//------------------------------// // Rarity's Meddling // Story: I'd Kiss Her // by Fire Gazer the Alchemist //------------------------------// "Are you certain that she'll be here?"  Rarity asked as she walked through the gates of Sweet Apple Acres uncertainly, looking around.  To her left a grove of apple trees basked in the light of the early evening.  To her right was the Apple household, as wooden and rustic as ever. Chips of paint were missing from the exterior, and slight termite damage could be noticed even at this distance, making the house look somewhat similar to the barn that was behind it. Even further back was a series of hills populated to the horizon with more apple trees, each of them yet to be bucked clean of their ruby colored morsels. “Yeah, I am.”  Rainbow flew forward, landing just ahead of Rarity.  She pointed towards the barn that rested a few yards away.  “Applejack always hides out in there when she wants to be alone.” Rarity gently set the box of telescope parts on the ground to give her magic a slight reprieve.  “But wouldn’t this be one of the first places Twilight would look for her?  Surely Applejack wouldn’t just run home knowing that.” “Relax, on the way here I flew up a little and spotted Twilight on Main Street.  Besides, it’s not like Applejack would even be thinking about that considering what happened...”  Rainbow trailed off and glanced anxiously at the barn.  “"Look, we shouldn't waste anymore time, Rares. Just come on already.” “Right behind you,” Rarity called as Rainbow began trotting over to the barn.  Her horn then flickered, and she picked up the box again before following Dash. I still can’t believe this is actually happening, Rarity mused to herself.  Applejack really must be infatuated with Twilight.  The notion was actually quite adorable when she thought about it.  If it weren’t for the current situation, she would probably be shrieking with joy considering what it could mean for the two of them. When they arrived at the foot of the barn door, Rarity noticed it was partially nudged open, as if somepony had recently gone in, but was in such a rush that they didn't make sure the door shut all the way.  She looked to Rainbow, who was already pushing the her way in. With a shrug to herself, she followed. The first thing to hit Rarity as they walked inside was the disgusting, musty odor. It's stinging, nearly palpable scent originated from several sources, and with just a tiny inhale she was able to discern them all.  Rusty tools.  Manure.  Overripe fruit.  Dried hay. Instinctively she pushed a hoof over her nose to block the vile concoction of stenches.  She wanted to gag as well, but forced that urge downward in exchange for the more lady-like reaction of holding her breath.  When Rainbow Dash looked back to her, she saw Rarity's slightly swollen cheeks and rolled her eyes. "Wuss." About to offer a retort, Rarity found herself cut off by a muffled noise near the back of the barn.  She shared a look with Rainbow, and then they both slinked over in the direction of the sound. The barn was chocked full of hay bales and apple crates, each doing their part to hide them as they slowly crept closer to the sound.  When they reached a corner, Rarity peered around first, poking as little of her face as necessary over the side.  What she saw was worthy of an eye widening. It was Applejack, with her face buried in one of the bales.  From this angle tears were visible as they glistened down her cheeks.  A spasmodic sob gripped her body, but was stifled by the sea of hay.  One hoof ruefully pounded on the bale with the rhythm of a metronome, and another wrapped itself around her chest, cradling her heart. Rarity turned back, feeling like an interloper for seeing Applejack in such a miserable state.  She felt a poke on her shoulder, and turned to Rainbow Dash who was looking at her with a silent question: What’s going on? “She’s crying,” Rarity mouthed, fearing the tiniest amount of volume would alert Applejack of their presence. “What?” Rainbow mouthed back, her eyebrows furrowed with confusion. “She’s crying,” Rarity silently enunciated, making sure to stress each syllable of her lip formations this time.   “What?” This time Rainbow spoke at barely a whisper. “I don’t…” she gestured to Rarity’s mouth and her ears. Groaning internally, Rarity mouthed, “you’re an idiot.” There was a brief pause as Rainbow Dash blinked a few times.  “What?” “She’s crying!” Rarity hissed. Rainbow’s body stiffened at the words.  Her head jerked up and she brushed passed Rarity.  She was too fast to be stopped, which made Rarity cringe.  She still followed after her, worried that whatever Rainbow was about to do would amount to little more than poking a nest of wasps with a stick. “AJ, are you all right?” Rarity wanted to smack Rainbow across the face.  She’s sobbing into a hay bale for pony’s sake!  How do you think she is?  Cheerful?  Perky?  Delighted? "Go away," she mumbled into the hay bale. "Ah, AJ, come on." Rainbow made the mistake of putting her hoof on Applejack's shoulder in an attempt to comfort her. Her head whipped around when she felt the touch, her bloodshot eyes still able to dole out icy glares.  “Ya know, ya got some nerve comin’ here after what ya did, Rainbow.” Releasing Applejack and digging her hooves into the ground, Rainbow was hit across the face with the accusation.  “Look, Applejack, I messed up big time.  But I’m sorry, okay?” “Ya think Ah give a damn about yer apology?”  Applejack’s voice was lost somewhere between anger and sorrow, but both were palpable as she spoke.  “Do ya have any idea what ya made me do? Do ya even know what it felt like?  Not only are whatever slim chances Ah had with Twi gone now, but mah friendship with her might as well be over too.” “Well, probably…” Rainbow murmured.  Rarity’s jaw went slack at the appalling lack of tact. In reply, Applejack reeled back and smacked Dash across the face. "Ow! Geeze you hit harder than Rarity!" “Ya know what?  At least one good thang came outta this.  It’s mah turn!”  Applejack jabbed her hoof on Rainbow’s chest so hard that she stumbled back.  “And that means it’s payback time.  Ah dare ya ta give Rarity a hornjob!” Rainbow's mouth was agape. "Uh... n-now wait a minute... I-I, er..." Compelled to intervene, Rarity cleared her throat.  Loudly. Applejack’s eyes bulged from their sockets when she saw her and she flinched slightly.  “Uh… R-Rarity… hi… Ah didn’t hear ya come in.” “Yes, clearly.”  Rarity forced herself not to become angry, recalling the trauma that Applejack had just gone through.  “We’ll have to move this discussion of your… overly sensual dares involving me to some other date.  I believe a much more important matter is at hoof.” “A-all right.”  Applejack looked to the ground, unsure of how to proceed. “Good.  Now then...” Rarity took in a deep breath.  “What exactly were you thinking?” “Uh… what?”   “Applejack, dare or no, how could you just leave Twilight standing there like that without so much as a single explanation?” Her lower lip curled into her mouth, and she bit down before responding.  “Ah… Ah couldn’t face her after that because…” “Because why?” Applejack looked from her to the floor before responding.  “Girls, ya might want to sit down fer this.” Rarity and Rainbow Dash exchanged a glance.  Rainbow shrugged. “A’ight.” She plopped herself on the floor of the barn. Looking at the ground herself, Rarity noted the dust, grime, shriveled up apple skins, and other health code violations.  “I’ll stand, thank you.” Applejack inhaled deeply and sighed.  “All right then, but just know that what Ah’m ‘bout ta say is real shockin’” “Very well.” “Ah’m serious, Rarity.  Ya’re not gonna expect this; ya might want ta take a seat.” “Oh, just spit it out already!” Rainbow blurted.  Applejack’s eyes narrowed. “Fine.”  She bowed her head and murmured something unintelligible. Rarity leaned in, cupping a hoof to her ear.  “What was that?” Applejack swallowed as an anxious sweat formed on her forehead.  “A-Ah... Ah have a crush on Twilight!  There, Ah said it.” There was a brief pause, as both Rarity and Rainbow Dash blinked, expecting more. “Is that all?” Rainbow asked. Her facial features compressed into an irate scrunch.  “What do ya mean, ‘is that all’?  That was everythin’.  Ah have a crush on Twi… isn’t that even a bit of a doozy?” Rainbow Dash shrugged.  “Not really, no.” “What she means to say,” Rarity interjected, noting the scowl forming on the farmer’s face.  “Is that we already knew that.” “Ya… ya did?”  Applejack’s cheeks bloomed red.  “H-how?” “No offense, darling, but… you are not the most subtle of ponies.”  Rarity waved a dismissive hoof on the subject.  “That isn’t important though.  This should be a happy occasion.  You and Twilight… oh, I can picture it now!” “Uh… thanks, Rares, but Ah don’t really see the happiness in what just happened.” “Yes, we will need to address the elephant in the room, so to speak.” “Are you calling me fat?” Rainbow asked. Rarity rolled her eyes, choosing not to dignify that question with a response. “Before we do, I am quite curious. How did your little crush come about?” Applejack moved her gaze to the floor, her blush intensifying.  “Ta be honest, Ah couldn’t tell for the longest time mahself.  Ah’ve always been so comfortable ‘round her that it never occurred ta me how much Ah’ve been fallin’ fer her.  A few days ago when I was buckin’ some trees Ah let mah mind wander an’ well… it always seemed ta wander back ta Twi.  It was then that Ah knew.” “Oh, how romantic!”  Rarity squeed a little to herself.  “You know, the two of you would be so adorable together!” “Yeah well… don’t get any ideas lodged in yer brain.  Mah chances with her are farther south than a penguin without a compass thanks ta Dash.”  Applejack fixed her with another glare.  Rainbow looked away shamefully. Rarity nodded, feeling her small burst of glee subside.  “You are absolutely right, darling.  We must do something about this little debacle.” Applejack’s eyes darted from the ground to Rarity.  “Anythang ya can think of ta fix this would be great.  Ah just don’t want Twilight mad at me.” “Oh I’m sure she isn’t mad in the slightest,” Rarity assured her.  “Perhaps a tad bewildered–” “A tad?” Rainbow interrupted. “–But I’m sure it’s nothing that a good bit of talking it out won’t cure.” It took her a moment, but Applejack nodded.  “Y-yeah… maybe if ya just explain it was a prank, she’ll be fine with it... maybe.” Something about her wording seemed off to Rarity.  “What do you mean if I explain it?  Surely you can…” “No, Ah can’t!”  Applejack quivered slightly.  “What if she asks why Rainbow dared me ta do that in the first place?  Ah couldn’t lie to her… Ah’d have to tell her!” “What’s the matter with that?” Rainbow asked. Both Rarity and Applejack shot her a look. Applejack shook her head, and said, “Clearly ya’ve never had a crush before.” Rainbow groaned. Applejack turned back to Rarity.  “Ya get it, don’tcha?  Ah can’t just tell Twi that Ah like her.  What if she doesn’t feel the same?  Or laughs in mah face?  Or gits Princess Celestia ta banish me ta the moon so she doesn’t have ta look at me anymore?”  Applejack sank to the ground, huddling up in a ball. “Come on now.” Rarity offered a comforting hoof pat on her shoulder.  “Do you honestly believe Twilight would do any of those things?” “Well… the first one seems likely.” Rarity sighed.  “Applejack, I won’t lie to you.  There is a chance Twilight will not return your affections, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try.  You two have an honest shot at happiness together.” Applejack's ears perked up a bit. “Ya... ya really think so?” “Totally,” Rainbow hopped in.  “I bet you two could–” Applejack whipped her head to face her.  “Shut it, Rainbow.”   Taken aback by the angry demand, Rainbow Dash slowly closed her jaw and retreated a few steps.  It seemed to Rarity that she had forgotten how enraged Applejack was, or at least had been hoping they had moved past it already. Turning back to Rarity, Applejack asked, “So, do ya think Ah have a chance?” “Yes,” she replied instantly, knowing she couldn’t afford to hesitate.   “Thanks.”  Applejack stood back up.  Tears still lined the rims of her eyes, but she was able to blink them back.  “Ah owe ya one.” Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. “Think nothing of it.  Now, I suppose I should be off.  Somepony’s going to have to stop Twilight from tearing apart the town to find you.” “She’s really doin’ that?” Applejack asked, face paling. “No, no.” Rarity gave a short laugh.  “There’s no way she’s… well, at least, I don’t believe she’s currently, ahem, in the midst of that.”  She glanced to the barn doors.  “Perhaps I should find her before she does attempt something of that nature.” “And ya’re gonna talk ta her… right?” “I’ll explain everything,” Rarity promised. “Not everythin’!  Ya can’t tell her ‘bout mah crush, please!” As Applejack’s desperate puppy dog eyes pleaded, Rarity felt her resolve dampen.  “All right.  I won’t inform Twilight of your feelings.” “Thank ya, Rares.” “I won’t say anything either,” Rainbow interjected, earning yet another glare from Applejack. “I do have one question though,” Rarity said in an effort to prevent a potential outburst from either.  Attention swiveled back to her.  “What are you going to do regarding your crush?” “Ah… Ah hadn’t put much thought in it.  Ah’ve just been too nervous ta think 'bout that.” "I see."  Rarity thought to herself for a moment.  Clearly Applejack is not going to make the first move on her own.  Perhaps if I give her a bit of assistance...  An idea bloomed in her head, and a giddy grin rippled across her face.  Later, Rarity would admit her idea was less like assisting and more like meddling, but at the moment it seemed like a wonderful idea.  "Well, I can explain the situation to her, without mentioning your feelings, of course." Applejack breathed a sigh of relief.  "Thank ya, Rarity." "However," she continued.  "You two still need to talk.  I happen to know Twilight intends to go stargazing tonight.  Perhaps the two of you can meet up then?" Her hoof absently traced a circle on the floor.  "Ah don't know..." Sensing the need for a gentle nudge, Rarity turned to Rainbow Dash for a little help.  It took less than three seconds before that plan turned sour. "Relax, AJ, we'll be with you to make sure everything goes smoothly." No!  Rarity tensed in agitation as she heard the words.  Rainbow Dash, are you dense?  Of course, she knew the answer to her question was yes, but that didn’t soothe her anger.  Applejack would have the perfect opportunity to court Twilight at such a romantic venue, but the atmosphere would be killed if more than two ponies were there.  Especially if Rainbow Knows-Nothing-About-Romance Dash was going to be there. Unfortunately, Applejack seemed inclined to the idea.  “Yeah… Ah think havin’ y’all there would make it better,” she glanced at Rainbow.  “Er… or maybe just Rarity.” Rainbow’s jaw clenched visibly.  “Look, AJ, it wasn’t cool of me to dare you to kiss Twilight, all right?  I’m sorry.  You can stay angry at me if you want, but I still want to help.” Applejack’s mouth remained a folded line and she looked away.  “Fine, Ah guess you can come to.” Rarity realized that the decision that they would be attending had just been finalized, and she had yet to throw in her two cents.  “Now wait a moment.  Applejack, do you honestly think that having the two of us present would help you in anyway?” “Yes,” Applejack said with no hesitation.  “And Ah can’t thank you enough for agreein’ to come too.” I hope you’re not this pushy when you finally ask Twilight out.  “Very well,” Rarity relented.  At the very least she could attempt to nudge things a little bit more in the right direction if need be. “Thanks, that takes a real load off of mah shoulders.”  Applejack wiped her eyes. “I’ll send Rainbow over to tell you when the stargazing is all set up.” “You’ll send me?” Rainbow raised an eyebrow.  A quick glare from Rarity sent it scurrying down.  “Er... Okay, I guess.” “All right then, everything's settled. Let’s go now before Twilight really does rip up the entire town.”  Rarity nodded a good bye to Applejack and headed for the barn door, eager to be able to inhale without the motley of stenches currently surrounding her. Rainbow Dash followed her, ducking to avoid the box of telescope parts as it levitated up next to Rarity.  As they walked outside, Rarity allowed the clean air to wash over, pausing to inhale for perhaps a bit too long. Coughing awkwardly, Rainbow Dash drew her attention.   “Yes?” “Do you think I can get some food before we talk to Twilight?  Between the spa, the dares, and Applejack’s little make out session, I kinda sorta… haven’t eaten anything all day.”  To emphasize the point, her stomach moaned like a beached whale. Rarity was about to shoot down the request when she felt how hollow her own stomach was.  “Come to think of it, I haven’t eaten since breakfast myself.  I suppose a slight detour wouldn’t hurt…” “Cool, but I’m picking the place.” Rainbow Dash hopped forward, taking the lead.  Rarity was reluctant, but followed anyway, propelled by her own hunger. Rainbow Dash tore into her hayburger, a ring of ketchup sticking around her mouth as she did.  She chewed on the crisp hay and fresh bun for a few seconds and went in for a second bite halfway through swallowing the first.  When that bite was also gone, she only had a mere sliver left.  She popped it into her mouth and licked the savory combination of ketchup and grease from her hooves.  To finish, she sucked in a deep breath, put a hoof to her diaphragm, and released a belch worthy of cracking windows.   She looked up to see Rarity across the table, face frozen in a look stuck somewhere between horror and disgust.  Her eyebrows were at opposing heights on her forehead, her pupils mere specks, her nose wrinkled and curled up, and her jaw slack with a fork daintily levitating next to it with some salad in its grasp. “Uh…" An aftershock burp escaped her lips, and Rainbow put a hoof to her mouth. "Excuse me?” Rarity slowly blinked, returning to reality.  “Dear Celestia, Rainbow, I had no idea your table manners were this atrocious!” “Aw, cut me some slack, Rares, I was hungry.” She scoffed.  “If you were hungry, you wouldn’t have taken us to get some real food instead of a subpar fast food restaurant.”  She stabbed her salad, impaling a few more of the soggy leaves with her fork. The two of them were reclining in the open air seating area of The Sloppy Hayburger, a restaurant that Rainbow loved to help uphold its name.  The prices were low, and the food quality was at the level of microwaveable pizzas, so as far as she was concerned it was the whole package. They were the only ones opting to eat outside, at Rarity’s insistence.  If she was going to be forced to eat fast food, she was going to distance herself from it at the same time; and that included ordering the only remotely healthy item on the menu, a feat that still baffled Rainbow Dash. “This is real food.  Processed to hell and back, but still, technically, real.”  She grabbed a hoofful of fries and slathered them in ketchup before shoving them into her mouth. Rarity shuddered at the action.  “If you’re using an immensely loose definition of the word, I suppose so.”  She poked at her salad some. “So, do you know why Applejack doesn’t want us telling Twilight about her crush?” Rainbow asked when she swallowed. Rarity’s fork hit the plate.  “You honestly don’t know?”  Rainbow shook her head.  “She’s nervous, obviously.  There’s no way to predict what Twilight will do when she finds out.” “I still don’t get it.”  Rainbow dragged a napkin across her face, smearing the ketchup rather than removing it.  “I mean… hypothetically, say I had a crush on you.” Chewing some salad leaves, Rarity narrowed her eyes.  “Okay…” “Well, wouldn’t I feel better to just come out and say ‘I love you’ as opposed to holding it in?” She nearly choked on the leaves.  “What?  Rainbow, where did you get love from?” "Isn't that what a crush is?  You know, being in love and all that mushy junk?" She gaped incredulously.  "You've really never had a crush before, haven't you?" Half of Rainbow's mouth smirked.  "Do I look like the type of pony that gets crushes?" Rarity rolled her eyes.  "You don't need to be a certain type.  No pony is more susceptible to get a crush than any other.  And no, having a crush does not necessarily mean you are in love; it’s more of an infatuation than anything else."  She paused.  "Wait... You thought Applejack was in love with Twilight, and you still dared her to do the kiss?" Rainbow winced.  "It's not as harsh as it sounds.  Like I said, I expected her to cave in a second later." "It still sounds rather harsh if you ask me." "Oh come on Rarity, it was just a little teasing.  Good friends tease each other all the freakin' time." Rarity glanced at her salad, then back to Rainbow Dash.  "You've never teased me before." She blinked.  “Uh…” “Girls, there you are!”  Rainbow Dash was saved from having to respond when Twilight Sparkle ran up to there table.  A mixture of sweat frazzled hair, and slightly labored breathing let them know she’d been running around for quite some time.  “Please tell me you’ve seen Applejack somewhere.” Setting her fork down, Rarity responded.  “Oh, hello Twilight.  We um… have run into Applejack, actually.” “Really?  Can you tell me where?  I really need to talk to her.”  Twilight bit her lip. “Yes, about the… incident between you two.”  Rarity looked to Rainbow Dash.  “I believe she has something to tell you.” Twilight turned her focus to Rainbow, trying to appear patient through her tapping hooves and constantly looking over her shoulder to see if she might spot Applejack.   Gee, thanks for putting the spotlight on me, Rarity.  She cleared her throat.  “So about the whole… AJ kissing you thing…” “Yeah?” “I kinda dared her to do it.” Rainbow wasn’t really sure what emotion flashed across Twilight’s face when she said the words.  It appeared and was masked within the span of a single second. “I see.”  Twilight chewed the inside of her lip.  “So you’re the reason she kissed me…” “Well she could’ve backed out of it, but–” She felt Rarity’s hoof kick her from under the table, a reminder not to say too much. “Darling,” Rarity interjected, likely hoping to prevent her from pondering what Rainbow just said.  “Perhaps it would be best if you and Applejack had an opportunity to talk.” “Well, yeah, that’s why I’ve been trying to find her.  I just…” she trailed off. “How about the two of you meet up later tonight?  You were planning on going stargazing weren’t you?  She can just meet you at the spot and you two can have a chat.” “And we'll be there too,” Rainbow added, remembering their promise to Applejack.  She felt another swift kick. Twilight’s eyebrows furrowed.  “Why would you two come?” “Because we… like stargazing,” Rarity poorly covered. “Since when?”  Twilight looked from her to Rainbow.  “It’s been months since either of you came to a meteor shower with me, and that was only because everypony else came too.” “Uh–” “What Rarity means is, we’re trying to get into it, ‘cause we know how much you like it.”  Rainbow offered a grin to Twilight and a wink to Rarity.  “Right, Rares?” “Oh, absolutely,” Rarity said, picking up on the lie. Twilight blinked, giving the idea some thought.  “All right...  As long as you two don’t interrupt my talk with Applejack then I guess it won’t hurt.” “Perfect!” Rarity clapped with delight.  “We’ll see you there then.  Oh, and one more thing.”  Rarity’s horn sparked to life and the telescope parts levitated into view.  “Here you go, darling.” “Oh my gosh!  I’d completely forgotten about this.”  Twilight’s own magical aura enveloped the box.  “Thanks Rarity.” “Think nothing of it.  See you tonight.” “Bye girls.”  Twilight trotted off, her hoof falls heavy with anticipation for later tonight. Dash waited until she was out of hearing range before turning back to Rarity.  “We like stargazing?  Really?  That’s the best you could do?” “Forgive me for not being a master of impromptu excuses,” Rarity said.   “Whatever.  So now that they’re going to be talking, what’s your plan?” “My plan?”  Rarity placed a hoof over her chest innocently.  “What do you mean by that?” Rainbow rolled her eyes.  “I’m dense, but not that dense.  You could’ve easily dragged AJ out of the barn, marched her up to Twilight, and had her rattle off that bullcrap dare excuse.  But instead you want them stargazing?  Come on, what’s the plan?” Caught, Rarity folded down her ears.  “Truth be told… I’m hoping a little romantic atmosphere will coax Applejack into admitting her feelings to Twilight. If that proves to be too little, I'll try something else to get her to admit them.” Rainbow thought about that for a moment.  “Ok, I’m in.” “What?” “I’m in,” Rainbow reiterated.  “I want AJ to be happy, Rares… and to not be mad at me anymore.  This should kill two birds with one stone, right?” Her bottom lip curled into her mouth.  “I suppose… as long as you do what I tell you to, then everything should go smoothly.” “If it helps, I’ll do it.” Rarity smiled.  “Fabulous.”