//------------------------------// // Third Case - Bonjour! // Story: On the Corner of Straight and Narrow // by Tatsurou //------------------------------// "Higher!" Trixie yelled out. "Higher!" "You heard the lady!" Max told Sam as he caught Trixie as she came down. "Higher!" Sam caught Max as he came down. "Good news, little buddies. I think I just gave birth to a bouncing baby hernia." The three of them were playing a new game Trixie had decided on. She had fun pretending to fly by having Max throw her into the air, and she thought it would be even more fun if she got more altitude by having Sam throw Max into the air before Max threw her. As she went up, Max came down and Sam caught him. Then Sam threw Max up to catch Trixie on her way down before catching both of them. She called it the Multi-Stage Rocket Game. As Sam threw Max up again, the phone rang. "I got it!" he called out, throwing Trixie forward. As Sam ran forward, Trixie came down on the phone, sending the handset flipping up into the air where Sam caught it. "Hello? Yes commissioner? Holy cap wearing catfish flopping on a crime beat! We're on our way!" He then hung up the phone. "So...does that count as Trixie getting the phone or Uncle Sam getting it?" Trixie asked. "We'll figure that out later, Trixie! We've got a case!" Sam proclaimed. "We're after the most infamous organized crime outfit in the city, the Toy Mafia." "The cutthroat killers with no respect for human life but an odd predilection for delightful children's toys?" Max asked. "The same," Sam confirmed. "They sound like Daddy," Trixie pointed out. "Yeah, I'd fit right in with them!" Max proclaimed. "That will be useful, as we're heading out to assist an undercover mole out of their secret headquarters: Ted. E Bear's Mafia Free Toyland and Casino." Trixie stared at Sam. "...how long did it take the regular police to figure out that was their hideout?" Sam shrugged. "About three months." Trixie sighed, rolling her eyes. "Now I know why we get all the cases. Can we stop by Bosco's first? He'll probably have something useful, and I wanna see what funny accent he has today." "I know!" Max said happily. "Those are always so amusing! Remember last week, when he was convinced the Department of Homeland Security was after him, so he disguised himself as an Arabic Muslim?" "That one kind of backfired on him, I think," Sam commented dryly. "I think when he thought the Trekkies were after him and disguised himself as a Klingon to 'blend in' was more fun," Trixie pointed out. "So many sharp, pointy bits in the store..." "You know, you're right," Sam agreed. "We owe it to ourselves to see who is after Bosco today, and what crazy costume he's come up with to try and hide from them." "Do you think he realizes that hiding doesn't work very well if you don't move to a different location?" Max asked. The three glanced at each other for a time. "Let's not tell him," Sam whispered conspiratorially, setting Trixie to giggling. "So how are we supposed to recognize the mole?" Max asked. "He'll be short, rotund, and stink of dirt?" Trixie suggested. "Actually, it's a code phrase," Sam pointed out. "We're supposed to ask, 'Does the carpet match the drapes?' Then the mole will reply, 'Well I never!' and slap us." Trixie tilted her head. "So...the mole's male, right? Cause after all the TV Daddy and I have watched, I can't help but think any female we ask that of will respond that way, mole or not." "Yes, the mole is male," Sam confirmed. Trixie turned to Max. "How does Uncle Sam get so much information from such a short phone call?" "No idea," Max replied. As they entered Bosco's Inconvenience, Sam and Max greeted him. "Hey Bosco!" Sam said cordially. "Nice Flapjack!" Max agreed. "Son of Cordon Bleu!" Bosco replied. "Who is this Bosco?" Before he could say more, Trixie pointed her gun at him and cocked it. "I surrender!" Bosco cried, throwing his hands up into the air. "Wow," Trixie commented. "Really good French disguise there. So who are you today?" "I am Jean Francois Sissypants, the cowardly French Anarchist!" Bosco proclaimed. Trixie stifled her snickers at his choice of name. "So Bosco, why'd you get Frenchified?" Sam asked. "Zey saw through all my previous disguises!" he proclaimed. "I don't know how zey did it, but zey found me!" "Who?" Max asked. "The mafia! The Toy Mafia! They've got it in for me!" Trixie raised an eyebrow. "You mean the group we're likely to be completely obliterating before the day is out since they're the focus of our latest case?" she asked. "Mes sauveurs!" Bosco proclaimed happily. "Have candy, my good mare!" Leaning over, he gave her a chocolate truffle. Trixie eagerly bit into the chocolate candy, enjoying the taste as Sam and Max discussed with Bosco exactly what the Toy Mafia was intending. Again, she didn't pay attention, because honestly she was pretty sure the casino that was their base would be a crater before the day was out. That's just how things went when her Daddy and Uncle were involved. She finished her treat in time to hear Sam ask Bosco what was for sale. "Oo la la! Behind ze counter I have ze latest in Bosco-tech innovation! A device non-pareil-au-chocolat!" "Sounds delicious," Trixie commented. "Non!" Bosco countered. "It is not edible! Well, it is, but you should not eat it. This I call a miniature listening device! It can fit in any cravat, under any chapeau!" "How much?" Trixie asked. "You don't even know if we need it, Trixie," Sam pointed out. "Trixie has money burning a hole in her hat, and it's getting kind of heavy," Trixie pointed out. "Besides, Trixie likes buying stuff from Bosco." "Ze price is...ten million dollars!" Bosco proclaimed. Trixie pulled a suitcase out of her hat and popped it open, revealing stacks of banded $100 bills. "Here you go!" she proclaimed. Bosco examined the money briefly, confirming that all 10 million was there. "Mon dieu! How is it you have so much cash so readily?" "Trixie played gooder on White Collar Boulevard," Trixie replied. "Lots of people driving by gave Trixie money." "Amazing!" Max marveled. "Very well then!" Bosco stated. "In return I give you...ze miniature listening device!" He placed a cockroach on the counter which skittered forward towards them. "This is a bug," Sam pointed out. "Precisement!" Bosco agreed. "Trixie wants to call him Mister Squishy!" Trixie pointed out. "And just what makes you think a military veteran like me is going to take such disrespect from you, maggot?" the bug demanded in a gruff, drill sergeant like voice. "Because that's the noise you'll be making if you disrespect your new commanding officer again!" Trixie barked back. "Yes sir, General Trixie ma'am!" the bug proclaimed. "What is my base of operations?" "In here," Trixie dictated, holding out her hat. "Sir yes ma'am!" Mr. Squishy proclaimed, diving into the hat. Trixie put her hat back on. "So now we go blow up the casino?" "Yes!" Max proclaimed happily. "No!" Sam countered. "We go to rescue the commissioner's mole." "...and then we blow the place up?" Trixie offered. "Yes!" Max proclaimed. Sam wavered for a time. "Sure, why not?" he finally relented. "Let's go, little buddies!" "Have fun storming ze casino!" Bosco called after them, waving happily.