High School, Where Friendship Kinda Sucks

by Script

Oh, this sucks even more

Chapter 4
Oh, this sucks even more

Twilight walked to school that day, having missed the bus, in a disgruntled fashion.

At least, until..

Honk! Honk!

"Hey, Twilight! Need a ride?"

Twilight turned to see Spike in a green BMW with a large purple stripe going up the middle stopped right next to her.

In the back seat sat Dash and Pinkie, who were messing around with some...was that whipped cream?

Twilight climbed into the front seat and smiled at him. She didn't even consider the fact that BMWs usually beep, not honk.


They soon began driving again, and Dash eventually got tired of seeing how much whipped cream Pinkie could stuff in her mouth and leaned over to the front.

"Hey, lovebirds. How's it hanging?"

Twilight rolled her eyes while Spike's cheeks tinged pink.

"I see you took up Pinkie's whipped cream offer, but the backseat of Spike's car isn't the best place to lose your virginity."

Spike laughed as Dash grumbled something about not being a dyke.

He pulled up into the school's parking lot and got out, stretching his biceps a little as he did so.

Twilight watched this as she got out.

"How is every girl and gay/bisexual boy not watering at the mouth?" She whispered to herself.

"Because he turns down everyone who asks him out. I have sneaking suspicion he's gay."

Twilight gasped.


Pinkie shrugged.

"What? You asked a question and I answered it. You should be thanking me! Now you know you don't have a chance with him."


Twilight walked away, an irritated look on her face.

Pinkie looked at Dash.

"Was it something I said?"


"You there! Trixie demands your attention!"

Twilight groaned. Trixie stormed up to her.

"Trixie didn't get your name two days ago! She demands it!"

Twilight put a hand on her shoulder.

"Listen, Pixie,"


"Same thing. I don't give a single shit about anything you do and say, so from now on, every time you say something to me, I'm going to say the same thing over and over again until you stop. 'Kay?"

Trixie shoved her hand off of her shoulder.

"Trixie will not let you annoy her anymore. Tell her your name!"

Twilight began to walk away.

"I love you too." She called back.


"I love you too."

"How dare you!"

"I love you too."


"Ah don't think I get it yet."

"I don't think you can think."

Twilight looked up from her book.

"Shh! This is a library! Be quiet!"

"Who died and made you librarian?"

Twilight looked up at Applejack with pure hatred in her eyes.

"The same person who's on her way over to shut you up."

Applejack quickly turned her head.

"Made you look."

Rarity pouted and blew a strand of hair out of her face.

"So immature."

"So hypocritical." Applejack commented snidely.

Twilight looked up again.

"One, that's my line. Two, do you even know what 'hypocrites' are?"


"Who's a hypocrite like then?"


"..... I actually don't have a snide comment for that."


"...... Shut up, Applejack."


Twilight sat down for lunch with Spike, Dash and Pinkie, when she noticed something, or someone, on the table.

"Who's that?"

Twilight was staring into the eyes of the devil. His purple irises perplexed her, and compelled her to do something horrible, like burn down a homeless shelter or something.

Pinkie smiled.

"This is Gummy, my pet alligator. Don't worry, he doesn't have any teeth, just really hard gums, so he can't bite anyone. And it's his birthday today, so I brought him into school to celebrate!"

Twilight nodded, still enchanted by the alligator's stare.

"He's very.....pretty..."

Pinkie giggled.

"He is. But he's gay, sorry."

Rainbow squirted ketchup onto her burger.

"Wonder where he gets that from."

Twilight was about to tell her when she heard it.

"You! Trixie demands you come here so she can embarrass you in front of the student body!"

".... Fuck."

Dash got up and stretched.

"Well, I'm getting a front seat to this show. If you need me, I'll be sitting over there."

Pinkie beamed and quickly ran after her.

"Wait up, Dashie!"

Spike gave Twilight a two fingered salute.

"Good luck."

Twilight groaned.

"I thought you were meant to be my friends!"

"We were!"

Twilight mumbled a few curse words and composed herself.

"Trixie, what do you want?"

"Trixie wants your pride!"

"....I'm going to pretend you didn't say that."

"Trixie demands you fight her!"

Nearby Twilight heard Rainbow say, in an cockney accent, "What?! Fisticuffs!?"

Twilight contemplated throwing a brick at her.

But then realised it would be a waste of a good brick.

"One, Trixie, you are really getting on my nerves." Twilight pointed a middle finger at Dash. "Two, you need to stop quoting movies. It was cool at first, but you need to stop now."

".... You're gonna need a bigger boat."

Twilight, in her rage of fury, accidentally put her fist on Trixie's face full force when she tried to fist bump her.

At least, that's what she told Principal.

Celestia blinked twice.

"You punched her, by accident, because you were trying to fist bump her after she proposed a fight."

Twilight nodded firmly.

"And you expect me to believe that?"

".... Yes."

"Then you're completely correct. You're dismissed. And remember to bring Applejack to class 2B second period for her test, alright?"