//------------------------------// // Divine Intervention // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// Please make sure the "Formatting" is set to "Dark", not "Light". Thank you. A/N: There may be slight spoilers to Kid Icarus Uprising in this chapter. Just thought I'd give you fair warning. Properties in this chapter belong to Hasbro, ScrewAttack, Project Sora, and Nintendo. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For Season 3 E 19 From the heavens, they can see through your laurel crown to divine your surroundings. Whether they use white magic, or rely on divine faith, some entities soar as high as the gods. You mean they're on drugs? *sigh* No, B. They just... like to use the colors gold and white a lot. Oh, okay. Princess Celestia, ruler of Equestria will face... ... Lady Palutena, goddess of Skyworld. He's W and I'm B. And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Palutena -The goddess of Skyworld -Regularly sends Pit to battle with the forces of nature (Viridi) and the Underworld (Medusa or Hades, depending on the time of year) -Can grant the power of flight for five-minute durations -Often converses telepathically through a nonexistent fourth wall -First fight was forced by an entity of chaos manipulating her like a puppet -Weapon: Staff -Skills: Autoreticle, Heavenly Light, Reflect Barrier, Warp, Black Hole Laser -Attacks have long range, but also long ending lag "Long ago, when Skyworld fell to darkness, and I was imprisoned in my own temple, it was a lone hero, the angel Pit who came to my rescue and saved the realm." Hey! Leave some of the storytelling for the rest of us. Palutena has made it one of Skyworld's goals to protect humanity. This puts her and her army at odds with other deities such as Viridi, Medusa, and Hades. Hades! Pit! Hades! Pit! Hades... Pit... Hades! Yes, yes, very funny, B. Anyway, she often leaves most of the grunt work to her personal messenger, Pit. She'll offer guidance and commentary via telepathy. "That's right." Wait, what the heck? "Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to interrupt this very important discussion about me." I should be used to this kind of thing by now. The cast of Kid Icarus Uprising has been known to regularly demolish the fourth wall. They bring up subjects like other video games titles, other video game enemies, and other video game consoles. Actually, video games seem to be related to almost everything in which they dismiss the fourth wall. "Huh. When you put it that way, it does seem like that." You...You think this is a father-mucking video game? Uh, what are you even referencing right now? I don't know. "Sounds like something you'd find on a 'Four-Leaf-Clover' board." Anyway, Palutena doesn't normally feel the need to join the battle as Pit is quite capable of shooting down hordes of enemies on his own. But then, a chaotic entity captured her and started forcing her armies into an all-out war with the humans for three years. "It was pretty gross, but I did start to hone my skills to have a better handle on taking down the competition. Aside from smacking enemies around with my staff, I can lock onto a specific point with my Autoreticle, send back projectiles with my Reflect Barrier, dodge hazards entirely with a quick Warp, and dish out the pain with my pillars of Heavenly Light." And when she's ready to end the fight, she pulls out a *eff*ing black hole out of her **s and then shoots out a huge laser from it. How the hell does that work? While she does have all of this power at her disposal, she's not perfect on the battlefield. Though many of her attacks have long range, she also leaves herself wide open if she misses. Plus, she has a very difficult time taking the pain, even from her personal assistant Pit. "Still, the odds don't look good for my competition." ---Death Battle--- Princess Celestia -Species: Alicorn -Has the magic necessary to raise the sun and moon by herself -Princess of Equestria alongside Luna -Has found favor in Twilight Sparkle -Appreciates a lighthearted prank as much as the next pony -Other magic: Levitation, teleportation, magic barriers, magic beams, some dark magic -Strong enough to bend a second-story porch -Can fly swiftly and gracefully -Her most impressive feats were over a thousand years ago; her recent dealings with large-scale crises were less than impressive "You are a wonderful student. I don't have to get a letter every week to know that." Some of the citizens of Equestria have come to believe that Celestia holds their fate in her hooves. Her presence is stunning, perhaps, but she's hardly the end-all, be-all of ultimate judgement. She's more like the troll of all trolls. No, no, stop it right there! There is nothing about her that is remotely close to the damage that trolls cause. A troll intentionally feeds provocative messages to their victims, fully intending to take pleasure in all of the negative feedback and emotional reactions. Taking part in lighthearted pranks for the sake of lightening the mood is an entirely different thing. Okay, geez. Take a joke, W. Jokes are supposed to be funny. ... Ouch. *ahem* Celestia is an alicorn pony, carrying immense strength, the power of flight, and the power of magic. In addition to a unicorn's natural levitation, she has a personal connection to the sun, raising it and lowering it at the start and end of the day respectively. She can also teleport, put up magic force fields, shoot magic beams, and oversee the ascensions of power in others. Though, a millennium seems to have caused some of her great power to grow rusty. A thousand years ago, she took part in the banishment of Tirek, the sealing of Sombra, turning Discord to stone, and most notably banishing Nightmare Moon 'permanently' into the moon itself. Yeah, a lot of years of peace means you can't exercise the old Gandalf level of magic very often. Recently, she was kidnapped by Nightmare Moon, robbed of her sun by Discord, captured by Chrysalis, and sent to Pony Hell by Tirek. It's not Pony Hell. It's called 'Tartarus'. Yeah, whatever. Point is, the writers nerfed her and made Twilight do her bidding. Still, she isn't completely helpless. When it gets right down to it, she can still command authority and respect from her subjects. Her fail-safe spell is even stronger than Twilight's. She can even utilize dark magic without expressing the same pain when Twilight uses it. Plus, Celestia was able to raise the sun and moon for one thousand years by herself. Teams of unicorns had to work together just to pull off that kind of celestial magic. You know you're doing something right when you've lived over centuries and still don't look a day older than forty. "I hope you know that I will always be here if you need me." ---Death Battle--- All right, the combatants are set. Let's settle this debate once and for all. It's time for a Death Battle! ---Death Battle--- This arena appears to be floating above the clouds. The sun shines brightly on all of the different sectors. There are floating elevator stones, cloud platforms, sturdy pillars, and even a hot spring. Our combatants are unceremoniously plopped onto the large hot spring. The first combatant runs her fingers through her hair to brush the water droplets out. The other combatant shakes the liquid off before her mane floats on some unseen wind. "I may not have data on you, but that doesn't mean I'll hold back against you," says the bipedal woman as she conjures a blue staff from a spectacle of light. "You wish to attack me then?" asks the pony, stomping her hoof (and causing a small splash) in defiance. "Fine, but you won't set a foot against my subjects. I promise you that." "FIGHT!" Palutena playfully spins her staff in front of herself. Celestia backs away with one flap of her wings. The staff floats back into Palutena's possession. She holds it high as a strange green target points forth from it. "Come!" calls Palutena as her Autoreticle shoots out bursts of light. A slightly different flash of light shines and Celestia vanishes. The bursts hit nothing but air. In a second flash, Celestia appears and stands atop a cloud platform. Palutena adjusts her Autoreticle and fires again. Celestia teleports to another cloud, yet the bursts only shoot where she was and not where she's going. This pattern of shooting and dodging continues. After a while, Celestia teleports right behind Palutena and delivers a buck to her back. The princess turns around and launches forth a golden ray from her horn. Palutena picks herself up and lifts her staff at a slightly different angle. "Reflect!" the goddess shouts as a rectangle of warped light floats in front of her. The beam bounces off the Reflect Barrier, coming straight back. Celestia's horn glows, and a similarly colored sphere surrounds her. The magic beam bounces and flies forward. It seems to pinball between the two barriers for a while. "Warp!" Palutena vanishes and reappears behind Celestia. She lifts her staff high. Suddenly, a burst of white light erupts under Celestia's position and slams into her. The princess' barrier fades due to the interrupted magic. Giant wings sprout out of Palutena's back and clap around her opponent, sending the pony for a flip. The goddess warps ahead and leans down. She spins her staff above her head. The incoming Celestia feels a few painful impacts. "Say goodbye!" Palutena grabs hold of her staff again. "Black Hole Laser!" An eerie orb grows in the middle of the arena, pulling in some of the platforms and Celestia. Despite the intense gravity she's under, she shakes her head and focuses within her horn. Just as Palutena unleashes a giant laser beam, Celestia vanishes. The princess appears on the bottommost flat area and puts up her barrier again. From here, her barrier barely gets grazed by the laser's outermost reach. While Palutena catches her breath, Celestia fires a magical beam of her own. It's not quite as large as the Black Hole Laser, but it's strong enough to send the goddess soaring. Palutena's face impacts with the camera before she slides off the screen entirely. "K.O.!" Celestia takes a soft breath before lowering the sun for the evening. ---Death Battle--- Holy crap! That was intense! It certainly was. While Palutena does hold the role of a goddess, she is just a prone to the same dangers as the rest of her angels and other living beings. She's got a lot of funky powers. But quantity doesn't always guarantee that you'll use the right move at the right time. While Celestia has a longer list of defeats, those captors were no slouches when it came to power and might themselves. Besides, Celestia actually had to face most of her fights directly early on during her reign. Palutena didn't really start joining Heaven's battles until much later in her career, so she's still trying to get used to her own limitations. You'd think someone with the power to break the fourth wall would have the bright idea to pull objects out of the magic satchel, not ask their angelic secretary for a coffee. Since Celestia isn't from a video game (aside from a mobile game in which the player can make her a pastry chef), Palutena had no relevant data to work with. Thus, she was fighting blind. Celestia really rose to the occasion. The winner is Princess Celestia. ---Death Battle---