It had been a long time since she’d last been here, thought Ghost Writer, but Ponyville didn’t look much different. Maybe bigger than it has been a few decades ago, the town had swelled as its importance grew, but it still had that small town ambiance. The tallest building, the circular town hall, was only three stories, even the Duke’s mansion wasn’t as big, no huge overshadowing eyesores here, unlike some other towns she’d lived in over the years.
Her train of thought was derailed as a stallion rushing past bumped into her almost knocking her to the floor, he called out a quick apology as he disappeared into the crowd. Shaking herself she quickly grabbed her case in her aura and started towards the exit. A train station wasn’t the best place to stand around in a daze. Making her way out into the town she quickly orientated and headed towards her destination, this place brought back some happy memories but she was here to do a job.
Maybe coming here was a way of running away from her problems. She’d heard about the subject and claimed she had a personal connection to her, it wasn’t exactly a lie, but she’d exaggerated. She did need the money and the job paid well, but not that well, she had no idea how long it would take, but mostly she had decided she need some time away from Canterlot to think things over.
She liked Pen, probably more than any other stallion she’d ever met, he was interesting, confident, driven, but still made time for her but she hadn’t expected a proposal from him, not yet anyway. She’d told him she needed time to think it over, he’d agreed but she’d seen how much it hurt him. She’d have to give him an answer soon, but she had no idea what that answer would be. She pushed the thoughts to the back of her mind for the moment and set off into town.
She soon arrived at her target, Ponyville general hospital, definitely a new addition since her last visit, it was huge and modern. Certainly not standard for such a small town, but given where it was situated, who had lived in town and some of the things that had happened here definitely a requirement.
She had only just entered the building when she found herself gently but firmly pushed aside by a white stallion in armour, he and three others like him were quickly clearing a path towards the exit. Ghost was just about to voice a protest when a huge pink maned mare sped past flanked by the guards. Ponies dropped to their knees in respect or surprise as the giant passed the mare responded to the attention with a slight lowering of her horn and a polite wave of her wings.
“Was... was that?” gasped Ghost as the mare left the hospital still travelling at speed.
“An alicorn?” asked a young looking nurse standing next to her cheerfully, her curly orange mane standing out against her while coat and uniform. Ghost could only nod. “Yes! We’ve had all five princess’s visit recently,” she explained brightly.
Ghost blinked, she’d known her subject was important, but it had only just struck her how important. She was used to dealing with minor celebrities, here today gone tomorrow, she’d forgotten just how much of a change to Equestria this pony and her friend had caused, even if it had been a long time ago now. “Oh, could you tell me where Ms Lee’s room is,” said Ghost as she pulled herself together her eyes flashing down to the nurses name tag, “Nurse Carrot Heart,” she read.
“Do you have an appointment,” asked the nurse flipping through a clipboard, “She gets a lot of visitors.”
Ghost lit her horn and brought up the correspondence between her employers and the subject. “I’m her biographer.”
The nurse’s eyes scanned across the documents and nodded apparently satisfied. “She’s in room forty two,” she pointed down a corridor, “Just turn right at the end, it’ll be on your left. I think she’s still got a visitor with her though.”
“I guess one more won’t hurt,” said Ghost, “Time is of the essence.”
The nurse’s eyes dropped. “Well yes, I suppose so. There never seems to be enough,” she mumbled. “She’s always been such a pillar of the community, everypony knows her, to think...” Her voice trailed away. “Anyway I’ve got other duties to perform.”
Nodding politely to Nurse Heart as she turned away Ghost followed the instructions the nurse had given her and found herself next to a slightly open door. “But Ms Cheerilee! It’s hard!” moaned a distinctly prepubescent voice.
“Everything worthwhile is dear,” came the reply from a voice Ghost hadn’t heard for a long time. “Now just think of your hooves, how many do you have?”
“Four!”
“So far so good. So one pony had four hooves, now how many do you and your brother have between you?”
“Eight!” came the quick reply.
“So two ponies have eight hooves, now what about you, your brother and your sister?”
“Um, twelve!”
“So three times four is twelve. Now how many hooves do four ponies have?”
“Sixteen?” a little more hesitation this time.
“Good, you’re doing it!” Ghost couldn’t help but smile at the enthusiasm, it brought back some good memories of when she was last here.
“But this isn’t real times tables.”
“Yes, it is, the four times table, each pony has four hooves, well most do anyway, so to do the four times table you only need to think of how many hooves that many ponies would have. Now how many hooves do ten ponies have?”
There was a pause, ghost could almost hear the student’s tongue sticking out in concentration. “Thir... no, forty!”
“Very good!”
As interesting as this was Ghost knew she had a schedule to keep to, she gently pushed the door open to reveal a large sterile white room somewhat enlivened by several vases of flowers positioned here and here. A large window covered the far wall letting in the early afternoon sunlight. Off to one side was a large bed from which the conversation had been coming. An old, old earth pony mare was stretched out under the sheets her coat mostly white with a pale pink sheen to it, her thinning mane a light grey with a darker streak still just about visible. Several wires and tubes led from her emaciated form to medical equipment which hummed and bleeped. Next to her on the bed was a young unicorn colt, his mane an untidy blond mop and his coat white with black blotches. Both of them looked up as the door opened.
“Ms Lee,” said Ghost after a few moments of silence. “My name is Ghost Writer, I’ve been sent by Sparkle and Sparkle to help you finish your book.”
“Oh, you,” said the mare with a frown. “I’m sorry Doubloon but you’re going to have to work on your time tables by yourself for a bit.”
The colt nodded and concentrating fiercely he started to use his aura to stuff books into his saddlebags.
“Careful,” admonished the mare as he gripped too hard bending one of the books almost in half.
“Sorry, Ms Cheerilee,” said the colt as he jumped off the bed with a thud and started towards the door. “Sorry Miss,” he said as he passed Ghost Writer.
The old mare leaned back and closed her eyes seeming to shrink into herself. “Doesn’t know his own strength, that boy,” she mumbled, “His grandmother was just the same.”
Ghost paused to see if her assignment would say anything further. “I’ve been employed by Sparkle and Sparkle publishers to help you...”
“I know why you’re here,” said the old mare rolling over with difficulty and looking at her with surprisingly bright eyes. “You’re here to make sure they get themselves a shiny new autobiography.”
“The publishers are somewhat worried about the length of time it is taking you to produce your book.”
“They’re worried I might pop my clogs before I’m finished,” she gestured at the medical equipment, “And they might have a point.”
“They think they should protect their investment, as one of the two element bearers remaining you’re...”
“Three!” Cheerilee interrupted.
“Three?”
“They never found Trixie’s body, she just disappeared.”
“Countess Lulamoon was in very poor health, it is likely...”
“She disappeared!” Cheerilee insisted. “She’ll just be waiting for the rest of us to pass and then she’ll pop up again, all part of a trick, she always liked to get the last word in.”
“Anyway...” said Ghost trying to change the subject, “You did accept a substantial advance from our employers.”
The old mare grinned. “That I did, quite substantial, it’s kept Ponyville Aquarium going for quite a while, I suppose I have to pay the piper eventually.” She painfully levered herself into a sitting position on the bed waving away Ghost’s legs as she tried to help her. “Do I know you from somewhere?” she asked blinking at Ghost.
“I did live in Ponyville for a short period, but it was a long time ago,” said Ghost.
“It’ll come to me,” said Cheerilee, “I never forget a face. Now this book thing, can’t you just get the details from some of the others written about me and the gang and just stick them all together? Seemed there was a time everypony and their dog was writing about us, our part in Corona’s redemption, the Changelings, Trigon’s reign, all that history.”
“Our employer doesn’t want to just rehash other books, they want a definitive work, something that will put them ahead of the competition.”
“Definitive? Well you can’t get much better than that thing Carrot’s husband put together, what was it ten volumes?”
“Twelve.”
“You’d think a script writer would make it a little less dry. At least it was accurate, Trixie’s was nothing but a pack of lies, of course that was part of the appeal, and the point,” she smiled, “Always knew how to work an audience.”
“Well the publishers have received your notes and have passed them on to me, I’ve written them up and I’ve brought a draft with me for you to approve.” She reached for her bag.
“Do you do this a lot? Write other people’s autobiographies?”
“I have worked on several so far.”
“Don’t you ever want to have your own name on the front cover for a change?” asked Cheerilee sounding quite interested.
“Well,” Ghost paused awkwardly, “Yes, but autobiographies are generally better sellers than biographies written by an unknown author. Anyway there are a few sections that I need to go over with you.”
“What sections?”
“Well,” she cleared her throat and tried not to blush. “Those of a romantic nature.”
The old mare smirked. “Ah, sex sells I see.”
Ghost couldn’t help but think of her own situation, what would her future self be writing in her biography about this time? That she dodged a bullet? That she gave up the best thing in her life by not being willing to commit? “You have been linked to, um, well, a large number of important mares and stallions over the years,” she continued, trying to put her mind back on track.
“If every tale about the mares and stallions I was ‘linked’ to was correct then I wouldn’t have had much time to sleep over the years.”
“So they aren't true?”
“The reports of my sluttyness have been greatly exaggerated! Not to say that I haven't had my times, quite a few times, but only one stallion ever died in my bed, and he wasn’t well to start off with, still I know he enjoyed his send off.” The old mare winked.
Ghost blinked not sure if Cheerilee was making fun of her or not. “But you never appear to have been linked to any partner long term, you’ve not been married.”
“You aren't exactly correct there, I’ll probably get to that later, but no I never really married, you know when I was younger it seemed very important to me, some big target I set myself but as time went by I found I was happy as I was. Still it didn’t stop me putting a whole lot of effort into it at the time. I remember it like it was yesterday you know...“
Ghost quickly removed her note pad from her bag and started to rapidly scratch on it as Cheerilee started her story.
Cheerilee gave a groan as she gently rested her head on her wonderful, hard, lumpy, comfortable desk, she was so very glad that class had ended for the day. Normally she wouldn’t be so exhausted but she had been burning the candle at both ends recently.
It had started a few months ago when she had realised that she had a birthday coming up, and that it was an important one, one with a zero at the end. It hadn’t seemed so important at the time but she’d finally gotten round to cleaning out her spare bedroom and had come across something left behind by her younger self, a list of things to do before she got to this certain important birthday and, as he younger self put it, she got old.
She’d sat down and gone through the list, she’d actually done most of the things in it, in some cases several times, and in one occasion while in free fall. But there was one thing, one little tiny insignificant point that she hadn’t ticked off, one thing her younger self had underlined, twice. Get a special somepony.
It wasn’t like she hadn’t tried over the years, she’d used to go out looking for the right stallion every week, then a few times a month, then once a month, then, well goodness she couldn’t remember when she’d last been actively looking. That had shaken her, now older and wiser she knew she had time, she might be getting older, but not that old... yet. Still she’d decided to redouble her efforts, there had to be some pony out there for her, right?
So instead of just laughing off their suggestions she went along with the dates her friends set up, then she wrote down a list of the eligible, and in a few cases not quite so eligible bachelors, in town and worked her way through them one by one and on one rather embarrassing night when her scheduling had broken down two at a time. She’d had a good time, most of the time anyway, but no pony really clicked, no pony had really been worth a second date let alone more than that. As time had passed and that pesky birthday got closer and closer she got more and more desperate, she’d gone out all three nights so far this week and to be honest the dates were starting to blur into each other, still tonight was going to be the night, right? It had to be, it was her hated birthday tomorrow, the day she officially ‘got old’ according to her younger self.
Still there was always tonight, she thought lifting her head from the desk and stretching, Pinkie had set her up with somepony she knew from Canterlot, a guard, Splash something, Splash Century? He was supposed to be pretty hot stuff according to Pinkie. She had a good feeling about this one. Now she just needed to get home, get her head down for a few hours and she’d be ready.
“Um, Miss Cheerilee?” came a whispered voice from the door.
Cheerilee turned towards the sound and saw one of her youngest students, Star Burst, the unicorn shuffled his hooves nervously. “Yes, what is it?” she asked gently.
“Um, well my daddy said he would take me to Whinny World this weekend if I passed all my tests.”
Cheerilee frowned a little, she had noticed that the colt had been working harder in class recently. “Well I think you’re well on your way, you’ve been doing really well recently.”
“There’s the spelling test tomorrow though, I’m not good at spelling, all the letters get mixed up in my head, they all look the same,” explained the foal. “Could you... could you make the test really easy?” he asked, “I really want to go to Whinny World!”
The colt did have a problem with his spelling, agreed Cheerilee. “I’m sorry Star but I can’t make the test easy.”
The little foals head drooped. “Oh, well sorry Miss Cheerilee, I’ll just...” he started to turn away.
Cheerilee glanced up at the clock, it was almost three hours until she was due to meet her date, a quick cat nap should be enough. “Wait a minute Star,” she said, “I can’t make the test easy, but I can give you extra help.” She dragged one of the foal sized chairs over to her desk and patted it until the colt leapt up onto it. “Ok, let’s start with an easy one, can you spell cat for me?”
“Cat, cat,” repeated Star, “K... A....”
Cheerilee tried to stop the smile from slipping from her face, this could take a while.
Old! Old! She was officially old, thought Cheerilee as she gazed into her drink. Around her it seemed like most of Ponyville had turned up to celebrate her decrepitude. Her last chance to turn her life around had been wasted, by the time she had finished tutoring Star she was late for her date. She’d run across town and had caught him just as he was leaving and made her apologies. She’s got him to agree to try again, but once they had started talking he had turned out to be so dreadfully boring, that coupled with her lack of sleep resulted in her nodding off into her soup. They’d said the usual platitudes as the night came to a close but she doubted she’d ever see him again, although he did mention he'd been assigned to guard the Ponyville library and it's occupant given the recent trouble. At least Star had scraped by in his test.
"Wait a minute!" exclaimed Ghost, "Splash Century? You dated Prince consort Sentry!"
"Probably," said Cheerilee with a smile, "Like I said he was so boring I fell asleep. No do you want to hear my story or not?"
"Sorry," said Ghost levitating her quill again.
Cheerilee glanced over at her sister standing near the bar, husband to one side and their new foal balanced carefully on his back, it was almost like she was mocking Cheerilee with her success. She wasn’t even the only one, many of her friends had special someponies, Lyra was up on the stage playing her instrument with Bon Bon looking up at her wife, her eyes glowing with adoration. Just a few tables away Pinkie was apparently trying to suck the face off of her betrothed, rumour had it that their marriage wasn’t far away then Viscountess Pinkie Blood-Pie would be unleashed upon Equestria. Even Carrot Top, only a few lengths away was occasionally nuzzling her own special somepony. The orange mare had still kept her figure despite her first foal being due in only a month or two. Next to them sat Ditzy, the other mare in her circle of friends who had a special somepony, if you asked her she would deny it but she and Big Mac spent almost all their free time together these days. It just wasn’t fair! Everypony seemed to have someone, except her, thought Cheerilee bitterly.
She supposed that wasn’t quite right, at least some of her friends were still singletons, she doubted Trixie would ever find somepony to put up with her various eccentricities, and despite a few flings it didn’t look like Raindrops would be pairing up with anypony anytime soon. But the yellow mare was quite a bit younger than her, she had time, time Cheerilee had lost.
“Great party!” cried Carrot Top over the sound of Lyra’s music.
“Thanks,” mumbled Cheerilee.
“What’s up?”
“I’m old! I’m an old mare that no pony will ever love!”
Carrot Top let out a little giggle. “You’re not old! Thirty is not old!”
“You would say that, you’ve got years to go and you’ve got a stallion and a foal on the way, what have I got?”
“A great life? Look I wouldn’t give up Written for anything, but I do wonder if we aren't going too fast,” she rested a hoof on the slight curve of her belly. “This wasn’t really planned you know, not all of gran’s potions work quite as well as they should. Still what was supposed to happen happened.”
Cheerilee sighed and took a mouthful of her drink. “So I’m supposed to be a lonely single?”
Carrot Top sighed. “Are you really lonely?” she asked.
Cheerilee thought about it for a moment, she didn’t feel all that lonely she had to admit, she had her friends and her class and her family, she had more ponies that she knew what to deal with really. “No I don’t suppose I am, but I just don’t want to get left behind. Surely there's some stallion out there for me, I’ve been looking hard enough.”
“Then there’s no point rushing things, you need to go for quality over quantity. I didn’t go looking for Written, he just was just sort of there when I needed him, Ditzy and Mac have just drifted together over the years. Besides, how many stallions have you dated in the last few months?”
“I don’t know, a few dozen?”
“Did any turn you down?”
“Well no, most seemed quite into me,” she smiled, when she looked at it that way it was quite the ego boost.
“So you’re certainly not past your sell by date then are you? Just stop stressing about it, things will work out when they’re supposed to.”
“You might be right,” she admitted. “When did you get so wise?”
“I’ve been practising, for the foal, I’ll need to fake all sorts of motherly wisdom.”
Cheerilee laughed. “I don’t think you need to fake anything Carrot.” She was probably right, she just needed to let things take their own pace, not try so hard. Thirty? That was hardly anything, the new twenty really, you were only as old as you feel, and she didn’t feel old.
She glanced around the room with a more alert eye, there were quite a few single stallions around, she hadn’t dated all of them, yes she could go with the flow, but that didn’t mean she couldn’t try to hurry things on a little. “Ok gentlestallions,” she cried leaping, a little unsteadily, onto the table. “I’m looking for a special somepony and one of you might be the lucky guy. Now,” she grabbed a pad from her bags and tore out a mouthful of pages throwing them into the air like confetti. “There’s going to be test, a five hundred word essay on why you’re the stallion for me, and points will be deducted for spelling and grammar. The highest scoring of you will move on to a more,” she winked at the crowd, “Practical exam.” It warmed her heart to see stallions leaping into the air to grab the offered paper, who was getting old? She still had all the time in the world to find the right stallion.
“Very wise mare Carrot Top, she still visits every few days, her and her kids, eight of them, who knows how many grandkids and even some great grandkids now. I guess that potion of her grandmothers never did work,” she grinned, “Or maybe she just rolled the dice often enough that probability won out.”
“We’re you really that worried about being single by your thirtieth?” asked Ghost. She’d be reaching that milestone in a few years, was that part of why she was considering Pen’s proposal, she did like him, but they hadn’t been together all that long.
“That was over sixty years ago now,” Cheerilee stared into the distance for a moment, “Over sixty years,” she mumbled then snapped back to the present, “I was young, it seemed so important at the time, now, well I know I had time.”
“But you never did get married did you?”
“Well, that might depend who you talk to...”
Ghost sat more upright, this was new, if the old mare had gotten married in secret some when that would certainly spice up the book. Suddenly her face was split by a wide yawn, “Sorry,” she mumbled.
“Boring you am I?” asked Cheerilee with a raised eyebrow.
“No, I’m tired, I’ve just been travelling all day, I’d just got back from Manehatten when I found out about this job, set out from Canterlot straight away.” Before Pen could force an answer out of her.
“Then you should follow the advice in my books, look around town for a bit, get settled in, it’ll make you more alert. Besides I’m tired myself, I’m sure I’ll still be here tomorrow.”
Ghost considered, it was clear she wasn’t going to get all this sorted out in one day, she would need to find somewhere to stay and she could update her notes with what Cheerilee had told her so far. “Fine, I’ll see you tomorrow morning then.”
“I’m not going anywhere,” said the old teacher gesturing at the medical equipment with a hoof. “Maybe we can talk about what’s bothering you as well.”
Ghost frowned. “How did you?”
“I’ve been around a long long time, I know when somepony is distracted, I dare say it’s something to do with your romantic life, most things are, and you were quick enough to try and pry into mine.”
Ghost considered lying, but the old mare seemed to be able to see through her. “I do have a big decision to make,” she admitted.
“Well it will keep to tomorrow, might look better then as well.”
Ghost nodded and made her way out of the room. Maybe things would look better tomorrow, at least she should have more notes for the book.