//------------------------------// // Derpy's Muffins // Story: "Why does everypony say that?!" // by The SideKick //------------------------------// Twilight sat out on her new castles balcony enjoying a daisy sandwich and the sun, unassuming as IT speed towards her head. She was going to take a second bite when it bounced softly off her head and in a hundred to one chance landed straight up on the ground. "Huh?" Putting down her sandwich Twilight stood up to investigate what had hit her. Just as she took a step she heard someone yelling from above. "WHAAAATCH OUUUUUUUUUUUT!" Before Twilight could look up a grey blob crashed into the chair she was just in. Turning back quickly she found Derpy laying in a pile of what use to be her chair. Shaking her head she helped the poor mare up right. "Good grief Derpy, you're lucky that I wasn't still sitting down." Derpy shook herself off before looking at Twilight. She was apologizing so she put the extra effort in and focused her eyes. "I'm really sorry Twilight, I'll pay for the chair. I promise!" Twilight shook her head. It was a nice chair, but there were hundreds of them in storage. Princess perks and all. "Don't worry about it, I have plenty of them. I'm just glad you're okay." Derpy looked back at the wood and bits of cloth, unsure. "Are you sure? It was a REALLY nice chair..." "I'm sure." Twilight looked behind her and picked up the object she was just about to inspect. As soon as she saw the object, at last, she could only softly laugh and shake her head as she levitated it over to Derpy. "Derpy, were you chasing this muffin?" "OH, there it is!" Seeming not to realize that Twilight had found it and was levitating the muffin in question in front of her face Derpy snatched it out of the air and proceeded to take a bite out of it. "I was scared that I'd lost it." Derpy said through a mouth full. "Do you mind explaining what happened Derpy?" Asked Twilight as she moved the destroyed chair into a neat-ish pile to the side. Derpy nodded her consent vigorously before swallowing the rest of the now devoured muffin, looking at Twilight cross-eyed again. "Okay! I was heading home from work, having finished up today's deliverers. On the way I decided to stop by Sugar Cube Corner to pick up a muffin, but on my way out I noticed a cloud in the corner of my eye that reminded me of my family. I went to get a closer look but bumped into Lyra, she was practicing her cloud walking spell, and dropped my muffin! When I righted myself I saw my muffin falling and I chased after it." Derpy looked away with one eye, the other staring at a random cloud as she kicked a little at the ground. "You know what happened next." Twilight giggled as she patted Derpy's shoulder. "Oh Derpy, you and your muffin obsession. You're going to end up really hurting yourself." Derpy's nose scrunched up as she looked at Twilight confusedly. "Muffin obsession? I don't have a muffin obsession." "Derpy, you just chased a falling muffin until you crashed into a balcony." "That's because my mama taught me to never waste food." "Derpy." Was Twilight's deadpan reply. "I'm not obsessed with muffins! This is my first muffin this week!" Derpy crossed her forelegs and began to pout. Twilight had to admit to herself that it was adorable before she talked again. "Really? I know I heard you say something about some muffins back at your house when I passed by you at the market the other day. I thought you might be baking some." "Baking muffins at home? I mean, I have, but Pinkie knows how to make them so much better. Besides if I did eat them all the time they wouldn't be special anymore." Twilight now was the confused one as she started to believe Derpy. "So wait, you really only eat muffins sparingly?" "For the third time, I think, yes. Where in the world did you pick up that I have a muffin obsession?" "Wellll, I think it started when Daisy heard you talking about how you had just gotten new rooms made just for your muffins." "New rooms for my...? OOO~H!" As some kind of realization dawned on Derpy a huge grin spread across her face, her eyes somehow managed to get even more crossed, and she began to giggle. She tried using a hoof to cover her mouth and her laughter, but the giggles quickly transitioned to full-on whooping as she fell back, her back legs kicking in the air as she tried to gain control of herself, all the while leaving Twilight more confused than ever, her ears folded back and head tilted in utter non-understanding. "Whats so funny? Derpy , control yourself. You're going to choke!" When her laughter turned to pained wheezing Derpy was able to stop. She stood back up onto four legs and wiped a few tears from her wayward eyes. "I'm sorr-Haha *HACK*...I'm sorry Twilight. It's just that I think I know what's going on now. And I guess you can say I'm obsessed with my muffins. And speaking of them, I need to get home so I can start making dinner, so I'm gonna get going now." Derpy hopped into the air and flapped her wings, floating for a moment. "It was really nice taking with you Twilight, I promise I'll get you a new chair. Bye!" Derpy called with a wave of a hoof before flapping off, Twilight standing up and running to the edge of her balcony. "I said that wasn't necessa-..." Twilight stopped part way through as Derpy clearly left hearing range. Twilight sat back on her flanks. She could give chase and get some answers, even teleport right in front of her, but after a moments time of watching the mare become a dot in the sky, Twilight just heaved a sigh and stood up. She headed back inside, lifting the broken bunch of wood and fabric on the way in with her magic. "I swear, Derpy could give Pinkie a run for her money sometimes for the most random. But also like Pinkie she's a good mare." Twilight was just about to write the whole ordeal off as another one of "THOSE" times when she had a realization of her own. "Sugar Cube Corner's across town and Derpy lives just two blocks away from there..." Derpy had just touched down at the door of her house. She had giggles nearly all the way from Twilight's castle. She went ahead and opened the door and stepped in. "Dinky, Sparkler, I'm home!" "Mama!" A little unicorn filly came running around a corner and jumped to hug Derpy around the neck. "There's my little muffin!" Said Derpy as she flapped into the air to give Dinky a big hug with both her forelegs. Shortly after she touched back down and let go of the filly. "Now where's my big muffin?" Derpy asked as she looked around the empty living room for Sparkler. Dinky's eyes went south. "She got into another fight today..." Derpy, unfortunately unsurprised, sighed heavily. "What was it about this time?" "Those same bully's started making fun of your eyes again. She said she was going to take your advice and just walk away, but then they started to talk about daddy..." This made the poor mother cringe. She knew that this was going to be a harder fix now. "When she came home she hugged me for a long time and told me about it. After a while, she said she needed to use the bathroom, but she got me a snack to eat first. She's been in her room ever since." Nodding Derpy brought Dinky into another hug. "You did a very good job of being there when she needed you. You're a very good girl Dinky." She whispered in her ear before letting go again. "I'm going to go talk with her, do you mind getting the table set while I'm doing that so that it can be done and out of the way." Nodding enthusiastically and saying "Yes mama!" Dinky scampered off to the kitchen. Sighing again Derpy headed towards the stairs, hoping that whatever those mean little ponies said to her muffin that it wasn't anything too bad.