In a certain room at Hasbro Studios, two very different ponies faced each other. One was the paragon of all the progress that had been made since the first incarnation of pony. She was a kind, caring, smart individual who loved her friends dearly, and would do anything for them. A true representative of the magic of Friendship.
The other was Twilight Sparkle. She was pretty cool too.
Twilight frowned slightly at the pony before her. Honestly, though she was curious about this creature from a bygone era, Twilight wasn’t sure why this pegasus or her interchangeable friends were here in the first place. Supposedly they had been invited, some new spin off or another, but Twilight didn’t think it would work. If the fans had been angry enough at the Equestria Girls, then what chance then ponies from the hated previous generations stand? It was just a waste of time.
“So…you do know how this works right…er…” Twilight hadn’t really bothered to catch the ponies’ name.
“Wind Whistler. And while the aforementioned advertisements we are parodying were in fact before my time, I have done my homework.”
Twilight blinked. She hadn’t expected the G1 to have such a…not very irritating voice. She was under the impression all of them were nasally and annoying. Nor had she expected her to have such a firm grasp on vocabulary.
“Uh, alright.” Twilight attempted to brighten up. She had no idea what qualities Wind Whistler had to compare to her own, but the sooner they got through this the sooner she could get back to the party. So, Twilight forged on. She turned to where the cameras were, noting that Wind Whistler did the same.
“Hi, I’m a G4,”
“And I’m a G1” Wind Whistler finished.
“So, just out of curiosity, how do you like the new show?”
“It is exceedingly humorous, the musical presentations are admittedly on the whole superior to most, and while the visual style is simplistic, it seems to be acceptable.”
“Wait wait wait, what was that about the way it looks?”
Wind Whistler gave a little long suffering sigh. “I mean I find modern day flash animation to be a bit less appealing then hand drawn animation. Of course this is merely a personal style rather then a comment on superiority. It is fine if your preference is flash, and in fact your animation is better then most.”
Twilight huffed. “Hey! We look ten times better then you!”
Wind Whistler blinked at her. “My statement was not meant as an insult. I was merely stating my personal preference. And besides that, you must admit we look more like ponies then you.”
“What! How can you say that!”
“Because I am staring at you. The female Generation 4 head is drawn in a circular pattern, which is not found among real world equines. Your eyes are also drawn overly large, much like a character in Japanese anime.”
“A lot of people like the style!”
“I never said it was bad. I merely stated that you look only vaguely like ponies, aside from the males, whose appearance is much closer. Although we Generation 1s are not one hundred percent fully accurate with the equine form, your generation looks farther then ours.” Wind Whistler frowned. “I do not understand why you are so emotionally distressed over my personal tastes in animation. It seems a rather silly thing to become upset over.”
Twilight sputtered. “Well at least our series isn’t a overly long commercial.”
“Incorrect.”
“WHAT! Faust made us so we could appeal to everyone! Not just to sell toys!”
“Your series had done nothing that we did not do first. The very first special was an adventure. Yes, the intent was to sell toys, but it also had a villain and a story.”
“Your first movie had a song based entirely on selling a toy set!”
“And Equestria Girls was not meant to sell dolls? And the Canterlot Wedding was not meant to sell toys? And what about the Rainbow Power line? You had an entire season dedicated to those visually unappealing, flashy, glittery pains in my eyes, and you sit there and criticize myself and my companions simply for doing it first? We only had episodes where we introduced new sets, not an entire season filled with so many plotholes that loud portions of your fanbase have dedicated themselves to picking through each one.”
“You were a lot more ham handed!”
“…you call us ham handed, and yet in order to sell toys just as we did, you must sparkle rainbows?”
“Our show actually has morals!”
“So did ours.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve heard about that one episode were two colts are blackmailed to dress up as babies and they all spend the entire episode lying to each other and gossiping!”
“First off, I am from the incarnation known as My Little Pony and Friends. The incarnation you are thinking of is My Little Pony Tales. They are completely different settings. Though you did at least get the generation correct, and thank you for that. I will not attempt to defend Tales, as I believe that they would rather respond to your accusations themselves. However, your statement that my series had no morals is utterly false. I myself have represented the very concept your series is based on several times in the past.”
“But it’s so obviously done!”
“It was the eighties.”
“Is that an excuse!?”
Wind Whistler snorted. “What you are doing right now is accusing my series of being bad for following the conventions of the times it was made in. Tastes change with time. How about this, Twilight Sparkle. Ask me about excuses in ten years when you have to explain to the next generation the logic behind ‘twerking.’”
Twilight gaped then shook her head.
Wind Whistler turned and trotted off. “I think we are done here.”
Twilight sat down and blinked her large anime eyes.
“…what the hay just happened?”
There was a loud pop and a certain chucking avatar of Chaos sprang into existence, lounging in the air, a bowl of popcorn on his belly. He giggled at Twilight, who gave him a long suffering look.
“My my my. Our brave, brilliant, brainy Twilight Sparkle. Bested by Data the Pony. How…surprising.” Discord gloated as he popped a few kernels into his ear.
“Well…how was I supposed to know she’d respond that way…her arguments were actually…coherent. I was under the impression it would be a bunch of nasty squawking but…she was almost pleasant to talk to…I didn’t research this…”
“What was that? You, Twilight Sparkle, didn’t do any research!”
“Of course I did! I read about them! All my sources were agreed! The past Generations of ponies were all indistinguishable, incomprehensible, and annoying!” Twilight huffed as she trotted back in forth in front of Discord.”
“Oh dear dear, and did you even check your sources?”
“I did! I even watched one! The Glass Princess! It was HORRIBLE!”
“That doesn’t sound like the thorough princess I know.” Discord chuckled.
“Well…so I didn’t watch any of the others….”
“Try it. I know if I just watched, say, one of our bad episodes, or just read brony hater blogs, I’d have the wrong idea as well…” Discord chuckled.
Twilight glared at him, then sighed, her eyes lowering and her ears drooping. “Maybe you have a point. I was just so indignant that I didn’t stop to look into things thoroughly. Thanks Discord.”
“Throne now!” Discord suddenly burst out a stream of confetti from Hammerspace, a plastic cheap pizza joint hat adorning his mismatched horns. It was apparently from ‘Freddy’s’. Whatever that was. “-I- just gave you a friendship lesson! -I- deserve it!”
Twilight chuckled. “Maybe later, Discord.” She turned as Discord’s hat deflated. “Time to do some –serious research-
Five days, two seasons of G1, two specials, and a movie later….
“It’s a good thing they are giving us a week in between these, so we can prepare.” Wind Whistler looked up at Firefly, who was loops in the air above the Estate at Dream Valley. “Have you not done enough physical exertion? I would think your performance skills would have been optimized two days ago…”
Firefly landed with a huge, almost motherly smile at Wind Whistler. “True, but I want to be sure I’m totally fit. Me and Surprise are the only predictable choices on the ‘list’. I just know the kid will want to race! I want it to!”
“Surprise and I.” Wind Whistler corrected gently.
Firefly nodded. “I’m going to race Whizzer again. See you later. And relax. I know that uptight Princess pissed you off, but-“
Both ponies jumped a bit as the aforementioned Princess suddenly teleported into their realm. The two turned and looked, Firefly showing more of her surprise then Wind Whistler, who just frowned slightly.
“I thought I made it very clear that I wanted no further discourse-“
“I know! I know! And I’m sorry! I was really rude and it was uncalled for!” Twilight said, raising her head. Wind Whistler felt a small sense of dread at the G4’s wide, manic expression. The tangled mane, the little eye twitch, the waggling of her left ear….was this the famous ‘Crazy Twilight’? Wind Whistler felt something akin to dread as she gazed into huge purple eyes that seemed to have stared to long into the Abyss. Any other pony would have run, or at least gulped. Wind Whistler merely blinked.
“Well…I’m glad that we are in agreement. Apology accepted…now-“
“But I know how we can fix EVERYTHING!” Twilight ignored Wind Whistler completely, instead leaning into close to the much bulkier pony, eyes wide and twitching. Wind Whistler found herself sitting on her bottom, the other pony leaning over her, like a wolf dominating its prey.
“Fix?”
“It’s not that your series was bad. Or, no it was bad. I suffered through FIVE DAYS OF IT! But I realized something! It’s not your fault! It never was YOUR fault! IT WAS THE 80s!”
“Ummm” For once Wind Whistler was at a loss for words. “Yes, it was the-“
“Cartoons in the 80s sucked! THE 80s SUCKED! It was the Dark Ages of Cartoons!”
“…aren’t you being a bit…over the top?” Firefly interjected, but Twilight continued.
“I mean, let’s look at what you poor ponies had to deal with! Ten minutes? TEN MINTUES! Who can tell a good story in ten minutes!”
“…have you heard of the Loony Tunes?” Firefly asked.
“That’s different!”
“How?”
“Let me explain!” Twilight was practically bouncing. “You had several stories, like…25 or so of them, all chopped up into bits and spread over several weeks. Like the old Doctor Who, only with ponies! And have you ever seen the first seasons of that show!?”
“…you are referring to the one from the 60s?” Wind Whistler asked.
“Yes, that! It was so slow! And it was boring! Just like you!” Twilight said. Firefly and Wind Whistler quickly scanned the forest for any rabid Classic Who fans on the loose. “And then you had to share space with all this other…weird stuff! Moondreamers! Potato head kids! What was up with that!?”
“…I am fairly certain that was the ‘and friends’ portion of ‘My Little Pony and Friends.” Wind Whistler said.
“Yes, but they just bogged you down! So, for the new show I have a list of ideas and I want to go over them with you before I show Faust and the Princess and who is that other guy who keeps hanging around?”
“…you mean our old writer-“
“Yeah yeah, him.” Twilight wasn’t even bothering with pauses now. “First we need to focus on a small group of about six, maybe seven of you. The ones with most variety of personality,”
“Like you.” Wind Whistler was now giving Twilight a deadpan look as her voice grew even more emotionless. Firefly wasn’t sure if Wind Whistler was going to explode finally, or just mentally shut down.
“Then we need to focus on characters and development and all that good stuff!“
“I…cannot argue with that, but-” Wind Whistler tried, but failed to be noticed.
“And I guess since WE are handling all the slice of life stuff VERY NICELY on our own, you can have all those crazy adventures and world building and stuff like that.”
“How…generous…” Wind Whistler stared.
“Okay! It’s all just rough drafts right now, but I’ll give you all of this,” papers exploded into existence from Twilight’s magic. “And my ponies can get back to your ponies and we can have lunch or something and this is all so EXCITING!” Twilight clapped her hooves, now squeeing in glee. “I can’t wait to see the better versions!” She teleported away, most likely back to Equestria, leaving a rain of paper in her wake.
“…what…the hell…just happened?” Wind Whistler stared at the floating papers, unaware she had just broken the cardinal rule of family cartoons, and swore.
Firefly gazed at her with concern, and touched her shoulder. The most brilliant of the Dream Valley ponies fell over with a thump.
“…well…that was…different…” Firefly blinked. “Ummm…I’ll go…find Megan. Or something. Maybe she can throw water on your face…” Firefly turned to find someone with opposable thumbs.
Meanwhile, in the Void Between Worlds.
“Well…now Princess Twilight has gone mad again…and I am fairly sure poor Wind Whistler is traumatized…” A smoky form sighed and looked at a fully formed white alicorn with a red mane and a quill and paper cutie mark. “I think it went well.”
“Hmmm, I still don’t understand why you don’t have a form here…” The Alicorn Faust said.
“…you know the bronies didn’t give me an alicorn form. Although they were nice enough to give one to Mrs. Zacherle...”
“I’m sure once they realize that you had just as much influence on the early days, they’ll come around.” Faust smiled. “They get a little excited sometimes, but they’re good people, Mr. Bloom.”
The shadow sighed. “We’ll see.”