An Hour With Apathy

by Soul_Seeker

The Hour

"I don't get it." The grey mare told me in her usual dull voice. "If you want to feel happy you don't have to smile."

"Maud, I know. I wasn't saying after feeling happy, you HAVE to smile every time." I patted her head much to her dismay... Or joy, its hard to tell with this one. "But once would be nice to see." She gave me her classic look and just stared.

"I don't get it." She said again emptily.

Sighing deeply, I slouched in the booth. "Yeah I know." I told her with a slight frown. "I'll teach you one day, I can feel it!" I said with a clenched hand to the ceiling. Maud said nothing and raised an eyebrow.

"Whatever you say, Joel." She said, taking an agonizingly slow bite of one of pinkies cupcakes. It wasn't one of her usual sugar packed, stage three diabetes inducing treats, but from a batch Pinkie made specially for Maud; a sprinkle of sugar with mostly butter and flour... I still don't understand how she can make a perfectly bouncy, fluffy cupcake with just that but that's for the next human to find out because I already tried finding out what a 'Pinkie Sense' was... No. Just no.

Maud was visiting the pink ball of sunshine for a few weeks. Apparently Pinkie had sent Maud so much rock candy over the passed month that she couldn't even get the mail mares to carry all of it. Maud thought it fitting to reward her gifts by coming into town and telling her Pink sister that she received every single piece of the hard candy and only wanted to inform her to stop sending more... I thought a letter would have been enough but Maud genuinely wanted to come visit her family and meet the group of friends she had acquired. I took the initiative to keep her company while Pinkie finished off her shifts at Sugarcube Corner; I respect a mare who would rather keep the smiles on everyponies faces and keep the Cube running smoothly even when a family member came by. The girl has integrity, I'll give her that much. Although it wasn't like Maud minded all that much anyway, she had her pebble to inspect over and over... And over again.

"How do you know Pinkie, Joel?" She asked randomly and suddenly inquisitive.

This'll be good "I actually quite literally walked into her when I first got here." I said, ready to continue but she interrupted.

"Got here?" She asked flatly with her eyes half-closed in perpetual mundane...ness.

Oh right, most Equines have absolutely no idea I randomly showed up by taking a stroll through the fucking woods in the park and ended up meeting a galaxy bursting apart at the same time a wormhole decided to swallow Mercury, resulting in a cosmic disturbance that only effected the old-growth trees of Earth, changing the state around them to shift violently and transport my ass into the land of marshmallow ponies with the cutest children in history of history.

...Yes, Twilight literally figured all that out just by me describing the area I was in and the planets in orbit of our solar system at the time she liked to call, 'Point of impact'. Fucking hell, if I found smarts sexy, I'd implode just from her telling me about her damn day.

"Clearly you can see I'm not from around here. Alien life-form and all..." I said a tad dejectedly.

"You look normal to me." She said with a tip of her head to drink her mild tap water.

"Oh... Thanks, actually." I said with a surprised look.

"For what?" Maud asked with a few slow blinks following.

"For not calling weird, strange, disgusting; or my personal favorite, 'what the hell?' " I said with a small chuckle. She opened her mouth but closed it, staring into my very soul with those grey eyes as if I had gone off on a tang- fuck. "Anyways, I ran trhough the woods when Pinkie was doing... Pinkie things-"

"She does those a lot." Maud said in perfect monotone.

Did she just make a joke...? Because I'm pretty sure that Pinkie would piss herself and pass-out if she had heard it. "Yeah, she likes to alright." Taking a sip from my soda, I continued, "And when she saw me, she jumped into my arms and asked if I could carry her home because she was tired. Now, in my world; ponies can't talk and they happen to usually almost literally weigh a ton. I was so caught off-guard by a PINK pony that smelled like cotton candy and cupcakes jumping into my arms that I just said, 'okay' and walked where she said." Maud looked bored, she's probably bored. Or hungry; or whatever the fuck she is.

"Continue." She said in her normal apathetic tone. Guess not, damn.

"When I had got into town, the rest of the ponies were just smiling away at me like I was the most adorable puppy they had ever laid eyes on. Then Pinkie took it into her hooves to start flailing said hooves around and saying, 'Look how friendly he is! I want him to carry me all the time!' and I basically got a pass by all of Equestria because cotton candy mane over there made me her personal carry-human."

"Not all that surprising. You seem nice." She told me, finishing her cupcake and pushing the water away a few inches.

"Thanks, Maud." I said a little out of place; I never would have thought she'd have complimented me. Don't get me wrong! Maud seems like a stand up gal and all; it's just that I was told she rarely even used the word, 'nice'.

"Sure." She stated, taking her pebble out of her chest pocket, sniffing it and then dropping it into the almost empty water glass. "Pebble was thirsty." She told me as she could clearly see my, 'What in the fuck' face prominent on my features.

"Cool..." Looking to Pinkie running back and forth, she grinned and mouth 'one more hour' before doing Fluttershy's 'yey' face. God dammit these bastards are cute. I looked at Maud staring at the table and quickly asked, "So... What 'bout you? What are you planning on doing while in town?"