//------------------------------// // 100,000 Years Isn't Long Enough // Story: The Life and Times of Nightmare Moon // by RainbowDoubleDash //------------------------------// Okay, Luna mused to herself, closing her eyes and transforming her body into a blue-violet, nebulous mass of starlight, floating atop the ceiling and staring down as a white pony with a purple mane and tail entered the backstage area, looking for Princess Celestia. I can do this, I can do this, I do not have stage fright… The unicorn looked around, saw nothing – the Star Beasts were hiding elsewhere –and returned to the stage. “She’s gone!” She called out. And…now. Luna moved, her nebulous mass writhing and twisting around on itself as she manifested upon the tallest balcony in the town hall…and found herself staring at scores of ponies, who were all staring back at her in fear and terror and their eyes were boring into her and trying to steal her soul they were judging her right now silently with their eyes – No! Luna demanded of herself. Pony up, Luna! Just imagine them all naked! It occurred to Luna that they were, in fact, all naked already. Well, then just imagine them…as blank flanks. Yeah. This whole crowd of ponies have blank flanks! That’s silly. Luna suppressed a chuckle at that as she looked out across the crowd and summoned up her best evil voice. “Oh, my beloved subjects,” she said, looking around and putting on her best evil queen voice. “It’s been so long since I’ve seen your precious sun-loving faces.” “What did you do with our princess?” One pegasus demanded, a mare with a cyan coat and rainbow-hued mane and tail – Somepony has been gorging herself on my ambrosia, Luna observed, eyes narrowing – before trying to charge her. The pegasus was only stopped by an orange earth pony grabbing her tail. Of bigger concern was the pony’s words, however. “Why?” She asked. “Am I not royal enough for you? Don’t you know who I am?” “Ooh! Ooh! More guessing games!” A pink earth pony exclaimed. “Um... Hokey Smokes!” What? No, there’s no way that Celestia would have just let them forget me – “How about Queen Meanie?” Meanie? Look, sister, if Tia had had her way your entire race would have been two-legged hairless monkeys – “No! Black Snooty, Black Snooty!” …I am going to murder Tia, Luna decided for the upteenth time tonight. She struggled to maintain character as she descended from the balcony. “Does my crown no longer count, now that I have been imprisoned for a thousand years? Did you not recall the legend? Did you not see the signs?” “I did!” A lavender unicorn exclaimed. Luna turned to regard the filly. Yes, Luna congratulated herself. I knew Tia couldn’t make them all forget me…the unicorn pressed on: “And I know who you are.” Damn straight, Luna thought. It’s not like I guided the evolution of your species or anything – “You’re the Mare in the Moon!” Luna blinked. “Nightmare Moon!” …They don’t remember me. Luna’s mind shut down. She went into a sort of autopilot, immersing herself in the evil overlord character completely. “Well, well, well,” she said, wings fluttering. “Somepony who remembers me. Then you also know why I’m here.” “You’re here to…” the unicorn said, before looking down in horror. “To…” Luna felt herself chuckling. “Remember this day, little ponies, for it was your last. From this moment forth, the night shall last forever!” Luna reared up, letting her mane and tail release magic and cause lightning and thunder for effect. She fell into evil laughter. Inside, she felt somewhat less happy. They really don’t remember me. Tia let them forget me, Luna realized. No, wait. No. There’s no way they would have just forgotten me. I helped create them! So what if I’ve been gone a thousand years? I was still there, plain as day, on the moon. But even this unicorn… No wonder they’ve been looting my ambrosia! They really don’t know any better! Somepony must have made them forget me. Or made them think I was evil, turned me into this Nightmare Moon character. But who has the kind of reach and influence to make the entire pony race just forget – Oh, fuck you, Tia! Fuck you sideways! You’re staying two hundred thousand years in the Sun now! “Seize her!” a voice cried out. Luna stopped her laughing at the sound, and saw a beige earth pony – probably the mayor of this stupid little town – pointing at her. “Only she knows where the princess is!” Luna watched the golden-clad guards charge at her. Wow, they really had forgotten just about everything there was to know about her. For a moment she considered letting the guards actually reach her and struggle to make her move even an inch…but…nah, lightning was more fun, and wouldn’t really hurt them anyway since they were pegasi. “Stand back, you foals!” she exclaimed, stomping one hoof. Lightning arced from her mane and hit the guards, knocking them away and stunning them. She summoned up another evil laugh…but her heart wasn’t really in it. Ah, forget it, she decided, body dematerializing. I’m outta here. --- “How did it go, mistress?” Scorpio asked as Luna returned, the five meeting up in some large field that was big enough for Cetus’ fat ass. “Terrible!” Luna took a few moments to pound her hooves into the ground in anger. “Arrgghh, Tia made those stupid ponies forget who I was while I was gone! I swear they have the racial memory of gnats.” She fumed a moment. “I was right there on the moon!” The swan shifted. “W-well, there is Nightmare N – ” “Maybe not right now,” Draco interrupted, tail flipping up and wrapping around the swan’s beak as he turned to his mistress. “So, mistress, the plan is…?” Luna groaned and flopped down onto the ground. “Same as before. We’ll give ‘em a month or two of night, let ‘em get cold and hungry, then I’ll come back all beneficent n’ such and they’ll love me again.” “You think it’ll be that easy?” Cetus asked. “I mean, I think they’ll mostly just be terrified and stuff. You’ll probably have to deal with rebel cells for years – ” “I swear to God, Cetus, I am not in the mood!” Luna exclaimed, wings fluttering for effect. She stood back up and glared at the spherical, cetacean star beast. “Only one of those stupid ponies remembered me! One!” “Well, there’s probably a few more,” the swan tried to say even though her beak was still wrapped up. “Since – ” Draco’s grip tightened. “You have a hundred thousand years to make everypony forget about your sister, if you like,” he pointed out. Luna considered, and smiled. “Two hundred thousand years. I decided to keep her in there longer.” She held up a hoof, and the sun appeared once more over it. “Hear that, Tia? You’re up to two hundred thousand years in the sun!” There was a pause. “What would mom and dad say if they heard language like that?” “I thought your parents were abstract concepts of light and shadow…” Scorpio said aloud. “Yes, and they’d be furious with Tia’s fucking mouth right now if they weren’t!” Luna backed away, turned around, and gave the sun a good solid buck in order to rattle Celestia’s cage, both literally and figuratively. She then returned it to its proper orbit and size – in that order, she didn’t need a repeat of three and a half billion years ago. “So what now?” Cetus repeated. “We go back to Canterlot? You’re still gonna have the same problems, mistress.” Luna stuck her tongue out at him. “Look, Canterlot’ll get over it, okay? They’ll accept me back, I know it. I’m way easier to get along with than my sister.” She trotted over to the whale, wrapping one wing around a tiny, tiny portion of his incredibly fat body as she gestured with a hoof. “It’ll be great, Cetus, and then we can work on getting your weight down.” “Mistress, I – ” Cetus began, sounding hurt. “They might rebel against a princess who put the other one in the Sun for two hundred thousand years,” Draco pointed interrupted, leaning back and putting one hand to his chin. “Even if you make it clear that they don’t have an alternative. I mean, no offense, but the black coat and starry mane and fangs don’t exactly scream ‘I’m a sane and responsible ruler’ anymore.” “Hey! Shut up! I was stuck on the moon for a thousand years, I don’t know the fashions!” Luna objected, one hoof at her mouth. Fangs were very fashionable back in the day, though at her whim they disappeared from her mouth. She paused a moment. “Although…hey…hey, yeah, got it! I’ll just act like I don’t have a clue what’s going on!” She began strutting, head and wings held high imperiously. “We have been gone for a thousand years! We don’t know what fun is! Thou this! Shalt that! I can make that work.” She looked to Draco. “Eh? Right? They’ll eat it up. Throw in something about me being corrupted by black magic or something. We’ll just put on a good show about my ‘corruption’ being removed!” “And then after that,” Scorpio reasoned, “your sister can still be trapped in the Sun. Your magic isn’t strong enough without the…Nightmare Forces, I guess? …and you’re trying really, really hard but it might take years…” Luna stomped one front hoof and pointed with the other. “Yeah! That! That’s why you’re my idea guy, Scorpio.” She hoof-bumped his claw. “Right! So, first thing we have to do is go to Canterlot and have a party, damnit. I’m back, I deserve a party. Then we’ll just wait for the first heroes or whatever to come along. I’ll put up a little fight and pretend to go down, the ‘Nightmare Forces’ will leave me, and then bam! Instant love from the whole country.” “I don’t think – ” Cetus tried. “Hang on, though,” Luna interrupted. “There was that one pony who recognized me. She should come to Canterlot too, get to party with us. And I guess I need a damsel in distress or something for the act.” A piece of Luna’s mane broke off, quickly darting through the town and inspecting each and every window for the purple-coated unicorn that was to have the honor of accompanying Luna and her four most loyal minions on the party of the millennium. Her consciousness extended through the mote of mane, of course, allowing her to still perceive what it did. It finally came across the unicorn in, of all things, a giant tree-turned-library. She was with five other mares – all of whom had been at the town hall – reading some kind of book. “It is said,” she was saying, “that the last known location of the five elements was in the ancient castle of the royal pony sisters – ” Five elements? Luna thought. What five elements? Why are they looking up things about five elements – Wait. Fuck. Wait. Wait. Fuck! The mare wasn’t talking about five elements, she was talking about five elements plus a sixth one that was always a slippery thing that never seemed to hang around when it was needed. She was talking about the Elements of Harmony. “Aw, fuck.” Luna said.