//------------------------------// // Phase 2: Revelations // Story: Human in Equestria Department // by AzelTheMantis //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash didn't know why but she felt compelled to head over to Canterlot. Lazily, she trotted out of the Sugarcube Corner, holding the card Agent M gave her. His words about an awesome job he offered echoed in her mind. Normally, she would've dismissed such a business proposal as some prank but somehow, she had a feeling inside that she needed to make sure he wasn't pulling her hind legs. Whatever M did, he succeeded in making her interested. "Hey! Rainbow Dash!" the cyan pegasus heard a familiar voice call out in the distance. Floating a few feet above the ground, she turned to face the speaker. An orange mare galloped towards her. From the expression on her face, it was easy to figure out that Applejack was worried about something. Within seconds, Rainbow Dash found herself face to face with her friend. "What's the matter? You look more worried than usual", Rainbow Dash chuckled. "Worried? Why wouldn't we be?" Applejack replied in a serious tone, "You went away without sayin' anything. We've been searchin' all day for you", she added, placing her front hooves on the pegasus' shoulders. "All day? What'd you mean all day?" Rainbow Dash inquired, genuinely puzzled by Applejack's gestures. "We were talkin' about somethin' in the library, though I don't remember what it was about, and you just disappeared from sight. We almost alerted Princess Celestia too", Applejack said. Her voice was trembling from the fear that they might have lost her. "Wha-at? Calm down, AJ", Rainbow Dash said, smiling nervously, "I'm not sure what the hay happened either but I'm here, right?" "Yeah...I guess you're right", Applejack calmed down a bit, "Come on, we should tell the others", she instantly grabbed Rainbow Dash's hoof. However, to her surprise, Rainbow Dash resisted a bit and pulled herself away, "What's wrong?" Applejack inquired. "I-I..It's just that I have something to do", Rainbow Dash turned her head away; glancing at the card she held in her other hoof. "What? There's nothin' more important than letting your friends know you're alright, is there?" Applejack asked, completely taken aback by Rainbow Dash's answer. "Yes...I mean no...I mean...I have to go", Rainbow Dash stuttered before she darted out of sight within mere milli-seconds, leaving a stunned Applejack standing alone. A minute later, in Canterlot The Town Square was bustling as always. Ponies of different classes were mingling here and there while the store-owners were making sure they got a clean sale at the end of the day. One of these owners was a stallion named Joe. He ran a donut shop and was also a good friend of Twilight and Spike while they were in Canterlot. Two pairs of cyan hooves touched down in front of the store, catching the attention of Joe who greeted the supposed-customer with a warm smile. "Hello there, Miss Dash I presume. What can I get you?" Joe quickly said before Rainbow Dash could say anything. "Uhhh...I've got this card...And I'm pretty sure it isn't some fancy coupon", Rainbow Dash replied, awkwardly holding the card out. "Backdoor", Joe simply replied, pointing to a wooden door behind him, "You want some drinks?" "Eh...I'll pass", Rainbow Dash smiled nervously as she headed towards the backdoor. She turned the door knob, opening it and to her surprise, found herself inside an elevator of sorts. The elevator slowly took her deeper into the ground. Rainbow Dash was a bit freaked out by the way the transport moved since she had no idea where the hell it was taking her. All she had expected was she'd meet M again in the donut shop and be briefed about the awesome job he talked about. After a short while, the elevator door opened, revealing a concrete hallway, closely resembling one that would be present in some commercial building or something. "Came here for the job?" she heard a voice ask as she stepped out of the elevator. "Uh...I guess", Rainbow Dash shrugged. She looked up and saw a small speaker on the ceiling. "Third door to your left", the voice instructed. Without another word, the rainbow-maned pegasus trotted towards the door. She had at least expected some fireworks or flashy displays or something as she was promised an awesome job but the whole corporate atmosphere was really letting her down. The third door was left wide open and slowly, she peered inside. There were other ponies too : one earth pony, three unicorns and a pegasus. "Umm...excuse me..." she stood at the entrance, trying not to act rude, "Uh...I'm here for the job", she said politely (in Rainbow Dash standards of course) before she noticed M standing with another pony wearing a suit, "You!", she exclaimed, pointing at the stallion. "Good, you're finally here", M said, sporting his signature stern look. "What's this all about?" Rainbow Dash asked as she took a seat near the other "candidates". "Excuse me, if I may", the pegasus stallion near her said before M could reply, "You're looking for the best of the best", he replied, standing up and buffing up for emphasis. "Best of the best my hoof", Rainbow Dash mumbled, unimpressed by the spiky-haired pegasus. "What was that, kid?" M asked, apparently catching what Rainbow Dash muttered. "Nothing. I just think it's dumb that he's trying to sound like some royal guard", Rainbow Dash smirked. "That's because he is a royal guard", M sighed while the others laughed. Rainbow Dash merely blushed in embarrassment and stared at the wall almost instantly. "Now, here's a list of questions", the unicorn standing next to M said, handing out some papers to the five seated ponies, "Fill those out and place them on the table when you're finished. We'll evaluate them and you'll hear the results from us shortly after". Rainbow Dash and the other candidates quickly jotted down the answers with the pens handed to them. The lime green unicorn was answering rather quickly while the white one was having a bit of trouble. An earth pony stallion with an hourglass cutie mark had no difficulty with it though the same couldn't be said for the two pegasi – Flash Sentry and Rainbow Dash. "Psst...what's a clause?", Rainbow Dash whispered to Flash. "I'll tell you if you tell me what a motherboard is", Flash whispered back. "I've no idea", Rainbow Dash shrugged. "Me neither", Flash chuckled. "Speak one more time and you're out", M interrupted the short conversation, causing the two pegasi to mumble some apologies. The next moment, another suited pony entered the room and whispered something into the ear of M who quickly left, much to the puzzlement of Rainbow Dash. "What is it?" M asked the mustached unicorn who was waiting for him outside. The unicorn had cyan fur and a red mane as well as a bullet cutie mark. "Are you sure she's the one? I think she looks like she won't be able to handle the job" the unicorn asked with a hint of skepticism as he stared at Rainbow Dash. "She outflew an F-4 Phantom...in an open field. Now tell me that's not tough enough, Glock", M defended the cyan pegasus. "Okay, but is she smart enough?" Glock smirked as the test instructor handed him the papers, "Let's check her answers, shall we?" he cleared his throat while shuffling through, "Aha! Question no. 2 : What is the past perfect form of the following – "I wrote"...she answered "I have wrotten"". "Come on, you weren't the brightest in your class either", M groaned. "Maybe you're right", Glock grinned before he moved onto another question, "Question no. 7: What comes after 3.1552656?...she answered "a question mark"". "Give me that", M grabbed the papers from Glock's hoof, "Just neuralyze them", he said. Before Glock could enter the room, an earth pony joined them, holding a clipboard in one hoof. "Hello there gentlecolts, is the test going as planned?", the mare asked. "Yes it is, Miss O. I take it the jets have been properly fueled and readied for take-off?" M asked the grey pony back. "Yes they are, Agent M" the mare giggled. "Thank you, Miss O" M nodded before he felt a slight nudge "Don't you have a test to attend to?" he asked Glock. "Keep up the good work, you lovebirds" Glock snickered, making M and O slightly blush. With that, Glock entered the room, making Rainbow Dash and the others shut up almost as soon as he stepped inside. Judging from the expressions on the faces of the candidates, they were quite intimidated by the mustached stallion. "What'd you think you did in your test?" Glock inquired the five ponies. "Easy", Lyra Heartstrings replied quickly. "That was a preposterous test, a complete waste of time if you ask me", Blueblood scowled. "Good, but I still don't know why I'm here", Time Turner gave a nervous chuckle. "It was a challenge to say the least", Flash Sentry smiled. "I'm never taking another test...ever", Rainbow Dash groaned. "Okayyyy...we have one last test to administer", Glock said in a cheerful voice, "An eye exam. Follow me", he signaled the group to follow him out. Though the others were enthusiastic and excited about the next "test", Rainbow Dash was down as hell. She began to question if the awesome job was even real let alone "awesome". If the test was any indication, the reward was probably gonna be nothing more than a boring corporate-level job. "Hold on there", M gently pulled her back before she could enter the next room. "What?" Rainbow Dash asked "Is that Octavia?" she added when she saw a familiar pony disappear behind the corner. The next moment, a flash of light covered the next room. Rainbow Dash narrowed her eyes, trying to figure what had happened. "You still want the job?" M inquired. "Look, thanks for the milkshake but I think I'll pass", Rainbow Dash smiled, preparing to leave any second. "Don't you even want to know what the job is?" M asked again. "Uh...whatever, I'm not interested anyway", Rainbow Dash replied with an indifferent expression. "We're the HiED, the Human in Equestria Department. We are a secret organization which monitors human and extra-terrestrial activity on Equestria", M answered. "Human?" Rainbow Dash asked, grinning, " They're all crazy", she thought when she heard the answer. "Bipedal, mentally-advanced primates from the other world. Most humans displaced here are turned to ponies using magic from a mirror so they can live honest lives and we are tasked with making sure they do that", M added. "Primates? Other world? Turned to ponies? Mirror?" Rainbow Dash was now laughing her hindquarters off inside. And to think, she almost got recruited to this circle of stupidity, "I think you should get your head examined", she chuckled. "I already took a CAT scan a month ago. Company policy", M replied, not amused one bit. "Yeahhhh...Thanks for the milkshake though", Rainbow Dash smirked, shaking her head as she went towards the elevator. She was till chuckling when the elevator doors opened, revealing a tall creature clad in military gear from head to toe and holding a gas mask in one hand. Rainbow Dash's jaw dropped as she stared at the strange bipedal being standing in front of her. "Oh, didn't see you there", the creature gave the dumbfounded pegasus a smile before it walked towards M, "So, my plane's okay?" he asked the earth pony. "Hangar no. 12. Miss O will be there with your flight", M nodded, watching the creature walk away before he turned his attention to the elevator which was now closed. "Will she be back?" Glock asked as he exited the room which housed the rest of the candidates. "She'll be back", M smirked, "She's got no choice". Fifteen minutes later, back in Ponyville A visibly puzzled and confused pegasus sat on a bench, just a few yards away from Rarity's Carousel Boutique. She had heard rumors about human existence once or twice before but she had never expected that it would be real. What if other mythical creatures and monsters really existed? What if the Slendermane was currently prowling around the Everfree Forest, looking for victims? What if The Krakken was released? What if giant floating foal heads really haunted the residents of the Tristable Area? Rainbow Dash had so many questions on her mind yet she didn't have any answers and it was driving her nuts. "Hey there, speedster", she heard M calling her. She smiled a little when the stallion sat next to her. "Hey..." Rainbow Dash sighed, "So, what exactly do you guys do?" she asked after a few seconds of hesitation. "Everything I told you. However, as field agent, I have an extra duty of rounding up humans who fail to comply to our rules, either before they're ponyfied or after. We have to prevent them from revealing the existence of humans", M replied. "What for? Ponies are smart, they can handle it", Rainbow Dash asked. "No, a pony is smart. The opposite applies for the plural. They are dumb, panicky and dangerous and you know that", M countered. "I guess you're right", Rainbow Dash gave in, "What'd I have to do if I accept the offer then?" "To be a permanent part of the HiED, you must leave behind everything you have and know. You'll have no family, no friends, and no contacts outside of the company. In short, nopony will know you ever existed", M let out a sigh when he finished. "Wait a minute...that's the price?" she exclaimed, shocked at the knowledge that some ponies would actually make that sacrifice, "I-I'm sorry, I can't do this. I've too much to lose", she promptly stood up. "We all had, speedster", M lowered his head. "Did...did...you..um..lose..much?", Rainbow Dash nervously asked. "We could make an exception for you though. We did it to an agent once", M quickly changed the subject before the pegasus could ask him an even more personal question. "Huh? Really?" Rainbow Dash's face lit up. "The same deal, except it's temporary. Your tenure will be short and you will be neuralyzed as soon as you're not needed", M replied. "I just want the experience. I don't really plan on working for too long", Rainbow Dash smirked. "You have no idea what neuralyzers are, do you?" M chuckled as he got up. "The flashy thing from that other room? Wait...did you flashy thing me before?" Rainbow Dash asked. "Come by tomorrow morning if you don't change your mind", M added, trotting away from the bench and towards the train station. "Hey M! I'm serious! Have you ever flashy thing-ed me!?" Rainbow Dash yelled.