The Married Life

by Legacy55


Draconequus Hunting

“I’m sure he’s got to be around here somewhere… Discord, where are you?!” Twilight yelled down the distorted hallway they had just entered. They knew they were nearing the Draconequus, as the hallways were becoming more and more confusing. Everything was upside down now, and the two mares were walking along the empty ceiling.

“Is the net ready, Pinkie?” Twilight asked, turning to the earth pony behind her.

“Yes, ma’am!” The pink pony replied, a large net dragging along behind her.

“Good. So, this is the plan. When Discord comes along, you throw the net up there…” She pointed to the track below them. “…er, down there… Argh! This place is driving me crazy!”

While Twilight tried to figure out just where up and down were, Discord turned the corner and sped down the hallway. Seeing her chance, Pinkie Pie dropped the net. Gravity should have pulled the net down and trapped the Draconequus, but because of his reality breaking magic, it stopped halfway and fell back down on the mares, trapping them.

“Ha! Nice one, girls! Better luck next time! Bwahaha!” Discord turned back for a moment to taunt them. He turned another corner and disappeared from sight.

“Nice one, Pinkie…” Twilight remarked sarcastically, her hooves flailing in a vain attempt to break free from the net.

“Well, sorry for doing what you told me to do!” Pinkie Pie screamed back.

Twilight stopped her struggling and let out a sigh. After a moment of concentrating, the net glowed a light purple and lifted off of them. She threw it to the side before slamming her hoof against the ground. “If Discord thinks were going to give up this easily, he’s got another thing coming!”

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“Alright, Pinkie. That should be deep enough!” Twilight called down the large hole in front of her.

Pinkie Pie let out an exhausted sigh before throwing her dull shovel to the side. Using her excellent acrobatic skills, she leaped out of the hole and landed beside Twilight.

“Hehe,” Twilight grinned, rubbing her hooves together mischievously, “Discord won’t know what hit him!” The unicorn pulled out a black tarp out of seemingly nowhere and placed it over the hole, efficiently camouflaging it. “Now all we have to do is wait…”

“Uh, Twilight? Why is there dirt under the floor anyway? Isn’t this all made of stone?” Pinkie Pie asked, tapping the ground with her hoof.

“Discord turned part of this place upside down, and you think THAT’S confusing?! Just hide behind the bush over there. This will work perfectly…” Twilight ordered before the two jumped behind it. They sat quietlu for a few minutes, watching the empty hallway cautiously.

Before long, Discord came racing down the hallway, and the two mares watched with excitement as he neared their pitfall. Twilight let out a victorious cheer when he reached it… however… the Draconequus passed over it as if it were solid ground.

“WHAT?!” She blustered before jumping out of the bush and rushing over to the hole. “How is that even possible?!” She asked in disbelief, looking from the pitfall to Discord, who had stepped off of his bike. Twilight cautiously placed her hoof onto the tarp. Feeling that it was stable, she walked onto it.

Pinkie Pie jumped out of her cover and hurried over to the unicorn. “Hey, I thought you said this would work!” She scolded at Twilight before stepping on to the pitfall. The ground immediately gave out, and the two mares landed at the bottom of the deep hole in a heap.

“HA!” Discord poked his head over the side and laughed at the two mares. “What did I tell you, Pinkie? You’re getting fat!” He taunted before leaving them.

Pinkie Pie slowly got to her hooves, and looked at Twilight with a scowl. The unicorn jumped back as she looked at her friend. Her usual poofy hair was now completely straight, and she gave off a very frightening appearance.

“Uh, P-P-Pinkie? Are you alright?”

“Oh, I’m just fine, Twilight…” She replied calmly, her mouth turning into a creepy grin. “I’M JUST TRAPPED DOWN A HOLE BECAUSE OF YOU!” She snarled, starling Twilight once again.

“Pinkie, maybe you should calm down a second and th-”

“NO! I’m in charge from now on! Got it, Twilight? I’ve have enough of your stupid plans!”

Oh, this isn’t good… Rainbow Dash told me she was acting like this before, back when she thought we hated her parties… If so, who knows what she’ll do next… Twilight thought while she cautiously watched the pink pony.

Pinkie Pie gave her another creepy grin before continuing. “Just watch, Discord is going to regret ever calling me fat! Hehe...”

Maybe it wasn’t such a good idea, bringing Pinkie along…

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“Uh… sister? Are you alright?” Luna asked as she pushed open the door to Celestia’s study. The room was a mess of papers, and the Sun Princess was in the middle of it.

“Luna?” Celestia said before looking up from a stack of papers. “Please, leave me alone! I have enough to worry about as it is…” She pleaded while rubbing her aching head with one hoof. The last thing she needed was her sister complaining about something.

“Why would you ever think that I’d bother you? I was just wondering how long it would be before dinner, that’s all…” Luna said innocently, trying her best to keep back her devilish smile.

“Never, at this rate!” She shouted, startling Luna. “Because of Discord, the cooks can’t even start the meal! I’ve got Twilight trying to fix the east wing, but I doubt she’s having very much luck…”

“What?! But you can’t cancel this! I have so much planned- er… I mean, I was so excited!” Luna let an awkward laugh.

Celestia shook her head as she returned to her papers. “Well, unless he puts the east wing back anytime soon, I’ll have to. Maybe this is better anyway; all he would have done was embarrass me…”

Before Luna could reply, a knock came at the door, and then a guard quickly rushed in. “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna! There’s an urgent problem in the east wing!” He wheezed, holding his aching chest.

Celestia sighed. “Luna, could you please take care of this? I have way too much to do right now…”

“Fine, but this dinner is happening! I assure you of that, sister!” Luna declared before following the armored guard out of the room.

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“PINKIE! Don’t you think this is going a little too far?!” Twilight yelled as she watched the roaring flames climb higher and higher along the walls.

“Nope! This is war Twilight, and he called me fat!” Pinkie Pie barked back as she admired her work. The fire she started had already grown at a tremendous rate, and was consuming more and more of the hallway by the second. Before long it would engulf the entire castle.

“So you’re burning down the castle?! I want to stop Discord too, but this is just crazy!”

Pinkie Pie cackled before turning to Twilight. “I’m in charge here, Twilight, remember?! Now just sit back and let me handle this…”

Her friend was really scaring her at this point, as she had never seen Pinkie so angry… or crazy. She wanted to do something, but she was afraid of what Pinkie would do if she tried to stop her.

“I’m sure Discord will get here any second…” Pinkie Pie said after a minute of watching the dancing flames. They had consumed the entire hallway by now and were still spreading. The temperature in the room continued to climb, and Twilight had to repeatedly wipe the sweat from her forehead.

“Pinkie, just how is setting the castle on fire going to stop Discord?! We have to stop this now, before it burns the entire castle down!” Twilight pleaded, hoping to get anything from her insane friend.

The pink pony turned away from the flames and growled at Twilight. “As soon as Discord sees this, he’ll show up, and then we just make him fix everything! It’s full proof, unlike your stupid plans!”

Before Twilight could question her friend’s ridiculous plan, she heard the sound of running hooves. She spun around, and sure enough two ponies ran into the hall. The first was a pegasus in golden armor, and the second was none other than Princess Luna. Her jaw dropped upon the sight of the huge flames.

“WHAT IN EQUESTRIA IS GOING ON HERE?!” She yelled, looking from Twilight to Pinkie Pie.

“Uh, P-P-Princess Luna! Well, we were just trying to… uh… catch Discord, and… well…” Twilight stuttered, her voice becoming weaker as she talked.

“Set the castle on fire?! Really, Twilight Sparkle, I would imagine you would have a better plan then this…” Luna shook her head at her, giving her a disappointed frown.

“But this wasn’t me! This was Pinkie; she went crazy when Discord called her fat!” Twilight leaned and lowered her voice to a quiet whisper. “I’m no psychiatrist, but I think she’s a little sensitive about her weight…”

“So, she decides to burn down the castle?! Celestia tells me that I overreact to things, but this is just ridiculous!”

At this point, Pinkie was happily skipping in a circle, watching with a grin as the fire continued to grow.

“Well, don’t just stand there!” Luna barked at Twilight. “Let’s put this out!”

“Um… well, that’s the problem, your highness…” The unicorn replied timidly. “I’m not really sure what Pinkie will do if we put this out. She started this just because Discord called her fat after all! I’m scared of her, to be honest…”

Luna sighed and shook her head. “Scared of your own friend, Twilight? Fine, step aside. Let me handle this, for I’m not afraid of a simple earth pony.” The alicorn pushed her to the side and stopped in front of Pinkie.

“Oh, hey there, Princess!” Pinkie Pie smiled and turned to Luna, noticing her for the first time. “Beautiful, isn’t it?” She asked, turning back to the fire.

“While I certainly want to get some payback on Discord, burning down the castle is not the way to do it. I’m fixing this immediately, and I don’t care what you-”

Before Luna could put out the fire with her magic, a flash filled the air and they all turned to look at the surprised Draconequus who had appeared. He pulled off his shades and looked at the flames with wide eyes. “THIS is your plan, Twilight? Burning down the castle?! Geez, and I thought I was insane…”

With lightning speed Pinkie Pie pounced at him, and they two of them crashed against the ground. She forced her face against his and snarled. “SO, I’M FAT HUH?! TAKE IT BACK!”

“P-P-Pinkie?” Discord stuttered, scared to death of the pink pony. “I d-d-didn’t mean it, promise!”

“I don’t believe you!” She growled while giving him a cold stare.

“I’m s-sorry! You’re not fat; in fact, you’re the thinnest pony I know!” Discord quickly yelled, which caused Luna's jaw to drop. She had never once heard the Draconequus apologize for something he had done, so she could hardly believe what he had just said.

“You’re going to fix all of this, and you’re going to stop acting all lame too, you got that?!”

After a moment of thinking Discord sighed. “Fine… I won’t make fun of anypony anymore, and I’ll stop acting cool… But I’m not taking off the jacket!”

She eyed him fiercely, and after a moment Discord sighed again. “Alright, I won’t wear the jacket either…”

Upon hearing that, Pinkie Pie’s hair returned to its usual poofy appearance. She jumped off of the Draconequus’s chest and walked over to Twilight, grinning as she went. “See, Twilight? I told you it would work!” She chirped with her voice no longer creepy.

Twilight’s jaw dropped. Her friend never ceased to surprise her… “So, are you going to fix this, Discord?” She asked, turning to the still stunned Draconequus.

“Huh?” He glanced over at her. “Oh… uh, yes…” He snapped his talons, and immediately the fire disappeared and the hallway returned to its previous state.

Twilight sighed, happy to finally see the east wing back to normal. “Right, now that that’s done with…” She glanced over at a nearby clock, and nearly had a heart attack. “Oh no! I was supposed to meet the others twenty minutes ago! Let’s go, Pinkie!” She grabbed Pinkie by the hoof and rushed out of the hallway. This left Discord, Luna and the lone guard in a rather awkward air.

“So… see you at dinner?” Discord asked while twiddling his fingers.

“Um… yes…” Luna replied. The Draconequus teleported away, and she began the walk to her room. Along the way, she thought about how this new change would affect her plans of revenge…

Well, this changes things quite a bit. With Discord back to his old self, it’ll be hard to get some payback, but I think I can still manage. I have to say, it was funny watching how scared he was of Pinkie Pie! I’ve never seen him so worried in my life!