//------------------------------// // New Friends and Old Enemies // Story: The mildly cliched quest // by Figment and Spazz //------------------------------// Chapter 2- New Friends and Old Enemies "Thank you for agreeing to meet on such short notice. I know you're busy with your new... business." "Yes, well, one does what one must." "Indeed." "I assume, from your letter's lack of clearity, that this meeting was more than just a simple reunion." "Oh, it is much more than that." "What, pray tell, is it then?" "An offer." "Of?" "The justice we have been so cruely denied." "... Please, old friend, do continue, I find myself enthralled." --Spazz-- Is there a word for how happy I am right now? Hmm... Spazz thought to himself as he held his long lost favorite cousin. Joy? no... Glee? no... Fantastic? No... Hmm... Well, I guess I'll just have to make one up then... jovivial?... nah... lugubrious? Wait that's the opposite of what I feel... Fantabulostical... there it is! "FANTABULOSTICAL!" He shouted aloud. "Can't... breathe... please... help!" Fluttershy squeaked out in responce. "Spazz!" Figment's voice came frome somewhere off to the side, "Chocolate!" The unicorn looked up to see his friend tossing a candy bar into the air. Dropping his cousin, he jumped into the air and caught it in his mouth. Once it was securely in his mouth, he unwrapped it and began to eat. After a few moments of munching, he realized that some ponies were starting to stare at him, he looked around to find the reason for their appearent confusion. He was still floating a good meter off of the ground, "Oh, yeah, gravity." he said to himself. After he allowed himself to fall back to the ground, the crowd that had gathered began to disperse. He heard some of them nervously whispering about how there was "two of them" or something like that. After finishing his candy, Spazz turned to see Figment giving him a dead pan look. "Hi Figment! Thanks for the chocolate! It's realy good." He said. Figment just sighed and shook his head. What did I do this time? Oh, Fluttershy! He turned around and began trotting over to his still collapsed cousin only to be stopped by a large crimson stallion with a worn looking yoke on his neck. "Jus' what the hay do yah think you're doin'?" He asked angrily. "Ummm... Breathing, metabolizing, existing, creating a gravitational field that affects the rest of the universe in an almost imeasurably small way, creating vibrations in the air that you hear-" "T'aint what ah was talkin' 'bout!" The angry stallion said, cutting him off. Somepony's a little grumpy... I'll call him... Mr. Grumpleton. "Now ah'll ask ya again, what the hay did y'all do to mah marefriend?!" Mr. Grumpleton said while shifting his weight to prepare for a fight. Marefriend?! Fluttershy's got a coltfriend?! MY Flutteshy?! "OHMYGOSHYOUREFLUTTERSHYSCOLTFRIENDTHATSFANTASTICHOWLONGHAVEYOUBEENDATINGWHATSYOURNAMEDOYOULIKEDOUGHNUTSBECAUSEITHINKIHAVEAFEWHUNDREDOFTHEMRIGHTNOW?!" Spazz shouted with glee. The sudden bombardment of noise from the bright orange unicorn caused Mr. Grumpleton to shy back a little. He clearly hadn't been prepared for Spazz to be... well... Spazz. He just stood there looking confusedly at the still expectant unicorn for a moment before shaking his head and bracing for a fight again. "Ah'm thinkin' y'all're gonna wanna get before ah do somthin' ah regret." He said. "But... why?" Spazz sadly asked. All I wanted to do was say sorry. Mr. Grumpleton was clearly done with this conversation. He raised his hoof to through a punch, Spazz braced for impact. This wasn't the first time he'd been punched by a stranger, and it most certainly wouldn't be the last. Before the blow came, however, a voice that was immidiately identified as Fluttershy called out, "Big Mac DON'T!" Spazz opened his cleched eyelids to see the cream colored pegasus standing between the two. "He didn't mean to hurt me, we just haven't seen eachother in a long time and he's a bit... exciteable." She squeaked out. "Dear, he just about crushed ya in a death grip." Big Mac/Mr. Grumpleton said. "I didn't mean to!" Spazz shouted in defence. Big Mac regarded Spazz, still unconvinced of his benevolence, then sighed. "Ah'm mighty sorry mister. Ah didn' mean ta snap at ya'll like that, ah've just been under a lotta pressure lately what with AJ havn' her back all torn up." Spazz thought over the apology for a moment. "It's okay, I've been punched by strangers before anyway." "That don' make it any less wrong of me." Big Mac said with guilt clearly showing in his expression, he extended his hoof, "Wanna start fresh?" Spazz reached into his mane, retrieved a doughnut and placed it in the outstreched hoof with a smile. The large stallion stopped and regarded the pastry with confusion for a moment before Figment chuckled a bit, "He must really like you. Spazz is quite protective of his pastries." "Right-o old chum!" Spazz said. There was a moment of silence before Big Mac looked up and said "Thank ya kindly, but ah gotta get back to the stand for a while. Ah hope to see ya'll later." He gave Fluttershy a small kiss on the cheek, then disappeared back into the crowd, leaving the three ponies to talk. "I'm sorry," Figment said looking to Fluttershy, "but I seem not to have gotten your name." She blushed then muttered something. "Come again?" She murmured again, still unable to be understood. Spazz knew it was hard for her to talk to new ponies, so he tried to help her out, "It's okay Fluttershy. He's nice! I've been living with him since my mom and dad kicked me out." The mare tried again and managed, this time, to squeak out a barely audible, "I'm Fluttershy." "It's nice to meet you Fluttershy." "N-nice to meet you t-to." She said, still nervous. There was another akward silence before Fluttershy turned to Spazz, "It's been so long since I've seen you. How are you?" She asked. "Well, I got us kicked out of Stalliongrad and spent all of our bit's on doughnuts, so we needed a place to stay for a while. So we thought for a litte bit and then I realized GASP! I haven't seen Fluttershy for a long time! Then I thought OOH maybe she'll know where we can stay and then that happened." Spazz explained. Flutteshy just giggled a little, "Well, I do have an extra room at my cottage thanks to the low number of creatures needing care lately. You can stay there as long as you like." She said with a smile. Spazz jumped up and down, squealing with glee, then jumped around singing, "I get to stay with Fluttershy! I get to stay with Fluttershy! I get to stay with Fluttershy!" Figment simply nodded at her and said "You have my deepest thanks, Madame." "You're welcome." The timid mare whispered in responce. "Is there anything we can do to repay you?" "N-no thanks... thats fine." "Are you sure? I wouldn't want to impose." "Y-yeah, it's fine." Sometime during this exchange, something caught Spazz's eye and distracted him from the conversation. This is nothing new for him, his attention span was only about 32.17892 seconds long. What made this distraction different was the cause of it: he was awestruck. Before him, was a beautiful pink earth pony mare with a darker pink mane bouncing towards his group. He had no idea why, but she just gave off this feeling of complete 'fantastijoyfulness', as he called it, that made his heart beat even faster than normal. Until now, Spazz had never really given much thought to romance. That isn't to say he didn't want it; he just couldn't seem to find the right pony. In all honesty, Figment and Fluttershy were the only two ponies to ever tolerate him very well at all, and since he had been kicked out of the family and couldn't find Fluttershy, he had always lived with Figment. Sometimes he'd even heard of rumors around their various communities that he and his friend were lovers. While Spazz had no problem with homosexuality, it simply didn't appeal to him. He saw the philosopher as more of a brother than a possible love interest, but he understood the reasoning behind such thoughts, however untrue they were. As the pink mare drew closer, Spazz started to feel something else that was new to him, My feet feel all tingly and my stomach feels like it's trying to jump out of my mouth. What is this shenanigans? Stop it! I want to say hi to her, stomach, but if you're in my mouth I can't do that! Knees! Why are you shaking?! It is not even cold outside! Stomach! I swear to Celestia, if you don't go back to your room right now you're grounded! As he continued to lecture his entrails and limbs, the pink mare arrived. "Hi Fluttershy." She greeted before turning to the two colts and gasping loudly. "Are you new in Ponyville? I bet you're new! I know everypony here and I've never seen you two before! *GASP* We need to throw you a 'welcome to Ponyville' party! Wait, theres two of you... mabye we could have TWO 'Welcome to Ponyville' parties! That would be so awsome, wouldn't it? huh huh huh?" She said in one breath. She spoke to you. Quickly! Say something, ANYTHING! "Diphthong." Nailed it!