//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Your Plotline is in Another Castle // Story: A Man out of Place // by Thanatoaster //------------------------------// Three days later, and I was thumbing through Shakespeare's fifty-first sonnet, my music system still running tentatively on whatever ponies used to power their machines. ♫I'm your only friend, I'm not your only friend, But I'm a little glowing friend, But really I'm not actually your friend, But I am...♫ Shakespeare and They Might Be Giants. Strange combination, but it works. I was growing restless, the Early Modern English had begun to grate on me and the only interaction I had with anyone was the half-hour each day when 'Sunny' would visit me, or when Dr. Panacea came to check my IV drip or help me through some light physical therapy. I was getting better; I could walk around the room ten times without feeling sore now, which I did as often as my body would allow. Pacing helps me think, more importantly it helps me work off the need to go outside by thinking on what I've read, or what I've learned from the doctor and the Princess. They had told me that not only did they have the same method of keeping time as humans, they also had the same twelve months we did. It was December 29th today, which made my day of arrival December 22, 998th year of the "Celestial Era", whatever that was. The most important fact that I drew from that was that I had left my world on the summer solstice, and had shown up in this world on it's winter counterpart. It felt like too much of a coincidence, so I mentioned it to Celestia, hoping that it could help her or whoever she's commissioned to find a way to get me back home. I also learned that I had just missed Hearth's Warming, which is like a pony version of Christmas apparently, but with more emphasis on the day before it. I had no idea why. I would probably ask later. But what really had me climbing the walls was the fact that I was on top of a mountain, in the middle of winter, there was snow outside, and I was stuck in here twiddling my thumbs! I hadn't seen snow in years, and with it sitting right outside, it was all I could do to keep from trying to limp my way out there, propping myself up with my IV stand. I knew that my lack of proper clothing would mean hypothermia the instant I stepped outside, but a man can dream. I shut the book and set it aside, rubbing my eyes. If something didn't change soon, I was going to start playing Fruit Ninja again, which would eat into my phone's battery even more. I had already shut my iPod off multiple times to let it charge through the speaker base, but for some reason it wouldn't hold the charge. Either the battery was giving out or the alien power source had a seriously small shelf life. I laid back and hummed "Frosty the Snowman", replacing every word with "bored" in my mind and tapping out a faster, directionless beat on the guardrails of my bed. Just as I was about to get up and start pacing again, Dr. Panacea came in pushing a wheelchair, followed by Princess Celestia. "Good morning, Your Royal Highness. Hello, doctor," I said formally, inclining my head. I may not have been a real ambassador, but in a way I was still representing humanity, so I figured it was best not to step on anyone's toes, excluding a certain numbskull guard. "Good morning, Mr. Chambers," Dr. Panacea said. "And how are we feeling today?" "Like I'm going to go loco in the co-co if I'm cooped up in here any longer, doc," I said. Talking to 'Sunny' had helped me become comfortable enough around Celestia to act more like my normal self. "Is that wheelchair for me, Ma'am?" I directed at Celestia. "Yes indeed, Jack," Celestia said, using my nickname to subtly let me know that I could speak to her informally. The rules for talking to royalty are weird, but I'm glad I looked them up way back when; if Celestia were less laid-back, I'd be making a total fool of myself without them. "Do you remember when I asked you to meet somepony with me?" "Ah, so this is them?" I said, motioning to the wheelchair. I turned towards the inanimate object and mock-bowed. "Pleasure to make your acquaintance, Mr. Chair. You have very lovely wheels," I put special emphasis on the silent 'h', just to add comedic effect. The Princess chuckled behind her hand, while Dr. Pan snorted and rolled her eyes. "It's good that you're feeling well enough to clown around," Panacea said amicably, lifting a box out of the seat of the chair and levitating it over to me. "It makes me that much more confident about letting you go for the day." "Great. So, what's in the box?" I said, shaking it to try and see what was inside. "It's not Gwyneth Paltrow's head, is it?" "What?" "Movie reference," I said automatically as I opened the flaps. There was a stack of folded clothing inside. "Huh. Merry Christmas to me." "The pony we will be meeting today is in another building, across the courtyard," Celestia said as I examined the clothing, "so you might need something a bit warmer than a hospital gown." Whatever remark I had planned fell away as I pulled out the shirt that was sitting on top of my hiking boots at the bottom of the box. The shirt was dark gray, with a yellow oval on the front. Inside the oval... was the iconic shape of a bat. The material was thicker than the original, and the symbol was less faded, but it was clear what Celestia had done. I looked to the Princess, turning the shirt to show it to her. "You got me a new Batman shirt?" She smiled. "You seemed so torn up over your old one..." "You didn't have to do that for me, Princess." "No," she said, "but I wanted to. Ponies shouldn't need a reason to be kind or generous." "Thank you," I said, feeling the fabric in my hands. "Really. This means a lot to me." It's amazing how such small things can have such a big impact on a person. Having my shirt back was like having another small piece of home. It made my worries and doubts gnaw at me a bit less. It made me feel... safer. "You're most welcome, Jack," Celestia said. "So, am I supposed to get dressed now? What about this?" I asked, holding up my left arm with the IV in it. It would be awkward trying to put on a shirt with the tube and needle attached to just below the crook of my elbow. "The catheter we've used on you has a release near the base," Dr. Panacea said, "so we can just take the tubing off until you get your shirt on, then re-attach it under the sleeve of your jacket. Do you think you can dress yourself without help?" "Yeah, I'll be- wait, catheter?" I interrupted myself. Dr. Pan examined the machinery I was hooked to and pointedly avoided my eyes. "When you were first brought to me, I used a more invasive method of intravenous therapy meant for longer-term treatment, before I knew you could heal so quickly." I gaped. "You... you popped a cath in me, doc," I said incredulously. No wonder my arm felt stiff since I got here- there was a freaking tube inside it! The doctor stood straighter and narrowed her eyes at my readings. "At the time of your admission, I believed you would be recuperating for at least a month, not seven days. What's more, I had to adapt medical techniques designed for ponies to a being whose physiology I had never encountered before, and furthermore I had to make several educated guesses about your medical history to avoid exploratory surgery." She turned to me with a determined look. "I did what I believed would be best for you at the time. I stand by my decisions, Mr. Chambers." I was speechless for a moment in the face of such a passionate, logical argument. "Um. Okay. Sorry," I fumbled, apologizing without knowing why. Her gaze softened as Celestia spoke. "Don't be, Jack. You have no reason to." Dr. Panacea nodded. "The Princess is right. If anything, I should be apologizing to you." "N-no, you did what you thought was best. Let's call it water under the bridge." The doctor smiled in assent. "If it's any consolation, we'll be removing it in a few days- while you're asleep, of course," she added quickly upon seeing my alarmed look. "Uh, all right then. Can I get dressed now?" I said, trying to get things moving as quickly as possible. I wanted to go outside and see that snow. "Of course," Panacea said. "Do you need any help?" "I'm a big boy, doc. I can tie my own shoes and everything," I joked. I held out my arm and watched with squeamish fascination as she removed the plastic line from the base in my forearm. Despite what I said, I let her help me out of bed and to the bathroom. Not that I needed her to, or anything. I was just being polite. After about twenty minutes of Dr. Panacea doting on me while somehow still being clinically professional, we were on our way. The doctor had insisted that I be tangled into a spare blanket like a makeshift straightjacket, but I talked her down to letting me drape it over my legs and zipping up my hoodie. She also wouldn't let me push myself around, which was kind of a buzzkill. No wheelies for me today, I guess. As Dr. Pan wheeled me down the corridor, I pulled the black beanie I had been gifted over the bandages around my head. "How do ponies wear beanies, anyway?" "On our heads," Celestia answered me. I resisted the urge to facepalm at royalty. "Okay," I said patiently, "How do ponies wear beanies without their ears or horns getting in the way?" "We cut out holes for them," Celestia said simply. I gave her a look. "Really? Simple as that? Well then, there are no holes in mine, where did you find it?" "The same tailor I commissioned to make the rest of your clothes," Celestia replied. "... Either you're messing with me, or I'm an idiot and it really is that simple." Celestia said nothing. I narrowed my eyes. Well played, Princess. Well played. I turned away from the Princess, murmured something from Macbeth about equivocators, and examined the architecture of the hallway. The floor looked like marble, but I wasn't familiar with fancier building materials, so I couldn't be sure. The walls were made of stone, that much I could tell, but I couldn't for the life of me think of any stonework that was so naturally pastel-colored. Exquisite tapestries hung from the walls, interspersed with hand-painted artwork. Sculptures and the like sat atop pedestals at regular intervals along the hall. Overall, the place tried to give an air of wealth, prosperity, and royal sophistication. To me, it all just looked hard to clean. I looked out one of the vaulted windows and my jaw dropped. Celestia had told me that Canterlot was on a mountain. I had thought she meant into the side somewhere, or maybe around a cliff at the base, like Minas Tirith. I wasn't expecting it to be built all over the mountaintop. Let me clarify: Minas Tirith looked pretty large in the movies, maybe the size of a modern city's downtown area. That's pretty big for a fantasy setting where indoor plumbing may-or-may-not exist yet. Canterlot, by comparison, was massive. I had been to New York once before, walked around the Big Apple, and become thoroughly convinced that Times Square itself was trying to kill me. From what I could see, Canterlot looked as big as New York City. All five boroughs. That is, if NYC was thousands of feet above sea level and built like an architect's wet dream. And all of it, every inch, was covered in pure, perfect, powdery snow. A feeling of giddiness bloomed in my chest the more I looked out at the winter wonderland before me. A moment later, I became faintly aware that Celestia had been calling my name. "I'm dead..." I muttered. "Jack?" she called, sounding perturbed. "I died, there was a clerical error, and now I'm in snowy heaven," I smiled, looking out the window. The ponies chuckled. "Do you see this?" I asked, gesturing outward. "Every day, Jack," Celestia said. "Now, if you're done admiring the wonderful view, there is a pony waiting to meet you." I might have protested, but Dr. Panacea rolled my chair away from the window before I could. "Aww," I groused. "You'll get to see it up close when we move through the courtyard," Dr. Pan said. I perked up immediately. "What are we waiting for, then? Lead on, Your Highness."