//------------------------------// // The Wonderbolts!!! Pony # 67 & 68: Spitfire and Soarin. // Story: Deadpool in Equestria // by MrAquino //------------------------------// Twilight stood next to Nyx inside Ponyville's castle. Right in front of them was a regular apple. "Aright Nyx," Twilight spoke "I'm sure you can do this." "But Twilight," Nyx replied "what if I'm not strong enough!" "You have to be strong! Don't worry: it's an apple, nothing bad is going to happen." "Ar-Are you sure?" "Positive!" "Alright... if you say so." Nyx's horn began to glow. She aimed it at the apple. Deadpool teleported right in front of the apple. "WAZZUP!!!" Deadpool yelled like the guys from that Budweiser commercial. Nyx screamed, releasing a beam at Deadpool! He fell to the floor, twitching uncontrollably. "DEADPOOL!!!!" Twilight yelled. Deadpool opened his eyes, feeling something wrong with his back. "Twilight," Deadpool simply spoke "is there something wrong with my back?" Twilight flipped Deadpool to his front with an angered grunt, but gasped at what she saw. "Oh my! Deadpool... you have wings!" "WINGS!?!?!? I'M A PRINCESS!!!" "NO!!! You have Butterfly wings!!!" "...Close enough!!!" The butterfly wings on Deadpool's back started to flutter, carrying the Merc. Deadpool laughed like an idiot, seeing himself flying. "Should we hold him in?" Nyx asked "We should." Twilight agreed "Deadpool, please-" Deadpool was gone, and they both looked outside, seeing the Merc flying around in a single green dress, laughing maniacally "LOOK AT ME EQUESTRIA!!!" Deadpool yelled "I. AM. DEADPOOL!!!" All the ponies below stared at the Merc, gasping at what's happening. Deadpool fluttered around the town, shaking his butt and... gold glitter fell down? Deadpool... what the f**k are you- "Relax! You'll see what happens." "What in Tarnation!?!?!?" Applejack below yelled, next to Pinkie "Pinkie, did ya'll gave Deadpool golden glitter?" "Nope!" Pinkie replied "...Are ya'll sure? I mean that he's- WHOAH!!!" Applejack began to float into the air, turning uncontrollably. Pinkie followed, though she had more control over it and released her 'Whee!'. Soon, every earth pony and unicorn began to float, all not even knowing how to control it. So... you just got Pixie Dust straight from Peter Pan? "Of course I did!" Said you know who "How else did I get this Tinker Bell Dress!?!?!? HUH!?!?!? From a $5 S**t!?!?!?" Uh... I'm not even going to answer that. Please, just... find somepony to hangout with, okay? "CAN DO!!!" Deadpool began to fly to the city of Cloudsdale: home of the most famous pegasi in Equestrian history! Many of the pegasi there stood and stared at Deadpool in his questionable Tinker Bell outfit & butterfly wings, but most just remember one thing: It's like Pinkie Pie, only more dangerous! Two familiar pegasi in the show sat in a booth: one was a pale cornflower blue male with Dark grayish phthalo blue mane & tail and his cutie mark was a lightning bolt with wings. The other was a brilliant gold female with Light brilliant orange mane & tail with light brilliant amber stripes and her cutie mark was some fire. The male was busy eating a pie messily while the other watched in disgust with only a simple hay sandwich in her hooves. "Soarin," the female spoke "when are you EVER going to use a fork?" "Whenever I eat spaghetti!" Soarin replied with some pie still in his mouth. "I meant with your pies." Soarin swallowed his pie and looked back at the female "Spitfire: these are pies! They're mean to to be eaten by me in such a delicious way! Plus, today's annual pie day!!! Another pie, please!!!" Deadpool teleported next to them, still flapping his gay, butterfly wings to not fall. "I'm going to pretend you didn't call my wings 'gay', MrAquino." Deadpool replied "DEADPOOL!?!?!?" The two shouted "That's right! Deadpool is here!!! Not even the sky can hold me down!!! If only Thor were here, man would he be p***ed!!!" "... are those... butterfly wings?" Soarin asked "They are indeed!" "How did you-" Soarin was abut to ask "Accident." "Oh!" they both spoke. The waiter pegasus came out and gave Soarin another pie. "... can you get me another pie?" Soarin asked "I think this should go for Deadpool." "Of course." the waiter replied. Soarin nuzzled the pie to Deadpool. "For me?" Deadpool asked, blushing, giggling with his right hand over his mouth, & having eyes that are so kawaii! "For you!" Soarin replied, though a bit freaked out. Deadpool pulled out a super tiny knife with a super tiny fork & slowly cut his way through the pie. For 12 seconds, he continued to cut through the pie, but never busted through the crust. "...F**K THIS!!!" Deadpool punted the pie into the air and pulled out one of his swords! the pie fell, and he sliced the pie into a bunch of pieces, making both Spitfire and Soarin jump! The pie landed, still in one piece, but then fell into multiple pieces. "Impressive!" Spitfire commented "Take it those were the same skills you used to defeat Tirek?" "You could say that." "I just wanna know one thing: is it alright if we learn some of those fighting moves?" MORE STUDENTS!!! Only not as cute. "...I don't know," Deadpool replied "maybe it will-" "We'll pay you!" "...Done! I'll meet you at your headquarters." One pie and a few extra minutes later. Spitfire and Soarin stood, patiently waiting for Deadpool to appear. Luckily, Deadpool came in, still having the stupid butterfly wings, but was now in a karate suit & had on an old kung fu master beard. "...Really?" Spitfire asked "I am your master here!" Deadpool replied "And we will do things my way!" "What are we going to do?" Soarin asked, stretching his wings out. "You want to know how I fight, right?" "We do!" they both replied "Well, Welcome to the Deadpool Dojo: I trust that you are here to redeem yourself and to require the skills that are necessary to your goals. Are you ready, young ones? I shall give you my best. But first, let's see if you can challenge my rap." "Redeem ourselves?" Spitfire asked "Yong ones and Rap?" Soarin asked, turning to Deadpool "What do you mean by this?" Chinese sounding pop music began to play, followed by Deadpool releasing a martial artist scream! "♫Kick! Punch! It's all in the mind,♫" Deadpool rapped to the beat. "♫If you wanna test me, I'm sure you'll find. The things I'll teach ya is sure to beat ya. But nevertheless you'll get a lesson from the teacher.♫ Now Kick!!! "Kick!!!" The two responded, following all of Deadpool's moves. "Punch!" "Punch!" "Chop!" "Chop!" "Block!" "Block!" "Once more now Kick!" "Kick!" "Punch!" "Punch!" "Chop!" "Chop!" "And Block!" "Block!" "♫Don't get cocky, it's gonna get rocky, We gonna move down to the next ya jockey!♫ Now Duck!" "Duck!" "Jump!" "Jump!" "Turn!" "Turn!" "Pose!" "Pose!" "Listen Carefully: Jump!" "Jump!" "Pose!" "Pose!" "Duck!" "Duck!" "And Turn!" "Turn!" "♫Hm, yeah I see you're gettin better. Kick to the limit in order to get her!♫ Now Kick, Punch!" "Kick, punch!" "Chop, block!" "Chop, block!" "Chop, kick!" "Chop, kick!" "Punch, block!" "Punch, block!" "It's gonna get harder now! Duck and Jump!" "Duck, Jump!" "Turn and pose!" "Turn, Pose!" "Duck and turn!" "Duck, Turn!" "Jump and pose!" "Jump, pose!" "♫Come on now, why don'tcha follow my words? Because we're almost done, I'll make it easy at first. I wanna see if you wanna see what it means to be the man with the master plan, are you the man now?♫ Here we go, now! Kick, punch, block!!!" "Kick, punch, block!" "Chop, kick, block!" "Chop, kick, block!" "Block, turn, and kick it!!!" "Block, turn, kick!!!" "Block, duck, punch!" "Block, duck, punch!" "Duck, duck, turn!" "Duck, duck, turn!" "Jump, kick, chop!" "Jump, kick, chop!" "And Punch, punch, punch!!!" "Punch, punch, punch!!!" Deadpool released another kung fu scream, releasing both Spitfire and Soarin from his musical and 90's video game classic that was only remembered thanks to the boring Super Smash knock off. "That's it for today! Good job, my little ponies, you can go on to the next stage now!" "Next stage!?!?!?" They both asked. "More like, A selfie!" "A selfie!?!?!?" "A picture, okay?" "...Oh!" The two flew to Deadpool and he took their picture with the two of them! "Alright! Now, I must go!" Deadpool began to fly away. Just at the edge of the base, he fell down into unconsciousness. "DEADPOOL!!!" Soarin yelled "Don't worry about him." Spitfire spoke "if there's one thing I've heard, it's that he can't die!" "...you believe those words?" "No doubt about it!" At Twilight's house: "What do you think will happen to Deadpool?" Nyx asked "I don't know," Twilight responded "if he's lucky, he will just fall down and splat into the floor." "What's the worst?" "He falls into poison joke or, with his wings, he becomes a Breezie." "How do you know that?" "Books." "...Oh... should we look for him?" "He'll come back, sooner or later.