“Sunset Shimmer, I am removing you from the position of my pupil. If we cannot get past this, your studies end here. You are welcome to stay in Canterlot, but you are no longer welcome in the castle.”
I felt my heart wrench inside me. How could she do this to me? I was the strongest unicorn in Equestria! I’d passed every test she’d thrown at me with such high marks that I’d broken the grading scale entirely! I wasn’t just trash to be thrown away! I fought back tears and glared at her across the books of dark magic and forbidden history between us.
“We’ll never get past this because you aren’t seeing how great I deserve to be!” I spat angrily on the floor between us. “Is that really all you have to say to me?” It took everything I had not to cower before her. I’d never seen her this angry before, not even when I’d burned down practically half of the castle with a spell gone haywire.
“No,” she said. I had just enough time for a glimmer of hope. To think she’d reconsidered her rash decision. Then she followed it with “The guards will escort you out.”
She didn’t even trust me to leave on my own.
“This is the biggest mistake you’ll make in your entire life,” I muttered, as the guards flanked me and forced me out of the room. If she said anything after that, I didn’t hear it. I was too busy looking at my own hooves as I walked out of the room, feeling like I couldn’t breathe.
I was strong, though. I managed to get around the corner and out of her sight before I collapsed.
It was the first panic attack I’d had since I’d left the orphanage all those years ago. It was like my heart was going to tear from my chest, like I was drowning. For a few moments I thought I might be dying on the spot, as if Celestia had put a curse on me to get rid of her embarrassing failure. I’d had plans of overpowering my guards and running for the mirror, but they were washed out of my mind with that wave of terror overtaking my senses.
One of them - and I’m not sure what his name was, they all look the same to a casual observer - gave me a shoulder to lean on while I tried to control myself. He didn’t say anything, but it was more kindness than he owed me, after Celestia’s orders to have me thrown out.
“I need to-” I started, gasping for breath as my throat started to close. He gave me a few moments to compose myself. “I need to get my things before I… before I leave.” I whispered. It was as loud as I could manage, having to force the words out.
“You can send for your personal effects after you’ve left the castle,” the guard said. I felt a surge of anger, but it was quickly squashed by growing despair. What was I going to do, fight him off just so I could get a few books and bits of clothing? It would be stupid.
And I wasn’t stupid. I was Sunset Shimmer. The strongest unicorn in the world! I wasn’t going to get thrown into the dungeon. I needed to make a plan, and that meant stepping back and getting control of myself. I hadn’t been in control since I’d seen Celestia.
I nodded and let them escort me out. I tried to keep my expression neutral, and the guards thankfully weren’t treating me like a prisoner, so nopony seemed to notice anything was odd. The guards were just doing their job, and they were treating me with the respect I deserved. When it came time to take blazing vengeance on Princess Celestia for what she’d done to me, I’d have to remember to minimize casualties.
So there I was, forced outside the castle, with my escort waiting at the door to make sure I didn’t try to get back in.
And... I wasn’t sure where to go.
I had no home. No family. No friends to turn to. This was the one time when having the friends Celestia had kept bugging me about would have been useful, and I didn’t have them. Of course, given the circumstances, I couldn’t have faced them anyway. If this was her way of teaching me a lesson, it was working.
But even if it was working, I had my pride - I wasn’t going to go crawling back to her for forgiveness. She was the one who had been holding me back. She was too used to ponies just bowing to her authority when she decided they weren’t ’ready’ for something.
I felt the fear really start to fade, replaced by anger. It was something to hold onto. Something to keep me moving. Fear and regret would only make me useless. Anger, though, that could drive a mare, give them something to live for.
I wasn’t banished from the city of Canterlot itself, not yet at least. I could get a room at an inn until I’d figured out what I was going to do. I looked back at the guards and took a deep breath
“I’m going to get a room at the Fanciful Unicorn,” I said. I knew they had rooms, and they were relatively cheap. Celestia had taken me out on the town a few times, even when I’d rather have been studying in the castle. We’d get food there, my muzzle buried in a book and hers in a cake. I think it was mostly because they had a big dessert menu. “Could you have my things sent there?”
The guard nodded without saying anything, and one of them left, presumably to do just that. I trotted down the street, trying not to think of anything at all. I was on the edge of another panic attack. I had to keep it under control. I would be fine. I was strong. Stronger than anypony else.
I managed to get all the way to my room before having that panic attack. It was almost a victory, except for the part where I completely lost all control and collapsed just inside the door in a pathetic, weeping wreck. (The strongest weeping wreck in Equestria, though.) My life was over - Celestia had thrown me out, I was never going to become a Princess, and I had absolutely no one to turn to.
I also had no money, which was going to make for an interesting discussion with the innkeeper in the morning.
I was jolted back to my senses by a knock on the door.
“One minute!” I yelled, frantically wiping the tears from my face before I opened it. A guard was standing there with my saddlebags. He gave them to me wordlessly.
I opened them and glanced inside. I’d never really owned a lot of stuff. Things had just been lent to me as I’d needed them. When I was finished, they’d be taken away. I’d have to do an inventory of what they’d grabbed for me to see what I had to work with.
“Thank you,” I said quietly, not meeting his gaze. He nodded and left. I closed the door after him and threw the bags next to the bed. I’d go over them in the morning. I was exhausted after everything that had happened, and I needed rest. I wasn’t going to be able to think clearly enough to start coming up with a plan until I’d slept.
I fell onto the hard bed, not even bothering to pull the covers over me, and fell into a dreamless sleep.
For a few seconds in my half-asleep state on waking up, I forgot about everything that had happened. I was happy. Then it all came crashing back down on me with an intensity that had me crying into the pillow for a few hours.
I was fine after that. Definitely fine.
I pulled the saddlebags open and dumped out their contents. The first thing that caught my eye was a bag of bits. That would be useful. At least I wouldn’t have to end up washing dishes to pay for my room. A cursory glance told me… well, I wasn’t sure how long it would last. I had never worried about money before, so I’d have to figure out how to stretch out my funds.
A little clothing; my black raincloak, a dress I’d worn once, socks I’d gotten as a gift. Books, though half of them belonged in the castle library. I didn’t feel like returning them. And my journal, emblazoned with my cutie mark. There was a spell on it so the text in it would be copied to a duplicate in Celestia’s room. Rather useless to me now, since I didn’t have anything to say to her. Maybe it was just supposed to remind me of my past lessons. Or she’d given it to me out of spite to needle me with the fact that I wasn’t her student anymore.
I threw it across the room. It was enchanted too heavily to be damaged by rough treatment like that, but it made me feel better.
There wasn’t anything in the bags aside from that. I’d never cared much about stuff when I could just borrow what I needed. Magic had been infinitely more rewarding, real skills I could learn, to prove to myself any everypony else just how strong I was.
I had to decide what to do next. Get a job? I’d never had a real job before. I wasn’t even legally an adult. I looked out the window, and saw the spires of the castle.
I closed the curtain, feeling like the castle’s windows were all filled with eyes and judging me for what I’d done. I knew then that I wouldn’t be able to stay here in Canterlot, not with the Princess potentially waiting around any corner. I couldn’t bear to see Celestia again, and in Canterlot I might run into her at any moment. Even if I didn’t see her myself she was always a constant topic of conversation - and I would be, too. I hadn’t had any friends, but I was well-known. I could only imagine my classmates gossiping in the halls about how far I’d fallen from grace. I was going to have to leave the city for good, and go somewhere nopony had ever heard of me.
I grabbed one of the few books I had at my disposal and paged through it to a map of Equestria. It was time to start making plans.
You’d think being a genius meant I’d be able to bounce back quickly from little snags. The problem is that I wasn’t used to snags happening at all. My usual response to something getting in my way was to go right through it (with fire), but brute force wasn’t going to get me more bits.
Well, actually, that wasn’t quite true. Brute force and fire magic could definitely get me more bits, but I wasn’t going to start going around and mugging ponies. Part of me briefly considered joining the Royal Guard. At least then I’d be able to put my talents to use and immediately get food and boarding.
On the other hoof, it meant I’d have to deal with Celestia again at some point, and I wasn’t ready to do that. Every time I thought about her I felt sick. She’d just gone and tossed me aside like I was nothing, just because I wouldn’t blindly submit to her authority. She’d been everything to me. I wasn’t sure if I wanted her to hold me and tell me it was going to be alright or if I wanted to set her mane on fire.
My stomach growled like an angry manticore. I hadn’t eaten in… well, I wasn’t sure how long it had been. It had been at least a full day. I’d forgotten to have breakfast or lunch before my little study session in the restricted archive. That was probably for the best. With all the dry heaves I’d suffered through, I’d have an empty stomach anyway and make a mess in the process.
I knew I wasn’t going to get much planning done while I was distracted. I was already miserable and upset, and there wasn’t much point in suffering even more. I walked downstairs and paid for my room with the bits I’d been so generously given, then left to find something to eat. The Fanciful Unicorn was a great inn, but the food wasn’t cheap. I needed to make my bits last as long as possible. Besides, I always thought better on my hooves.
Canterlot was Celestia’s city. You could see the castle from every street. Guards were on every corner, and I was suddenly aware that ponies probably knew me and were going to ask questions the moment the news broke that I’d been kicked out. Not a lot of ponies had been present for my eviction, but it wasn’t going to take long for the rumor mill to fire up to full speed. I’d probably be front-page news this time tomorrow.
I could feel eyes on me. Ponies watching me from across the street, behind me, glancing out of windows and looking away when I tried to catch them. When I was on top of things I would have loved the attention. They weren’t fawning over me now, though. They were mocking me. I felt my chest start to tighten.
I ducked into an alleyway, getting off the street for a moment. I could feel my heart pounding like it would tear from my chest. I knew it was stupid. The news wasn’t out yet. I forced myself to calm down. It only took a few minutes with the help of a garbage can and some dry heaving.
“Are you alright?” asked somepony behind me. I almost fell over in shock, losing my balance as the surprise made me jump. I looked back to see a white unicorn with a long blue and red mane. I’d seen her around at the school, though her name escaped me.
“I’m fine,” I spat. Literally. I needed to clear the awful taste of bile from my mouth.
“You don’t look okay,” she said, stepping closer. “I can go get Princess Celestia and-”
“No!” I yelled, stumbling back and knocking the garbage can over. “I said I’m fine! Just leave me alone!” I turned and ran. I’m not proud of it. It was the first time I’d run from anything, and it wasn’t some deadly foe or a disaster I was fleeing, but instead a pony trying to help me. Hardly my proudest moment. I was a few blocks away before I calmed down enough to stop, and by then she was long gone.
“Great work, Sunset,” I mumbled. “Maybe next you’ll have a flare and burn down half of the city.” It wasn’t likely. I’d learned to control myself at full power a while ago - it was one of the first things Celestia had taught me. But if I was this emotionally unstable, there was no telling what might happen. Losing control was a bad thing when your special talent was exceptional magical strength.
I took a few deep breaths and looked around. I was outside a cafe. One I’d never eaten at before. Maybe getting food in my stomach would help me feel better. I sat down at a table and grabbed a menu. Everything looked good. There weren’t many other patrons there. A blue unicorn with a yellow mane. A white pegasus with a shockingly bright mane in yellow, green, and red. I resolved to ignore them.
“Are you ready to order, or do you need a few minutes?” Asked a waitress who seemed to come out of nowhere. I managed to avoid making a fool of myself, but the table helped hide as one of my legs kicked out in surprise.
“Just get me…” I scanned the menu. “A daisy sandwich and a side of hayfries.” It wasn’t the cheapest thing on the menu, but I wasn’t up to staring down a bowl of boiled oats. “Just water to drink.”
She went off to get my order, and I found myself with nothing to do but wait. I didn’t have a book to read, or anypony to talk to. I was just alone with my thoughts, and they weren’t pleasant. I could feel them going around in circles. All the plans I’d had for the future were derailed so badly that I couldn’t even see the tracks from where I’d landed. I was supposed to rule at her side. Cadance had already thrown a wrench into my plans, but if I’d been able to become an alicorn…
It wasn’t worth thinking about. I wasn’t ever going to wake up with wings stapled to my sides. It hadn’t even been an issue until Cadance showed up out of nowhere with some crazy story about defeating a witch, and she was instantly welcomed and loved and Celestia had even adopted her. She’d never even talked about adopting me, and I’d lived with her for most of a decade. She’d dragged me out of a burning orphanage herself to be her personal student, and it was Cadance that she thought of as a daughter.
I considered putting my thoughts down on paper just to help me structure them, and dismissed it almost immediately when food appeared in front of me. My sandwich was as beautiful as any I'd seen before, and I started eating ravenously. It really had been too long since I’d eaten. I barely even tasted it as I wolfed it down, my confidence growing.
I didn’t need to plan. I was Sunset Shimmer, the strongest unicorn in Equestria. Planning was for ponies who didn’t have the strength to just do what they wanted. I could do anything.
The first thing I needed to do was get away from Canterlot. If Celestia didn’t want me, I wasn’t going to stay here in her shadow. If she wanted me to come back, she’d have to beg me for my forgiveness!
I threw bits on the table, just enough to cover my tab, and left. I wasn’t going to spend another night in this city. I wasn’t sure where I was going to go, but the important thing is that it wouldn’t be here.
It felt good. I’d made a decision. I was taking action. The more I distanced myself from this failure, the better I’d feel. I’d just grab my stuff, then go down to the train station and take the first train away. It didn’t matter where it went, I’d be in a better position than I was now.
It was a long walk back to the Fanciful Unicorn. Despite my bravado, I still felt like there were ponies staring at me. Sweat trickled down my neck as I picked up the pace. It was stupid. There weren’t ponies following me. That was impossible.
Or was it? Celestia was the head of the government. She always knew everything that was going on. She had plenty of spies working for her. Would she have ponies watching me? Did she think I was going to run in and try to burn down the palace in revenge? Actually, that sounded exactly like something I’d do. It had a sort of spiteful attraction even now. I didn’t fancy becoming part of the statue garden, though, and I’d only escaped it because I’d been her student. Anypony else looking at the books I’d read would have been a perch for pigeons by now. Maybe she was looking for an excuse to make my sentence more geological.
No, that was stupid. I was just getting paranoid. There weren’t spies watching me.
I got back to the Fanciful Unicorn and opened the door to my room. Had it looked like this when I left? Did I really leave the books scattered around like that? Did somepony come in while I was gone? A maid would have cleaned up. A spy would have tried to leave things where they were. Probably.
Before the sensible part of my mind could stop me, I’d thrown down a basic scanning spell over everything I’d been given. My journal had a twist of enchantments on it, but they didn’t seem to have changed, and I’d looked at the enchantments enough times trying to decipher the complicated spellwork to notice if there was a difference.
The library books had basic spells to protect them from damage, and to alert the librarian if they were overdue. Nothing strange there.
My saddlebags had a tracking spell on them. I felt my heart lurch. It was still fresh. was I paranoid or not paranoid enough? My bits had the same spell on them. The two things I’d be least likely to leave behind. My blood ran cold. All those feelings of being watched, and I’d been right all along. I shattered the spells. They’d alert the caster, but I didn’t care. I knew a few ways to avoid divination spells, and I was going to use all of them.
I threw everything except my cloak into my saddlebags, then pulled the dark, heavy, oiled cloth over my body. I’d still stand out, but I had to make at least some kind of attempt to hide. A nondetection spell would keep my safe from scrying attempts for at least a little while. I walked downstairs calmly, looking around the room.
Blue unicorn with a yellow mane. White pegasus with a mane in a riot of colors. The same two from the cafe. Our eyes met. They knew I knew. I bolted for the back door, running through the kitchen. I heard the chef yelling in annoyance, or maybe just warning me not to run on the wet tile floor. Either way I wasn’t listening.
I had to get to the train station. It was the only way out of Canterlot that didn’t involve hiking down a mountain. I looked back and saw the two ponies chasing me. I had a good lead on them, but it wasn’t going to last. I had to admit, I wasn’t in shape. I’d spent most of my life reading or casting spells. Usually the latter. I liked to learn by doing, even if it meant some amount of collateral damage while I worked on my pyromancy.
Since I couldn’t run forever, I needed a distraction. I ducked into an alleyway to get out of their sight and gathered magic around my horn. I couldn’t maintain two spells constantly, and the nondetection spell was more important for the moment, so whatever I cast was only going to last a few minutes at most.
I ran right into a mare. On purpose. My horn flared as we collided. She yelled something rude as I got up and kept moving, trying not to look like I was fleeing. After all, I didn’t look like me anymore. When we collided, I’d thrown out a mirror image illusion, swapping our appearances. It wouldn’t last long, but it was a good enough likeness for as long as it did.
I heard yelling behind me and got out of sight, walking into a florist’s shop. I tried to act casual, watching out of the corner of my eye as the two ponies I’d spotted before ran right past the door. I counted to ten, then walked out and started in the opposite direction from where they’d gone. I’d have to circle around the long way to get to the train station, but it would be worth it if I could avoid ponies watching me.
It did beg the question of just why they were stalking me, though. My most paranoid thought was that they might just be waiting for me to mess up so they could drop the hammer on me and have me thrown in the dungeon. It was equally likely that Celestia wasn’t quite as cold-hearted as she’d appeared and was making sure I could take care of myself. It would be just like her to offer mercy anonymously, like the bits that had been in my bag.
Either way, I didn’t want her looking over my shoulder. If she didn’t want me as a student, I didn’t want her in my life.
“One ticket to Baltimare,” I said. I put a few bits on the counter and glanced back. I knew I was being watched. I could just feel it. It was why I’d abandoned the cloak. I wanted them to see me right now. I took my ticket and walked towards the train platforms. In this crowd it would be impossible to tell who was actually following me.
I ran through a series of plans in my head. I could just get on the train and hope for the best. I’d probably get to Baltimare safely, and there’d be plenty of time to shake anypony after me once I got there. It would mean they knew where I was, though.
I could jump onto another train, or even leave the Baltimare train early, jumping out between stops. If somepony followed I’d know for sure that they were after me. An easy way to make them blow their cover, if nothing else.
The Baltimare train was leaving in ten minutes. Another was going to some tiny town only a few hours away. That seemed like a safe bet. Even better, it was already starting to leave the station. I looked back at the crowd. It would be interesting to see who followed my lead.
My horn flashed as I teleported to the moving train, putting myself down in the safest place I could see, the back of the caboose where there was enough room to stand. A few ponies in the crowd turned in shock or alarm. It wasn’t every day they saw a pony with that kind of magical talent.
“Goodbye forever, Canterlot,” I sighed and opened the door, walking into the train car. It was only half-full. Evidently Ponyville wasn’t a popular tourist destination. I took a seat where nopony was likely to bother me.
And then the back door opened again, and a pony in guard armor stepped inside. I felt my stomach twist into a knot. There was only one reason for him to be here. I stood and backed away from him.
“Sunset Shimmer,” He said, slowly. “I need you to come with me.”
“I don’t think so,” I said, my horn lighting up as I blinked into the next car. Ponies there were even more surprised by my arrival. I locked the door with a flicker of magic. It wasn’t like I could hold him off for long, but I needed to think of something.
I looked around at the scared faces surrounding me. Something that didn’t involve fire, unfortunately. Even if Celestia wanted to turn me to stone, I wasn’t ready to kill everypony on board just to secure my escape.
“Sunset, calm down. We just want to talk.” I spun around to see that blue and yellow unicorn. Maybe my plan wasn’t as clever as I thought, if they were able to get this many ponies involved. “We were going to watch you from a distance, but that isn’t working out. We’re just keeping tabs on you for-”
“I don’t care,” I said, cutting her off. “I don’t care who you’re working for. I don’t care if the Princess ordered you to make sure I didn’t get myself killed, or if she wants you to put me down the second I step out of line. I don’t answer to you, or Celestia, or anypony else! She cut me loose, and I’m my own master now.”
“Things will be a lot easier for you if you just cooperate!” The mare snapped. “We have orders to make sure you don’t cause trouble.
There isn’t anywhere to run, so you can either listen peacefully or we can do things the hard way.”
I almost decided to give up. Then there was a crack, and the sky itself shattered. All of us stopped what we were doing and looked up as a shockwave of rainbow colors flashed across the sky. The rumbling sound stilled my panicking heart, and I suddenly knew what I had to do.
“There’s always a choice,” I said. “As long as you’re willing to accept the consequences.” I flared up my horn for a third teleport. I had a terrible idea, but it was my idea, and the last thing they’d expect.
I teleported out of the train. We were on a bridge, over a deep gorge and a roaring river. I managed to see the surprise evident on my pursuer’s face as I plunged towards the water.
It was a really stupid decision, in hindsight.