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// Joel just may be an Assassin...but not like the main character assassin that gets all the glory to be viewed in some weird vitrual past-seeing machine. 
// Story: The Future is....Ponies? 
// by TheDawsonator1 
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Say what you will, but the fact that I buried 2 dead mauled ponies and they came back up trying kill me is frightening as hell. I may not show it but slicing some bad guys is a lot harder to do that it looked, I just sliced it like I was trying to hit a bug.

There is something that is bugging me though, could it possibly be there is another human somewhere? It would fit, there are human minions, nobody is meant to know about humans, and these “Zombie” like creatures share a lot of traits.

It’s a possibility but I don’t think so, maybe it’s someone magical and probably found out the truth, someone had to sooner or later.

But that’s just a thought as I saw a town in the distance. Normally I would stay away but I need to know it’s name to find. The town I saw had no flame decoration, the town was on fire! HOLY SHIT!

I rushed there and called out to any survivors, to my dismay, there were none. I searched and searched frantically for any survivors I couldn’t find any. Dead ponies were burned out and some were stabbed but not burnt. The Necro-forces burned this place the ground.

Celestia is facing a very dangerous enemy, I hope she can hold them off, the other Immortals will need to as well as I am sure their countries have been struck as well.

I hear a cough from behind and see a guard struggling to breathe.

“What happened?” I asked
“Them…those things…” the pony said
“Are there any that escaped?” I ask
“No, but soon…Manehattan will fall, I heard them…please…warn Princess Celestia…very soon…Manehatten will fall! Warn them…” the pony warned

His breath died out, a pony died in my arms…it…it…it’s painful…but more deaths will happen unless I can warn them. I’ll need to wait until nightfall and hope Luna shows up again, it’s been a couple of days. 

It turns out I need not wait for the night, I saw someone very familiar to me, it’s that mailmare! Derpy Hooves I believe her name is. Maybe I could convince her to send a message to Celestia. I am seen as evil in the eyes of anyone really, so it’s time for Renegade Joel.

“You there!” I called out
“Huh? AHHH IT’S THE NECROMANCER!” Derpy shouted in fright

I pulled her in with my magic (Nooo, do not even think about it! You know what I mean) and then put my machete around her throat. AHEM! Renegade time!

“Waaah! Please don’t kill me and eat me! I taste bad and I have a family! PLEASE!” Derpy begged as she saw the machete and started squirming
“Oh will you shut it! Now, Derpy was it? The Mailmare from Ponyville right? If you want to see your family again, you will deliver a message to Princess Celestia, okay?” I ordered her
“O-Okay” She was crying a bit now
“Oh for fuck’s sake, stop crying! You ponies are scared far too easily! Now then, hear my words, My forces are heading to Manehattan shortly and I want it to fall with a FIGHT! You Ponies are pathetic! So I want all Celestia’s forces to face my own to defend Manehattan with honor and then I shall crush it!” I said evilly, even with the smile too.
“W-W-Why would you do this?” Derpy was still in tears
“Because I’m fucking evil! That’s why! I sit on wheelie chairs and stroke cats while thinking of my next malicious move! Now go! Go send that message, and if you forget, your daughter will die SLOW AND PAINFULLY!” I said as I let her go

Derpy than freaking ran for her life and took off a fast as she could and damn, she could fly.

I feel like a big freaking jerk now, but it was for the best, I know she will deliver the message, nothing motivates a mother more than a threat to her own children, I know this very well.

But it seems Karma didn’t know about my intentions as I saw a five-man patrol of Necro-soliders heading my way. Quickly I hid but they seemed to split up to search around.

I guess it’s a good thing I was in my violent mood so I can pick them off one by one and make sure that is all of them. See, this is a burnt town, they’ll figure that some survivors rebelled and defeated them and then took off.

So the first one went to my original hiding spot, he was going to spot me sooner or later but I waited for him to get closer and then I slit his throat and dumped his body in a bush.

The Second one was close by as I climbed a roof to search for him, I jump assassinated him akin to how Assassin’s Creed would do it, and I ended his life.

The Third and Fourth were together in a street 3 streets away. I aimed for the dead mare at the back I managed to get an arrow in to her head but her falling was too loud and the fourth turned around to investigate by which time I hid out of sight for a few seconds and shot a second arrow in the Griffon’s chest.

The Last one was just standing there almost asking to be slit but before I could get the human, he turned around and swung a machete at me in which I blocked. The Human was wearing an army outfit so I assume he was one when he originally died.

He swung again and it chopped a bit of my hair but I managed to chop his machete hand off.

“Ha! You won’t be needing the arm anymore” I said

However he smiled as he just grew another one…wait…what the fuck?! HE GREW AN ARM?! I call bullshit on that one!

“Okay, so you can just grow another one, that seems very fair” I said as he picked up the machete

He kept lunging for me in which I keep dodging, I finally get one in his heart which stuns him as I pull the machete out the chest and quickly swing at his head and behead him. Lesson in Zombies: Always go for the head!

Phew! That was a close one.

Clearly, this is unsettling me and that I have underestimated these enemies. The first four were not so bright but the fifth was clearly smart or I was clumsy, perhaps both was the case. I should brush up on keeping my footsteps silent and be more careful. These guys are clearly a bit smarter than they look and I fear that some of the Necromancer’s minions are much smarter and more cunning in their moves.

That being said, I gained an army knife which will come in handy no doubt, clearly it has been sharpened recently to my delight. Also the machete the soldier used and the sheath was taken. Hey, a second one could come handy one day! But one more object came to me and that was a hand grenade, I know not whether it can still be used but who knows? It may come in handy but I must take caution not to pull the pin on it…no…on second thought, I could grab another one off a soldier.

I pulled the pin and aimed it at the ground a few feet away…nothing came, perhaps time has clearly degraded these grenades. I guess that is to be expected I suppose…fucking medieval future!

I at least know the grenades are damn useless, well they may as well be rocks.

I take a look at the town name and it’s name is Hoofsville. What? Now we’re naming towns after body parts now? Anyway, I look on my map and I’m somewhere to the northeast of Canterlot which means if I keep going north-east I’ll end up in Manehattan.

Well, since a battle is happening there soon, I suppose a bit of scouting could be in order if I make it there in time…





Derpy Hooves may not of been the fastest flier around, but when she wants to, she can fly incredibly fast as she landed in the throne room where she needed to be.

“P-Princess!” Derpy flies in as she bows in front of Celestia
“Hello Derpy, have you any mail for me today?” Celestia asks
“No…YES! I have a message…from the Necromancer!” Derpy spits out
“The Necromancer? Are you sure? What is this message?” Celestia asks urgently
“H-He burned Hoofsville down y-your highness…a-and he said…he said he was going to attack…Manehattan next your highness!” Derpy was on the verge of tears again
“And he sent you to send this message? Was his name Joel, this Necromancer?” Celestia asks
“Y-Yes that’s him, h-he threatened my daughter if I d-didn’t tell you” Derpy said
“Very well, please rest, I shall have a guard help you at once. You have done a good thing today, Derpy Hooves.” Celestia pats Derpy on the shoulders in comfort

Celestia then turned to a nearby guard

“Corporal Strong Hoof!” Celestia called to the guard
“Reporting of duty, your highness!” The guard walked to Celestia and stood at attention
“You heard everything, yes?” Celestia asked
“Yes, you highness” The guard answers
“Find Captain Valiant Heart at once and have him send reinforcements to Manehattan on the double, then send a warning message to the Mayor and the guard outpost in Manehattan about the incoming forces” Celestia ordered
“Yes your highness” The guard bows
“Quickly! On the double!” Celestia says urgently

The guard fled the throne room like the Necromancer was behind him and Celestia was rather troubled.

So, Joel was in Hoofsville now, no doubt he overheard the minions talking about their plans. What if he was heading to Manehattan as well? Could he be mad enough to try? Perhaps it was time for Celestia to join in on the dreamwalking with Luna tonight to talk to Joel.

Now, Celestia appreciates all Joel has done for her out in the field but being in a full-blown battle is just suicide! Joel has to know this.

Princess Celestia could only watch as the airships were moving out to support Manehattan, she knew her soldiers can protect that city or die in fighting honorably.

Who knows how the other countries are faring in this war…