//------------------------------//
// 10. Menacing Trio (by Eyeswirl the Weirded) 
// Story: Sunny, Moonie, Twily 
// by Jetto 
//------------------------------//

The exterior of J.A.A. Hoofenburg's Center for Enlightenment was extravagant. Which is to say, it was like pretty much any other building in Canterlot. While the renowned scientist after which it was name had long passed away, the Center served as an auditorium for events of a different sort of sophistication to the rest of the city; that of scholarly focus. Presentations of advanced arcane developments, scientific breakthroughs, wonders of engineering, philosophical debates, and even the occasional showing of artistic masterpieces could all be found here at one point or another.

This was where the presentation of the arcane projector was being held, many well-dressed ponies already inside. Which is to say, they were pretty much like any other inhabitants of any other building in Canterlot, but with an air of scholarly professionalism about them. Fancy Pants led the trio he'd met at the cafe to the door, floating a silver pocket watch from his coat.

"Here we are, and a good hour and thirty minutes before the presentation is due to formally begin! After you." Like a proper (if somewhat anachronistic in Sunset's opinion) gentlecolt, he held the door for them as they entered.

Almost the instant they set hoof in the door, they were greeted by a small herd of ponies in some combination of suits, glasses, ties, and sweater-vests.

A dull-green unicorn wearing a sweater-vest adorned with several well-polished badges of uncertain meaning stepped forward, grinning, "Fancy Pants! I knew you'd make it to the big showing! Gold Star said you probably had more important things to do,  but I calculated that the probability of that was only a thirty-two percent chance to his forty-ni-une!"

The last syllable was pronounced in a way that made Twilight's ear flick once. She detected Verbal Wrong.

Fancy nodded to the pony that just spoke. "Yes, pleased to be here. I'd like you all to meet-"

"I've been conducting research on vampiric animals," continued Shiny Badges, (which may have been his real name, given the prominence with which they were displayed) "I have a hypothesis that their parasitic qualities may not be inherent to any species that has them. You see, I figured out that-"

Another in the crowd cut him off. "Have you heard from Doctor Scratch and his auditory restoration research team?"

Then more, getting more insistent with each new voice.

"What do you make of the assertions that something has changed in the night sky since the attack by Nightmare Moon?"

"Ooh, that's a good point! Do you think we're still at risk of a sunless apocalypse?"

"I think Nightmare Moon may have had a plan that everypony might have liked, if we'd just reasoned with her."

"Nopony asked you."

"Are you still seeing Fluer De Lis?"

"I earned a ribbon in this year's city-wide science fair!"

The statements went on, in increasing order of inanity, as Fancy Pants sighed quietly, turning to the trio that came with him. "I do apologize, ladies, I'll be with you in just a moment." None of those vying for his attention even noticed he wasn't looking at them anymore. "Please, make yourselves comfortable, mingle a bit, and I'll be along as soon as possible."

They nodded, walking in.

The main room was a large, circular, bowl-like structure with rows of seats going around the perimeter in decreasing levels to the central presentation platform. The closest seats were those at the lowest elevation, as with most university classrooms. There were a few ponies seated and waiting for the curtains encircling the middle of the room to be lifted, but most were in the dining area until the presentation began. Despite the name, this room was used more for standing or sitting about and discussing things than formal meals, but a feature Moondancer had hoped for was still present.

"Snack table," she declared with a grin, "great place to meet ponies! You guys coming?"

Twilight and Sunset shook their heads, Twilight glancing in the direction they'd come from. "I think we should wait for Mr. Pants, he's bound to be here soon."

Moondancer shrugged. "Suit yourselves, later!" And off she went, wondering what they had to drink here.

The two could barely roll their eyes at eachother before they approached by a thin, well-kempt stallion in glasses and a light scarf. "Good day, ladies. What brings you to J.A.A. Hoofenburg's Center for Enlightenment?" He chuckled. "That's the building you're in right now, by the way."

They shared a glance, Twilight answering his question. "We're here with Mr. Pants to..." She looked around, not sure how to say that she and her friends were attending the presentation because their dorm room and the local library were ravaged by the magical equivalent of a fever dream. Poor Spike might be in therapy for weeks. "Just, kinda, be here, I guess?"

He smiled a little at them. It wasn't a friendly smile, but one that might be directed at a foal trying to wear a bucket as a hat. "I see. As it's clear the two of you are woefully out of your depth here, no offence, you simply must find somepony to enlighten you on the purposes of this center."

Twilight tilted her head. "Huh?"

Sunset rolled her eyes. She knew social grace wasn't Twilight's strong suit, but this was ridiculous. "Hey," she whispered to Twilight, "your idiot brother had too much of an influence on you. He's reading your Awkward as Stupid."

Twilight angrily pouted at her, only one particular part of that statement bothering her. "Shiny isn't an idiot!"

Witnessing this exchange did nothing to change the smugly-smiling stallion's mind about the pair. "As it happens, fortune smiles. I have little to attend to until the presentation begins, and even then my brilliance is better served, elsewhere. What say I be the one to help the two of you comprehend the world around you for a spell?"

Smirking, Sunset whispered to Twilight again. "Let me show you how it's done." Turning to the condescending stranger, she displayed a much more friendly grin and spoke in a much clearer, fashion. "What my friend here means to say is that neither of us are quite the ponies you assessed us to be upon first impressions, we do not require your aid."

He scoffed. "I rather doubt that. I-"

The socks were off. "Listen carefully," Sunset snarled while maintaining a perfectly friendly face, "there is a greater understanding of the world, of academics, of magic you have not and will not ever have the ability to perform in either of our tails than there will be in your entire body on your best day. That you assume you're smarter than us for being-" she shook her mane a little for emphasis, "-the prettiest mares you'll ever speak to, is disgusting. I don't even-"

"I never explicitly said I thought either of you were attractive," he interrupted, annoyed, "you're the one making assumptions here!"

Sunset smirked, stepping closer. "First, look me in the eye and say I'm not gorgeous."

He did neither. "I-I don't have to prove anything to-"

"Second, if it wasn't our looks, what was it? Do you just walk up to random ponies and act like they're newborn foals in adult bodies? Are you that conceited?" He opened his mouth, but she didn't slow down. "If you're thinking about calling me a hypocrite again, I can actually back up my claims." She gestured to her side. "Just ask her about the time I-"

Twilight was gone. Looking around, Sunset saw her a little ways across the room, talking to some older looking stallion who might have been hard of hearing, holding a hoof to his ear as she spoke.

Sunset sighed, not sure what it was that got Twilight's attention over the chance to hear her tear somepony to pieces. Not that Twilight ever seemed to stick around for those anyway. Turning to the pony she'd been talking to, she deadpanned. "You can go now."

"W-what?!"

"We're done talking, scram." It was not a suggestion, the thin stallion quickly trotting away. Sunset was about to go see what it was Twilight was talking about with the codger when, the moment she turned around, she was greeted by a small cloud of nerdy-looking ponies, all smiling widely.

"Greetings," one of them said, "we just wanted to say it's great to see smart fillies such as you and your friends expressing an interest in achievements in the field of magic. If you have the time, we'd love to hear your thoughts on infused gemstone projectors, the subject of today's presentation."

Glancing over at Twilight, Sunset saw she didn't notice that she was in a similar situation, Twilight's own little cloud of scholars waiting their turn to talk to her. Guessing these ponies didn't know who she was, Sunset smiled a little. "I could entertain some questions for a while..."





One thing Moondancer could say in favor of parties thrown by the wealthy? Good food, good wine. That was two things. Whatever. She filled a glass with red, sparkling wine. Smells like strawberry! Before she could take a sip, she sensed something at her side, turning to see the pony with the shiny badges from earlier.

Shiny Badges (real names could wait until later) smiled at her. "Why hello! Perhaps you would show the proper appreciation for the phenomena of vampiric animals."

Taking a quarter of a second to look him over, Moondancer smiled a little too. He wasn't outstanding, but she was fine with doing a little talking first. "Shoot."

"Wondrous!" He cleared his throat, as though giving an official presentation on the subject. "You see, there are all manner of fauna in the wide, wide world of Equestria, but a few of them have something in common; fangs, and the tendency to drain nourishment from other creatures! Vampire jackalopes, vampire fruit-bats, and more! But where do they come from? What could have made otherwise ordinary animals into bat-like oddities!" He chuckled. "Why, bat ponies themselves!"

Moondancer nodded a bit, taking a sip of wine. Strawberry, but with a hint of cinnamon!

"I believe, based on extensive research, that the cause of vampiric animals began with a transmission of magical energy from bat ponies, biting other creatures! If I could get a grant and money to delve further, I could uncover one of the greatest mysteries of pony-kind!"

The way he grinned suggested he was waiting for applause, but Moondancer just shrugged, keeping her small smile. "Actually, I don't think it works that way. The transmission of magical energy from one body to another is a kind of spell, not an infection. There might be creatures that can transmit magical diseases, but in order for a bat pony to imbue another life form with bat-like traits by biting, they'd have to be capable of casting spells with their teeth. I won't go into how many ways that would mess up your anatomy, most of all in your skull, but trust me when I say that the theory makes no sense. Besides," she continued with an eyebrow waggle, "I've thoroughly tested what happens when you get bitten by a bat pony. No cute little fangs yet!" She smiled widely to prove the point.

Badges stared back at her, his mouth hanging open.

"Also, the socially acceptable term is 'thestrals'. I wouldn't use the "b word" carelessly around them, it borders on offensive, unless used in a friendly, affectionate manner towards a close friend."

His silent expression of shock was the only retort.

"So, you doing anything later? I'd be happy to show you how I conducted my research." She took a sip of wine awaiting a reply. When there was only more stunned silence, she shrugged. "Guess not. Bye, then!" She turned and walked away, humming cheerfully in search of another partner.

Badges blinked a few times once she was gone. "...What."





Moondancer didn't know it, but she wasn't the only one in the room talking about how casting spells worked. Twilight had been tapped on the shoulder while Sunset was being Sunset with the guy that thought they were idiots. It was an older stallion with a thick, bushy moustache and thick, bushy brows that completely obscured his eyes, asking if she had seen Fancy Pants. Figuring Sunset could handle Captain Condescending on her own, Twilight offered to help look around for him. Mr. Pants must have been just about done talking to all those other ponies by now, right?

The old pony eventually left to take a seat and rest his old bones, needing to listen in carefully when Twilight wished him luck in getting a minute to talk to Mr. Pants some time soon. Not long after, Twilight overheard a conversation going on nearby that caught her attention.

This speaker sounded a little pompous too. "-my brilliant idea for the, uhum, less fortunate ponies, to be able to experience the wonders of performing magic; a synthetic horn!"

Synthetic horn? Her mind boggled. Would that be like, a fake horn capable of casting spells? That would be amazing! The very idea of such a thing could revolutionize Equestria! She stepped closer, not aware of how wide her smile was getting.

The sharply-dressed unicorn that proposed the idea glanced around at the ponies in suits that were listening to him. "Granted sufficient funding, I'm sure I could develop a prototype and be-"

Twilight couldn't help herself, grinning cheerfully. "Wow! You worked out how to integrate the system of bio-runes that form in every unicorn's cranial skeletal structure into an object small enough to attach to a pony's head, induce neural connections from it to the wearer's brain, and channel any pony's type of magic through the synthetic horn?"

The speaker, and all of those that had been thinking about getting in on the ground floor of his idea, turned to stare at the purple filly in silence for a moment. "Uhm," said the unicorn in the middle, "I'm sure it's all very simple."

Twilight chuckled. "Yea, I guess so. I mean, the information compacted into the average horn, not unlike a working brain, would easily fill several libraries if it were to be expressed in print, single-spaced, but if you've found a way to compile all of that into the space of the average ice-cream cone, great job!"

She meant it sincerely, but the businessponies were giving Synthetic Horn Guy some doubting looks. Before he could reassure them in the slightest, Twilight went on.

"The really tricky part would be linking it to the pony's brain, which normally happens as part of the natural biological processes, starting from birth. King Sombra is said to have experimented in his crystal death camps with cutting horns from dead unicorns and attaching them to earth ponies, but the most success he ever had was a bunch of insane, murderous husks of ponies driven mad by the shock of mis-conducted magical brain surgery, none of them even able to cast spells." She frowned, looking down at the ground. "Those poor ponies..." Shaking her head a little, she forced a smile. "But, well, I'm sure you already knew that."

The ponies in suits were staring in horror, both at the description and that they were almost involved with what were definitely company-destroying lawsuits at the very least. Some turned to angrily glare at the now-sweating pony that proposed the idea.

"Haha," he said, smiling nervously, "w-well, I'll admit there's some danger, but think of the benefits of anypony at all being able to cast any spell right away!"

Twilight's eyes widened. "Sweet Celestia, you even mean to integrate every spell in the book into each and every horn?! Wow, I don't think that'd even work, the sheer magnitude of information needed to cast even simple telekinesis, the reason ponies have to practice magic carefully, virtually ensures that such a thing is pretty much..." she started to frown, "impossible, actually." She raised a skeptical eyebrow. "How did you say you planned to do all this?"

If there was a single pony nearby that hadn't been glaring or staring questioningly at Synthetic Horn Guy, they must have gone to the snack table. "Well," he said very quickly, moving towards the door, "maybenotsuchagreatideathen, gotta go, bye!"

The crowd turned now to Twilight, a few speaking up.

"Not bad, young lady."

"Yes, showed that upstart things aren't so simple."

"About time somepony put one of his little get-rich-quick schemes to sleep!"

"Not a lot who remember the horror of the Crystal Empire's last days in this day and age."

"What was that about neural connections?"

Twilight smiled a little, always happy to share what she'd learned.





About an hour later, Moondancer sighed, partner-less and bored. There were no shortage of stallions here, but most of them nearly swallowed their tongues when she so much as talked to them, the rest going a little like Badges had.

This called for shenanigans.

Looking around, she opted to collect her friends and explore the place, seeing what they could stir up!

Sunset wasn't hard to find, sitting atop a lofty chair stacked on four other chairs while two academic-looking stallions fanned her with giant leaves, another telekinetically feeding her grapes as the rest sat in silence. From the looks of things, she was just wrapping up a poem.

...And the gleaming shards of ice that lie there broken on the floor,
will remain so, evermore.

Her listeners applauded quietly, some shedding less-than-manly tears. Approaching, Moondancer smirked. "I thought you didn't write poems for free."

Sunset gestured to her servants. "Does it look like I didn't charge anything?" Moondancer was a second from waggling her eyebrows and opening her mouth when Sunset held up a hoof. "Hey! No, bad Moondancer." She clapped two forehooves together. "Alright boys, that's all for today."

There was dejected group 'awww.' The one that had been feeding her grapes looked hopeful. "Will you perform for us again one day, Lady Sunset?"

Ignoring Moondancer's increasingly wide smile, she allowed herself a tiny smirk. "Maybe, if the mood hits me." Hopping off her cushion-throne, she walked alongside Moondancer.

"So..."

Sunset didn't turn her head. "So what?"

"Aren't you gonna ask what it is I wanted?"

"No, I'd just rather get you away from my fan-club before you sully my perfect image with your you-ness."

"That hurts."

"You love it."

Moondancer beamed. "You totally get me!"

Slightly worried if she was bringing unwanted Moonhugs on herself, Sunset glanced around quickly. "Seen Twilight?"

"Um..."

There was no obvious sign of their purple friend, but they did notice a row of sad-looking stallions drinking in silence.

A peppier one approached them before the two mares could. "Hey, what's got you guys so down in the dumps?"

One pointed a hoof at Twilight, talking to a pony in a lab-coat a ways across the room.

"Ooh, she's a cutie! Lemme guess, she rejected you all?"

Some nodded, one speaking without moving his deadened eyes from the floor. "We, we tried. Each of us, one at a time, tried to talk to her about our own fields of expertise." Dead eyes widened in a thousand-yard stare, like those of a jaded veteran still hearing the thunder and screams of battle. "But she knew, she always knew. More than we did. Every subject." His voice dropped to a whisper as he went very, very still. "Every time."

At the end of a long, awkward silence, the smiling colt ran a hoof through his mane. "Well then, challange accepted. Lemme show you how it's done!"

Sunset and Moondancer watched for a few minutes as he approached Twilight, got her attention, and said one sentence. They could see Twilight smile, talking for a little longer than he did. His expression went from a confident grin, to mild confusion, to utter dumbfoundedness, to remorse, to soul-crushing despair as he dragged himself back over to the group, joining them for a drink of failure.

Moondancer turned to Sunset. "Irony. Today, you're better at getting ponies to like you, Twilight is the one making them curl up into balls of self-loathing."

Sunset rolled her eyes, moving toward Twilight. "Shut up."

"Ooh, you're relapsing!"

It didn't take more than the assertion that they hadn't really explored the place yet to coerce Twilight to join them, though every scholar present seemed sad to see her go. And so they wandered, past doors, small groups of chatting ponies, and scientific artifacts on pedestals. Sunset was tempted to thwap Twilight on the back of the head when she started identifying each and every one, but instead she struck up conversation. "So, you guys learn anything so far?"

Moondancer grinned. "That you might be queen of the nerds?"

Twilight blinked. "She might be what of the what now?"

As much as Sunset might have liked to boast of her new title, it was hollow as long as Twilight had admirers of the same sort, even unacknowledged. "How about you? Any interesting topics?"

"Well," Twilight mulled over for a few seconds, "I heard a little about Mr. Pants. An older lady told me that the reason he got swamped the moment we walked in is because 'everypony who's anypony,' whatever that means, wants to talk to Fancy Pants. Not just here, but all throughout Canterlot."

"Huh," Sunset said while repressing a smirk, "and he wanted to talk to us." Truth be told, she'd partly been wondering why they didn't get that kind of treatment already. Moondancer she could maybe understand, if they'd heard about or participated in her hobbies, but she and Twilight were Celestia's best students! And yet, the cheering crowds go to ponies like Sapphire Shores...

Eventually, they found their way to a slightly less illuminated area down some stairs.

Twilight looked around cautiously. "Are we allowed in here?"

"Of course we are," retorted Sunset, "the door wasn't locked." That was the rule, you want ponies out, you lock your doors or hang a convincing sign. It was just common sense and she didn't care what that officer said to the contrary.

The first room they ventured into was a relatively large, circular one, with a similar platform in the center. Atop the platform was a marble cylinder, the well-polished surface adorned with gemstones.

"Huh," Moondancer pondered aloud, "I've heard of these, but it looks way too big to fit comfortably."

Not daring let her mind piece together whatever her pervy friend was thinking, Twilight opted to inspect the object herself. "I... I think this is the projector they were talking about. See how the spell matrix is set up on the outer ring?"

Sunset raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? Look how it's set up. The image'll be all grainy this way, nopony outside the first few rows will even know what's going on."

"If even that," remarked Twilight, "I see audio runes where the size amplification glyphs should be!"

"Who put this thing together, a diamond dog?"

"Diamond dogs would've probably just taken the central focusing gem -the hexagonal ruby over there on the left might work better for that, actually- and left."

Moondancer shrugged. "Well, these projectors did go out of style for a reason, more-so once earth pony engineers worked out projectors that didn't need complicated arcane circuitry to-"

Sunset nearly scoffed. "Complicated?"

Giggling, Moondancer waved a hoof. "For the laypony, Your Highness." She inspected the sides. "We could probably fix the discoloration this thing is gonna have if we rearranged these-oh! Or just..." Reaching out to tweak some gemstone alignments, she started making adjustments, the other two joining in.





Later, the trio smiled.

"There," said Twilight, "now the image, sound, and radial displays should be crystal clear!" The loss of the Crystal Empire really was a travesty for arcane engineering, but anything was worth stopping that monster.

"We should probably head back," Sunset said while moving toward the door, "they'll probably start the presentation soo-"

The three of them were instantly enclosed by a metal wall around the platform they'd been standing on, which started to rise as a long slant opened in the ceiling.

Looking at eachother, they shared a thought out loud. "Oh, crap!"





Fancy Pants sat in one of the rows of seat encircling the stage as crowed waited for the curtains to be lifted, trying to find the three he'd invited here today. Had they grown bored and wandered off? Sighing, he supposed he couldn't blame them.

The pony that organized the event began to speak, standing next to the ring of curtains blocking view through the center of the room. "Welcome, thank you all for coming. What we have for you today is a new and unpolished work, but it remains a very sophisticated piece of magical machinery. Without further adieu, I present for the first time; magical projection!

The curtains lifted, revealing three fillies that several members of the audience recognized, the white one casually leaning on the projector and winking at random ponies like she were hoping one of them would buy her a drink before the yellow one dope-slapped her.

The announcer looked considerably annoyed. "W-what the hay are the three of you doing?!"

Twilight lowered her head slightly with a sheepish smile. "Sorry, we were just looking around when we found the projector." She raised an eyebrow. "And, did I hear you say it was 'new, unpolished' technology? Because it really isn't."

Some in the crowd gasped. Fancy smiled.

Twilight couldn't tell if she'd done something wrong, so Sunset stepped forward. "The earliest-known arcane projection unit of this build was first identified around two centuries ago." She nodded to Moondancer, who triggered the projector with a light of her horn and a projection spell, amplified so the whole room could see the textbook page she was thinking detailing the first projector.

Next, Sunset nudged Twilight, who beamed and picked up where she'd left off. "As you can see, the projector takes the initial spell and magnifies the effects with-"

As the original announcer backed off, having maybe half a clue what these fillies were even saying, Fancy smiled to the doctors and professors around him. "These three," he said quietly, "these three are the ones I was telling you about! I did say they were most astute!"

He couldn't tell if they were nodding in agreement as charts and diagrams detailing the effectiveness of rubies versus diamonds for focusing gems were added, in perfect visual clarity, to the display, or if they were nodding because he'd said a thing again.





Later that day, in the meeting room for Celestia's School for Gifted Unicorns...

"They're a menace!"

"The library is polluted!"

"It'll take days to clean... that!"

Celestia repressed a sigh at the irate instructors and Mrs. Bookmark. She knew some of her students' hijinks (mainly just those of a particular three) got a little out of control, but the teachers had never complained like this before. "Please, I know you're all upset, but Twilight Sparkle, Sunset Shimmer," she paused for a second, waiting for a challenge to the assertion, "and Moondancer are some of the best, brightest minds this school has ever seen."

"They're also a menace!"

In the Day Court, ponies tended to agree with whatever she said. Why couldn't that ever work when she wanted it to? As she tried to remember some of their better moments, Raven walked in with a piece of paper. For once, she didn't wait to get Celestia's attention. "Princess? I think you should see this."

Levitating the paper to where she could read it, Celestia started to grin. "My, my." She turned to her aide, grateful for the timing. "Thank you for bringing this to my attention, Raven." Raven nodded, the rest of those gathered giving Celestia curious looks. The smile got wider, but she kept a gentle 'princess' tone.

"Would all of you mind looking over this letter from the Enrichment Center, please?" Resisting the urge to cackle, she placed the paper flat on the table.

Minutes later, everypony understood that the trio they'd gathered to complain about had pulled off a forty-six minute presentation on archiac arcane technology with little or no preparation beforehoof.

"Now," Celesta said, entirely too cheerful, "what's all this I'm hearing about them being a, what was it-oh! A menace...?"