Blackest Knight
Chapter 20
John, Twilight, and her friends walked back into town. John had donned his armor again, but held his helm in the crook of his arm. He was back to normal and would not make any of the ponies burst into laughter, but he could hear Rainbow and Pinkie snickering behind him. He walked next to Twilight in silence. Usually the unicorn would pester the human with endless questions, but she decided to let John have a break after his poison joke experience.
“So what are we doing now,” John decided he could question the unicorn for a change.
“I don’t know, maybe you can go with the girls, and find something to do. I need to write a letter to Celestia.”
“I think I need to return to the Boutique,” Rarity interjected. “I am still working on some clothes for John and plan to have them finished by tonight.”
“And Ah’ve gotta get back to the farm.” Applejack added.
Rainbow shot between them and said, “Me and Pinkie will take John!” Twilight turned to see Pinkie nodding her head furiously. Both mares had wide, mischievous grins.
Twilight suddenly had a bad feeling about leaving the human with them, but John answered for her, “That sounds fine to me.”
Rainbow and Pinkie jumped into the air and highhoofed each other. They immediately dragged John away. Twilight, Rarity, and Applejack looked at each other nervously.
“Ah don’t think that may have been the brightest idea,” Applejack stated.
“I agree,” Twilight said. They split off on their separate ways.
Celestia was taking a break from day court when she received a report from Twilight. She quickly glanced over it and proceeded to take the report to her sister’s room. “Luna, wake up you lazy mule!”
Luna glared at her sister that had rudely interrupted her slumber. “What is it sister?”
“You know you had duties today,” Celestia answered. “You were supposed to finish the apology report to the bakery down the street.”
Luna groaned, “I forgot how strong my moonshine was.”
“That’s not an excuse for crashing through their front window,” Celestia stated.
“But …”
“Or eating the deserts.”
“I …”
“For crying out loud, not even I could eat that much cake at once!”
“That’s not …” Luna sighed, “Okay, that one is true.”
“And I’m not even going to mention what you did to the counter.”
“The …”
“That poor filly is probably scarred for life.”
“It couldn’t have been …”
“And you still need to pay for the utensils.”
Luna glared at Celestia. “Is that the only reason you came in here?”
“No, actually I just received Twilight’s first report on John.” Celestia looked at the report again, “It seems that he’s already made friends with the Bearers, though he’s admitted that Pinkie Pie worries him.”
“Worries him?!” Luna gaped. “She downright terrifies me!”
“Yes, anyways, Twilight also mentions that he saved Fluttershy from a timberwolf attack, and describes a … situation with poison joke. By her description, I wish I could have been there to see it.”
“Well maybe I can ‘convince’ him to show me when I visit his dreams for his side of the report. Though I do not like the idea of visiting his dreams before the entire week passes.”
Celestia looked at Luna in confusion. “Why do you say that?”
“Last time I visited his dreams, he made several … jokes. The last one was that I could visit his dreams more than once a week. He included a wink.”
Celestia stood looking at her sister. She suddenly burst out laughing. “If he is unafraid to tease you like that, it seems I need to chat with him more often,” she earned a glare from Luna.
John was dragged after Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash. He was amused by their enthusiasm.
“Pinkie told me that you like pranking, is that right?” Rainbow asked.
“Yes.” John chuckled, he had a feeling where this was going. Twilight probably wouldn’t like it.
“That’s awesome, we have a few plans, and some of them wouldn’t happen without you.” Rainbow dragged them into a bush. She peeked out.
John followed her gaze to see a light green unicorn with a white and green mane. He saw a stringed instrument on her flank, and it reminded him of a question he thought Twilight wouldn’t have liked to be asked. “Since I’m with you two, would you mind answering a question for me?”
“Yeah?” Rainbow asked, still watching the mare.
“I’ve seen markings on every pony’s flank, one that the changelings didn’t have, and I was wondering what they were.”
Pinkie answered him, “Those are our cutie marks silly! Everypony gets one when they discover their special talent!” She paused, “Don’t you have one?”
“No, humans don’t get cutie marks, so they just appear?”
“Yep!”
Rainbow interjected, “So why did you wait till now to ask?”
“Well, Twilight can get flustered easily, and I didn’t want her thinking I was checking her out.”
“Why would she get mad if you saw her cutie mark?” Pinkie asked.
John chuckled, it was a silly thought considering that the ponies didn’t wear clothes. “In my world, looking at a woman below her neck would make her angry.”
Rainbow shushed them, “Hold on, Lyra’s moving.”
“So why are we even watching her?” John asked.
“Well, Lyra is a huge nut about mythical beings like humans, so we decided that we could use you to prank her.”
“Wait, I’m a mythical being?”
“Yeah, we all thought that she was just making you up, but I guess you are real. Anyways, she was out of town until today, so she doesn’t even know you’re here yet.”
Pinkie elaborated on the plan, “We just need you to go talk to her. We’ve already got the town to join us in the prank.”
“Wait, the whole town?”
“Yep, just pretend that the other ponies can’t see you.”
“Wait, what?” The two ponies were already gone. John sighed and got out of the bush to follow Lyra, putting his helm on.
John walked behind the light green unicorn for a few moments before she felt his presence behind her. She turned around, expecting to see another pony, but her eyes widened in shock. John stopped several feet from her. The other ponies on the street were trying to hide smirks, having already been told by Rainbow and Pinkie. Lyra looked at him for several moments before blurting out, “You’re a human!”
John was a little disconcerted that she knew immediately what he was. Most other ponies had no clue, but he guessed that she was obsessed with mythology. “Yes,” John deepened his tone and spoke slower, to make himself sound more ominous. “I am a human!” He raised his arms in dramatic effect. He could see Pinkie and Rainbow hiding around the corner, giggling.
“Wow!” Stars shone in Lyra’s eyes. “I can’t believe I’m meeting a real human! I have to tell ponies.” She looked around, “Hey, everypony! It’s a human!” She pointed at John.
Surrounding ponies looked at Lyra, but they were in on the joke. Twilight rounded the corner, and waved at John before Rainbow grabbed her and dragged her into the alley. The ponies surrounding John and Lyra looked at the green mare, pretending not to notice John. They carried on with their business.
“Don’t you ponies see him?!” Lyra asked the surrounding ponies. They shook their heads, trying to hide smiles.
“Lyra,” John spoke.
She snapped her head to him. “You know my name?!”
“Yes Lyra, and you are the only pony that can see me.” Pinkie, Rainbow, and Twilight peeked back around the corner. Pinkie and Rainbow were giggling, Twilight looked disapproving.
“Why can only I see you?” Lyra asked. She did not noticed the three ponies that were watching them.
“I have come with grave news, Lyra,” John began, improvising. “Equestria is doomed, and you are the only pony that can save it.”
“Me?! What about the Elements of Harmony?”
“The Elements will not be strong enough to face the coming darkness Lyra, but if you do what I say, you can prevent utter destruction.”
“Just tell me what I have to do!” Rainbow and Pinkie were bursting at the seams, only barely able to contain their laughter. Twilight shook her head.
“You must bounce in place three times.”
Lyra looked at him, confused, as did Pinkie, Rainbow, and Twilight. “How will that help?”
“Do not question the human!”
Lyra hopped in place three times. Pinkie and Rainbow began rolling on the ground, trying to muffle their laughter. “Is that it?” Lyra asked.
“Close your eyes and spin around five times.”
Lyra obeyed, Pinkie and Rainbow were beginning to grow red faces. Twilight looked disapprovingly at John.
“Stand on one forehoof.”
Lyra obliged, believing it was for the good of Equestria. Tears were streaming from the eyes of Pinkie and Rainbow. Surrounding ponies were trying to stifle laughter as well.
“Now, there is one last thing you must do.” John leaned in next to Lyra’s ear. Twilight, Rainbow, and Pinkie looked on in wonder.
“I can’t do that!” Lyra cried.
“You must do it or Equestria will be destroyed!” John could barely hold back laugher himself.
Lyra looked around in desperation. Her eyes landed on Twilight. “Twilight! Thank goodness you’re already here!” Twilight could only look on in confusion as Lyra ran up to her. “You have to forgive me for this, it’s for the good of Equestria!”
“What are you talk…” Twilight was cut off and her eyes grew wide and pupils small as Lyra reached her head forward. Rainbow and Pinkie looked on in horrified glee as the green unicorn’s tongue came out and she pressed it to Twilight’s cutie mark. Twilight froze as Lyra ran her tongue up her body, ending on her neck, before Lyra withdrew.
“JOHN!”