//------------------------------//
// Chapter 3:	Break Me off a Piece of That Kitty-cat 
// Story: Rainbow Dash Eats a Kitten 
// by Shark8 
//------------------------------//

Chapter 3:	Break Me off a Piece of That Kitty-cat
(Or Crispity Crunchity Peanut Buttery Kittens!)

“I’ll see your calico, and raise you one tabby.” Spike said, plopping the two kittens into the basket as he tapped the cards laying on the table in front of him.
Grwof! (Too rich for my blood.) Edward Bear said tossing his hand on the table.
Snap! (I call.) Craig said tossing his two kittens into the basket.
Manny and Timmy had dropped out, quickly losing to the stronger players.
“I’ll see all that, and raise…” Rainbow Dash pushed two kittens into the pile then plucked a delicious looking Devon Rex from the basket and tossed him in, too. “This guy!”
“I’ll see that.” Spike smiled, handing over a tasty morsel as he stared intently into Rainbow Dash’s eyes.
Snap! (I’m out!) Craig said, tossing his cards on the table.
Rainbow Dash looked at the delectable kittens in the pot, then at her cards, then at the kittens again as she felt her mouth start to water: so many delicious kittens!
“C’mon luv, you ain’t got what it takes…” Spike interrupted her thoughts.
“I call.” She said, tossing her penultimate kitten into the pot.
Spike sucked a breath through his teeth, before running a hand through his blond hair, then flipping over one card: 5♣. Then another two: 6♣ and 7♣… then the 8♣… he hesitated for drama’s sake before raveling the 9♦.
“That’s pretty good…” Rainbow Dash nodded, admitting the strength of his hand, before revealing hers: 4♣, 4♥, 4♦, J♥, 4♠.
She took a moment to flash Spike her second-cockiest and most pleased-with-herself smile before gathering all the kittens from the pot into her basket.
Oh, yeah! She was going to feast like a queen tonight! Rainbow Dash shuddered in pleasure at the anticipation before a thought interrupted her: should she save a few? If she gorged herself, then she would have to find more kittens that much sooner.
Spike groaned, then mumbled something about her being almost as insufferable as “that bloody git, Angel.”
“Angel?” Rainbow Dash asked, instantly thinking of Fluttershy’s rabbit.
“Ya, a self-important Nancy-boy ponce that’s obsessed with hair-gel… a sod of a parasite that, for some reason, can do no wrong!” Spike ended his tirade with a disgusted retching sound.
“Well, I’ll admit Angel bunny’s a dick…” Rainbow Dash began, only to be interrupted by Spike’s laughter.
“No, not the stupid rabbit… a vampire. Though I suppose all that applies to him too, if you change ‘hair-gel’ to ‘hare-gel’…” Spike said, rubbing his chin in thought.
To Spike’s immense pleasure, there was a moment of silence around the table before everyone else groaned. After all, psychological pain was the perfect way to introduce their new friend to his stories about Angel and the rest of Sunnydale.


*     *     *


Rainbow Dash grinned as she flew down to Ponyville, she was finished with the day’s weather patrol and, inside her saddlebags, she had a furry little kitten to eat. Edward, spike and the rest of the carnivores were excellent company, and she wasn’t saying that just because she got nearly a dozen of the niblets: enough to last her nearly two weeks, if she was careful!
Rainbow dash’s reverie was interrupted by three familiar voices arguing:
“And I’m telling you it’s not!” Sweetie Belle yelled.
“Oh, come on Sweetie Belle! ‘Cāntīng mă māo’ is obviously the place that we ought to look for the missing pets.” Apple Bloom said, pointing at the sign of Ponyville’s only Chinese restaurant, “Ain’t that right Scootaloo?”
“No, it’s not the Chinese place, it’s—” Scootaloo broke off as movement caught her eye, “— Rainbow Dash!”
Rainbow Dash was quickly surrounded by the Cutie Mark Crusaders, each bombarding her with questions, all ranging from: “Have you got any leads on the missing pets for us?” to “Do you like my hat?” to “What is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?” — in other words, standard fare from the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
The questions didn’t give Rainbow Dash any room to breathe and she found herself starting to hyperventilate until the fateful moment when her snack decided to let a ‘mew’ issue forth from her saddlebag.
“What was that?” Sweetie Belle asked as the entire town, it seemed, dropped into instant silence.
Thinking quickly Rainbow Dash said, “Mew should go check that place out, I’ve always thought it was suspicious…”
“Meow.” the kitten cried, pleading for the outside world to free it from the dark and warm confines of the saddle bags.
“What was that?” Apple Bloom asked turning around to face Rainbow Dash.
“I said ‘meow’, as in you’d better look into it right ‘meow.’” Rainbow Dash replied as nonchalantly as she could.
“Oh, ok.” Apple Bloom said, turning back around to face the Chinese restaurant and the rest of the Crusaders… “Hey, guys, you don’t think Rainbow Dash is actin’ kinda funny, do ya?”
“No, Rainbow Dash is just busy being awesome like always!” Scootaloo chimed in, leading the other Crusaders to the restaurant — they were going to solve the mystery of the disappearing kittens.
Rainbow Dash let out a sigh of relief, she’d almost been found out yet again. Fortunately for her the Crusaders were not the sort to single-mindedly obsess over a single issue… ‘oh, crap.’
Her attention was then turned to the distant but still audible cry of:


“CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS ABDUCTION AND INTERROGATION SQUAD! YAY!”