‘Oh sleep, why must you elude me when I need you the most’
Walking to the school house at seven in the morning isn’t my most favorite part of the day. Still it has it’s peace about it, at least I’m able to get from point A to point B without any idle banter. One can only take so much of Lyra’s fanatical conspiracies or Pinkie Pie’s equally fanatical… Well everything. I swear I catch the both of them at the same time, I’ll probably have a heart attack on the spot or at least start foaming at the mouth.
No matter, it’s quiet now and Celestia’s sun is just getting ready to rise. I’ve always liked to watch the sunrise in the morning, especially from right across the market where it’s the most beautiful. I can’t help but to take a moment to admire the sight.
Trotting through the market, I can hear a lot more bustling than usual for this time in the morning. Yea, every now and then there's the occasional vendor setting up early to beat the competition. I couldn’t place it, but I knew I would curse my curiosity. Turning the corner to reveal the entirety of the market, I tense up at what I see. Big Mac and Fluttershy both setting up the Apple stall while exchanging small talk. Mentally cursing myself to Tartarus for the fact I thought I had supposedly buried that fear of crossing those two already to only find out I was sorely mistaken. There's no way I can cross them, maybe I can scale a building or something.
My fears would be realized instantly, because in the middle of their unpacking an apple fell off Big Mac’s large cart and rolled in my general direction. Even though it was no where near me, it was still enough for the two lovebirds to divert their attention right in my direction. Catching me standing there stock still like I was turned to stone by a Cockatress. The direct eye contact was unbearable and I couldn’t tell if the two of them were none the wiser about my problem. It was now or never, letting out an internal sigh I put on my best face for the hundredth time and walked right in their direction.
‘So far so good. Right hoof, Left hoof… Great I haven’t forgotten how to walk. Ha, take that fears! No pony can stop this strong and independent mare… NO, WAIT!”
My internal motivational speech was instantly halted by the fact that I complete ignored that BLASTED apple on the ground. It took nothing but a second for my front left hoof to roll right off the thing causing my face to connect with the oh so loving ground with a sickening thud. Amazingly I was spared a visit to Minuettes office this week, however I managed to catch mouth full of dirt.
“Oh my… A-are you ok?!” sigh, even her trying to sound all shock and frantic comes out cute.
“...”
“Cherilee?” Oh not you to now. Haven’t you put me through enough you big red heartbreaker!
“...”
BWAHAAAHAA!
You have got to be kidding me, there was no way that SHE saw that to! Still sprawled out on the dirt road I turn my attention to the sky to see exactly what I had expected… The same hotshot cyan pegasus that left me bewildered in my classroom last week. Now she’s sitting up there laughing her flank off after watching me eat the road.
“Rainbow Dash! That’s not nice at all…” Fluttershy cutely scolded.
“Enope.”
Just as before, Rainbow Dash was lounging on a floating cloud that was suspiciously right in my general area. Either way it goes, it’s strange that she would be up this early in the morning. I mean I don’t know her all that well, but I do know that she isn’t well known for being the early bird. Now I knew this couldn’t get any worse… For me at least.
“Oh there you are Rainbow, are you up early to apologize to those fillies?” I say nonchalantly trying my best to dust the dirt off my coat.
Rainbow Dash’s devious smile was instantly wiped clean as soon as those words left my mouth. In effect she turned back around and chose to ignore me while utop of her protective cloud. If I didn’t know any better, I’d think that was the same exact cloud from the other day. Then again all cloud look the same anyway, wait, why am I worried about clouds?
“If your not here to apologize, then why the hay are you here?” I’ll continue to prod her until I get an answer. And it looks like I won’t have to prod for much longer either, because I can see her shifting uncomfortably on her cloud.
“Yes Rainbow… Why ARE you here?” Whoa, why does Fluttershy of all ponies sound offended now?
I turn towards the disgustingly cute couple to see them both wearing a eerily concerned look. Now it’s obvious I’m in the middle of something. Something I’ll take my time to creep out off to avoid any unnecessary backlash. Celestia know’s I don’t need to get in the middle of anything else, especially after that Lyra situation. Bon Bon wouldn’t look at me for weeks, then it took her another month to talk to me. So lesson learn, now let me make like a magician and disappear.
A few hours later… Give or take
I shouldn’t have promised that Rainbow Dash would apologize after I contacted Filthy Rich and Iron Spoon to resolves this. It was obvious that the rainbow maned dunderhead wasn’t going to show and now I’m in a fine spot here… My thoughts was instantly derailed as Filthy coughed in his hoof to collect my attention, no matter how prideful I am, I honestly need to give him my undivided attention for many reason. One big on is that he is the main source of my income, so yea, no drifting off into lala land.
“Miss Cheerilee, we did not take precious time out of our schedule just to sit here in silence.” A rather miffed Iron Spoon spoke up, breaking the silence.
The deep bass in his voice was enough to make me flinch internally, I’d never would have thought a pony could have a voice deeper than Big Mac’s. Regaining my internal composition was no easy feat considering the pony that I had promised to show up has yet to be seen. Despite her appearance this morning, no pony had been able to track the mare, not even hyperactive time bomb Pinkie, which is bad.
“Eh…” SMOOTH MOVE!
“Eh?!” Filthy chimed in, clearly at the end of his wit as well with this foolishness. “Our daughters deserve an apology not only from you, but also that Pegasus as well…” He said while motioning to the two sickeningly innocent looking filles. “So where is she.”
“Meh,” That’s it, I give up… Bye bye job. “You know what, I’m done. The both of you can take your bratty kids home because that featherbrained simpleton isn’t gonna show up and I could care less.”
Getting up from my desk without another word, I was going to go home and well I don’t know and I don’t care. Trotting proudly to the door, finally feeling as though I one upped somepony I confidently swing the schoolhouse door open to only be frozen in place.
Right in front of the door stood Rainbow Dash covered in sweat and something else. From closer inspection it looked as though she had flown a thousand miles and back again. Her eyes were nearly hazed over with fatigue as my were filling with uncontrollable rage at the sight of the moron. Everything I just did was now proven to be pointless because if I would have waited for at least another second I wouldn’t have one less job. The exhausted pegasus muttered something incoherent under her breath before looking up at me with one of her ‘so called’ patinated grins.
“Hey there pretty lady… H- Hic Has anypony told you, told you that you have pretty eyes…” HOLY CRAP SHE’S DRUNK!!! “Whoa… Are you guess those two things parents… HAHAHA, ya look s-s-stupid!”
“EXCUSE ME!” Iron Spoon spat.
“You heard me big guy… Do you want a piece of this huh?” Rainbow slurred trotting ever so lightly past my frozen form, swaying her hips every step of the way to the disgusted stallions. “Because I-I’ll chew your heads off!”
‘That made no sense’... Wait, she’s drunk. Waking up from my frozen stupor I gallop in between the stallions and the drunk mare attempting to salvage whatever I can. Although I’m pretty sure my career and reputation in Ponyville is tarnished for good. No matter, I still had to try, as soon as Rainbow saw me in front of the two stallions she raised a single eyebrow at me. She tried one time to move me out the way, but I wouldn’t budge, after all I am still an Earth pony and I do spend a little time working out. That however got Rainbow to chuckle oddly after laying her hoofs on my coat.
“That’s one of the reasons I like mares ya know, their coats are always softer… It’s like your first time exper-experiment..ing with a cloud pillow.” Rainbow chirped, making kissy faces to no pony in particular.
‘What? wait… Am I blushing!’
Whatever was the reason, it was enough for the drunken Pegasus to weasel her way around me to look murderously at the two surprisingly quiet fillies and their parents. ‘My… life… is… over...’
“THAT’S IT! I’ll have no more of this, Cherilee I’ll make sure you’ll never see another school house again and YOU! You just better be lucky that you're under the princesses protection, otherwise I’d have you locked up for the longest time imaginable!” Filthy indignantly yelled at the both of us, ignoring the daggers that were protruding from Rainbows eyes.
Her drunken stupor however was briefly disturbed after she translated what the brown stallion said. Suddenly her magenta eyes grew somewhat softer after she turned her head to look at me with my ears splayed sitting in the corner like a punished filly. I don’t have the slightest clue on what’s going through that cyan psychopaths head and I really don’t want to find out. It can’t get any worse for the poor unemployed school teacher can it? Or maybe it can, I could see the two parents motion for their children to leave the classroom as the both of them stood to face Rainbow Dash.
No, there was no way this was going to turn into a fight. Please let this all be a figment of my distorted imagination once again. I need to defuse this… Actually I need to get out of here, hopefully they will tear each other into shreds and they won’t remember none of it, because I know that pegasus won’t.
“Hey hic Filthy, Ya know I wonder what good ol’ Princess Twi would think about you bribing the w-weather office for-” Rainbow found herself harshly sushed by the straight laced stallion. A small evil grin grew on the Pegasus as she knew her attempts at blackmail hit the spot.
“Now there's no need for games to be played Ms.Dash…”
“ALL I WANT IS A BUCKING APOLOGY!” Iron spoon bellowed, turning towards Filthy and Dash, completely unconcerned about their conversation.
“Well I’m sorry… I’m sorry that you are such a LAME dad that your bratty kid is being raise to be well a good for nothing, self centered, evil lacky to that equally good for nothing, self absorbed sore in the flank!” Rainbow Spat, quickly hitting a strong chord in the large grey stallion.
The insult to him and his daughter was enough for him to kick his chair back and step angrily towards the drunk confident mare. Standing a good foot over the rainbowed trouble maker, Iron Spoon gave the mare what I would think was one last chance to take everything she said back. ‘Pff, good luck buddy’
“Hit me with you-your best shot!” she spat with that same toothy grin.
Just before I or Filthy could interject, Irons right hoof craned back for a hook that would put a professional boxer to shame. But what caught me was the fact that Rainbow’s eyes were actually focused for that one moment… She clearly saw it coming, yet she wasn’t even raising a hoof to block it, let alone dodge it. In the solid second of confusion I was face with, Rainbow had her face connect with the stallions hoof and all I could hear was a dull smack. Everypony was quiet, Iron Spoon was still fuming and Filthy was taken back at the horror of the implications they could be facing. However Rainbow Dash was still standing and still looking directly into the stallions deep grey eyes.
“Ya know, if I wasn’t plastered right now I would have felt that…” She chuckled lightly, wiping a stream of blood that came down her snout.
“Iron you IDIOT, you just…” Filthy sputter. “Oh buck it, we have to go, NOW!”
After Rich spoke, Iron’s rage subsided for him to take in the entirety of what he just did. Not only did he just hit a mare, he also hit one of the princesses closest friends. There wasn’t much else to say, besides that if Rainbow ever opened her mouth about what happened here there would be a lot of trouble for every party. ‘excluding me’
“Hey don’t l-look like that, ya throw a wicked hook. Buuut, lets call it even if ya catch m-my drift. No pony goes to jail and no pony gets fired.”
“EH?!” There was no way Rainbow planed all that out and while drunk!
Both stallions looked at each other with weary expression plastered on the both of their faces. They knew they just killed any case they had against the pegasus and myself for that matter. Silently nodding to each other, the both of them exited the room without another word or glance in our direction. I highly doubt that situation is over, but I’ll take what I can get and if that means another week or two with a check in the mail than so be it.
My attention however was brought back to the once again stumbling Pegasus. I have no idea how she was able to pull herself together to play that little charade, but it’s over now.
“RAINBOW DASH!”
“Hey, hey hey, I-I’m right here ya know…”
“You need to-” I couldn’t even finish my scolding before Rainbow spawned a hoof in my mouth.
“Yea, I get it ok. Everypony is yelling at me to get over it ya know… But it’s hard alright, I’ve known her since flight school and I always had a crush on her!” Rainbow spoke, sullying her drunken mood. I had no idea what she was talking about, because it clearly had nothing to do with what I was getting ready to yell at her for.
“See, here is the hard part of being a fillyfoaler. Ya almost never know if the mare ya like swings that way unless they tell you… Annnd she told me she didn’t after I asked, So yea my heart or what was left of it was crushed! Even after all that time, I still had it! It never went away and it really does hurt to see her make kissy faces with that big guy!”
Whoa, she’s talking about Fluttershy! Rainbow had a crush on that shy mare, but she didn’t return the feelings. Talking about a tough pill to swallow, and that must have been why they all looked tense in the morning when she came around. I thought I had the worst of it, but she went for it and got shot down, just to only get burned a little more when her crush started dating that big old heart breaker. So it all make sense now, the hug from last week and her suspicious placement of clouds in the morning.
Looking up at the broken Pegasus I could see a tear restraining itself from falling down her cheeks. Shes a good one, because I would have already been a ball of unsalvageable misery by now. Maybe I should listen to lyra and open up to somepony for a change. Besides that minty unicorn I have little to no real friends and all my old friends from my days in Manehatten are long since gone. I can still remember Octavia and me hitting broadway and she would always go on about being a famous cellist and I would drone on about being a college professor… Heh, at least she got what she wanted and me…
“Hey booze breath, your not flying home like that are you?”
“Wha, ya think ya can fly better than me huh?” Oh the humor in drunk responses, she is missing the obvious fact that I’m an earth pony. Still might as well make the most of this.
“You may be the fastest Pegasus in all of Equestria, but I’m the fastest Earth Pony in the entire world!” I boastfully lied.
“OH YOU ARE ON!” Rainbow triumphantly roared as she spreaded her wings and shot like a bullet. Not out the window though, instead she veered right and rammed right into my desk head first.
Hitting the ground like a sack of apples, I would have thought she just killed herself if it wasn’t for the abhorred snores that started to escape her muzzle. Well she isn’t dead, but she is dead weight. There was no way she would be able to get home now, let alone wake up. With no other options I lazily trotted over to her sleeping form just to take in her distorted figure one last time before I shoveled her up with my muzzle to throw her on my back. It was an understatement to say I haven’t lifted anypony in a long while. Luckily for me Rainbow was a Pegasus and a extremely light Pegasus at that, still I could feel a little strain on back as she tried to get comfortable lying over me.
‘Well Cherilee I hope you know what you're doing taking a drunk mare home with you…’
“Nope!”