//------------------------------//
// Chapter 8 What Do You See In My Eyes Anyway? 
// Story: Wayward Hearts 
// by SilverTopHat 
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Chapter 8
What Do You See In My Eyes Anyway?

If only I had shut up earlier and listened! How long had they been trailing us!? And now we're surrounded by Timber Wolves! It's hard to tell how many there are because all they have to do is close their eyes and they're part of the scenery! Not that I could outrun them anyway and even if I could how long could I last? No, there is only one option left in my mind: fight them all. The sword seemed to squirm in my hand anxious for the coming battle, or was it the tension? Once we had stopped talking and started looking the Timbers got the hint that they were found our and began encircling us.
“I've been through here several times and they've never acted like this! Unless you get too close to one of their Groves.” Glitterlamp said unbelievably limping away from the the edge of the road.
“What if you killed one a few days ago?” I asked worriedly as I swiped at a brave wolf making it leap backwards.
“You what!” She yelped in shock. I lunged forward giving a wolf a new scar it can brag about later. The branches that made their bodies were much louder than the wolves from earth. Their very bodies creaked and groaned as they kept circling us slowly inching closer with each step. An unearthly growl which seemed to echo itself from deep within its wooden form. Even the forest seemed to loom over us like blood thirsty spectators in a bloody arena match.
Glitterlamp tried to scare them off with flashes of magic and making loud popping sounds with little effect, kinda like banging pots and pans which only seemed to agitate them.
“Why isn't this working! It always works!” Glitterlamp shouted in distress as they only needed a few more steps before they were upon us. One lunged forward and I instinctively stepped to its side and stepped past it bringing the blade to its throat decapitating it with a sound of a slight sigh. I will never get used to how sharp this sword is, even as it severed the wolf's head as if it was butter. The dying wail of the wolf echoed through the forest and the trees seemed to shudder at the very sound, as if it hurt.

That's when all Hell broke loose. They all descended on me all at once rushing past Glitterlamp just for a chance of sinking their thorn like teeth in me. Another stroke and another wolf extinguished while three or four jaws snapped around me one biting the back of my leg and dragging me down to the ground and the only thing that awaited me was their snarling jaws. 

The only thing that passed through my head as I closed my eyes in defeat was how much this was going to hurt. The image of my family sitting around a grave that will never be dug stung at me only for a moment as I let myself go. 

The sword flashed a blinding yellow as golden tendrils lashed out knocking the Timbers like small rag dolls. I watched in confusion as the tendrils were emerging out of my numerous wounds only to curl around each other and bind themselves shut. The world seemed brighter and I saw not only wolves jumping to their paws in front of me but also the ones to either side of me. A golden tint coated my vision as the the thought of being torn apart by fang and claw bled away from my mind.
“By the glow of Luna's mane,” Glitterlamp swore but the rest was lost to my ears as my attention turned back to the Timbers. I  pushed to myself to my feet as the golden tendrils faded away with my wounds. Relief consumed me as my strength returned to my body.
“What was tha-” I began to mutter as a Timber charged at me with fool hardy bravado.
“Sidestep and swing at the eyes.” I thought reflexively. The result was the Timbers upper head sailed a foot above its body to clatter lifelessly behind me. The new found awareness was exhilarating! The power was intoxicating as all the pain bled away from me only leaving strength.
“Four more left to go. Stab just below the jaw as it lunges then follow with a wide swing.” I thought suddenly as my vision went double to see a Timber howling in sorrow at its fallen friends and charged. The remaining three began circling at me again horribly frustrated to why I wasn't falling like all the others before. I followed the plan through mechanically as if this was the most natural thing to do, like breathing. I hardly needed to think the blade knew where it needed to go, all I needed to do was deliver it.

A green bolt hit each of the surviving Timbers and they just looked around confused and ran into the forest crying their hunting howl. All the shadows hid from my sight because I could see the Timbers until they went behind a tree. Glitterlamp was trying to get my attention but when I looked her eyes widened and began to back up slowly. I could barely see her let alone hear her. All I could see was Glitterlamp as she truly was but a dull orange blanket was obscuring her features. The fear that rose up from her was visible like steam off of hot soup. Was I the cause of her fear? What was I doing to demand such fear? A  small part of me delighted in the fact and wanted even more.
A pitiful sound of a near dead Timber got my attention as it was still trying to stand up. The creature was in pain and suffered for its attack there is no sense to allow it to suffer further. I felt no remorse nor anger when I parted its head from its shoulders causing it to roll a little. 
“These things only tried to avenge a lost brother.” I thought sadly. “I would have done the same if the shoes were on the other foot.” The golden tint began to fade as my numerous wounds began to weep crimson tears and the strength from my leg left me with a single sigh. I don't remember how I came to lying on the ground but I could hear Glitterlamp clearer now.
“I can't believe you did that!” Glitterlamp was sporting new wounds. Only a bite mark here and there but her disguise was falling to pieces. Her real face was showing through like a torn mask and her black curved horn was out of place in the mass of wild yellow curls. “We got to hurry they might be back!” she said urgently.
“It's not you,” I sputtered as copper and dirt coated my mouth.
“Don't do anything strenuous for a few weeks now.” The doctors voice criticized me. I flinched at the memory but I had other pressing concerns. “It's not you that they want.” I managed to get out.
“What?!” Glitterlamp asked trying to gather magic in her horn.
“Huh, I guess I never noticed her horn was curved. So different than Trixie or Sapphire.” I thought randomly.
“The Wolves, it's perfect.” I said trying to move my limbs coherently with poor results. “You can disguise whoever you want to be and your secret dies with me.” I said gritting my teeth through the pain and accepting the possibility of death again. I struggled to my knees and looked for the walking stick I had earlier. Something solid got under me and helped me back onto my shaky legs.
“No,” she firmly stated. “You're the first creature besides another changeling to see me and didn't hate me for it.”
My vision flowed in and out of focus as I tried to concentrate on her words. Her disguise had patched itself while I wasn't looking. She offered up my stick and we began to wobble down the road. I dared a look behind me and I saw the carnage I had wrecked upon the Timber Wolves: the Timber's heads numbered six but I don't remember killing that many! And my limbs ached and begged for rest, my throat burned for water and to make things worse I  was crashing without the adrenaline running through my veins.
“How much do you remember?” Glitterlamp asked me but it took a few more times for the question to get through. “Do you remember my name?” She asked worriedly.
“. . .G-glitter. . .” I struggled as the world began to blacken out.
“How ironic,” a voice similar to mine commented. “While in saving another you've only hurt yourself.” 
“Shut up. . . I did. . . what was. . . right.” Breathing became a chore and yet I didn't let up.
“She's only going to toss you away when she's done with you.” I chided myself. “Who gave you permission to play hero?” Glitterlamp was saying something urgently but her voice couldn't reach me but it seemed important.
“Hey, Michael? Are you OK?” Glitterlamp asked panicked as the last of my will gave out.
“Nice moves! Not much of an adventurer after all, stupid.” I relentlessly beat myself into the voids care.





I was running away from. . . I don't remember but all I know is that it hurt. A howl broke the silence as other sounds crashed against my ears. My ragged breath, my heavy tell-tale footfalls, my heart beating out of control and the Timber Wolf that was right on my heels. I tripped and fell deeper into the blackness and found the Timber only a heart beat away from me.
“What made you think you can run?” The damned thing used my voice! And when I tried to speak only a slight hiss escaped my lips. “Run all you like but you still can't outrun me!” The wolf's body shifted into a Fear Beast trotting gently along but seemed to pick up speed. “Play the “Hero” all you want. It still doesn't change a thing!” 
I  hissed trying to regain control over my mouth. “Won't work. You. Are. Alone.” It took a thunderous step to emphasis each point, dripping poison with every word. “You can't go outside without inviting some kind of trouble to yourself.” The poison began to drip into my heart. “You take the help others have given you and give nothing back. You are a burden to everything you come into contact with. You're a parasite!” I had curled into a ball filling up with fear and self loathing because I couldn't argue with it! Visions of every time I've hesitated, every time I could've done something better and each time I've made a mistake weighing my body down like chains.

It sneered in my ears all the more but when I lunged to choke the life out of it a mirror had shot up between us. I slammed into the glass breaking my nose against its cold smooth surface. I stepped back and saw the fear beast grip the edge of the mirror and cooed gently.
“Just look how they see you.” It encouraged with mock sincerity. I don't remember standing let alone walking but I stood before me reflection and really looked into it. 

I never screamed aloud before. It just wasn't me, I could always have walked away or avoid something that terrified me but I never screamed. And I never have screamed as passionately as I did now. The reflection was me but with patchy skin with no lips and sharp teeth filling my mouth; my eyes had been glazed evenly white and I was covered in blood with a twisted grin plastered on my face. 

I wanted to run away but the image captivated me. I leaned closer to my image to look into my white eyes and stared at them against my own will. 

What I saw within my own eyes shook me down to my core.

I jumped back but the image didn't move backwards but forwards as the image slammed into its glassy prison. I hissed violently at my own image and looked pleadingly to the Fear Beast.
“Oh, yes it's true.” It assured me. “Did you think that any of those ponies helped you because they cared?” the Fear-Me mocked me taking my voice and twisting it into a hissy speech. “They helped you because they were scared of what you'd do if they didn't.” I hissed fruitlessly back. A light glimmered in the distance like a lonely star dying in the cold.
“You've got blood on your hands Michael!” Fear-Me yelled pointing an accusing finger at me from within the mirror. “Where does that put you in this world? A monster, that's what! Nothing here takes a life and here you are taking it where ever you please! Maybe your “Heroism” would be acceptable on Earth! But here? You are you fooling!” The glimmer went out in a twinkle and I was in tears on the ground curled back into a ball as the darkness closed in around me. And for once the darkness terrified me.

The sound of glass cracking and a soul shattering scream drew my attention. I looked up to see a golden version of myself impaling the Fear-Me through the mirror. Yet the Golden-Me  had only a vague image of myself, the face held no features save two eyes. The eyes looked like they were taken from the swords jeweled eyes and light tendrils emerged from his very being. The mirror broke and the image was released from its small prison and they fought.
The Fear-Me started shrieking instead of speaking and the Golden-Me remained silent as it continued its assault against the Fear-Me. Claws and rows of sharp teeth emerged from the Fear-Me as it started to retaliate growing it's own tendrils of shadow and wrapping around Golden-Me's throat. What the dark one lacked was the sword as Golden-Me twisted the blade pouring its foul blood all over the ground. Fear-Me flailed its limbs around trying to deliver a blow as fatal as the sword but its form began to lose shape and mass.
The battle was intense but didn't last long as the Fear-Me soon evaporated into a dark mist leaving only Golden-Me and myself alone. I tried to ask what it was but the sound was still a hostile hiss. The smooth, near featureless face turned to me as the topaz eyes regarded me with an unblinking stare. The tendrils seemed to be coming out of its shoulders instead of wings and it started to take slow, methodical steps toward me until it towered over me like a titan.

The blade in its hand was the blade I acquired at Courage's Folly and its other hand outstretched with the palm facing up. I grabbed the hand and I was pulled to my feet as if I weighed no more than a kitten. Golden-Me forced my hand open and deposited the golden blade into it as he flowed back into the jeweled eye of the blade. And as I stared into the eye of the blade in wonder it blinked back at me! The eye began to shine with the same brilliance of the sun causing me to shield my eyes.

But when I opened my eyes again I was starring at the roof of a cottage with a blur of yellow at the side.
“It's OK Sugarlump, he'll be fine now since you got him here. Although I'll probably be taking him to the hospital for these injuries. How did you say he got them again?” Sapphire asked Sugarlump.
“Who's Sugarlump? No one I've met before.” I wondered licking my dry lips with an equally dry tongue. 
“We were attacked by a pack of Timber Wolves trying to get here. He said you would be able to help.” Glitterlamp spoke, that much I recognized.
“I can help but this isn't a clinic. It's my home, I simply don't have what I need to help him here. And you look rather beat up too, are you sure you're alright?” Sapphire asked.
“We can talk about that when Michael is awake. Hey, I think he's coming to.” Glitterlamp pointed out relieved. Gentle hoof beats came over to me and I screwed my eyes shut, the images of what I saw still fresh in my mind.
“Are you awake Michael?” Sapphire asked. “You keep bringing ponies to my house like this and I'll need to open a clinic here.” She joked lightheartedly.
“Yes, I'm awake.” I wheezed out with my tongue sticking to the roof of my mouth. A cup was pressed to my mouth but the water was too much to swallow all at once and I needed to breathe. Water splashed all over me and some slid down the wrong tube causing me to cough and sputter. I gulped down more air than I did water.
“Sorry.” Sapphire apologized quickly taking the cup away.
“Next time just place the cup in my hands, please.” I asked angrily sitting up with my eyes still shut. “I can't go back to the hospital, I already got a 150 bit debt with them already.” I stated firmly. “Don't you have a few healing potions around? Trixie found a few last time.” I pointed out.
“I only got a few more and they're kinda hard to make.” Sapphire reluctantly admitted.
“Never mind then, I won't be needing one.” I said calmly.
“Is there something wrong with your eyes?” Sapphire asked concerned.
“Yes, no, I mean,” I stumbled around flustered.
“Then open them.” Sapphire commanded me. I opened my eyes but I didn't look at Sapphire I looked to my hands and still couldn't shake the gloom that hung over my head. I kept shifting my head whenever she tried to look into my eyes. “Let me look at them so I can see if there's anything wrong with them.” She demanded like a mother commands a disobedient child.

“Go look at your painting you drew of me and you'll see what's wrong with them!” I snapped then physically hitting my leg hard to chastise myself.
“He was talking in his sleep before we got here. I think it was a nightmare.” Glitterlamp offered a reason to my behavior. “He started speaking the most horrible things and really beating himself over something.” I curled my lips into a snarl as I looked around for the sword.
“Didn't you find Short Stacks like you said? What's wrong! Did something happen to him!” Sapphire asked suddenly concerned.
“He's fine,” I snarled still trying to find the sword amongst the trash in her house. “The doctor said he's doing really well and should be out in a few months! Now where's my sword.” I asked firmly.
When I swung my leg out to stand up an intense pain shot through my body like electricity sending me back into the pillows on the couch while I tried not to scream in agony.
“Careful! You're more hurt now than you were the last time you came in here!” Sapphire informed me getting bitter from my mood. “So you need just to sit still and not move for a while, I'm the nurse and you're the patient now understand!” She snapped at me. I felt my body and I was wrapped in white gauze and bandages and what felt like splints at my legs. I gritted my teeth and looked back at Sapphire grudgingly.
“Did Glitterlamp tell you yet?” I asked as pleasantly as I could. Sapphire arched an eyebrow at me.
“You mean the mare that brought you here? Listen dear, her name is Sugarlump.” Sapphire shook her head patiently. “How hard did you hit your head?” she commented checking the bandages around my head.
“Her name is Glitterlamp and if you want to know more you must promise me something.” I said grabbing Sapphire's hoof to stop prodding my head.
“What?” Sapphire asked seeing the importance in my eyes.
“She is a changeling but her wings are hurt. Do you understand?” I asked starring into her eyes and then remembered the horror which lurked inside quickly turned my head. “What do you see in my eyes? Do they really look like that painting? Do I really remind you of Them?” I asked softly looking back at her. The question caught her off guard and sputtered for a minute trying to formulate an answer I guess.
“A changeling? Like in the headlines? But they attacked our queen and our way of life!” Sapphire spoke quickly. “And how do you know that she's a changeling anyhow!” She demanded.
“Didn't she tell you how we met?” I asked the gloom drawing in like a fog answering my question with her silence.
“All she said is that she found you by the roadside. Would you like to see her?” she asked confused and now regarding her guest with suspicion. Glitterlamp walked closer until I could see her.
“Go ahead. I trust Sapphire to do the right thing.” I encouraged. A small part of me wondered where Trixie went and then I remembered she was looking into the rock farm job.
“She's probably there.” I thought distantly almost like a whisper. Then a flash of green light happened and the changeling Glitterlamp stood before us causing a gasp from Sapphire. Glitterlamp was bandaged up but now we could see all of her wounds but only her wings proved to be the most in need of healing. Sapphire looked panicked and stood between me and her, trying to protect me?
A field of magic wrapped around Sapphire's horn threateningly pointed at Glitterlamp which now looked worried and looked pleadingly to me. What could I do? I was bed ridden and I misjudged Sapphire's reaction to Glitterlamp.

I didn't save her, I lured her into a trap.

“Fool, there is always something you can do.” I snapped at myself suddenly. “Sometimes the pen is mightier than the sword.” An idea crawled into my mind and I put it into action.
“Kill her or turn her in and you'll have proven to me what your “Elements” are worth.” Ice clung to each of my words and Sapphire looked to me as if I lost my mind. “If anyone should be blamed it should be me. I told her about you and your “Generosity” but it seems that I'm mistaken.” I said with disappointment in my voice. 
“You don't know, do you!” Sapphire shouted at me. “They attacked Princess Celestia herself and tried to take over the kingdom! They are the enemy!”
“How many dead?” I asked coldly.
“What!?” Sapphire asked not breaking eye contact with the changeling.
“How many dead litter the streets? How much blood needs to be washed off the ground?” I continued with ice encasing my heart.
“Why do I have to do this to you Sapphire? I thought you better than this! Or am I the one that is horribly wrong?” I thought as the situation just grew in tension. The look on Sapphire's face was painful to bear and Glitterlamp looked downright horrified.
“What in Celestia's blessed light is wrong with you!” Sapphire yelled at me at the verge of tears.
“Answer the question.” I intoned sadly.
“Not one.” Glitterlamp's eerie voice answered. “No pony was ever harmed to that degree. We only captured to feed off their love. Queen Chrysalis wanted to take over, not destroy.” She explained her Queens plan from what she knew. “But I never wanted any part of it!” The changeling cried out.

“Changelings are master tricksters! She could be lying!” Sapphire tried to explain to me pleading to see reason. “They can poison minds and you might be under her control!”
“What sort of creature would want to crawl around in my head? When my eyes only show horror, huh? I mean that is what you see isn't it?” I argued trying to buy Glitterlamp time for her to run and yet she didn't look like she was going to.
“N-no! Why are you bringing this up!” Sapphire turned to look me in the eye and seemed shaken. I'm not sure what made her hesitate and lower her magic field but she looked at me with pity now. I must have looked like a wreck wrapped like a mummy and no telling what they saw in my eyes but what ever they saw made them fall silent.
“She can stay for now, Michael, but if anything happens I'm holding you responsible.” Sapphire stated and trotted into the kitchen. What happened next was confusing but Sapphire gave Glitterlamp a piece of paper and instructed her about the different medicines then she dressed in hospital scrubs and left the house without another word.





“What's it like in your world?” Glitterlamp asked me hours later well into the evening while sitting down on the couch.
“Very different than this one.” I replied tonelessly. “You know you can leave with any medicine you need and run for your life right? So why stay?” I asked quizzically. Glitterlamp sighed and rolled her eyes rubbing some salve on her thin wings.
“Maybe I wanna hear what your world is like.” She stated stretching out out the couch but being careful of my injuries. “Are there many creatures like you?” she asked starring at me with her mint green eyes.
“Kinda, I mean there's not too many changelings that are similar to you is there?” I asked back breaking eye contact as soon as it was made. She merely shook her head and grinned.
“You didn't answer the question, so neither will I.” She said with mischievous glee.
“My world is-”
“Look me in the eye when you say it. Kinda rude if you don't.” Glitterlamp interrupted. “I already saw the painting Sapphire Hoof painted of you and another mare. She doesn't know the half of it.” She nickered softly. 
“Oh,” I said moodily. “And you think that you know?”

“You had this energy about you something that can't be captured by paint. And the light that came out of your eyes when you looked at me,” the changeling snuggled closer like a small child with their favorite story would. “It looked like King Sombra's eyes looked in the stories but his was purple not yellow.”
“Was that all you saw?” I growled not liking to be compared to the Lord of Fear.
“Something indescribable.” She closed her eyes reliving the memory. “I don't know what you see in them but it has to be different from what I see.” She said getting sleepy. “So, what's your world like?” She asked again.

I began telling her how I would normally go about my day. How I would sleep in whenever I got the chance and when I began talking about my family I choked up.  I couldn't keep my voice level enough to talk coherently. Even my own imagination turned on me relentlessly creating sorrow struck images of my family with tears and worry sewn into their very being. The tears even found their way to my face and I found I was struggling not to sob aloud.
“I wonder how they are all doing?” I thought as sorrow pierced my heart slowly injecting its foul toxins. “If only I could send a letter or something to let them know I'm alright.”

A gentle calm flooded my mind as Glitterlamp's horn began to softly glow and fog gently rolled into my mind.
“Shh, there there. It's alright.” Glitterlamp gently whispered in my ear. “You've had a rough day. You can tell me more about them tomorrow.” I realized how tired I was and began to drift to sleep still grief stricken thoughts lurked around but in the end they too will fade.