//------------------------------//
// The evil mailbox of Sugarcube corner 2: Mattie's revenge 
// Story: Sweetie mime 
// by MidnightFMare 
//------------------------------//

	After an adventure where no one learned anything, Lyra, Bonbon and Sweetie Belle exit the kitchen, looking singed 
Or in Lyra's case, tan "I like my new helmet"
"Lyra, that's that mangled door to the oven" Bonbon says, setting a club made of the heating coils on the floor
"I know that! I meant that I have proven to you that the oven was evil! You said I was making stuff up! Well, I was right!"
"I just want to know where you got that comically oversized grenade" Sweetie says, lowering her pots-and-pans war hammer on the floor, right next to the purified carbon sabre of scouring and disembowelment
"I grabbed it before we left, I usually use them to deter telemarketers" Lyra replies, balancing her wooden spoon of scooping on her nose
Sweetie looks at Bonbon "Should I-"
"No, Sweetie, she's just that way. I for one think we should go to the hospital"
Lyra snorts "Why? I feel awesome"
"But Miss Heartstrings! You're brown!"
She stares at Sweetie "It's called a tan. They're all the rage in California and New Jockey"
"Both of those places are full of minotaurs, hun"
Lyra shrugs "So? I'm a trend setter. Like my Mani-Pedi's, robotic fingers, using humanisms, and bipedal walking"
Sweetie shakes her head, picking up her weapons "I'm going home... I need to think about what happened"
Lyra waves "Okay, Just watch out for the Mailbox in front of Sugarcube corner! It's possessed!"
Sweetie nods, walking out the door

She stares at the mailbox, the pink mailbox on a pink post, a little flag on the side
"This doesn't look haunted..."
"But I am little filly, I am Mattricullis Scherobthregium, or as the one who is everything calls me, 'Mattie'" a sinister voice whispers
Sweetie squeaks and whips her purified carbon sabre of scouring and disembowelment around, the blade pointed at the mailbox "Did... did you say that?!"
"No, it was the couch across the street. Yes it was me!" the voice whispers loudly, chilling the air
"I'm not afraid of you. I have just slain a possessed oven, I do believe that a mailbox will be no match!"
This time the mailbox moves, the flap turning into a cleft chin, razor sharp teeth on the top and bottom of the mouth of the mailbox "That was just a poltergeist, I however am a higher demon borne of fire and bureaucracy, given form by the souls of fallen mail ponies killed by the elements and very angry dogs... I am the great censor of the post! I have more power in a paint chip than you have in your whole being! I am a monster that will devour this world! Flood it with letters and packages lost in the mail! Ponies will be torn to shreds in my great deluge! they will drown, suffocating on stamps! I am immortal! You can try to exorcise me, I will still dwell, you can try to destroy me, I will return! you see little filly, I am the greatest evil, hiding in plain sight! and when I make my move, it will be far too late!"
"Twilight will stop you!" Sweetie says, her sword quaking in her magic
It sneers "She has tried, and failed. She saw me, standing in mockery and defiance to her actions, she ran away screaming, her slave following on his stumpy legs. It was glorious! No one can stop me! I am indestructible! GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAA!!!"
Sweetie swallows her fear, steadies her blade, and strikes the post, splitting it in two "Stupid mailbox"
On the ground, Mattie grins "What did I just say?"
Mattie and the post glow a sinister scarlet, the cut disappearing "I am indestructible!"
Sweetie shivers and strikes again, the glow returning
"I must admit, I thought the only one who can hear me the one who is everything. I guess that you can too. How wonderful!"
Sweetie gulps and lifts her sabre and runs towards the library

"TWILIGHT!" she screams, waking the sleeping alicorn
"What is it Sweetie?! Are there monsters rampaging?! Did you somehow summon a monster?! What?!"
"Pinkie's mailbox is evil! I need you to help me destroy it!!' Sweetie answers, waving her sabre in the air
Twilight shivers, her pupils reduced to pinpricks "No, nooo, nonononono! I know I destroyed that thing! Spike and Pinkie were with me! I hit that mailbox with my baseball bat until I just about collapsed from exhaustion, screaming in rage the entire time. I then set it on fire, had Spike set it on fire again, followed up with every type of elemental magic I knew, and then blew it up. That done, I then meticulously gathered the remains of the mailbox, did a purification ritual on those remains and the spot the mailbox had been planted, buried the ashes in concrete in the library basement, and then placed protective wards over the drying concrete!! Then the Cakes bought the same type of mailbox from the same place and put it where the old one was planted! I know that's what happened! The mailbox is in no way haunted, possessed, evil, or anything!"
Sweetie shook her head "I was just talking to it! I tried to kill it with my sword and it just fixed itself! We need to kill it!"
Spike looks up from his comic "Why not just encase it in lead or something? That seems to work for magical artifacts in my comics"
Twilight turns to him "That's rediculou- Hey, that might work"

After having all the pegasi in Ponyville lift a lead cube missing the bottom, the aforementioned side teleported right under the post, a trench dug so that the sides interlocked with a seal of molten lead, sealing charms from every nation and cult inscribed in the donated blood of virgins blessed with incredible magic, which was Twilight and Luna.
And the final safeguard, wrapped in duct tape, an industrial magic-deletion device.
Once the cube is completed, duct tape, blood and lead checked, Twilight lets out a loud sigh "We've done it... We've sealed that mailbox away... we've saved the world... man am I light headed..."
Sweetie stares at the cube "Shouldn't we've impaled it with solid lead spikes so that it focuses its power on trying to stay whole rather than letting it build up inside, waiting to burst? I mean, that's what you'd do with a dangerous, immortal villain"
Twilight twitches "Dear maker, you're right! But we can't open it! so... now we just... wait..."
Sweetie smiles "I know how to fix that" she waves down a certain pegasus "Miss Derpy, I think we made a mistake, there's a crack in the side that I can't fix and Twilight is too weak from giving blood. Could you go fix it please?"	
Derpy salutes and walks towards the cube, walking around it, finding the imaginary fault and touches it, whole cube unfolding, nearly crushing Rainbow Dash underneath it
Twilight stares in disbelief "How?!"
"Derpy is magic, ask her to try and do something, and she'll end up doing the opposite. Like when the club house needs to be repaired, we ask her to help us tear it down. Before we know it, she's repaired it like it was never broken!"
The mare in question walks over, looking sad "I broke it... I'm sorry..."
Sweetie hugs her "That's okay, now we can make sure there aren't any other problems!"
Her face brightens visibly, returning the hug "Yay! I helped!"
Twilight just nods slowly, filing that fact into the folder of things she will not think about unless she wants to lose it.

After gathering some spare lead, Twilight hefts one, and impales it through Mattie, Sweetie joining in and when they run out, Twilight lifts the sides up, sealing it again, the spears fusing to the walls as they close, a single phrase coming from the sealed mailbox
"I... will... be back... you will... not esca... pe..."
Slowly backing away from the cube, Twilight cheers, trying to dance, everypony else erupting in laughter. 

That evening, Sweetie walks home, the sun's dying rays giving the town a golden glow. The white walls of the boutique seeming to glitter scarlet
Just like Mattie's magic
"Psh, yeah right, Mattie is sealed away, I'm just imagining things" she says to herself approaching the mailbox in front of the store
And then she stops 
"No... how is that possible?! I saw you shut into that box!"
Mattie looks down at her, cleft chin and sharp teeth grinning "I said that you can't escape me. No one can. So little filly... what's your next move?"
Sweetie shivers "I... SIIIIIIIIS!!!"
Rarity walks out, looking as prim and proper as usual "What is it Swee- WHAT DID YOU DO TO MY MAILBOX?!"
"It's Pinkie's evil possessed mailbox! Twilight and I sealed it in a magic lead box this afternoon! It's escaped somehow and is here now! We need to destroy it!"
Rarity rolls her eyes "I know about Pinkie's mailbox and what it does, but blaming it for whatever reason you or one of your friends painted mine pink. Now come inside, you look like you've had a long day... and why do you have a dagger?"
"It's not a dagger! It's a purified carbon sabre of scouring and disembowelment! And more importantly, we need to destroy Mattricullis Scherobthregium! Before he floods the world with lost mail and packages! He can't win!"
Rarity rubs her head "I don't have time for this. Go inside and eat dinner, we can bathe you later"
"But-"
"No 'but's little miss! Inside! Now!"
Sweetie grunts and does so, carrying her sabre in her mouth
Rarity laughs "The imagination that she has, if she could only use it for something useful..."
Unknown to her, Mattie smiles "This world will be mine...