//------------------------------//
// Prompt #7: Last Resort 
// Story: Ponywatching 
// by ThunderTempest 
//------------------------------//

“She’s. An. Idiot,” grumbled Rainbow Dash, thunking her head into the trunk of the apple tree she was resting in with each word. “Seriously, how could Twilight Sparkle, the princess of eggheads, be this stupid?” Rainbow thunked her head against the apple tree a few more times for good measure.

Rainbow Dash was no genius, but she was observant. Heck, she was nothing if not observant. That was why she was the first one to know that Pinkie Pie had serious hots for Fluttershy and Twilight Sparkle. And it was why Rainbow knew that Fluttershy also loved Pinkie Pie and Twilight Sparkle. Before even Rarity knew, even. Flutters might have been able to hide her feelings from everypony else, but Rainbow had known Fluttershy for a long time. 

And sure, with a little nudge on her part, she had managed to get Pinkie and Flutters to try out a relationship. A relationship that the two were pretty happy in, and had lasted a few years now. Rainbow paused in her head-thunking for a second.

“I’m more like Rares than I thought. Dammit,” she muttered, thudding her head back into the tree. But even though Pinkie and Fluttershy were both together now, Rainbow could tell from how Pinkie Pie still went out of her way to visit Twilight every day, or the way that Fluttershy listened a little more closely when Twilight started to talk about magic that her friends feelings for the egghead hadn’t gone away.

So, with a little help from Rarity, (okay, the entire thing had been Rarity’s idea) she’d managed to get the two of them to confess their mutual attraction to Twilight to each other, at least. But then came the problem of Twilight Sparkle herself.

After much coaxing on Rarity’s part, Fluttershy had agreed to give a threesome a try, provided Twilight was willing. Pinkie had needed no convincing. And for the last month, Rainbow had been dropping hints left, right and center.

“Say, Twilight, I think I remember hearing Pinkie and Flutters needed some help out at Fluttershy’s. Maybe you could go and help satisfy them?”

“Hey, Twi, you have any wild stories from Canterlot?”

“Twilight, Pinkie was telling me about this weird thing yesterday called a ‘triple layer’ that she wanted to try out. She really wanted you to help her out, and she’s already got Fluttershy in for it.”

“Hey, egghead, Pinkie and Fluttershy were wondering if you’d like to play some three-way chess with them in Flutters’ cottage.”

That last one was what had Rainbow banging her head into one of Applejack’s trees, because Twilight had gone over to Fluttershy’s. And. Played. Chess.

Rainbow slumped down with a sigh, her back against the trunk of the tree. It wasn’t like Twilight didn’t have any feelings for Pinkie or Fluttershy, either. That, Rainbow could have understood. No, Twilight Sparkle was being an idiot because Rainbow could tell that Twilight felt something for both Pinkie and Fluttershy. Seriously, the way Twilight always spoke a little softer around Fluttershy, or that grin and roll of the eyes whenever Pinkie Pie decided to invade the library with noisemakers? Totally like-beyond-friendship. Even Applejack thought so, and Applejack was the least romantic pony that Rainbow knew.

Rainbow was running out of ideas. Right now, she was down to flying up to Twilight and straight up telling her that ‘Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy are both in love with you,’, or getting Twilight drunk and throwing her through Fluttershy’s window on a Thursday night. Because really, what normal pony couldn’t pick up on the signals that Rainbow was sending, and who would seriously pass on Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy? Especially when they were willing?

Rainbow sighed.

“I’ll give that egghead idiot one more chance, then it’s ‘throw her through a window’ time,” she muttered to herself, flying off towards Ponyville proper.

*******

She found Twilight Sparkle reading, naturally. Using her keen observation skills, Rainbow could pick out that the book was ‘Fluctuations in the Quantum Magic Field and You.’ Total egghead stuff.

“Hey, Twilight!” said Rainbow, swooping down for a landing, and barely kicking up any dust in the process.

“Hi there Rainbow,” said Twilight, looking up from her book, “I was just doing some leisure reading. Is there anything you wanted?”

Rainbow thought for a second, before deciding that she’d try the direct approach first.

“Look, Pinkie and Fluttershy wanted me to tell you something.”

“Oh? What is it, Rainbow?” asked Twilight, snapping her book closed.

“They’re kind of both in love with you. They want to, if you want to, try out a three-way relationship.”

Pegasus stared at alicorn. Twilight Sparkle broke the brief silence by smiling and shaking her head.

“Nice prank, Rainbow. Where’s Pinkie Pie? Seriously, how could either of them be in love with me? I’m just a pony, and not all that special.”

Rainbow sighed. 

“For somepony so smart, you’re such an idiot, Twilight,” said Rainbow, deciding on a course of action, because that was what Rainbow Dash did. She got stuff done. Screw getting Twilight drunk. Rainbow launched forward, her hooves wrapping around Twilight’s barrel, and taking wing in the direction of Fluttershy’s cottage. On the way, she spotted Pinkie Pie on her way there. With a swoop, Rainbow scooped Pinkie off her hooves, and flew as fast as she could towards Fluttershy’s.

Luckily, Rainbow knew that Fluttershy’s window was almost always open. Pinkie went first, tossed through the opening as she whooped with joy. Twilight Sparkle followed soon after.

“Talk!” Rainbow Dash yelled at the occupants, “or have sex, whichever! Just do something!”