//------------------------------//
// Chapter 2: A deal with the insane one.  
// Story: TCB: It's Zero Turn 
// by BronyofMeddlers 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 2: A deal with the insane one.


five months later...

In the bank of Your Momma of New York City, on a sunny afternoon, it exploded outwards thanks to a bomb made of sticky combustion foam. Some people screamed inside as a few troops enter in with submachine guns. "Alright people, you know the drill, get down, don't call the cops, and we all go home to have some pie." shouted a guy wearing the colors of white and dark blue. He moved up to the cashier. "Hey Jane, how's the kids?" 

"They're fine. Don't go shooting up the money now!" said the woman named Jane. 

The spokeperson shrugged. "Eh, we can't be thieves if we ruined the money, so how's the ponies been treating your part of town?" asked the guy as Jane opened the vault for the gang members as they took a portion of the money inside the thing. "Well that serum thing is the real deal, just wished that the natives watch where they trot."

"Tell me about it, the boss asked us to watch out for those ponies in case they screwed us up." replied the dude, however as the money was gone, the entire building heard the sirens. The spokeperson turned to Jane with a disappointing look. "Jane, why is there police sirens?" she shrugged helplessly. "The company wanted a better defense system."

"Alright Zero we know you're there, come on out." said a familiar voice, and suddenly Zero popped out from the hole in the wall with a surprised look on his expression. "What!" he said as he moved to Jane. "Hey Jane, need to use you as a hostage!" he said as he grabbed her, pull a Eagle from behind his back as he moved to the front, and lo behold he saw Z. 

"Damn it Z! I thought I told you guys New York is my city! Go back to Vikings land!" shouted Zero. 

Z grabbed one of the cop's loudspeakers shouting, "For your information, it's Timberwolves Territory!"

"Tomato, tomoto! You haven't answered the question! What. In the Hell. Are you doing. IN MY CITY?" Shouted Zero, he turned Jane with a sorry look. "Sorry, but that ginger head lives in MN, and he ain't suppose to be here." Jane shrugged. "As long as I get home to my kids, I don't care." she replied to him, he nodded his head and turned to Z. 

"WELL? What's you're excuse this time?" he asked.

"I'm trying to do hero work around the country," he said while giving a shrug. "Unfortunately for you, that means no place is off limits." Zero groaned of the hero stupidity that was around Z. "Oh come on! I have to deal with those pesky ponies as well as my usual shtick! Can you cut me some slack?" he asked, his comms ring as he heard the voice of Petro. "We're all gone boss, you're the last. But you better hurry, pegasus are coming your way." Zero sighed.

I really hate those ponies now. Always ruining my fun. thought Zero as he spoke again. "Look Z, can you cut me some slack? I'm on a time limit here, and I have to go somewhere ]really important, like going to a certain place where we play a certain card game." said Zero.

Z had been gripping his sword this whole time, expecting a fight. But, somewhere in the middle of it all, he had loosened his grip on his blade's hilt. "Hold up," he said after completely letting go. "You're having trouble with ponies?"

"No really? Haven't you seen the news? Unicorns control magic! Which means runes of stopping some of my heist! Not to mention flying pegasus always watching where we go! And don't get me started on the bloody earth ponies! I've been losing money for these past months! This is the third attempt of stealing a bank in this area! I had to go back to my legal system!" a cop muttered to another. "He had a legal system?" 

Suddenly, Z's stern, young face turned into the face of someone who was just about to break out laughing.

"Damn it Z! This is not the time to laugh at me, those bloody ponies are coming here, it's gotten worse! Some of them join the force! Do you know how hard it is for me now? It's isn't easy finding any dirt on them!"

Suddenly, he turned to full blown laughter. "I dunno," he managed to say. "If you look under their hooves, you might find something!" He would have been hunched over had some cops not helped him keep his stability. "Oh fuck you Z!" He turned to Jane. "Sorry about this, but I'm really in a tight limit, cookies later?" he asked. "Sure, have fun." she said with a smile, Zero groaned. "Don't even start." he said as he threw her at the cops. "So long suckers!" he said as he dashed away. 

Some cops were fortunately able to catch Jane as Z looked up. "Hey! I'm not done laughing at you yet!" He pulled out his sword and used his magic to float into the air and dash after Zero in a fast paced chase.

Zero turned to see some ponies catching up, but run even faster. "There's only two people that's allowed to catch me, and last I check none of you have hooters the size of melons, and aren't married to me!" shouted the thief as he threw smoke bombs at them all, run through an alley and use more bombs to enter in the sewer system.

Z landed next to the sewer system as the smoke cleared. "Into the sewers, Zero? Could you be anymore obvious?" He turned later to see some of the ponies walk up. "Uh... no way," he said with obvious disbelief. There were three of them, all in sets of light armor, with runes on each part of the armor, they were all buff, with a serious look on their expression, and weren't the standard guards. They were all pegasus. "I am Commander Stormcloud, part of the Exchange program between Earth and Equestria, did that thief got away?" asked the stallion as he introduce himself, the other two behind him were mares. 

They all had white coats, yellow mane color, and blue eyes. This was the standards colors of wearing their uniforms. 

Z had almost forgotten Zero for a second. "Zero, right... he probably did, but pretty obviously went into the sewers."  They don't even look like ponies,  Z thought.  They look more like chibi Pokemon chewed up and with weird peg-legs placed on them than ponies.  Z clearly had no idea what he was looking at, and it was pretty clear Zero was now the last thing on his mind. What was? Just what the hell was he looking at?

Stormcloud turned to the left side mare. "Tell the human chief that the thief got away," he turned to the right side. "Send a message to the Princess, tell her the leader of the 28 Skulls has escaped, again." they both saluted and fly away, the stallion turned to the hero as he spoke. "This thief spoke to you as if you knew him, did you?" he asked in a neutral tone. 

"Oh yeah," he said with a surprised tone that started to turn sarcastic. "Gooood friend of mine." He shook his head lightly in an attempt to get a serious face back onto him. "Me and a superhero team of mine have stopped his antics once or twice." the stallion nodded his head, he then flapped his wings and fly away back to the scene of the crime. 

"Hey, wait!" Z considered flying after them, but remembered Zero running. Though by this point, he figured, he's probably long gone. Even if he DID go through the sewer system, he also had  other  means of escaping that he couldn't counter yet. He decided to follow the... whatever those were. "This day just keeps getting stranger and stranger," he mumbled to himself.

***

Meanwhile in Equestria...

"So he got away again?" asked Celestia, a royal guard nodded his head. "Yes your majesty, even though we successfully manage to stop some of his heist, we haven't release his grip on the entire city." responded the guard, she sighed as she looks over the report, then notice something odd. "Am I reading this correctly? a human floated in the air with his sword? I thought this world didn't had any magic at all?" she said to herself. 

"Guard, do we have any information on the human named 'Z'?" she asked, the royal guard shook his head. "No ma'am. We do know that a company works well with the hero business, it's called Neiltech, and it's in a state called Minnesota ma'am." Celestia pondered for a moment. Perhaps this Neiltech may able to help me with my 'problem'. 

"Guard get me a chariot ready." she ordered the guard, he saluted. "Yes ma'am, where to?"

"Minnesota."

***

"Okay Z, so remember when I said that we have to be prepared about those ponies?" asked Nemo as he tapped his finger on the table looking at Z, who got back from New York City. 

"I didn't think they'd actually BE ponies," he said in a defensive tone. "I'm still not sure that's what they even are!" Nemo sighed. "Look Z, we underestimate a alien species before, and look what happen. We got our asses kicked, even though they don't look like a threat, we have to treat them with caution." told Nemo.

Z groaned. "I know they can fly, and I know SOME of them have magic. Just... why ponies? Seriously!"

"I have no idea Z..." replied Nemo, however his phone ranged. "Yes, what is it?" Nemo asked as he press the phone button to hear the secretary speaking to him. "Um, Mr. Nemo sir? There is a highly ranking being in the entrance, she's requesting your time sir." said the woman. 

"Highly ranked being?" Z pondered.

"Send her up," Nemo responded, as soon as he spoke the door open to reveal two golden armor pony guards, who were unicorns, entering in, behind them was a tall pony. The pony was Princess Celestia, she wore her usual stuff, gold, wavy rainbow hair, and small smile on her face, she moved up to the two with a sight bow to Nemo. "Mr. Nemo of Neiltech I presume?" she asked in a well-manner tone. 

Nemo gulped. No wonder my secretary worded her arrival so weirdly, this pony looked not only larger but also incredibly powerful!"Yes," he said trying to gain composure. "That's me. And this is my colleague, Z. And you, Miss...?" 

"Celestia, Princess Celestia of the co-ruling nation of Equestria from beyond the barrier. The reasons I am here is quite simple, I need your aid." she said plainly, but getting right to the point. 

"You do? Well, fair enough," Nemo responded, "though how would we be able to help?" Celestia turned to her guard with a look, the guard handed her a file she grabbed it with her glowing horn and place it on Nemo desk. "Forgive me for asking, but does the name 28 Skulls mean anything to you, or to your colleague?" she asked. 

The two looked at each other, acting like they simultaneously got a headache. "Yes," Nemo said, "unfortunately." She nodded her head. "Alright then, the reason I'm asking aid is because they've been terrorizing my nation for some time. Inside the barrier." she said. 

"That's impossible," Nemo said confusedly. "Zero's a human. All of the 28 Skulls are humans!" Celestia head nodded in agreement. "Correct, however just because people can't get in, doesn't mean influence and information can't. They've been a thorn on both my side, and of my sister. We've been trying to get to the source, which is New York. But you know how well that is working." she explained to them. 

"Don't be too hard on yourselves," Nemo replied. "We've been trying to rat him out of New York too. But lemme try and guess," he said, clearing his throat. "You want our forces to join together and capture Zero?" 

Celestia nodded her head. "Not only that, but I am hoping to gather some information, because none of my ponies were able to capture him, even chasing him is a failure. However from what I can gather someone had managed to capture this infamous human, and I was hoping you, or your team were the ones who done it. If so, then I would greatly appreciate anything that could be of use to us." she said. 

"Well," Z chimed in, "yes and no. We HAVE assisted in capturing this guy before, but the main lady who actually captured Zero is actually a close friend of ours." Celestia raise an eyebrow. "Really? Perhaps you could ask for her aid in getting this person? If we capture this criminal, then the ones in Equestria will eventually give up and the 28 Skulls will be broken at last." Celestia told them.

"I don't see why we can't," Nemo said. "The hard part would be keeping him locked up."

Celestia looked confused. "What do you mean? He doesn't have any magic nor special abilities that we know of, how can he be so problematic?" she asked. Nemo sighed. "It's best to ask Tomo about that." 

***

2 hours later.

"Nemo, what the hell?" said Tomo as she saw the sight before her, there was literally a pony outside of her door, with both Nemo and Z by this Princess. 

"This, uh... is Princess Celestia," he replied. "She wants us to capture the 28 Skulls." Tomo just looked at him, then Celestia, then back at him again asking this question. "Nemo, are you finally on drugs? Because I swear you are."

"No, this isn't a drug hallucination," Z said, "cause that would mean you'd have to have smoked something too."

She sighed. "Damn it," Tomo muttered to herself, she looked at Celestia. "Before I say anything, would you at least tell me why we should capture them all?" she asked, Celestia nodded her head as she spoke.

"The 28 Skulls influence had spread across me and my sister nation, they steal anything, from highly value vases to simple food. They also robbed banks, forced my guards to spend their time in the wrong place, and they don't care who they steal from." said Celestia. Tomo shrugged. "So they're copying Zero? They don't sound like that serious of a threat."

"All members in the nation eat everypony, doesn't matter if they eat mares, stallions, even foals aren't safe from their sick appetite. They all must be stopped." added Celestia.

Tomo fell silent. She pondered something for a second, then looked back at Celestia. "Come inside. We can discuss our plans," she said as she pushed the door open for them. As the three of them enter in she closed the door and moved to the kitchen area, she sat in the wooden chair, the two guys enter in the other chairs, while Celestia just sat on the floor. Tomo breathes in and out as she spoke. 

"Okay. I assume you have an idea of what to do already?"

Celestia nodded her head. "Base from the reports of past heist, this Zero has an affection of stealing big things, and sometimes love to make a big deal to his enemies, which are the cops. So I will 'introduce' the prize possession of Equestria, an ancient weapon from three thousand years ago, however it's a fake and enchanted with a stun rune, so when he touches it, it will freeze him. However if that fails, there is a tracking rune on it, we follow the rune, and we'll find his den of thieves." explained Celestia. 

"Won't do any good," she said. "Zero's not dumb enough to fall for the same trick twice." Celestia was surprised by this. "I assumed you done it as well?" Celestia asked. 

Tomo nodded. "Very early on in my career in New York. He knows to make sure the artifact is fake now, and the next time I tried it, I DID place a tracking device on the object... he found that."

"Is there another option on how to get him? Or better yet a way to stop this menace?" asked Celestia in a pleading manner.

"There is," she admitted, "but you aren't gonna like it."

***

Ding dong!

"I can't believe we're doing this." told Z, Tomo hushed him. 

"I got this, and Celestia? Please for the love of God, let me do the talking." told Tomo, the four of them were at a island just by New York, on the outside it was just a small mountain. But it was the home of the infamous underworld ruler of New York City. Before them was a tall metal door with a slide to show only the eyes, and a voice box to allowed Zero voice to be heard. "If you're with those Witness folks, then get out before I sick my Komodo Dragon on your asses, if your with the the FBI or CIA, then get out before I beat you with my tiger. If your pesky hero number 34234, then fuck off! I got baking to do!" shouted Zero.

"None of the above, Zero," Tomo shouted back. "It's just me!"

"Oh Tomo! I wasn't expecting you!  You should of given me call, otherwise I would of bomb you by accident. Hang on a moment, I got my heat seeking cupcakes aim right at you." said Zero, Celestia whisper to Tomo. "Is he serious? Heat seeking cupcakes? Why is he using harmless bakery food as weapons?" she asked. 

"Reason number 2 why I don't think your '28 Skulls' get Zero," Tomo replied as she waited.

The door opens wide as Zero stands before them wearing a badly stitched up robe of different colors, his 'I am the Boss' cap, a wooden cane, and fuzzy slippers. "Honestly Tomo you should of given..me...." he stopped talking as he saw both Z and Celestia at his door step, a second later he slammed the door, activated his defenses as weapons surrounded them, including a large fruitcake hanging above their heads.

"Oh, c'mon, Zero," Tomo shouted. "Stop being such a baby."

"Tomo, I swear if I wasn't insane, I would of called you as such! I mean what the fuck? What the actual fuck Tomo! There is no way I'll be out there with that sun-raiser out of my doorstep. What you are asking for is bloody suicide! There is no way I'll let her, or hero boy in my home. My fortress, my sanctuary, my only place to get kinky!"

"Too much information, Zero," Tomo shouted.

"But Zero," Z joined, "this isn't us trying to capture you! We need your help!"

"And I'm the Pope of the Catholic and Italy churches! Now Tomo may be believable about asking for help, but there is no way Z or Nemo would ask for it, especially that pony by you! Now leave! Otherwise I'll send in the pies! OF DOOM!" told Zero in a loud tone. 

"Look, if it wasn't for Tomo, we'd be attacking by now!" Z said.

Tomo hit his shoulder. "Shut it Z!" hissed Tomo, Celestia whisper to her. "Are you sure it is wise to trust him? We could just force our way in and take him." suggested Celestia.

"An uncooperative team is a doomed team," Tomo told her. "Well what if we told you that someone ELSE was calling themselves the 28 Skulls?" Tomo said in the speaker.

Soon the slider slowly opened as Zero unseen eyes glared at her. "Come again? I thought I heard you say something." said the thief. 

Z and Nemo began to worry to themselves. "Oh yes," she said. "In fact, they're the reason these ponies are chasing you to begin with."

Zero breaths in. "Alright here's the deal, no magic, no powers, no tech to overtake my palace. No enter in my vault, if I so much see you stray from the path, you're dead. Got it?" told Zero. 

"Got it," Tomo answered. "Let's go, you guys."

Nemo elbowed Celestia, "If this doesn't work out, you know how to fight?"

Princess Celestia snorted. "I may be a thousand year old, but I still know how to defend myself." she said, the weapons disappeared as the door opens with a scowling Zero. "Follow me." he said as he brings the four of them inside, there was a yellow line underneath them as Zero lead them, there were security cameras everywhere, and metals of wall surrounding them, he leaded them to a large room with leather couches surrounding a table of metal.

He sat down with his hands on his cane as he look at the four sitting across from him. "Start at the beginning." ordered Zero. 

Celestia explained the influence of the 28 Skulls in Equestria, the stealing, the tricking of the guards, she explained she first thought it was Zero, however her thoughts were wrong when she told him that they were eating ponies, innocent ponies. "WHAT! OH THOSE SONS OF DRAGONS WHORES!" shouted Zero as he began moving up and down across the table. "Oh when I get my hands on them, they're going to WISH they never used my gang name, use my influence!" While Zero was shouting and cursing Celestia whisper to Tomo.

"I thought his reaction would be...different." she said. 

"Most people think that," Tomo replied. 

After a minute Zero sat down. "Thank you for this information, but this doesn't explain why you come to me Tomo." he said.

"Our initial plan WAS to capture you and hurt their morale," Nemo said before being interrupted.

"A plan that wouldn't DO much," Tomo pointed out, "since you're practically an escape artist. But if they were inspired by you, maybe we could find use from you in bringing them down." However Zero sighed as he sat down.

"That's the problem, I never even spread my influence to Equestria." replied Zero.

"Word travels fast," pointed out Z. "Someone must have heard about you somehow and taken interest. You travel to a lot of places, given what you are."

Zero gave a 'hmm'."Hang on a moment." he said as he left the room, while he did Celestia turned to Tomo. "So why did you brought us here? Better yet why trust his words at all? He is a criminal after all." Celestia asked to Tomo. 

"I know Zero," Tomo replied. "And I've earned his trust. He's a man of his word, so I know he won't backstab us." Zero came back in. 

"Okay, good news I can help, mostly because they're giving me a bad name. Bad news? You won't like my idea, or my terms." told Zero as he sat down. 

"Do we ever?" Z replied sarcastically.

"I know a...way to get inside the barrier without hindering my...self. I won't say how, but trust me when I say this, I'm awesome."

Nemo gave an "Mmhm."

Z nearly jumped up. "You can get past the barrier?!"

"Impossible!" cried out Celestia, Tomo chuckled. 

"Not for him," she replied. "But where's the bad part?"

"Simple I use my 'method' go inside the barrier, thing is I don't want anyone to know about it. So you'll say that I'm a golem of sorts, sent out to do my master bidding and such. Now for my terms. I get all the stuff they stole," Celestia interrupted him. "WHAT?"

"No way," Z shouted, Tomo raising her arms to try and calm the both of them down.

"Beating one 28 Skulls gang to help another almost defeats the purpose," Tomo said.

Zero grinned at her. "Fine I get 80, she gets 20 percent."

"65, 35," Tomo responded.

Celestia whispered to Z. "What are they doing?" she asked. 

"Bartering?" Even Z wasn't sure.

"Crime doesn't pay so easily, especially with my expenses of stealing. 70-30." Zero told her.

A sigh came out of Tomo. "Fine." He nodded his head to her. "Good, second term. No one is to interfere on my searching for these impostors." 

"That's not so bad," Nemo shrugged.

"Third, I get to take pictures of your highly valuable artifacts in your secrets vaults, and that Tree of yours." added Zero. 

"Unacceptable!" told Celestia. 

"As long as you don't steal said artifacts later," Tomo responded.

"Okay, fourth I get to throw my pies at the nobles, and other beings I don't like over there." 

There was a collective facepalm (or facehoof) from the 4 heroes.

"Fifth, I get all their information in any location these impostors have, especially any deeds they acquired." 

"Sure," Tomo sighed. "Anything else?" Zero nodded his head as a large toothy grin appeared on his face. "Yes, I get to deal with these impostors any way I want. Either I get it, or get out." 

"I don't think I like the implication there," said Z.

Celestia however, understood what Zero meant. "Wait you don't mean," Zero interrupted her. "Not only did they used my name of the 28 Skulls, but they also use my diet as an excuse to pig out, not to mention they fucked with the laws of the underworld. So I must deal with them as such, again either I get it my way, or get out and deal with them your own."

Celestia looked at him with a disgust look. "You're a monster."

Zero grinned. "That's not the last time I heard such a wonderful complement." 

"Explain to me why we can't just turn into ponies and head in there ourselves," Nemo said. "It'd save us the trouble, and that magic DOES exist, right?" Zero sighed. "For a self proclaimed genius, your an idiot. We're going on their turf, they know the ins and out of Equestria underworld, we do not. Not to mention walking on hooves is harder than it looks. And we don't know what we'll turn into, beside I like being a cannibal, and I don't want to give that up so easily."

"How does their being fakes affect YOUR cannibalism?" asked Z, Celestia turned green as she tried very hard to not attack Zero right now.

"Think for a moment, I pride myself as a cannibal of criminals, when word gets out those fakers are eating civilians, how do you think it's going to affect me? All of the UnderEarth will hear about it, and my reputation will be spoiled, and trust me that's bad in the underworld. Think of it like finding out there's a corrupt hero you know for years. A lot of trust will be broken."

"This is for the best," Tomo added. "It would take too long for us to get used to being ponies. Plus, Zero's experience with underworld crime could come in handy when fighting these guys."

 Why do I feel disappointed not turning into one of... those things, somehow?  Z thought to himself.

"Do we have a deal you lot?" asked Zero as he reached out his hand.

Tomo nodded and reached over to shake it. "Fine. Sorry, Princess. This is the only way." said Tomo as she looked to Celestia.

Celestia sighed and shakes her head. "I know, but if I was to choose between the two evils, I would go to the lesser version, which I am sad to say is Zero right now." 

"Now get out! My girl is coming in any moment now, and I want you all to be gone!" told Zero as there was a hidden door trap under them. As they fell, there was a collective, "Dammit, Zero!" as he laughed like the mad man he was.