//------------------------------// // Trial of Courage #2 The race // Story: The Magical Adventures of Travis the Troll: Episode 3 The Trials of Sir Dango XIV // by The Angry Dango of Doom //------------------------------// The five's vision cleared of the blinding light once more, and reveled to them a large garage. Inside the garage lay a large machine, it looked almost like a jet. But it had no wings, but two large stabilizers on both sides. "So" Twilight squinted "Where ARE we???" Sir Dango XIV shuffled over to the machine "We are in my secret garage in another Dimension.Place is called Mute City or something. Anyways this machine here runs at the speed of sound. it's pretty metal" "Oh, so that 'Little' race you said means this?" Luna inspected it "'Little' might be understating it a bit..." Sir Dango XIV chuckled Twilight chuckled to herself in the back still blazed as all hell "And you want me to pilot 'dat 'ting 'mon!?!" Travis Stumbled back "Well I made the machine to race myself, initially, BUT as you can see I have no arms or legs to do it myself." Twilight laughed again "Then how'd you manage building the thing?" "Hard work and determination." He said flatly "That makes no sense though, how did you actually build it?" Luna asked "HAAAAAARD, WOOOORK," he started to lean into Luna "AND DETERMINAAAAAAATION!" he stopped inches from her face "a-alright then" She stammered Travis pressed the button on the control panel that opened the cockpit "Ay 'mon, I don't even know how to drive dis 'ting 'mon" "I'll tell ya. Don't worry." "You're going to just throw him into the fray like that?" Luna worried "Eh, he'll be fine." Twilight continued giggling in the back "I hope so!" Her front legs split apart and she fell face first into the floor "Yeah, you're really helpin' 'mon..." Travis sighed "You're welcome!" Twilight yelled between her giggles Luna picked Twilight up off the ground "Apparently being high takes away her sense of sarcasm. And so it seems her balance as well..." "She can't handle her weed, can she?" Sir Dango XIV laughed Travis laughed "Na, 'mon. She hates the stuff." He climbed into the machine that was perfectly suited for him to sit in "Makes sense." Sir Dango XIV turned to Travis "Alright, That pedal makes you go faster, that one slows you down, the trigger on the right of the wheel shifts you to the right, and the other one to the left. and you turn the thing to turn." "Self explanatory for the most part, Travis." Luna kept placing Twilight on her hooves "Yeah 'mon." "Oh yeah, and on your right there is a boost. Hit that and you go rocketing off like a motherfucker." "So you built this to work with hands?" Luna asked "Yes." Sir Dango XIV confirmed "Ay 'mon but you don't even got hands." Travis felt the controls "Yes." He said again "Uh, whateva 'mon" "Oh yeah, and that one on the right rockets you to the side real hard. Good for knocking other racers out." "You mean that you want Travis to hurt random ponies?" Luna's eyes widened in concern "They're not ponies. They're people, at least some of them are. The others are like aliens or some shit." "People? Like humans 'mon?" "Yeah, Humans." Travis' eyes glared off into the distance, remembering a time long ago when he was still in Azeroth. "Ay Carlos! Dis weed be cash as shit!" Travis sat with his raptor buddy and sack of marijuana. His raptor friend growled in excitement over the haul they had just received. Just then a strange being appeared in the distance riding in on a horse. It stopped a few feet in front of Travis and Carlos and dismounted. It ran up to the two and started dancing. He wore a blue bodysuit and a red helmet with a large ax sheathed on his back. He swayed his hips and pointed up and down to the non existent disco music. Travis smiled "Greetings, friend!" But the man didn't respond and continued dancing. Travis looked worried as if the man was damaged in the head. He reached out to him and touched his shoulder, a white text rose up saying'MISS' then the man grabbed the ax off his back and with a mighty spin cut down the troll with yellow text rising up saying '100,000,000!', he laughed and sat on his face then stood up repeatedly for some reason. Travis woke up in a graveyard, with the world turned a blue gray and the sky with a vortex in the center of it. Angrily traveling back to his corpse, he had seen the man stolen the bag of weed he had worked so hard to obtain. From that day, he vowed if he ever saw that man again, that he wouldn't hold back. Travis looked up from the cockpit with blazing eyes "Let's do 'dis 'ting 'mon!" "Alright then!" Sir Dango XIV turned to Travis "Race actually starts right now. So it's time you get goin', I'll show you to your place." Travis jumped out of the machine and Sir Dango XIV pressed the button the on the control panel that rose the machine though a passage way in the ceiling. "Alright, I've registered you as a racer, all you gotta do is go down this hallway and you'll run into someone down there who'll lead you to the track. They'll call your name and you just walk out to your machine and they'll start you on the race." "Got it 'mon." Travis walked down the hallway There was an girl who was blue and had fish-like eyes and two parallel tentacles coming from her head to her lower back as if it were hair, and wearing a white uniform "Hi there! Travis, right?" She checked her space age clipboard "Yeah, 'mon 'dats me" "Right this way! So," She started walking "First time racing in the F-Zero GP?" "Yeah 'mon." "Well I wish you luck. Some of these racers are a bit more tough, and will try to knock you around," She turned right "but if you keep your eyes up, you can use that against them. Seen a few racers knock out more reckless racers. I'm sure you'll do great!" She smiled "Alright, thanks 'mon." "Your entrance is right here." She pointed to a room"They'll call your name and position, then you just have to walk into the doorway there and you'll see your machine in position Twenty-four." She smiled and bowed "Again, good luck!" Travis walked into the room, it was set up with a couch, a small table, and some bottled water. He grabbed one and sat himself in the extra soft couch. 'I need one of 'dees back in my castle 'mon'. Ten minutes passed and he heard racer number Twenty-two being called, though he didn't catch the name. He heard the loudspeaker come online again "Coming in position twenty-four! New comer, Travis! Racing in the Silver Hawk!" The crowd cheered the newcomer as he walked out onto the track, and Travis raised his hands to his face shouting "AYY FOR THE HORDE!" "Coming in position twenty-five! The legend, CAPTAIN FALCON!!!" The crowd roared "In the machine you know and love, Blue Falcon!" He walked out flexing and showing off his moves. He turned and saw the new machine sitting on the track, and approached it. "Hello there!" He said with his deep man voice "New racer, huh?" Travis, on the other side of the Vehicle responded "Yeah' 'mon. I never raced before" "Well, I hope to see you in the after race party!" He rounded the side of the machine and came into view of the Troll Travis stopped. He saw the muscular falcon themed man, and his eyes burned with a feeling of pure hatred and revenge. "Good luck, friend." He extended his hand in a sign of sportsmanship and friendliness Travis responded by yanking the man's arm with his left instantly dislocating it, and brought down his right upon the man's head, shattering the Red helmet like it was glass. Falcon screamed in horror while falling to the ground. The stands roared in utter shock as the super star fell to the ground. Travis pounced on the man and made a bloodcurdling cry as he started to pound the captain's face into a crimson puddle. The sound he emitted was that of a banshee's scream and elephants having sex. While he pounded the captain's face into the metal floor white and yellow text rose up in all forms of numbers. Security quickly swarmed the area in an attempt to pry the raging beast from the innocent man. But his sheer size and strength easily outmatched four men. They had no choice but to use tranquilizer darts. They shot one into Travis, but to no effect! He picked up the still screaming Falcon and slammed him into the guards around him shattering his left leg. Two more darts came flying into the troll, only slowing him slightly. He threw the Captain against his machine shattering his rib cage. Four more darts lodged themselves into Travis' back finally stopping the berserking beast. A paramedic team rushed out onto the track and heaved the bloodied Falcon onto a stretcher. The sobs of the Captain could be heard as they hurried him to the futuristic ambulance. The Paramedic turned to the fellow racers who had rushed to see the fight, and said "Looks like this Captain won't be showing any of his moves for a long time." he ducked his head and shed a tear. The police arrived and cuffed the sedated beast, and hauled him into the car. "Holy shit!" Sir Dango XIV laughed uncontrollably from the spectators box "Oh Sweet Celestia!" Luna watched in horror Twilight rolled on the floor laughing even harder than Sir Dango XIV at this point. "Damn, I didn't know he had that in him!" Sir Dango XIV cried "Holy shit, we need to go get him!" "Right." Luna nodded and set her fellow princess onto the Raptor with magic The four traveled out into the parking lot where Sir Dango XIV had stationed a car. "How will we drive this thing?" Luna examined the controls "They're made for use with hands!" "I dunno" Sir Dango XIV climbed into the back seat with Carlos "use your magic or something." "Why in all of Equestria would you have a contraption you couldn't even operate?" She placed Twilight in the passenger seat and took the driver's seat "Ughhhhh, God damnnn, Whateverrr" He enveloped the both princesses in a magical cocoon "W'what are you doing!" Luna managed to say before the cocoon enveloped her face "Don't worry about it" Sir Dango XIV lowered the magic The magic lowered and the two sat, no longer ponies, but as people. Twilight woke up "Ugh my head" she rubbed her temples moaning "W-why am I like this?" she looked at her hands and back at Luna"Vice Principle Luna?" "No, it is I Princess Luna. Apparently Sir Dango XIV has the power to alter forms as well." "Yeah, now lets get going. Car's a manual by the way." "Where are we?" Twilight groaned "A place." Sir Dango XIV explained thoroughly "Ugh, yeah I coulda' figured that..." Twilight got annoyed "It seems as though the smoke has worn off." Luna pressed the clutch and turned the ignition, starting the car "Wait. You know how to drive this thing?" Luna sighed "I was acting when I said I didn't know what Travis' Ferrari was. The truth is, that I actually sneak into that Mirror World you went through. Quite a bit actually." Luna sped off into the streets. "You do?" "Originally I wanted to just see what that place was like, but then I got into street racing, which I am currently holder of three street titles" She smiled "Then I got into the dining. The night life over there is quite enthralling. I should take you one of these days." She weaved through traffic "Umm, no thanks. I prefer to stay away from that kind of excitement." Twilight turned to the bread ball "But why'd you have to change me too?" "Low profile, I mean there are aliens walking around, but no horses. Less weird to them, or something like that." "But the raptor?" "Oh, uh. Here." He spawned a meat chunk "eat this The raptor quickly devoured the chunk, his eyes widened and his mouth hung open Luna stopped the car at a light and turned her head "What was that?" Carlos spoke like Christ Tucker "Holy shit man, is this what it's like to have free thought?!?" "Now no one will question it." Sir Dango XIV said proudly "Hmm, yes. No one will question the giant blue bread ball. Celestia forbid the raptor doesn't speak." Luna continued driving "Where are we going anyway?" "Oh, yeah. He was taken to jail. So it'll be in the police station. He's prolly' going to be on trial for maiming that poor guy." he chuckled "Where exactly is it?" Luna sighed "Hell if I know..." "OH LOOK AT THAT!" Carlos shouted sticking his head out the window like a dog "Just put it into the GPS of the car." "GPS?" Twilight looked back at Sir Dango XIV again " Yeah, press that thing right there and tell it the name. It'll take you there. I'mma take a nap in the meantime." "Wow..." Twilight sighed and searched the console for buttons "I don't know what to look for, I usually drive old muscle cars. Not these futuristic cars." Luna glanced down at the many nobs and buttons "OH WHAT'S THAT!!!" Carlos shouted out the window again but the two ladies ignored him "This one?" Twilight pushed it and turned on the radio Luna laughed "Guess not." "There's one that says menu." Twilight pressed it and a hologram appeared "Oh, wow." her eyes glittered at the technology. "Seems this place is far ahead of that Mirror World technologically." Luna glanced down at it Twilight pressed a few holographic buttons and opened up the 'GPS' and smiled "Got it." pressing more she turned the guidance on "Wasn't too hard." "Turn right, at the next intersection." The guidance spoke "It even talks?" Twilight's eyes glittered again "What's a Whataburger?" Carlos read the sign "OH SHIT. SOMEONE SAY WHATABURGER?!?" Sir Dango XIV jumped up "Ay, Luna ya'll gotta go there right quick!" "Alright, but only because I've been famished for the past hour" She stopped by the speaker box Twilight read the sign"What's a 'burger'?" "It's food that these people make." "Hello!" A voice from the speaker greeted the four "Welcome to Whataburger! May I take your order?" "Lunaaaaa. Get a a tripple with cheese and bacon." Sir Dango XIV hissed into her ear "Alright, I know you'll like a double, Twilight. And I guess we'll get five patties to feed to the Raptor. Then we have to get something for Travis too I guess." Luna turned and ordered the meal and was told to go to the window. "Here" Sir Dango XIV fabricated a fifty dollar bill from magic "Use this." Luna handed the lady the bill, received her change, and two large sacks of delicious food and sugary beverages. "Alright let's get Travis and get out of here." Sir Dango XIV took the two bags The four continued driving through the futuristic city and finally arrived to the police station, where they arrived to a gruesome scene of many fallen policemen and women. They saw a still raging beast of a troll ripping the people to shreds with brute strength. "TRAVIS!" Luna shouted He stopped and turned to the car "Oh hey 'mon! Give one second." He turned and blocked a taser shot with his bow returned fire with his arrow passing right through his neck. He turned and ran to the getaway vehicle and jumped in "Hey man don't smash the burgers" Sir Dango XIV pulled the bags closer to him "So how'd you know it was us, Travis? You haven't seen either of us in this form." Twilight turned to the battle bloody troll "eh well 'mon, you're purple and she's blue, and there's a giant bread monsta' stittin' in hea'. It be kinda obvious." Luna peeled out of the scene leaving a huge smoke cloud. The sound of helicopters and swat trucks swarmed the area. Luna drifted down a turn and drove up onto a highway " How are we going get out of here?!?" "Hold on 'mon" Travis stood up and faced a tailing helicopter. He grabbed a bow with three sticks of dynamite strapped to it." Get down!" the arrow went sailing into the helicopter "Sweet Celestia!!!" Twilight shielded her head and ducked down The road ahead was completely blocked by squad cars."Oh my!" Luna slid into a full U-turn "there's no way out!" she shouted as the helicopters swarmed the skies. She rocketed off in the direction she came. "OH! PRESS THAT ONE!" Sir Dango XIV shouted "The red one?" Twilight asked panicking "Yes!" Sir Dango XIV held onto the two bags as if they were his children She pressed the button and the console flipped inside out to reveal a glowing white Y shaped object "Now get this baby to 88Mph and we'll see some serious shit!" Sir Dango XIV yelled over the sound of gunfire "Got it!" Luna shifted the gear up again The speedometer quickly ticked up and up till it reached 88Mph. It stopped at 88Mph making blue sparks shoot out from the the front of the car and parts of the body emitting blue light. The helicopters and squad cards swarmed the car as it sped down the highway. Both the sparks and the lights grow brighter and brighter until it was completely engulfed in light. The road sat with helicopters circling the skies and squad cars slamming the breaks. Two long flame trails lay in the wake of the blinding ball of light, and a license plate spun on its corner eventually falling to the ground. A man stepped out of one squad car removing his sunglasses quickly "Great Scott!"