Blackest Knight
Chapter 15
“YOU SAID WHAT?!”
John realized that telling Twilight about his conversation with Luna may not have been the smartest idea. Maybe he should have at least kept his sass a secret, but Twilight was almost as fun to tease as Luna. Almost.
“She is a princess!” Twilight looked as if she was about to have a panic attack. “She will be angry and that will get Princess Celestia mad as well. They are probably on their way over here right now to banish you to the moon! And since you’re living with me, and that means thatCelestiawillalsobanishmetothemoonorworseshe’llsendmebacktoMagicKindergartenandIcan’tgobacktoMagicKindergartenbecause …” John placed a hand over the lavender mare’s mouth. She had not taken a breath the entire last few sentences and rushed the words together.
“I am sure that all will be fine,” The human reassured her. “Luna is a big girl and can take care of herself.”
He released Twilight and she took a deep breath. “I guess you’re right.”
“Of course I am, now what’s on the schedule.”
Twilight pulled a checklist out of seemingly nowhere and started reading, “Spike is going to organize the library while I take you on a tour of the town, right after we double check the checklist.”
“That’s your checklist for the entire day?” John was still trying to figure out where she pulled it from.
“Yep.”
“And we need to double check it?” He gave up and just looked at her.
“Yep.”
“But there are only three things on it, and one of them is double checking the checklist.” John could already feel that living with these ponies may be a little harder than he first figured, especially if they were all like the teleporting pink one.
“And that one is the most important one.”
John tried to digest what she just said, as well as why she thought it was the most obvious thing in the world. He shook his head and decided to just return to the guest room and don his weapon. He did not need his armor, but he almost felt naked without some protection. He said so to Twilight when she asked him why he needed the large sword.
“Alright, well let’s go then,” the lavender mare led him into the fine town of Ponyville. “I already double checked the checklist.”
“Of course you did.”
Their first stop was Carousel Boutique. Rarity was one of the few Bearers not openly hostile toward John. That is not to say she was completely accepting of John either.
“Hello Twilight,” The white unicorn cheerfully greeted her friend. The biped didn’t even get a glance as the two entered the small clothing shop.
“Hello Rarity, I brought John to meet you.”
“I saw that,” her tone was not exactly friendly, but it was an acknowledgement. John was a glass half full kind of guy.
Twilight however, shot a very disapproving glare at her friend. The two locked eyes in silent argument until Rarity relented.
“Hello John,” she said tersely.
“It is a pleasure to meet you Rarity.”
“So do you have other business here? I do have many things I need to attend to.”
Twilight was about to leave, disappointed in her friend, but John noticed something about the white mare. His quick eyes had scanned the shop and he grinned as he said, “Actually, I was hoping to talk clothes.”
Rarity had to work very hard to resist the bait, and hesitated before answering, “Um … well … what kind of … clothes.”
John silently chuckled to himself, he could tell that fashion design was her passion. “Well, I was kind of big into human fashion myself, and I was wondering about the differences between the pony fashion culture and my own.” It wasn’t really a lie, he did have a girlfriend that always took him clothes shopping. For both of them. He suppressed a shudder at remembering that skinny jean fad.
Rarity’s eyes shone at the chance to learn another species’ fashion sense. She completely forgot that she disliked him moments ago. John was assaulted by question after question before Rarity dragged him deeper into her shop and began taking measurements. Her work did not stop the flow of questions, however.
John and Twilight didn’t get out of the Boutique until nearly lunchtime. Rarity had lightened up to John, and even began work on several pieces of new clothing for him.
“That was impressive,” Twilight noted. “Usually it takes Rarity a while to sway from disliking someone to liking them.”
John chuckled, “I’m just a good judge of character and personality.” He saw that the sun was high in the sky. “Where to next.”
Twilight’s grumbling stomach answered for her. “I guess we can go to Sugarcube Corner. You can meet Pinkie and we’ll get something to eat.”
“You can get something, I don’t eat,” John replied as he followed her to the establishment.
“I know your digestive system doesn’t need food, but you really don’t eat for at least flavor?”
“Well I would if I could, I actually can’t eat. My stomach just doesn’t accept the food.”
Twilight looked at him with wide eyes, “So you haven’t even been able to eat since the enhancements?”
“Nope.”
She was silent for a moment, “That can’t be easy.”
He chuckled, “I do find myself wanting to eat sometimes, but more out of craving than hunger. My stomach never gets hunger pains. Plus, I don’t have to take the time to eat, I can use that time elsewhere.”
She laughed, “I guess there are upsides.”
They quickly reached Sugarcube Corner and entered. The restaurant was empty except for a blue mare with a pink mane working the counter. The mare smiled as she saw Twilight, but the smile faltered when John followed her in. It quickly returned and she greeted them. “Hello Twilight! Hello mister …”
“My name is John, can I ask for yours?”
The mare’s smile widened at his polite manners, and replied, “My name is Mrs. Cake. My husband is in the back somewhere.”
“Can we ask where Pinkie is?” Twilight asked.
Mrs. Cake looked around, “Er … I actually don’t know where she is.”
Suddenly, John got the urge to check his surroundings again. He scanned in front of him to reveal only the shop and the blue mare. He looked behind him and saw only the door. When he turned to face the mare, His vision was filled by a pink face, blue eyes, and an extremely wide smile. He also suddenly felt weight being applied to his shoulders and waist, as if a pony was hanging off him. This was the second time since coming to Equestria that he nearly jumped out of his skin.
“Hello John!” Pinkie pie continued to hang off him. John heard Twilight yelp in surprise and Mrs. Cake groan.
“Uh, hello.” John stared into the large blue eyes, trying to discern anything about this mysterious earth pony. “Your name is Pinkie Pie?”
“Yes.”
“It is nice to meet you Pinkie Pie.” John felt her weight leave him as she jumped off. She then began to hop in place.
“It’s nice to meet you too John, even though we met before, but you didn’t know my name then.” She stopped hopping. It would not have been disconcerting to John, except for the fact that she happened to stop in mid-air. “You didn’t know my name,” she said as if a revelation hit her. Twilight rolled her eyes and went to buy a cupcake.
John waved a hand above her head, no strings. “Yes, you said that already.”
“That means that I never met you before.” She was still hovering.
John waved a hand underneath her hooves, nothing to stand upon. “That is so.”
“That means that you are new in town, because I know everyone in town.”
“I am, and I somehow do not doubt that you do.” John waved both hands around and in front of her, but felt no resistance.
The pink mare suddenly moved, still in mid-air, and posed in an expression of triumph, hooves raised above her head. “That means that I get to throw you a Welcome To Ponyville and Thank You For Saving Canterlot Party!”
“Does it now?” John finally gave up on trying to understand her physics. “Well I guess you need to get a big banner to write down the whole title.”
The pink mare finally dropped to the ground with a gasp, “You’re right.” She looked at him, “We’re going to be good friends.”
John smiled, “That’s good.”
The pink mare paused before asking, “Do you like pranks?”
“I don’t like pranks,” John’s smile grew to a mischievous grin, “I love pranks.”
Twilight had to drag John out of Sugarcube corner with her magic. “Come on, we need to meet the other ponies.” She had a really bad feeling about leaving him with Pinkie for too long.
“Alright, but I would appreciate being able to walk.”
Twilight looked back and realized she was literally dragging him. She let go of her magic and he picked himself up. “Who next?”
“Well I don’t really know where to find Rainbow Dash, so I guess we will see Applejack next.”
“Which ones are they?” John asked.
“Applejack is the orange earth pony. Rainbow Dash is the cyan pegasus with a rainbow mane.”
John chuckled, “I probably should have figured Rainbow then.”
Twilight laughed as well as they made their way to Sweet Apple Acres. They filled the trip with idle chatter. John tried to learn a little bit about the farming mare. Twilight told him that she was a hardworking mare that took pride in her work. Being the Element of Honesty, what you saw with her was the honest truth.
They approached the farmhouse and Applejack came out the door. She threw a cold glance at John before addressing Twilight, “What are ya’ll doing here with that thing.”
Twilight was shocked that her friend was immediately hostile. She stopped in her tracks at Applejack’s cold words.
John decided to try and ease the tension. “Hello, my name is John, and I would prefer not to be called a thing.”
Applejack shot him a glare before turning back to Twilight.
“Applejack,” The unicorn began, “Why are you being so rude?”
“Why did you bring a monster here?”
John sighed internally, “Actually I was here to meet you. And I prefer not to be called monster either, John is fine.”
Applejack ignored him. Twilight looked like she was about to burst into tears. She had never seen this side of her friend before.
John looked around at the apple trees surrounding them. “This is a nice farm here,” John earned another glare from Applejack. He had her attention, even if she assumed that he might threaten her farm. “I can see you do all the work by hand, er, hoof I mean.” He looked at Applejack. “I respect that.”
The orange mare blinked in surprise, taken off guard by the compliment. “What?”
John continued, “I respect that you put time and effort into your produce. Many farmers in my world rely more and more upon technology. Almost no produce is made by hand, whatever is, is grown in small personal gardens. To manage such huge, successful orchards by hoof is a job well done.”
Applejack’s glare softened as John spoke. She paused after he finished. “Mah name’s Applejack.”
John smiled and approached her, “My name is John.” He held out a hand. She took his hand with her hoof and shook it.
“Why don’t ya’ll come in? Granny Smith made apple pie.”
John looked back at Twilight. She stared at him in disbelief. He gestured to follow Applejack. They entered the farm house behind the orange mare.
John and Twilight left Applejacks house about two hours before Celestia lowered the sun. John had made a good impression with the mare. He wasn’t exactly favored in her eyes, but she was no longer hostile. John had a lot of work ahead of him before she would consider calling him friend.
“So should we try to find Rainbow Dash?” John asked.
Twilight looked at the position of the sun. “Yeah, we probably can for an hour or so.”
They quickly searched the town for the cyan mare, but had no luck.
“Is it just me?” John asked. “Or does it seem like the streets are empty?”
“You’re right,” Twilight replied, “maybe everypony is just in bed.”
They gave up their search and returned to the library. John walked in first. For the third time since coming to Equestria, John nearly jumped out his skin as a pink face with large blue eyes and a wide smile suddenly dominated his vision.
Weight suddenly occupied John’s shoulders and waist as multiple voices shouted, “SURPRISE!”