//------------------------------//
// The Mysterious Mare Do Well 
// Story: Spike's Journal 2 
// by WorkingClassWriter 
//------------------------------//

Spike's Journal 2
Written by Working Class Writer
Edited by cwiis

The Mysterious Mare Do Well

You know, Rainbow Dash is pretty cool. She's awesomely cool. Totally radically coolish kind of awesome, do you see what I mean?

(I hope Twilight never lays her hooves on this diary. She'll throw me out of the house.)

Either way, Rainbow Dash is pretty fly for a mare who enjoys excessive athletic activity. I was, therefore, honored when she asked me to ghostwrite her autobiography. She's been getting more popular in Ponyville recently, for reasons having to do with being hailed the town hero, and according to her the fillies (especially that orange one who'll obviously fail flight school) are practically begging for one. I was aware that this could be a sign of Dashie needing a slice of humble pie, but I needed the money.

So, here's what I learned from my latest book, entitled 'The Life And Times of Rainbow B. Dash', in no particular order:

-Despite Rainbow's actual legitimate name being 'Blitz', her father had to change it after he realized that Rainbow wasn't a colt after all (Blitz is a colt's name). This was of disappointment to him.

-Rainbow once starred in a Flight School play as an extra in the background who kept on shouting 'LESS TAXES'! 

-Rainbow's favorite part about the rain is that it literally has the power to stop her mother from flying over to visit her from Fillydelphia.

-Dashie dislikes the musical 'The Unicorn of Oz' as she hates that whiny tin Earth Pony. Definitely had no brain. 

-She can set fire to the rain.

As I was taking down my notes, however, it seemed to be that Rainbow Dash was focusing less on saving ponies and more on her natural talent for it (I thought her natural talent was racing...). I'll be honest, she was starting to get a bit overdone at this point. As she was talking to another one of her fans, Berry Punch noticed for once that a bus was falling off a cliff. See, Princess Celestia, this is why you should never trust machinery. We should just stick with magic.

As she was racing towards the darn thing, I tried to say in my most satirical tone possible 'The tension is unbearable! Will Rainbow Dash make it on time?!'. Apparently I didn't do so well as the other ponies gasped along with me as the bus was saved by...

...a Batmare lookalike. No, seriously. The mare (wait, how were we sure she was a mare again? Is society finally turning itself over?) even had a logo and a cape. Seriously, there was nothing special about her other than the fact that she managed to save a bus. Which is pretty cool, but she attracted quite the attention from the crowd. Naturally, Rainbow was jealous.

Unique Equine Facts #22

Never encounter new ponies without you previously hearing of them. They'll just turn out to be plot devices.

By the week after, this Mare Do Well (that was her actual name, honest) persona was spreading wildly around the town. Somehow, she managed to have the magic of a unicorn, the flight and speed of a pegasus, and the sturdiness and strength of an Earth Pony! Well, that was odd. Fortunately, no matter what Twilight may think I actually have a brain. It was obvious that Mare Do Well wasn't just one mare. Either that or it was Princess Luna's illegitimate filly, which I highly doubt, to say at the least.

The next time the seven of us met, all of them were teasing Dashie quite a bit on the whole Mare Do Well business. It didn't take long for me to realize that Twilight and the others were probably the Batmare lookalikes themselves. I winked at her just as Applejack was talking about humbleness, and she winked back at me. I'm glad she acknowledges my deductive skills. 

For the next few days or so, Dashie, in a feeble attempt to become Ponyville's most recent hero, saved other ponies from the treacherous, mind-boggling effects of WEEDS! And old age, of course. You have to be wary of old age. It's a pain to deal with. ...Twilight's dad's words, not mine.

I started to feel kind of bad for Rainbow, though. Perhaps she did need a slice of humble pie, but the poor mare was driving herself to humiliation. Fortunately, Twilight and the rest got this, and decided to stop once they decided Dashie had enough. Strangely, no drama occurred, and Dashie did accept the slice of humble pie the others were serving. ...that's not like her. At all. Knowing Rainbow Dash, she would sulk in her house for a week. Maybe Tank's changing her.

Ah, well, that doesn't matter. What matters is that, speaking of bats, it turns out that those things can't see at all in the day and Fluttershy has to give them medicine in order to prevent them from growing blind. That bat still is adorable, but I have too much responsibility on my hands. Sigh. Why can I never get a pet? That owl is nice, but he's not very good company. In particular, he has a weird tendency to suffer from memory loss. Why can't he remember anything for once?

-Spike