//------------------------------//
// Australianisms 
// Story: Poniocracy Side Stories 
// by sunnypack 
//------------------------------//


Chapter 1: The ‘Roo


David spotted the ‘roo coming from a mile away. On an impulse, he called out to the fellow native.

“G’day mate!”

The ‘roo paused, then looked at David with a quizzical expression.

Huh, David thought. There goes that theory.

The ‘roo bounded over as David turned away.

“Oi!” David heard, the thumping prompting him to turn back. His eyes widened in surprise. 

“Aw, G’day,” it, erm, he continued. “Nice to see another Aussie bloke around here.”

David gaped for a moment and then shrugged. Stranger things have happened around here. He paused, considering his next words. Now there’s something you have to know about Australians. You don’t want to sound like the least Australian bloke in a group of ‘Strayans. What would normally start off as a perfectly understandable conversation would turn out to be something like this:

“Bloody oath,” David replied, leaning back on a tree.

“Too right, mate. Too right.”

“So what brings you out here from the land of oz?”

“My ‘mote’s gone for a walkabout. Thought it’d be a piece of piss to find it, but the bloody thing’s being a right wanker. Started looking for it on the couch and then it pissed off to somewhere here.”

“Aw, strewth, mate. I’ll be stuffed if I could find my remote on the south side of the hemisphere. I’ve lost heaps of that garbage down that dunny.” David shrugged. “No worries, mate. You’ll find your remote.”

The ‘roo nodded reflectively and bounded a couple of steps.

“Yeah she’ll be right. I’ll see ya around, mate. I’ll give it another burl before I give it away. Can’t ask the locals, they’re given to the odd furphy for an Aussie around. What’s a ‘roo to do, eh mate? If you ask me, they’ve got a few kangaroos loose in the top paddock... if you catch my drift?”

“Fair dinkum. You have a bloody good arvo, mate.”

“You too, mate.”

The ‘roo bounded off into the further reaches of the Canterlot gardens. David chuckled and wandered off to find some beer. He was suddenly feeling thirsty.

Twilight sat in the bushes witnessing the whole exchange.

“What were they talking about? How could they understand each other? What the heck just happened?!” she cried.