It took several discussions between all three princesses, but it was eventually concluded that Canterlot would be the best place for Cadance to be to receive and learn to focus order magic. Although it would mean more time spent away from her empire and her husband, Cadance understood that it would be safer for herself if something went wrong. This way, both of her aunts would be present in the event of a complication.
Cadance wondered though – after hearing Princess Celestia's recounting of Twilight's first chaos magic session – why her training could take place in a densely-populated pony area whereas her sister-in-law's could not.
When she met with her elder aunt for her first session, she decided to ask.
The Canterlot castle gardens were as open a place as could be found in the mountain top city, the various flora all set in neat, tidy sections and the statues and fountains placed strategically throughout made for a well-organized and sufficiently orderly place for the young princess to learn about and receive order magic.
Princess Celestia greeted her as warmly as Cadance would have expected, but there was something behind her eyes, a tiredness that left them dimmer than they usually shone.
“I had hoped that observing Twilight's and Discord's first attempt might provide me with some idea of how best to approach ours,” Celestia recounted as they strolled to an open space in the garden. “However I did not glean as much as I expected to, although I shouldn't be surprised.”
“Was it that bad, their first training session?”
“If one were to call it that,” Celestia replied. “It is not how I would have decided to approach things.”
Cadance tilted her head to one side perplexedly, her mane shifting with the motion.
“If you disapprove of his methods, how would you differ them?”
“For one, I would not allow Twilight to be the one calling the shots. You both know so little about this magic we wield, you need much more gentle guidance than merely being thrown into the deep end.”
Celestia seemed to catch herself, backtracking as she glanced back to Cadance. “However, I have promised not to interfere with their lessons--- or transference--- or whatever they decide to call what they are doing.”
“But you were able to glean something, I trust?” she asked, for the moment ignoring her aunt's cooler demeanor when mentioning her lack of surprise.
“Of course,” Celestia answered with a nod. They had reached a wider space where the hedges traced an almost complete rectangle surrounding them, and all that stood near them was one small fountain slightly near the furthest side.
“Auntie, may I ask you about our training since you brought it up, because I was wondering about how much it will differ from Twilight's, and---”
Celestia raised a hoof politely, silencing her. “There will be time for questions after we have begun with our first transference.”
And with that, they began.
The order magic transference was a strange experience, as the ancient magic flowed into her from the alicorn's horn to her own Cadance could feel a strong weight pressing both onto and into her. What was strangest of all about it though, was that - although it only lasted for a few brief moments - following each small installment of the transference, Cadance could feel an overwhelming sense of peace and calm enveloping her. It radiated all the way through her body from her horn to her hooves, a serenity that the young princess had never felt before.
“How... how much are you going to give me?” she asked through the pleasant haze that enveloped her.
“Only a small portion to start, please be silent until I've finished.” she heard Celestia say, polite again but firm.
She obliged, her eyes closed as she breathed deeply. She almost felt like she was immersed in a warm, luxurious bath. It was peace, warmth, and comfort.
Her eyes blinked open as she felt the sensation ebb away slowly, Cadance began to re-orientate herself. She had braced herself for nearly anything, but she hadn't expected it to make her feel so at ease, so at peace with herself.
Funny though, that that wasn't the impression she got from the one who had just given her this power. Ever since she had mentioned wanting to ask about Twilight's training – from the moment they met today – the elder princess seemed preoccupied.
“Auntie, is there something troubling you? Did you not get enough rest last night?” she inquired, truthfully concerned but almost certain Celestia's demeanor had nothing to do with lack of sleep.
“To be honest, I haven't been able to sleep as soundly as I once have,” she closed her eyes as if to give herself a moment to compose herself and not betray her true feelings. Not realizing of course, that feelings were harder to hide around Cadance.
“Forgive me for being a tad short with you today, Cadance. I do have a lot on my mind, what with all of this chaos imbalance going on.”
“I take no offense, and I completely understand,” Cadance assured the princess. “But if it is alright, may we discuss Twilight's training and why it differs so from mine?”
“There is not much to be discussed. Luna and I are taking care of our side of things, teaching you to wield order, and I am relying on Discord to do his part with Twilight and the chaos side of the balance exchange.”
“And... you don't think Discord is doing it right?” she asked, trying to gauge what the precise cause was for the alicorn's current mood.
“I am concerned that Discord is not taking things as seriously as he should, and that Twilight might end up taking on far more than she can handle under his tutelage.”
Perhaps it was the influence of the new magic coursing through her, but Cadance felt a clarity of mind that made her already keen sense for other ponies' emotions even more heightened. This gave her the confidence to approach Celestia and question her so boldly.
"I can understand not trusting him, it would only be natural for you. You and Aunt Luna serve as his opposite to balance him. Not to mention what he did in the past to our world. But, he has been improving so much, acclimating to this plane by your own admission. With all due respect Auntie, when will this end?"
She had turned her head away from Cadance, her mane swishing in its eternal flow to obscure her eyes, and for a moment the silence grew tense.
"It is what he has done in the past that leaves such little room for complete forgiveness," the alicorn answered.
Cadance blinked, walking slowly around to find Celestia's eyes, "But you were starting to accept him, even just as an unpleasant inevitability. Whatever holds you back, it isn't doing any pony any favors."
"It would seem that allowing him to stay is not either."
"So, this isn't only about Twilight?" Cadance asked with a realizing tone.
"Of course it is,” came her clipped response. Cadance wasn't convinced, however. The orange and yellow aura that surrounded her when she spoke of Twilight was there, but muted, the unicorn was clearly not the only thing on Celestia's mind.
“I worry for her, I still do not believe that she knows what she is getting herself into.”
“But I signed on for the exact same task, do you not worry for me?”
“Yes, but it is different for you. Order is simply not as dangerous as chaos, there are far fewer things that can go wrong. That is especially true considering That I am here for you as well as Luna.”
“And because order is something that you understand completely,” Cadance continued her aunt's thought. “And you trust the beings providing me with the order magic.”
Cadance would of course never say so out loud, but her perceptions were steering more towards the idea that her aunt did not have a leg to stand on with that argument. She couldn't shake the thought that there was something else that Celestia was holding on to – something more than the usual distrust of Discord - if only she would let Cadance in.
“I don't want to pry, but if there is something else you need to talk about, I'm right here to listen.”
When her aunt did not speak up, Cadance decided to go ahead and pry just a little.
“Is it so hard to comprehend that he is doing all that he can to fix things, to help not only Twilight, but his new home?”
Cadance saw something flair in Celestia's eyes, and she could see the aura around her shift. This usually warm familial orange was now tinged with the color of loss. Cadance could almost guess what Celestia was going to say even as she struggled with the admission.
"This should not be his home, he does not deserve it. My mother loved every single creature since she first saw them. She dreamed for eons of living here among them. She wanted to take care of them, longed for a way to be here that would not harm them. He only ever dreamed of their suffering, of spreading his chaos far beyond his limits.”
Celestia's voice grew even sharper, her mane now completely out of the way for both eyes to find Cadance's.
“So tell me how it is that she should fade away and he remain. Why should he be granted the wish that she died for? Tell me how that is fair, Cadance," her outburst came down in volume, only to intensify in seethe.
Cadance stared at her aunt, her princess. She had never seen Celestia like this.
The pony that stood before her - though she still eclipsed her in size - from the tears forming in her eyes to her stiff, splayed stance of both anger and admission... this was a daughter after the loss of her mother.
"Do... do you blame him somehow for your mother's choice?"
"Of course not, but... this - what he's doing now - that is all she ever wanted. The first thing Discord did after she faded was celebrate by messing up the world. He never even mourned her, his sister in all respects."
Cadance tried to comfort the alicorn. It felt strange attempting to do so for a pony she thought would be so much further beyond holding such pain, such grudges. "But he is doing that now. He finally understands why she loved them so."
"I know, I can see that. Or I could, rather," she said. "I suppose I still find it difficult to trust him not only because of his past or his potential for destruction, but because I didn't want to entertain the thought that he could be sincere. Not the being who caused so much imbalance to this plane, who did not seem to love or respect his partner enough to love or respect those she held dear."
"You don't want Discord to be here because you're jealous for your mother's sake? Auntie, I never would have thought you so petty,” Cadance shook her head, nearly laughing at this breakthrough. “After all that he has done to prove himself as sincerely wanting to remain, do you really think that Harmony would deny him that?"
There was a long moment where her aunt appeared to battle with herself. Cadance saw Celestia's aura shift back almost to normal as she mulled over the question, clearly considering what her mother really would have done.
"Perhaps not,” she sighed, the fire in her subsided. “But that still does not change what is happening.”
“It could change how you react to it, how things will transpire moving forward.”
Another long silence passed between them, then a soft smile appeared on her aunt's features. Her brows going up with realization, or perhaps resignation.
“You are right, I know you are, it will take me some time, but I think - I feel – one day in the future I could see myself being past this. For Twilight, for my mother, for all the beings over which we rule and keep balance.”
Cadance returned the smile, happy to see that Celestia's aura was easing back to normal now.
“It may not be tomorrow, but I will try harder, Cadance.”
Nearly two more weeks had passed, and Twilight didn't feel any closer to getting a handle on this power as she had been at the start.
She was still willing and even eager to take on the full power, but at the pace she was going she wondered just how much of Equus might need to be fixed by then.
When they weren't doing their training, Discord was still globe-hopping in an attempt to not cause too much damage to a specific area. He had become very secretive about it, but he assured Twilight that every anomaly was being taken care of as it appeared.
It seemed as though every time Twilight tried to force the chaos magic to do what she wanted, the harder it rebelled. She knew she must be doing something wrong, approaching it the wrong way, but this was the fastest way she could see to get the intended result without it overwhelming her. She felt like she had to take charge of it or be at the mercy of its power.
“Perhaps if your easing-in method isn't working like you want it to, you could give diving in head first a try,” Discord suggested after the third or fourth attempt of the day.
“What, do you mean just--- open up the block all the way and let it all come out at once?”
“I wouldn't suggest it if I didn't think you could handle it. You've been struggling against it to keep it under control, I simply wonder if working with it might change anything.”
“I feel like I have to do it this way, it's like taming a wild beast,” she said through her breaths, for once again she was winded after having her insides wracked with misbehaving magic.
“No offense meant, I assume.”
Twilight laughed softly, a sigh escaping her at the same time. “But really, you might be right. I just worry about what could happen if I did that.”
“That's what I'm here for,” Discord said. He stood beside her as she caught her breath, and she smiled as his arm wound around her shoulders. She found his closeness more comforting than frustrating nowadays, even if she was certain he did it more often now just because he could.
“If only I could find some method that would make things go more smoothly and expedite the process,” she thought out loud, still semi-focused on her predicament even with Discord trying to distract her from the problem with his touch. Although, her breathing had slowed and her posture relaxed. Maybe this distraction came from a better place than she had initially given him credit for.
“I think we should first focus on your accuracy and stamina before we move on to the speed of your training. Speed should take a back seat.”
She looked back towards him, ignoring for the moment that they were nearly muzzle-to-muzzle.
“But we have to think about how the world is reacting to all the magical imbalance. I fear things will be too far gone if we don't act quickly.”
Discord didn't reply to that immediately, taking advantage of his claw's proximity to her mane to stroke it thoughtfully. That was probably more for his benefit than Twilight's, although it wasn't as if it didn't feel nice.
“I agreed to this plan of yours for you, Ms. Sparky. For the world yes, but foremost for you, so forgive me if I put your magical imbalances slightly ahead of those of the rest of Equus.”
“I appreciate your concern, but this is the world we're saving, and your place in it we're securing. Let me worry about how to handle myself and my new magic and you just make sure I don't explode or anything.”
Not being able to stand the closeness any longer, she gave him a swift kiss and then pushed him away with her hoof.
“Now I'm going to try your suggestion, so I suggest you back up.”
Discord obliged, albeit with a reluctant look back as he slunk away from her.
It certainly did sound dangerous - opening up her mind to the chaos and going with it instead of against it – but she trusted herself to be able to handle it, and she trusted Discord to be there if something went wrong.
Waiting until she thought he was at a safe enough distance away from her, Twilight yet again tapped into the chaos magic, but this time instead of sliding her mental door open just a fraction, she eased it open wide. No leash, no harness, no constriction of any kind. She allowed the magic to engulf her mind and take her for once where it wanted to go.
And she found that once she had given it more freedom...it stopped resisting. It didn't hurt her as much as when it would fight her. Now that it was given more leeway, the magic seemed to be much more willing to work with her. Twilight felt the power surging through her in a much more natural way now, this part of her she had for so long denied access finally set free felt almost like finally relaxing a tired, long-flexed muscle.
And it was at that moment that Twilight realized something, an epiphany in this sea of chaos power.
It wasn't that she was just a tiny magical swimmer being tossed around in a massive chaos ocean – it was that she was the ocean. This magic was not just a part of her, it was her and hers both. She could control the ocean because it was hers to control, not the reverse.
With this new realization, a sense of clarity came over her, and Twilight planted all four hooves firmly on the ground and began again, this time approaching it from this new perspective.
She felt the familiar sense of the power trying to take over, and this time she worked with it, forging safe channels within her mind and spirit to work the magic through her. She was surprised at how much better it felt when she tried it this way, it flowed with her this time, and it was far less painful, far less draining. It almost felt good, even. The waves that washed over her now felt so much more natural, they felt strange and exhilarating.
Now going with the flow, the blue chaos magic sprang from her, and suddenly a small sapling began to grow close to her hooves. It grew before her eyes into a massive tree with leaves the color of a midnight sky, and silver berries that sparkled in the bright desert sun.
Twilight smiled at the sight of it, something she had created from nothing, a feat not normally feasible, but now she could accomplish by merely thinking about it. It was an intoxicating feeling to know that anything- literally anything – could be possible for her at this moment.
Two more trees sprang up to join their friend, and then a flock of brightly multicolored macaws to fill them.
“Wonderful,” she heard Discord express. “I'd say this is an improvement.”
“No doubt,” she replied, it was suddenly so much easier to speak while casting with the magic. Part of her then wondered how hard it might be now to reign in. At the moment though, reigning it in felt like the last thing she wanted to do.
“Don't be afraid to use your imagination, Ms. Sparky.”
Beneath the trees, violets and jasmines sprang up and bloomed before her eyes, filling the desert air with their sweet aromas. Twilight was playing it safe, she knew, but just because she had a handle on it for the moment did not mean that it couldn't turn on her just as swiftly.
In her newly-grown garden,Twilight placed an ornate, three-tiered fountain nearly overflowing with pink lemonade, and to occupy the flowers appeared seventeen silver crickets that chirped her favorite song in a tinkling, music box sound.
“Very nice,” she heard Discord approve from the sidelines, his voice sounding further away then he actually was, almost as if through a tunnel. She dismissed it, however.
Twilight's smile grew with each new thing she brought into being. She of course knew that this chaos magic could be used to create beauty as well as craziness, for she had seen Discord use it before, but the feeling of being the one to have made these things so, the intoxicating rush continued to fill her and exhilarate her, and she wondered what else she could create.
Before she could form the thought all the way, another flock of birds flew in out of nowhere, their shining wings as sharp as knives, or made of them more like. They flew in a pattern like starlings, just as fast if not faster than their feathered brethren.
They swooped down low over Twilight's head, and she meant to duck but even before she could begin the gesture, a large blue bubble formed over her like a protective dome, keeping the sharp-winged creatures from accidentally decapitating their creator.
Her garden grew in size as she continued to wield the chaos, feeling the power in the flow and the ease in going along with it. She felt almost drunk on it now, and random items were springing up before she could even think.
She had been so ensconced in the flow of the magic - of relishing in the power and the success this new method brought - she did not notice that she had nearly fallen into a newly-created pit of ouroboros. She would have fallen right on top of the strange snakes' writhing bodies had it not been for Discord.
Using his own portion of chaos magic, he picked up Twilight and made the pit disappear before she fully had time to realize the danger.
Setting her back down with the magic, Discord waved his clawed hand in front of her to get her attention. “Ms. Sparky, Discord to Ms. Sparky, are you in there?”
Twilight shook her head, the volume turned backup on her hearing. The tunnel was gone now, but a faint buzzing still lingered for a moment with Discord's words.
Her concentration broken, the scenery she had created around her began to ripple as if in a haze, and slowly it all started to fizzle out of existence.
“It's all disappearing,” she stated with some level of disappointment.
“It might take yet more time for things to stay altered, perhaps when you've obtained more of the chaos,” Discord replied. “But you might want to do something about those birds.”
He was right, the flock of knife-winged birds were flying further out into the distance, where they could most certainly cause damage to any pony before they too fizzled out. Twilight concentrated as she had done before, but now pulling a set of imaginary brakes, halting the chaos power that gave the birds their structure. It worked, they soon poofed out of existence, and Twilight lept up in excitement.
“Discord, did you see? I was able to keep it in check and undo something I had created!”
Oddly enough, while Discord did seem pleased, there was still a wary edge to him as he surveyed her giddy demeanor.
“I saw, and I should say that this was a quite successful day,” he scrutinized her more carefully, and Twilight wondered what could be the matter. She felt fine, better than fine, even. She was full of pride and excitement and still riding on the high that wave of chaos magic had given her. Did she not look fine?
“Are you sure you feel alright, though?”
“Yes, I'm fine, Discord,” she stated truthfully. But he did not look entirely convinced.
“You were twitching a great deal near the end there, and I noticed your eyes change color.”
“Oh, that? That's just something the magic does to my eyes, it's fine,” she assured him. “It'll go away in a bit.”
“And will that?” Discord asked, creating a mirror to hold in front of her, and when Twilight got a good look at herself and she almost gasped at the sight.
Her horn was black, it almost looked like it had when she had singed it before after using the chaos magic the first time, but it somehow also looked worse. Her mouth formed a silent 'oh' and she winced in preparation for pain as she lifted a hoof to touch it, moving her bangs aside to see more clearly. The black covering her horn branched out and faded off into craggy, vein-like lines down her forehead.
She had barely touched the tip of her horn with her hoof when the ringing in her ears began again, this time louder and more intensely. It caused her to lose her balance slightly, her equilibrium off kilter for some reason. But it didn't exactly 'hurt' so as startling as it was, Twilight considered it not too bad.
“That's, uh--- that's fine, too.”
Discord reached out his front limbs to catch her, but Twilight waved him away. She was fine, really, and she shook her head again, this time focusing her own magic on her horn and the space around it.
Looking back into the mirror, she sighed inwardly that everything looked normal again. She turned back to Discord to show him.
“See? No harm done,” she gave him a smile that he had hoped he would return. It took him a few moments, but he finally did.
“I suppose not, but I do believe we should quit for the day while we are ahead.”
Twilight nodded, “I agree.”
“And I believe that this is a good time to celebrate your new surge of success with a little surprise,” Discord's smile grew more secretive, and Twilight was intrigued.
“Did you already have a surprise waiting for me, or is this something you're just coming up with now?”
“One should not look a surprise in the mouth,” he wagged a clawed finger at her, still smirking.
Discord flashed them back into his castle, and he led her down a corridor she didn't remember having gone down before, or perhaps it didn't even exist until today, she wasn't sure.
Opening the door on the left wall near the end of the hallway,Twilight saw into the room and her eyes grew wide, this time from a pleasant shock.
Her book chair had a new home, it now sat cozily in the windowed nook of a room filled with shelves of books. One large glowing orb floated at the near center of the ceiling, while a few smaller orbs hovered about, shifting the light and shadow as they passed. Her chair wasn't the only comfy spot to sit, either. There was a luxurious-looking deep red couch an a pair of yellow ottomans all set around a low, claw-foot table.
It was a library. A real and proper library.
“Honestly, I don't know why I didn't think of adding this room sooner. But then again, you might just have begun to come around simply for the books. You'll find the room across the hall to be yours as well.”
“A library and a bedroom?” she questioned, to which he shrugged.
“If you are to be the new chaos being, then you might be spending more time here with me. I'd like you to have some place where you feel comfortable. This castle may as well be half yours.”
Half Twilight's. It was really starting to sink in that she really was becoming Discord's successor. With today's fairly good progress, it might not be too much longer after all. At least she hoped it wouldn't be.
It didn't have the splendor of Canterlot's or the Crystal Empire's libraries, but the room did have a warmth and coziness to it that reminded her of her library back home. She supposed that was what Discord had been going for. He wanted her to feel at home, like this was her home. Her heart flipped and her smile grew even wider. As anxious as that normally would have made her, Twilight recognized the effort he must have put in to create this for her, or restore it from its previous condition, or whatever he had done. This was a generous and heartfelt gesture, reminding her of that night a month ago when he'd planned that special evening just for her.
This time however, she was determined to respond more appropriately.
Taking in the sight, the smell, and the peaceful tranquility that she so enjoyed when being surrounded by stories and knowledge,Twilight practically skipped over to the shelves to inspect them.
“This is just--- I'm just so--- thank you, Discord,” she stumbled over her words as she ran her hoof along one of the shelves, beaming back at him.”It's perfect.”
“Is it? I wasn't sure if you'd want something a bit flashier. The old library from back when this place belonged to Celestia and Luna had long since been ransacked and abandoned, but the space had been exponentially larger and more grand.”
“No, no, it's just right,” she assured him, and to that he grinned back at her.
Taking her time looking away from him, she found her attention drawn back to the shelves. She noticed that not all of them were in her own language. Some were in Griffon, some Sleipnirnian, and even some in the old dialect she recognized from the Stataera Equus.
“Discord, are these---”
“Texts from all over the world, yes. Some of them are extremely hard to come by, I can tell you.”
“But when did you have the time to---”
“I needed something to do while doing all of this traveling, did I not?” he said, and her astonished smile just made his smile even brighter.
Twilight was overcome, she really could not have been more pleased with a surprise she had ever received in her entire life, but even so though, a faint suspicion began to creep up from the back of her mind.
“And from where exactly did these rare books come?”
“Don't worry, most of them are merely copies of the true texts. I doubt even you would be able to tell the real ones apart from the fakes.”
“But wait, some of these are the real thing? Let me rephrase, how did you get these rare books?”
“Can you not just enjoy the gesture without question?” Discord asked as he flopped himself down onto the couch.
“I am enjoying it, and appreciating it. I just wanted to know---”
“Ep ep ep, you're enjoying the new addition, that's all that matters. Might we have a subject change?”
Twilight was still skeptical, but eventually decided to let this one slide. She was excited to peruse these books as much as she wanted. Whenever she wanted now, she supposed.
As she took in her surroundings, listening to the quiet and smelling the age of the pages around her, she noticed Discord on the couch, still with his sly smile, drinking in her reaction and looking like it tasted endlessly satisfying.
It was as she met his gaze again that something popped into her head, a question she had been itching to ask him but with all that was going on had slipped to the back of her mind. Her smile grew even more with the remembrance.
“Okay, then… how about you answer a little more about this?” she inquired, bringing out the tome she had found deep underneath the library in the Crystal Empire. It was the Stataera Equus, and as far as Twilight knew it was the foremost and apparently the most factual account of the times before Celestia and Luna, the only factual account of The Great Pony Harmony and the other spirits who helped her keep the balance. One of those spirits being Discord.
Discord shook his head tiredly at the site of the book. “Oh, that thing again? Really Ms. Sparky, you should know by now that every word in that infernal book is true. Unfortunate, but true. Do you really need me to cite every passage to back it up?”
She gave him a smirk that she hoped conveyed that yes, she very much wanted to do that. “Hey, you wanted to change the subject.”
Carrying the book over to him with her magic, she settled down on the couch with it open to the page that showed the intricately drawn artist’s rendering of Harmony and Discord.
Twilight held the book between them as he leaned his face down next to hers to see better. She pretended not to notice how his enormous right paw had draped itself over the back part of the couch and quite dangerously close to her shoulders. Her other side was blocked as well, for his large, elongated form took up much of the seat, his tail was unable to fit and he had pulled it as close as he could manage, the tufty end coming to rest around where Twilight’s hooves lay just slightly over the edge.
He could have made them a larger couch, but Twilight knew he wouldn’t. He preferred it this way. Any excuse to fluster her with his invasion of personal space. Still, Twilight didn’t mention it. To bring it up might mean she wanted him to stop.
But Twilight tried to focus on her questions, they were the logical thing to be discussing with him, they were important and fascinating. Well, fascinating whenever he actually managed to answer them in a straightforward way.
“Alright, I’ve been thinking about here,” Twilight indicated a passage on the opposite page to the picture, all too keenly aware of the proximity of his cheek to hers. “When it mentions how you both decided to take on physical forms similar to that of mortal ponies.”
“And where I ended up being the much more original and creative one in my designing of a body?” he said. “I mean, who wants just one horn or wings that match?”
“Well, I was thinking about how you created your forms, but then I considered… what were you before? You once mentioned - and the book backs it up - that the other two spirit beings don’t have permanent forms. What do they look like, then? What did you look like before this? Were you just a floating ball or… a soul?”
Discord appeared to contemplate her question, ones of his own clearly forming in his mind as well.
“It’s… hard to describe. We certainly had a consciousness and a presence, but then of course we have those now as well. I don’t know if we’d put the term 'soul' onto it. That tends to be a pony idea.”
“It certainly sounds like a soul to me,” said Twilight. “Actually that’s even more interesting. There are portions of the pony population that believe a pony’s soul comes to live inside a body. It sounds like you two did the opposite. You weren’t bodies that obtained souls, you were souls that created bodies.”
“So we already had them?”
“Or you already were them. It’s the closest thing I can conceive as far as an explanation or an answer. I still don’t really know what you would have looked like though.”
“But if you believe in souls, and you believe that every pony has one including yourself, is there a reason you haven’t seen one?”
That question was trickier for Twilight to answer. “It’s not as if ponies can access them when they’re inhabiting their bodies, Discord. I--- I don’t believe that the soul is an actual, physical part of my body. If you created your own body, then you wouldn’t have needed to create a soul since you were - in essence - one already.”
“But where is it, then? Where did it go?”
“It didn’t go anywhere, like I said, it’s not a physical---” she halted, uncertain how she should continue, then gave an understanding chuckle. “Heh, I guess it is hard to explain.”
“Mythologically or spiritually speaking, it’s the part of you that truly makes up you. The one part of you that can’t be destroyed even if your body dies. In essence, the soul is your true being, and you’re just living within a body that acts more as a home for it. This--” she glanced away from his gaze to indicate the body he had so very intentionally enclosed around her “--isn’t your true form, just like this isn’t mine.” Twilight pointed at herself, referring to her own body and bringing her eyes back to meet his. He had probably not been looking down at the book this entire time.
“And you truly believe that every pony has one?”
“Well, whether or not the soul exists is a point of contention, and some even say that no pony is born with one and one is earned in a sense… but honestly, yes I do. There has to be a reason and explanation for why each pony is the way he or she is, and why we are able to introspect and wonder about ourselves and the world. The part of us that drives us - our dreams, our hopes, our desires - and the connections we have to the physical and spiritual or magical parts of the world… that has to come from somewhere. If not a physical place inside us, why not a metaphysical one?”
“And what if I don't have one?”
“Of course you do.”
“What if you're wrong? What if I don't believe I have one.”
“That's irrelevant, because you do. There's proof.”
“What, because I can think and act for myself and - what did you say – introspect?”
Part of Twilight assumed he was just egging her on to fluster her even more, but another part of her wondered if he really, truly didn't believe he had a soul. Her heart sank at the prospect, and Twilight stared him straight in the face, all playfulness banished.
“Discord, you have a soul. There's no way you couldn't. You don't just think about yourself but you think of others, you don't just introspect but you strive to improve. Soulless creatures don't do that. They don't change because they don't understand the concept.”
She held her hoof out and placed it over his heart, holding his gaze to ensure he understood.
“I don't know exactly how I know it, and I can't provide physical evidence, but there's no way you can convince me that you don't have one, because it is the best part of you.”
He seemed a bit taken aback by her seriousness, but he recovered by taking hold of the hoof that still touched his chest, gazing down at her with his intensely colorful eyes.
“If you say it is, then it must be,” he answered, and soon the air between them grew dense with an almost magnetic pull. It charged the minute space until there was no other option left to them but to close the gap.
Kissing Discord was an experience that Twilight could not put into words, that she couldn't compare to any other sensation she had experienced other than the other instances of kissing Discord. The pull this time had been nearly visibly tangible, and the release she felt when her lips met his was so sweet that she never wanted it to end. And from the way Discord's mismatched limbs wandered from her hooves up her back to tangle back into her mane she got the impression that he didn't want it to stop, either.
It was that same wave of endorphins that suddenly reminded her of a different, much murkier ocean of sensations. Her mind snapped back to her horn, which Discord was inching his way towards with his wandering fingers.
Very reluctantly, she broke them apart, lifting her hoof to ease him away from her, but as she managed the gesture, Discord's claw grazed her horn, and the ringing began again, so loud that it hurt her ears and she was surprised that he couldn't see her head vibrating.
Mumbling a quick apology, Twilight made for the room across the hall – the one that was hers now – and there she found a mirror on the dresser. She saw the edges of her concealment spell fraying, revealing the still-blackened horn beneath, and she swiftly yet carefully recast it, making it stronger than the last time. Phew, that was a close one. She certainly didn't think that Discord had seen, or at least she hoped.
She heard a knock at the door, and Twilight was relieved to see that Discord was allowing her privacy instead of simply popping into the room.
“Everything alright in there?”
“Yes---yes, I'm fine. I just--- got tired all of a sudden,” she answered him through the door. “I'm going to sleep here tonight, if that's alright. Thank you again for the room, and the library, and well, everything.”
It didn't sound entirely convincing to Twilight's ears, but it seemed to satisfy him enough that he left her alone for the rest of the night. A night that had nearly been perfect, but that Twilight now spent the latter half of fretting over what sort of conversation they might have in the morning.
It had been a successful day, in more ways than one. It was strange for Discord to see Twilight enjoying herself by using the chaos magic – her chaos magic - after so long of fearing and holding it back. Once she had let herself go it seemed she was a natural.
Then when they had returned to his home and she had seen his surprise, the look on her face made all the effort worth it.
Yes, it had been a nearly perfect day, perfect that was, except for what happened to Twilight after their chaos lesson.
She had denied it, tried to conceal it, but it didn't change the fact that Discord had seen it. The chaos magic had left a mark on her, and even if she claimed it didn't hurt her, it was something that he had done indirectly to her. Was that the reason why she had pulled away from him so suddenly? Had it really harmed her and she was just trying to spare his feelings?
Discord stayed outside her door for far longer than he let on, long enough it seemed for Twilight find her way to the bed. He peeked in on her and saw her bundled up under the covers of her new canopy bed.
Seeing that she was safely asleep – or at least in bed – Discord popped back to his own room and decided he might go ahead and sleep as well.
Or at least try to. Discord found himself staring up at the ceiling of his room, popping from one of his beds to the next (so sometimes staring down at the floor from his ceiling bed) unable to find a comfortable spot to get some rest.
The time would soon be coming to begin giving Twilight more of his power, especially since she had begun to make progress with the magic she already possessed.
It wasn't that he did not have confidence in her that she could handle it, he only had this nagging sense of worry that she might need more time than she thought they did.
Twilight wanted to do it all at once,when Discord was still feeling reluctant to give away any more of the power at all. If she truly believed that she could handle it and if it really wasn't affecting her in as detrimental a way as he suspected, then there should be no other causes for concern about just handing it all over, right?
His worry for Twilight's well-being was one concern, but he had yet another. One that he hadn't mentioned to her and doubted very much that he would.
Once he had given her all of his power, what would become of him? Would he still be himself, still the old (but not pre-redemption) Discord that his friends had come to know, that Twilight loved? Personality-wise, he couldn't imagine a time when he wouldn't be himself, but he still wondered... his power had been all he'd ever known, and for a time it was his only companion, a constant in the makeup that was Discord, spirit of chaos. The question now had become; who was Discord without his chaos?
He assumed that he would still have some sort of magic, but Discord wondered if he would even be able to exist still in this form. Would he still have the power to retain it?
There had been something else Mort had said to him when he gave his warning about Discord's influence on this plane. Something about 'running out the clock' on this form. He didn't want to believe that ol' Morty could be right about yet another thing he himself had not thought of, but he couldn't deny since - he had been right about something - he could have been right about this as well.
Popping from his ceiling bed to his floating waterbed, Discord continued to ponder, but tried to give himself some hope. If Twilight did gain all of his power, perhaps she could give him help with keeping this form. Perhaps all of this would work out for the best. There was still a chance, and he held onto that thought as his eyes closed for the dozenth time that night. He wouldn't betray his worries to Twilight, for she had enough to focus on. He would continue to hang onto that strand of hope, and trust that it would lead him to a happy ending.