//------------------------------// // Pony No More // Story: Magical Mystery Oops // by BookeCypher //------------------------------// She had done it. It had taken weeks of work with several long nights and tracking down what was now a good third of her Crystal Palace's new book collection, but she had done it. Chaos magic—The mere concept of it had been a complete outside context problem until Discord showed up. Every attempt to study, quantify, or just plain understand it had resulted in little more than frustration and mane pulling. The academy in Canterlot had gotten nowhere since Discord's return. But the Academy didn't have Discord for a neighbor. It had taken several promises to Fluttershy to 'play nice' and far too much dealing with Discord being, well, Discord, but she obtained the data she thought she needed. The spellwork laid out on the scroll before her was the final culmination of her research. If it worked, she would be the first pony to experience a new field of magic in centuries—or maybe months, depending on how one counted either the Hearth's Warming and her own ascension to Alicorndom. "Uh, Twi?" The purple alicorn turned around as Spike spoke up from where he was watching her. The baby dragon leaned to one side for a moment, looking around Twilight and at the collection of potions and items that surrounded the scroll on the small table. "Are you sure this is a good idea?" "Of course I'm sure it’s a good idea, Spike," Twilight replied as she turned back to her spell preparations. "New knowledge is never something to be scared of. Besides, Discord seemed so sure I couldn't make this work. It'll be nice to wipe that smug grin off his face." He had been slightly more vindictive of her than usual, but Discord had gone above and beyond the call of duty in regards to causing chaos during her studies. She didn't care how pretty he said they were; Poison Joke does not make a good bouquet. "Besides, what's the worst that could happen?" Spike brought a claw to his forehead with a faint 'smack'. "You just had to say that, didn't you? Maybe you'll rip a hole in space or something." "That seems highly unlikely," Twilight replied as she started her final preparations. An aura of purple magic then wrapped around a nearby paper and scroll, a quill working its way down the checklist as she made sure everything was in order. Everything had to be just right for her test to work properly. Spike shuffled nervously behind her. "Still, maybe I should go get the girls, just in case?" "Spike," Twilight whipped around again, leaning over to give the baby dragon a reassuring nuzzle. "I'll be fine. This is just another experiment. How many of those have I done before?" "Three thousand two hundred and seventeen," Spike answered almost automatically. Twilight grinned. "And how many of them ripped a hole in space?" Spike sighed. "None. Still, doesn't that just mean you're overdue?" Twilight returned to her spell, checking off the last item on her list before tucking it away. "That's a statistical fallacy, Spike. Now, stand back. I'm going to try the spell." Her horn flared to life, glowing dimly at first before it started growing brighter. Sparks began to dance around her. They jumped and arced around her hooves in a wide circle before congregating in two narrow bands to either side of her. Instead of dissipating, however, the crackling only grew more fervent until the sparks seemed to blend into a pair of small dancing ribbons of light. Twilight kept pouring on the magic though, channeling it into the spell despite a sudden upshot in the drain it seemed to be placing on her. She was close. She could feel it. The two narrow ribbons started to grow, upward at first before they slowly began to encircle her. Her mane began to float around her as the spell lifted her from her hooves and suspended her in the air. "Twilight," Spike said nervously, but the purple alicorn had tuned out everything around her as she focused on the spell. The ribbons of iridescent light wrapped around her, and soon, they completely concealed her from the world, leaving a glowing cocoon of light hanging midair in the middle of the Palace's main lab. Inside the cocoon, Twilight's purple and pink mane danced around her as if she was in a typhoon, but otherwise, she felt nothing. That was until she felt the first jolt course through her. "Ow!" Twilight jumped at the shock. It was relatively minor, little more than the static discharge one gets from a door handle, but it had been unexpected. What was more disconcerting was when she realized that she was no longer casting the spell, and the spell was still churning along. "Spi—" she started to shout, but another bolt of electricity cut her off. It was quickly followed by another and then another. A detached part of her, not busy panicking over the fact she was trapped in a runaway spell, noted that the strikes didn't hurt per se. Instead, each spot they hit began to tingle in a most singularly unusual way. Even as the bolts continued, the spell pressed on with whatever it had planned as more ribbons snaked their way around her, gently coaxing her wings out until they were fully unfurled, even as others gently wrapped around her legs, her torso, and even her tail. Outside the magical cyclone, Spike was watching in a mixture of horror and awe as the spell unfolded. The originally pony-sized cocoon began to stretch out until it was more than twice its original size, flaring out around the middle even as it tapered near the end as it spun. And the spin seemed to keep getting faster as well, whirling around at what were soon dizzying speeds as a faint whistle filled the space before. Suddenly, the entire construct exploded in a cacophony of sound and light. Ponies walking past the tree-shaped crystal structure paused and looked up as light bright enough to be visible even at midday poured from every window, accompanied by a high-pitched whistle that peaked at an ear-piercing volume before slowly fading out. A few ponies just looked at each other and shrugged before going about their business. Such things happened when one lived in the same town as the Element of Magic. Back inside, Spike coughed as he waved a claw in a futile attempt to disperse some of the smoke and dust that now filled the room. "Twilight?" he called out. "Are you alright?" A faint groan answered back, and he quickly turned toward the sound. The shape that began to emerge from the smoke was not the one he had been expecting. Instead of the expected equine form, the silhouette was a long and serpentine shape. A tuft of purple and pink hair languidly flicked out of the smoke, along with the scaly pink tail it was attached to. The tail ended at a purple, furred body, which twitched along with the feline-like hind legs, a shade darker than the body, that seemed to be trying to get reoriented with the ground. The whole body twisted in a way that no pony's could, leaving a pair of purple feathered wings—a shade lighter than the rest of its body—draping across the ground. A pair of avian arms in the same shade as the hind legs were cradling the head, clawed hands running through the light purple fur of the chest and neck, passing through the purple and pink-striped mane and around the elongated equine-esque ears before pausing as it seemed to notice the base of one of the two long darkish purple horns extending back from its head. "Ugh," the strange purple creature groaned in Twilight's voice. "Are you alright?" "Am I alright?" Spike replied. "What happened to you?" The figure slowly cracked open one eye to look at Spike. A purple iris with a pink center, save for the black slit of the pupil focused on him after a moment. "Woah... dizzy. What are you talking about?" Spike gulped. "Is that... still you, Twilight?" "Of course its me! Why would -" Twilight went to stomp a forehoof down when she finally noticed her clawed appendage. "...what?" "Twilight..." Spike gulped. "Why do you look like Discord?" Twilight just laid there on the ground, staring at her claw. "Spike, I think you should go get the girls now." She barely noticed the sound of the laboratory door swinging open and slamming shut again as the young dragon bolted off while she continued to stare at her new limb in a mix of awe and horror. "Well, that didn't go as planned." A flurry of papers went dancing across the room as her tail twitched. "Okay, Sparkle - deep breaths. Stay calm. Panicking isn't going to help you…" A beat. Another beat. "...Nope." Twilight reared back, tail swishing around her feline feet as she proceeded to panic. "Waaaaaaaah!?! What is going on?! This wasn't supposed to happen! Why!!?" She reached for her magic, hoping to do something to reverse her draconequified status, but she couldn't feel it. Instead of the usual steady thrum of magic, all she felt was a tumultuous muddle of strange energies that skittered and squirmed away as she tried to hold onto it. "I... I can't use magic." Twilight's panic ebbed for a moment before redoubling. "What if I'm stuck like this? What will my mother think? What will Shining think?" She gasped. "What will Celestia think?! What am I-" Knock, Knock. Twilight was jolted out of her self-study and internal ranting by a knock on the laboratory door far higher up than Spike was capable of. Twilight turned to the door, but found her limbs no longer responded as she was accustomed to - and promptly landed right on her face. "Oh, Twilight~" Discord's voice sing-songed from the other side of the door. "How goeth your little experiments?" Oh sweet Celestia, and she thought her day couldn't get any worse. "It's... it's fine! Go away Discord!" She would have smacked herself if she could have managed the limb coordination at the moment. That was the last thing she needed to tell Discord. "Not based on that crashing, it's not." Discord replied through the door as the handle jiggled. "As a good friend, I should come in and make sure you're alright..." "No!" Twilight shouted. "I'm... not decent!" Which was technically true, from a certain point of view. "You ponies rarely wear clothes." Discord pointed out. "I'm coming in, Sparkle." "No!" Twilight cried, but it was too late - the door was already swinging open. "Really, what's with all the ruc..." Discord trailed off as he saw Twilight. The two just stared at each other for a moment, Discord's eyes wide as his fur seemed to fluff out. "W-Well?" Twilight demanded as she shakily got onto her hind legs, using a nearby bookcase as support. "What ever you have to say, just-" Discord held up a single claw to silence, his fur flattening back out as he stalked around Twilight in a slow circle. Twilight found herself obeying, Discord's uncharacteristically serious demeanor unnerving her. After a few minutes of the silent treatment, she couldn't take it any more. "Discord-" "Shhh!" Discord silenced her with a wave of a claw. "Don't speak. Not yet." He tilted his head a little. "Let me look at you." Twilight felt herself begin to blush. "What are you doing...?" "Just..." Discord replied, "taking this all in..." He treaded closer to her, and Twilight found herself leaning back and into her bookcase. Even with her newly elongated body, he was still a good head or so taller than her with both of them on their hind limbs. Some part of her brain noted that for later consideration. "I have to say," Discord continued as he studied her horns. "This is a surprise - after three millennia, I wasn't expecting to see a draconequus again." "You mean another draconequus." Twilight corrected, latching on to the one normal thing she had come across this morning - even if that was a grammatical debate with Discord. "Since you are a draconequus..." "In the same way Celestia is a pony." Discord replied with a shrug, still absorbed in examining Twilight. "I am the Lord of Chaos, after all - There are perks. Like my fashionable asymmetry." "Discord, this isn't a joke!" Twilight hissed back. "Now turn me back!" Discord circled back around to look Twilight in the eyes as he quirked an eyebrow. "You make it sound like I did this to you." "Who else would have done this to me!?" Twilight asked, gesturing at herself with one claw. Discord shrugged. "You seem fairly deft at getting yourself into trouble. You were trying to control chaos magic, no?" Twilight nodded. "What does that have to do with anything?" "Well, if you want to be able to use chaos magic," Discord summoned himself a little cotton candy cloud as if to demonstrate. "Can't think of a better way than to turn yourself into the only things that could." Before Twilight could ask him to elaborate further, the Laboratory door creaked open as a familiar pink-maned yellow pegasus slowly stepped into the room. "I'm sorry to intrude, Twilight, but Discord said that he was going to visit you all of a sudden and-" Fluttershy froze as she saw Discord and Twilight. "Oh my. I'm sorry - I didn't mean to, uh, interrupt you..." Twilight was about to ask what she was talking about when it clicked. Discord was standing over her. She was pinned up against her bookcase and, by her own admission, quite flustered. Discord was far closer than was in any way proper, was grinning down at her, and had a rose between his teeth. 'When did he...?' Twilight started to think, but decided against it as she put one clawed hand against his chest. "Back off." Discord, surprisingly, acquiesced and put a few steps between them, but neither the grin or the rose vanished. Fluttershy by this point had averted her eyes and was slowly back toward the door. "You didn't tell me you were visiting another draconequus, Discord. I thought you were visiting Twilight." She paused before adding "Actually, I didn't know that there were other draconequi..." "It's me, Fluttershy." Twilight said with a sigh. "It's Twilight." Fluttershy looked at the purple curiously. "Twilight? Why are you a draconequus?" "That is an excellent question, my dear Fluttershy." Discord curled his way over to the timid pegasus and coiled around her. "I think she is just trying to put the moves on me." He waggled his eyebrows. "Seems Celestia has some competition." "It was an accident!" Twilight nearly shouted in a combination of embarrassment and anger. "I was trying to control chaos magic!" "Oh, I see..." Fluttershy replied timidly before adding. "...how did that turn you into a draconequus?" "I have no idea!" Twilight slumped down against the bookcase. "I do!" Discord said as he puffed himself up proudly. "Behold, I know something that the great Twilight Sparkle does not!" "Care to share?" Twilight growled. Discord mimed considering it for a moment. "Nah. Better wait until the others show up." Twilight swore she could feel herself starting to combust out of anger, but before she could spontaneously ignite, a familiar unicorn trotted into the room. "Twilight," Rarity started as she walked in, "Spike told me something dreadful had happened and that - OHMYWORD!" Twilight brought one clawed hand to her face as she vaguely waved the other one in Rarity's direction. "Don't ask. I'm just going to wait until the others show up. It'll be quicker." The last three of her friends to arrive all had their own reactions that would have been quite interesting to Twilight if she was in any other state. Pinkie's was a 'Gasp' - not an actual gasp, mind you, but her saying 'Gasp' before she started bombarding Discord with questions. Applejack was naturally much more subdued than the pink party pony, the orange mare simply taking in Twilight's state before taking a seat next to a still semi-stunned Rarity with nothing more than a 'huh'. Rainbow Dash, naturally, entered via the window. "Waah!" Spike rolled off the blue pegasus's back as Rainbow came to a rapid halt, skidding across the Laboratory's stone floor before coming to a stop at Twilight's feet. "Dash, you do realize we have doors and stuff, right?" He rose to his feet, rubbing at where his head had smacked into the ground as he took in the other occupants of the room. "No wonder we couldn't find Fluttershy - she was already here." "Figures as much." Rainbow replied as she readjusted her wings. "Now, what were you - woah!" Rainbow hopped back into the air, hovering around Twilight. "You weren't kidding Spike! She's totally a dragonequine." "Draconequus." Twilight idly corrected. "Close though. I expected you to be earlier, Rainbow." "Had to help Spike find the other's." She replied with a shrug. "I would have been here sooner if we had known Fluttershy was already here." "So," Applejack cut in. She was finding Twilight's listless behavior somewhat unsettling. "Now that we're all here, mind telling us what happened?" "I can tell you what happened." All eyes - Twilight's included - turned to Discord. The draconequus had seated himself in a wingback chair that hadn't been there a moment before, blowing bubbles from a pipe as he relaxed in a crimson smoking jacket. "She ate an energy field larger than her head." "Say what now?" Applejack arched an eyebrow. Discord rolled his eyes. "She tried to control chaos magic." He waggled his pipe at Twilight. "I assume you tried to combine chaos magic with your usual stuff?" Twilight could only nod. Discord sighed as he returned his pipe to his mouth. "Chaos magic doesn't play well with unicorn magic - not a big surprise really. If you go trying to control it, its going to give you exactly what you want in the most straight-forward way possible." He gave his pipe another puff. "It turns you into a draconequus." "How does that make any sense!?" Rainbow Dash yelled after a moment of everypony just staring at him. Discord just arched an eyebrow at the blue pegasus. "Well, when she mastered your magic it turned her into an Alicorn. I imagine this is similar - I'm not big on the whole 'theoretical' thing. I much prefer practical applications." "So, let me see if I have this right." Twilight said as she stared at the draconequus. "Chaos magic turned me into a draconequus because I wanted to control it?" "More or less." Discord replied. "I imagine if it were any other pony they would have just blown up or... something." "Blow up!?" Twilight squeaked. "You never said anything about blowing up when I was interviewing you!" "I didn't think you would actually be crazy enough to try this." Discord replied, dismissing the chair and his accessories as her hopped to his feet, a collection of disembodied gloves joining him as he applauded. "Bravo, Miss Sparkle - a delightful bit of chaos." "Okay," Twilight rubbed at the bridge of her nose before starting as she poked herself in the eye with a claw. "Ow. Just... turn me back already." "Can't." Discord said with a shrug. Twilight glared at the lord of chaos. "Can't, or won't?" "Can't." Discord replied. "My magic would just bounce off your magic - something of a defensive measure, I would imagine. Again, not my field." "So what am I supposed to do!?" Twilight snapped. "I can't even walk right now!" "Well," Discord replied drolly. "If you turned yourself into a draconequus, I imagine you can turn yourself back." "How?" Twilight asked. "I can't even control my magic now!" Discord shrugged. "I'd suggest you get some practice then. Although..." Twilight glared at him. "What now?" "Oh, its nothing." He waved a claw dismissively. "Just thinking that, if you wanted, I might be able to teach you a thing or two." Twilight considered it for all of two seconds. "I'll manage." She turned to the rest of her friends. "After all, my friends can help me out." "Fine then." Discord replied as he turned for the door in a dramatic huff. "I'll just show myself out." He glanced back at Twilight from the door for a moment. "One parting piece of advice - nudge it, don't force it.” Four hours, a great deal of frustration and one very nice spot of tea later, courtesy of Fluttershy, the others had left and Twilight was left with just Spike to assist her. She didn't blame her friends for leaving - she had told most of them to leave after a couple of hours anyway. The first two hours had been the rather boring task of relearning basic motor control. Spike had turned out to be an excellent source of advice regarding bipedal locomotion, but she eventually settled into a more familiar quadrupedal gait. That just left the other task at hoof. Or claw. Whatever. "Twilight, you've been glaring at that apple for twenty minutes." Spike groaned as he slumped at the table they were sitting at. Across from him, the purple draconequus was staring very intently at an apple sitting on the table that was in the process of doing exactly nothing. "Gah!" Twilight rocked back in the chair as she gave up on her latest attempt at spellcasting. "This is ridiculous! A levitation spell should be easy - Discord levitates himself all the time." she leaned her chair back onto all four legs as she plucked one of her notebooks from the table and started flipping through it with one claw. She had to admit, with her magic currently non-functional, prehensile digits were extremely useful. "At this rate I'm never going to be able to transform myself back." "Well, at least you're symmetrical." Spike replied as he hopped to his feet with only a slight wobble. "I'm gonna go make us some food. You want anything in particular?" "No." Twilight replied without looking up from her notes. "Anything is fine. Thank you, Spike." If the young dragon said anything else on his way out, Twilight didn't hear it as she scoured her notes for anything useful. She slumped onto the desk as her search came up with naught. One of her horns tapped against the table as she turned to look at the apple sitting to one side. Discords parting words pushed their way to the forefront of her mind, as much as she wished otherwise. She gave a snort as she glared at the apple. 'Well, it's not like anything else has worked.' She reached out with her magic again. Like before, it seemed like a strange maelstrom but now she had a much more specific way of describing it - it was like a sea of dancing yarn in the middle of a hurricane. Thousands of strings of every size danced around the edge of her awareness and seemed to come from everywhere and everything. Twilight exhaled slowly as she focused on the single thin string that seemed to emanate from the apple. Normal magic was a matter of channeling your magic and your will at what you wanted to effect or otherwise just forcing the magic into the right shape. You could do it gently, sharply, efficiently or with sheer overwhelming power but it all boiled down to a simple imposition of will - the tricky part was knowing just what you were building after you got your way. Every attempt of that thus far had been met with her efforts sliding off and dissipating like smoke in a breeze. The harder she pushed, the faster she lost control. This time, she took an altogether different approach. She let her magic coil out, a thin fiber of will that stretched out until it started to entwine around the apple's string. as the two ethereal lines met, Twilight could almost feel the way the small piece of fruit was entangled with the world around it. Its small amount of inertia resisting the even smaller eddies of air that pushed against it, the friction against the surface of the table, pull of gravity pinning it down - a thousand little filaments that tied the apple to the world around it. And one line that tied it to her. The purple draconequus sent the gentlest force of will she could manage down the connection, with just the simplest of ideas - a simple change of vector. The apple's line thrummed softly in time with her own string as the force of gravity gently flipped for the fruit. Twilight cracked her eyes back open just in time to see the apple gently float up from the table. Spike walked back in a moment later to the surreal sight of a purple draconequus happily bouncing around the table, an apple bobbing along in the air next to her in time to her exclamations of 'Yes! Yes! Yes!' "Oh, hey." Spike raised an eyebrow at his guardian's antics as he deposited a tray of sandwiches on the table. "You got it to float." "Yes!" Twilight bounded over to the dragon, pulling him off his feet as she crushed him in a hug. "I did it! That stupid old goat was right but I don't even care! I can still do magic!" "Gah-Can't... breath." Spike sputtered. "T-Twilight..." "Oh!" Twilight released her vice-grip on Spike and dropped him back onto his feet. "Got a little excited." She plucked the apple out of the air before taking a bite of it. "But isn't this great?" "So," Spike asked as he caught his breath. "Now what?" Twilight's smile diminished as she took another bite of her apple. "As much as it pains me to admit this, Discord was right. This magic is nothing like what ponies are used to, and there's only one being who does know anything about it..." "Oh come on. He's not that bad, is he?" Spike asked as he hopped back into his seat. "I thought you were starting to get along with him after the Tirek thing." Twilight gave a little huff as she settled back into her own chair. "That was before he thought it would be funny to give me a bunch of poison joke on Hearts and Hooves day." Twilight sighed. "But it doesn't look like I have much of a choice if I want to be equine again any time soon. I need Discord's help." Spike glanced around the room as he finished his first sandwich. "Huh." He said as he swallowed the last piece. "I was sort of expecting him to pop up at that." "He probably wants me to have to walk through town like this." Twilight belatedly realized. "That's why he gave me the freebie and left - he knew I would have to go to him for help!" "So, wait..." Spike said between bites of his second sandwich. "Wouldn't that mean Discord was planning to help you from the beginning?" Twilight blinked as she processed this. "It...actually does..." She shook her head and got to her feet. "It doesn't matter! Let's go, Spike." The dragon grabbed another sandwich before following after the pony-turned-draconequus. The walk through town, especially given that it was now mid-afternoon, went exactly as Twilight was more-or-less expecting. That is, there were a great many ponies who stopped at whatever they were doing and stared as a Discord look-alike trotted down the street with a baby dragon a few steps behind. Twilight couldn't really blame them, really - nopony had, by Discord's own admission, seen a female draconequus in three millennia. And their only real experience with the species was Discord - a familiar trio near a flower shop fainted outright, no doubt as the ramifications of two "Discords" existing hit home. "Shouldn't you, uh," Spike said nervously as he looked at the entire town looking at them. "maybe tell the town what's going on? They seemed a little freaked out." Twilight paused and turned to her draconic protégée to inform him that such an announcement would require locating the mayor, when the problem solved itself before it had a chance to become such. The sound of a nervous throat clearing brought Twilight's and Spike's attention back to in front of them, where Mayor Mare was standing somewhat nervously as she fiddled with her neckerchief. The silver-haired mare coughed again, adjusting her glasses before finally speaking. "Miss Draconequus? Good evening. As the duly-designated representative of the town of Ponyville, I order you to cease any and all supernatural activity and return forthwith to your place of origin, or to the next convenient parallel dimension." Twilight and Spike just stared at her for a moment. Somewhere in the distance, a stallion shouted. "That 'oughta do it. Thanks very much, Mayor." Twilight resisted the urge to facehoof, if only because it would require borrowing the Mayor's hooves. "Madam Mayor, it's me - Twilight Sparkle." The mayor blinked. "Princess Sparkle?" "Yes." Twilight replied. "and don't call me Princess. I've had a slight accident with an experiment and, well..." She gestured to herself. "I would appreciate it if you could inform the rest of the town before everypony assumes something... apocalyptic has transpired." "O-of course, Pri-" The mayor cut herself off. "Of course, Miss Sparkle. If I might ask - what are you going to be doing?" Twilight sighed as she started down the road again past the Mayor. "Asking for help." She felt Discord before Fluttershy's cottage came into view - a low thrum that shot from her toes all the way to the tips of her ears, like some massive giant was strumming a proportionally sized cello deep beneath her transfigured feet. She found Discord lounging in what looked like one of Rarity's fainting couches as he lazily played some sort of bizarre variant of knucklebones; he'd tap on the small rubber ball before him, sending the metal jacks bouncing into the air where he'd try to pluck them mid-arc. A familiar looking cloud floated nearby, a pink fluff that was slowly raining chocolate into a waiting cup. Twilight couldn't help but stare at the scene before her. Now that she knew what she was looking for, Discord's casual disregard for causality was jaw-dropping. She had been overjoyed to manage a counter-gravitational force on a single apple. She could feel the strings of influence he was plucking, a pulse of unidirectional force sending the dozen or so jacks upward with every tap of the ball. A dozen miniature reactionless drives just to play a game. "Oh, hello Twilight." Discord grinned as he saw her. "Here to join me on this lovely day?" He snapped a claw, and a glass of tea appeared before her before a pair of ice cubes dropped in. "Tea?" Twilight watched as the tea started to steam, and she had no doubt that it was due to the ice cubes attracting the cold out of the drink. She turned her gaze from the thermodynamic impossibility and to the cosmic puppeteer lounging in front of her with his chocolate milk of glass. "Actually, I came here to ask for help." Discord grinned. "I thought so."