//------------------------------// // Getting Brained In Smelly Prance // Story: And Then There Were 10...Er...67 // by Grey Ghost //------------------------------// “I mean really, Jason,” Rarity scolded, adjusting her wings. “We’re on our honeymoon and you summon a Displaced?” “Yes I did, because we’re stuck in the middle of Prance, all because you had to see Photo Finish,” he countered, poking her muzzle. Rarity glanced at Chrysalis, looking for some help only for the empress to shake her head. “I’m with Jason on this. We’re stuck in Prance for a week just so you could go to some boring fashion show. So yes, hanging out with a Displaced sounds a lot more fun than going out into the smelly city again.” “Prance does not smell!” Rarity scoffed, growling a little. “Yes, yes it does. Like misery and cheese,” Chrysalis snorted, glaring down at the smaller mare. Jason just sat down, tossing the mega stone up into the air and whistling a little. At that moment a pink and purple creature fell out of a hole in reality and they all heard in their heads, “-Alonso!” “Huh, Mewtwo. I was expecting Diancie... I should have paid more attention to the mega stone colors,” Jason said, getting to his feet. He moved over to the pokemon, holding his hand up, “Sup?” “Not much, was about to have my welcome to Ponyville party, but I think I should be able to get back around the same time I left. How does the name Medulla relate to a crystal... thing?” The mutant-clone shook Jay’s hand. “Oh I meant the mega stone. They all kinda look the same,” Jason said, shrugging a little. “I’m Jason and these are my wives, Chrysalis and Rarity.” He gestured to the mares. “Hello,” Chrysalis said with a friendly wave while Rarity grimaced. “It’s a... pleasure,” Rarity muttered, looking away unhappily. “Rarity, It’s always a pleasure to meet a pony of such refined tastes, but please, you’re talking to the only of my species so don’t comment too often on my horrid appearance,” Medulla commented. “Oh, no, no!” Rarity said, her eyes wide, “I have nothing against your appearance it’s just...” “She’s just pissy that we called you here on our honeymoon,” Chrysalis explained, earning a glare from the pony. “Serves her right, getting us stuck in this smelly place for a week.” “Where are we anyway? The minds around here don’t ‘feel’ like those from the main portion of Equestria.” Medulla said while scratching his chin. “We’re in Prance, the pony version of France,” Jason said, pointing out the window. “We were only supposed to be here for a day but... things happen.” “Prance... That’s almost as bad a pun as Transylmaneia,” Medulla said as his hand firmly slapped to his face. “So I’m guessing Rarity is the reason for the prolonged stay, based on the looks and thoughts she keeps getting from Chrysalis.” “Yup,” Jason said with a nod. ‘Oi! Who's the new guy?’ another male voice asked from inside Jason’s head. “So is there another telepath around or something?” “Uh... no, thats Hodgepodge. He’s kinda sorta an alternate personality,” Jason explained with a shrug. ‘I feel so exposed!’ Hodgepodge lamented while another groaned. ‘Shut up Hodgepodge, and block our thoughts you goon,’ he ordered. ‘Oh fine, Hughes. Why must you be so mean?’ The sound of a door being slammed was heard and their voices fell silent. “If you called me here to pass the time then let’s have some fun!” A sly grin crept across Medulla’s face. “Let’s crunk it!” Chrysalis declared, buzzing her wings excitedly. “Fine, you three go have your fun, I‘ll be heading to the shopping district.” Rarity huffed before grabbing her saddlebags and trotting out of the room. “I’ll show her some of the worst fashions I’ve ever seen when we get back, because she’s being so rude to a guest.” “Eh, she’ll get over it,” Jason said, shrugging a little. “Before we go, you know what this is?” Jason asked, holding up his arm, showing off the Omnitrix. “Well, Well. I haven’t thought about that series in a long time.” “Oh good, you know what it is,” he said with a smirk, “May I get a scan of you?” “Go ahead! I’d like to see what happens.” Jason held his arm out, causing the Omnitrix to chirp and pass a yellow light over Medulla. “There, now I have a Mewtwo form,” Jason said with a smirk. “You should try going ultimate with it some time, who knows what could happen!” “Ultimate is mega-evolution.” Jason said, “At least thats how it works with Gengar, not sure how it’ll work with Mewtwo having two megas.” “Sooo... What’s the best bar in town!” “I have no idea, so we’re just going to go bar hopping,” Jason said, pulling his hoodie on, “You should be fine appearance-wise, the ponies are mostly used to my weirdness.” “Then let the debauchery commence!” “We just had to pick the bar that doubled as a poetry club didn’t we?” Chrysalis asked with a frown as she sipped at her drink, barely listening as the pony on stage rambled on in Prench. “It could be worse, could have walked into a brothel,” Jason countered, fiddling with the Omnitrix, “Could always leave.” “And miss the second verse?” Chrysalis asked, letting out a mock gasp, “Perish the thought!” “It’s not that bad, I’ve heard the poetry of the void dwellers, Vogon poetry can’t even compare.” “I try to stay away from the void, it’s nothing but trouble,” Jason frowned, “Like random invasions from weird sentai monsters.” “Trust me it wasn’t by choice,” Medulla said while thoughtfully sipping some random pony’s wine when they weren’t looking. “Though most of these ponies are so far up their own asses, I can vicariously smell their colons.” “I’m just glad you already know about the Displaced, saves me a whole lot of time on the subject,” Jason said with a smile, “Did you know theres a Team Rocket Displaced?” “No, at least I don’t think I do. What’s the token?” “A Meowth head coin with a bright red ‘R’ on the front.” “Nope, don’t have that one yet.” “Who have you met?” Jason asked, turning his full attention to Medulla. “So far, personally I’ve only met a time manipulator called Max, but I have a few other tokens that I found before I was stoned. I have a genji medallion, a blue coin with a tornado on it, a key and key chain set that look like they go together, a black diamond, a Metroid badge, a Plumber’s badge, and is this yours?” Medulla said, making a unitrix core appear in his hand. “Yup, thats mine alright. Built it using some of Twi’s machines, she wasn’t happy about it at all,” Jason said, a faint smile on his face. “That feels like it was so long ago...” “Do you know any of the others?” Medulla started pulling out the other tokens he mentioned and placing them on the table. “I...” Jason said, his eyes locking onto the Plumbers’ badge. He sighed shaking his head, “I know some. The diamond belongs to Kat Shifter, and I think the medallion belongs to Gilgamesh but I have no idea when he switched from gauntlets to a coin.” “Could be an alternate, for those who don’t like or need armor.” “I dunno, thats just not dad’s style to be honest,” Jason said with a shrug, downing the rest of his drink and ordering another. “Oh and Max gave me this one,” he brought out a glass vial with a blue double helix inside. “She said she didn’t need it, and that it could summon Nemesis from Resident Evil.” “Oh Nemmy’s a great guy,” Jason said with a nod. “He’s a bit busy fighting the pony version of Umbrella but he always helps when he can.” “You referred to Gilgamesh as ‘dad’?” “In the adopted sense,” Jason started, “He helped me a lot when I first got here and well... he’s the closest thing to a dad I’ve ever had.” “Didn’t really have a father figure, can’t even remember my family from earth. Most of the relationships I’ve been making are more sibling-like.” “Yeah, I got adopted into the Apple clan... hey where did Chrysalis go?” he asked looking around. He groaned, spotting her on the stage, starting to sing “Real Slim Shady,” replacing Slim Shady with herself. “Why did I let her into my CDs?” he asked, letting his head slam into the table. “Everyone seems to like it,” Medulla chugged the rest of the other pony’s wine and replaced the glass. “Bartender, You have anything stronger?” “I apologize sir, but thats the strongest we have,” the bartender said, shaking his head. “Here,” Jason said, tossing a flask to Medulla, “That’ll probably do it, if you don’t mind your alcohol from the teat of a goat.” “Booze is booze,” Medulla toasted, and downed a very large swig. “That, my friend, is ungodly strong. If I drank two of those flasks I’d have to sleep for a week.” “You just don’t know how to hold your booze,” Jason teased, letting out a laugh, “Hell, the ponies handle it better than you.” “I’ll have you know I drank the better part of a small town under the table, and was only slightly tipsy. Of course most of my internal organs were on the verge of shutting down, and I had to sleep it off for three days straight.” “Allow me to one up you, I had the T-virus,” Jason said, leaning back in his chair with a smirk. “Obviously you got better or you’d be eating my brains right now. All I’m saying is even if this was straight alcohol, it shouldn’t affecting me this much this quickly... Question, could this be considered magic alcohol?” Medulla said eyeing the flask suspiciously. “We milked it out of a goat, I’m pretty sure it’s magical.” “I thought it was fermented goat’s milk or something... Magic alcohol affects me VERY differently than normal alcohol. This will be the first time I’ve actually gotten drunk in a millenium.” “You one of those ‘turned to stone’ guys?” Jason asked, raising his eyebrow, downing his drink. “Yep, Still in the beginning of season 2, just had Nightmare Night a few days ago. But before I start to get too thoughtless, please hold on to this.” Medulla brought out a paper and a pen and began to write. After writing a single word he gave Jason the paper. “That is the thought I need to find my way back to about the proper time.” “You got it,” he said with a nod, putting it in his pocket. “You know... I went home a few months ago... apparently the show started up while I was gone.” “Time’s weird sometimesssss...” Medulla’s gaze drifted, he blinked and suddenly one iris was red and the other was blue. “You alright?” Jason asked, frowning. “Your eyes just went weird.” “GET OUT THE CAMERAS AND HIDE THE PEANUT BUTTER, SHIT’S ABOUT TO GET WEIRD!!!” Medulla shouted as he bolted out the door. “Great... drunk Mewtwo..” Jason said with a groan. He paid for their bill and dragged Chrissy out the door with him. It wasn’t to hard to follow him. He left a trail of fresh mud on anything white, coins scattered everywhere, and translucent purple marks, but he was moving fast. “This is going to be a hard night,” Jason said with a groan, shaking his head. “A lot better than what Rarity had planned,” Chrysalis said with a smirk. “Yeah, but she wasn’t drunk,” Jason said, running after the raging pokemon. Eventually they found a group of ponies that were tethered to the ground by what looked like large blades of grass. Medulla was floating about thirty feet in the air scolding them about jaywalking. “... And that’s why jaywalking is fun, but veeerrrry DANGEROUS” He then belched a jet of fire into the night sky. “Excuse me... I don’t remember having curry...” The mutant then noticed Jason and Crysalis, and floated back down to them. “Do I want to know, Medulla?” Jason asked, running a hand down his face. “Probably not! But you guys are just in time for the parade!” Medulla said a bit too cheerfully. He then snapped his fingers, music began playing and short bipedal crocodiles made of fire began to march. “Seriously? How many of us can just make spontaneous music?” Jason asked with a groan. “You should release those ponies. I really don’t want to test out my diplomatic immunity.” “Alright, this will only take a second...” Fire lit Medulla’s hand. He then sprayed it over the area. “Seriously?” Jason asked with a groaned, putting said fire out with a blast of ice. He pulled his sword out, cutting the ponies free, “OK Medulla, we’re never getting you drunk again.” “It’s just Incinerate, It can’t actually hurt living beings, it only destroys things.” Medulla said, pouting. “I’ll only be like this for a few more minutes considering the amount I drank. Then I go into stage 2.” “There are stages?” Chrysalis asked with a raised eyebrow. “Three to be exact. I’m in stage one currently; Manic, right now I burn off the magic energy. Next I get conventionally drunk. Then finally I pass out. At least that’s how it happened the last two times.” Medulla shrugged while throwing mud from nowhere on any walls. “At least you last longer than Dash,” Jason said with a sigh, “Come on, lets go chill in a park or something,” he said, heading down the street. “Fine, but I reserve the right to fire lightning into the sky until this stage is over.” Medulla followed dragging his tail. “Just don’t hit any pegasi,” Jason instructed, “I don’t need any international incidents happening on my honeymoon.” They came to a park and Jason sat down on a bench, looking up at the sky. Suddenly, ghostly fire appeared thirty feet in the air, “Any requests?” Medulla asked, moving and shaping the fire as he sat next to Jason. “Hmm? How’s about Deoxys and Rayquaza going at it?” “Good choice!” Medulla said as the fire split and took the form of the legendary creatures. Beams and blasts shot between them, they even grappled on occasion. “If you had asked for anything with Palkia I would have been pissy about it. That guy was a real bastard. Tried to flatten a village, and overwrite my Equestria.” “Yeah, sounds like a bastard,” Jason said with a nod “And all the legendaries had been really cool until I was imprisoned.” Medulla sighed thoughtfully. “You should call me to your world, I could use some more pokemon scans. Really throws people off when they just expect Ben’s aliens.” “Might be hard, Mew’s been in hiding. Celebi has been sleeping deep in the Everfree. Rayquaza, Groudon, and Kyogre have likely been asleep for millenium. And I still can’t find Darkrai.” “Damn,” Jason said with a whistle, “If it makes you feel any better, the ‘gods’ here are dead, well except for my grandmother Hel.” “The norse goddess of Niflheim? Wellll... aren’t you special.” “I’m also one of the last four jotun so, it evens out really,” “Oi, you two are depressing,” Chrysalis said with a snort. “You know... Luna really does make the most beautiful night skies.” The fires flickered out, and Medulla coughed out black smoke, “Ahhh, nothin’ beats it...” “Hey, you want me to send you home before you pass out?” Jason asked, looking at the smoke with a slight frown. Medulla turned to him, his eyes now gray, “Nah, I’ll just pass out there. And I don’t want to miss my ‘Welcome to Ponnyvile’ paaarty just ‘cause I couldn’t stay awake, Pinklie would kill me. As long as you have that paper, I should be able to get back with an hour or twoo of leafing.” “Well then I guess you can crash with us,” Jason said, nodding his head. “Just don’t puke on anything.” “Before I do passout event..eventuallly, I need ta tell you my code off telipass...telepath ethacs.” “Ok, whats the code?” “In yur Mewtwo form, yu’ll be the stronkest telepath this planet will likeli ever see. Soooo you need to limit yurself. When in a crowd or group don’t passively read more than surface thoughts at most. Iff someone shuts ya out, don’t push cause you could tear their mind ta shreds.” “I’ll keep that all in mind,” Jason said with a laugh, “Though I have two other personalities to keep me in line.” “Awesome! Now what else ya want ta dis- -hic!- dis- -hic!- talk about.” “How are the changelings in your world?” Chrysalis asked, looking at him, “Have they shown up yet?” “Last time I saw one wass over a thousand years ago, wasn’t fun. But no, you haven’t crashed the wedding just yet.” “Please... try and steer me away from... that...” Chrysalis said with a sigh, “I swear Gilgamesh’s Chrysalis and I are the only good versions of me out there.” “Tell ya what, if I see ya before everything goes wrong, I’ll do everything I can to get ya to stop. But I wont take your will or fight ya, I’ll only use words. That okay?” “Agreed,” she said with a nod, giving him a smile, “Thank you.” “Let’s head back to the hotel room, I’d rather not eat dirt or cement when stage three hits.” “Alright let’s go,” Jason said getting to his feet. “This was a fun night,” he said, offering his hand to help Medulla up. Medulla took the proffered hand with a weak smile. “NO!! I DON’T FIT INTO TINY BALLS!!!!” Medulla woke in a cold sweat on the bathroom floor. “Oh hey you're awake,” Jason said, peering into the room, “I was wondering if you were going to wake up at all today. Need any meds?” “Water, and some motrin if you have any.” Medulla said holding his head. Then he stood up and floated to the main room. “Would you mind reminding what happened after I took that accursed dink, it’s mostly a blur except for the promise I made to Chrissy.” “Meh, we kinda just chilled in the park and shot the shit,” Jason said, pouring him a cup of water and passing him a few pills. “That should get you up to snuff.” “Thanks.” Medulla levitated the pills into his mouth and chugged the water. “I should probably give you something.” He pulled out a black oblong shaped berry with white question marks on four sides, “This is an enigma berry. If you’re hit with an attack that would normally do significant damage, it’ll heal you most of the way back.” “Oh hey cool,” Jason said with a smile, storing it away, “Now if only I had something... would you like to get your DNA spliced?” “As nice as that sounds, I’m already a genetic abomination, unless you have a way to break through some of the last mental barriers I have.” “Sorry, I got nothing for that,” Jason said with a shrug, “Oh wait, think you can use magic?” “Haven’t tried, I’m more of a psionicist, but I’m willing to give it a shot.” “Here,” Jason said, pulling out a rather ornate book. “This is a copy of a spellbook Twilight bought a while back. It’s got the most powerful Final Fantasy spells in it, so be careful when you practice.” “HUUUUUMMM!” Medulla grunted as he focused on the power held in the book, then handed it back to Jason. “Done, I learned Ultima.. feels like a bit like Psystrike but... different. You still got that paper I gave you?” “Yeah, “Jason said with a nod, pulling said slip out, “ You ready to go home?” “Yep. Just so you know the whole theory I’m working with it is if I create a psychic beacon, I should be able to track back to close to the point in time it was created. Send me home whenever you’re ready.” Jason stared at the paper, sighing. “ALLONS-Y.” He glared at the paper, frowning. “I hate that show.” “Sorry I had no idea, next time it’ll be something else, I just picked it at random.” Medulla shrugged apologetically. “Eh, it’s fine, you just enjoy your party OK?” Jason asked, tossing the paper over his shoulder and giving a smile. “Will do, I’ll set aside a few pieces of cake for you guys for next the time we meet, food never spoils in my inventory.” “Sorry about my attitude before,” Rarity said with a frown, rubbing her arm, “It wasn't very kind of me.” “I forgive you, and now I won't put laxative in your piece.” “What?” she asked, blinking. “Aaanywhooo, we’re burning relevant time, go ahead and send me back.” “Medulla, our contract is complete,” Jason said, watching the pokemon intently. “Goodbye, and ALLON-” Medulla was cut off as the portal closed around him. “He’s definitely one of the best Displaced we have ever met,” Chrysalis said, to which the others nodded, “So... wanna fool around?”