//------------------------------//
// Chapter 2 
// Story: Hard Pressed to Impress 
// by Calm Wind 
//------------------------------//

MLP: FIM
Hard Pressed to Impress
By: Calm Wind
Chapter 2:





Rarity learned some interesting things about Fancy Pants as they continued to a less populated area of town. She had been wondering about his business since he mentioned it while defeating Pinkie Pie. His money was inherited from a simple contracting company, but he had skillfully expanded it into the land ownership and sponsorship funding business. He knew quite possibly every single way to turn a profit and by the sound of it had been successful in each at least once in his life. His generosity was even more interesting. He could easily buy a whole country with the amount of money he makes, but he only keeps a share for payments and pleasure, using the rest to better communities or help charities. As the element of generosity it certainly boosted his image even higher in Rarity’s eyes. 

However, even in the long walk Rarity failed to come up with ways to gain his favor. She had to impress him and boost her own image before asking such a high demand question like unconditional sponsorship for a Canterlot fashion show. But how? How does one impress a pony who is seemingly flawless?

Fancy had expressed interest in visiting a friend of his father’s, but on the path he caught glimpse of Fluttershy’s cottage in the distance. As soon as Rarity mentioned it belonged to her friend, Fancy insisted they drop in.

A lot of movement could be heard from inside accompanied by a soft fretting voice as they approached the door.

“Oh I should probably mention,” Rarity stopped them for a moment, “it wasn’t so bad in Canterlot because she was with the rest of us, but on her own Fluttershy is quite timid. Her introduction might be, well, extremely reserved.” 

“Not to worry dear Rarity, taking offense to another’s natural personality is the epitome of classless. Unless of course they are violent or unruly.”

“Well I assure you Fluttershy is far from those.” She added with a giggle before knocking on the door. The rustling inside subsided and the door opened slowly. Fluttershy peeked out, much like spike, she reacted to Rarity first.

“Oh, hello Rarity, what can I do for EEP!!!!” As soon as she spotted Fancy she zipped behind the door and carefully peeked out. Rarity sighed and glanced at Fancy. He chuckled.

“My you weren’t jesting were you?” He tried to move to see her, but the more he moved, the more she shrank behind the door. “Now, now Fluttershy, we’ve met before. The Canterlot garden party on your friend’s birthday.” He coerced. Fluttershy blinked and got a good look at him, slightly moving from the door. 

“Oh my, I’m sorry, I didn’t recognize you. OH MY GOODNESS!!!!” She suddenly shrieked and darted back into her cottage. Rarity and Fancy blinked and looked at each other. Rarity pushed the door aside and trotted in.

“Fluttershy, is everything okay?” She watched the frantic pegasus dart to and fro in her home. 

“I was making Angel Bunny his dinner when you came, I was already falling behind and completely forgot. He already didn’t want the first two things I made, he’s getting very upset.” She had Rarity at “Angel Bunny”.

“Darling this has got to stop, you are the caretaker not him.” She sighed at Fluttershy’s continued ability to be controlled even by her own pet.

“Oh but, I don’t want to upset him,” she fretted while opening every cupboard in her kitchen. Fancy walked up beside Rarity.

“May I ask what the first two dishes were?” He asked calmly. Alarms went off in Rarity’s head. She had this strange feeling that Fancy Pants was about to blow her mind again. If she felt any smaller in his presence she might disappear.

“Oh, they are sitting over there.” Fluttershy pointed to two bowls of salad on the counter. Both had a regular assortment of greens. One had whole carrots in it. The other had sliced carrots and baby tomatoes. Fancy examined them both and quickly turned back to her. 

“Ah, the solution is simpler than you’d think,” he smiled. Catching Fluttershy’s full attention, “judging by the freshness of your ingredients here, I would assume you grow them yourself, yes?” Fluttershy nodded, “do you grow strawberries?” she nodded again. “splendid! If you don’t mind, bring me two and I’ll show you what to do.” 

Rarity grabbed the sides of her hat and yanked them down over her ears. He knew everything. He could do anything. She was a piece of scrap paper in front of him. What was she going to do? She had to think. Think, think, think, think. 

Fluttershy returned with two strawberries fresh from her patch and set them down by the bowls.

“Now you have the right idea if we’re talking about wild rabbits. I’m assuming I’m right if I say Angel is the only one who doesn’t eat your standard recipe?”

“Yes, the rest of the bunnies eat it right up.” Fluttershy clarified. 

“The way you speak of him, Angel seems like a domesticated rabbit, yes?” again, Fluttershy nodded, “Then there’s your problem. You see, in the wild, rabbits treat simple recipes like a bowl of lettuce as a rare treat. Once you take a rabbit out of the wild and they become part of a home, they look for more. They are smarter than you’d think.” Fancy used his magic to grab a small kitchen knife and sliced the strawberries both directions into little bits. “They begin looking for a little bit of kick, a little something special. Strawberries have a sweet bite and a sharp aftertaste. I’ve never seen a pet rabbit that rejects them.” He sprinkled the strawberry bits into the full carrot salad and floated the bowl over to Fluttershy. “Try now.” She looked at the berry enhanced salad for a moment before fluttering into the living room.

“Oh Angel! Mommy tried again, I hope you like this one!” She set it down on the rug on the floor. Angel’s head peaked around the couch, the usual disapproving glare stuck to his face. He bounced over, stared at the salad with his front legs crossed, and looked away with a huff. “Oh don’t be that way, mommy added a little something special!” Angel glanced back and noticed the little berry pieces. Showing interest, he sniffed the salad and registered the change. He carefully grabbed a small portion and ate it. Fluttershy forced a smile, watching him closely. Angel’s eyes suddenly lit up with delight and he proceeded to wolf down the salad ravenously.

“Eureka!” Fancy Pants cheered, “works like a charm.”

“Oh my goodness! I didn’t even have to convince him! Thank you thank you!” Fluttershy giddily bounced near Fancy Pants. Fancy nodded proudly.

“Glad I could be of assistance.” He acknowledged Fluttershy, she was about to thank him further, but she flinched.

“Oh no! I spent so much time on Angel’s food I’m late with the rest of feeding time!” She zipped back into the kitchen. Fancy chuckled and produced a cloth to wipe off his monocle,

“Well she seems to be quite busy, let us move on.” He said while checking his pocket watch.

“Yeah… sure.” Rarity responded in a very deflated tone that did not elude Fancy, he adjusted his monocle and glanced at her. 

“Is everything okay my dear?” He asked completely out of courtesy. Rarity twitched and realized she let that tone slip.

“Wahaha! Of course, nothing is wrong at all, yes let’s go!” She hurried out the door, sweating and panicking. Fancy shrugged and followed behind.





By now Rarity was sure she was sunk. Impressing a pony like Fancy Pants was like trying to grow pears on a grapevine. There was just no way to do it. Every place they stopped Fancy seemed to bound another mile ahead of her, making her chances seem further and further away.

“Ah! I say, is that THE Sweet Apple Acres?” Rarity almost tripped and fell over herself as Fancy came to an abrupt stop. He was looking into the distance where the Apple family’s property extended for miles. 

“Y-yes, it is.” She answered.

“How convenient! I was hoping to find it eventually, but now I can get a good look at it before we meet with Richard.” He turned down the path, Rarity following quickly. She could see it now, something would be wrong here, and he would easily fix it. But she was not without curiosity. He spoke of the Apple family orchard as if they were world renown, and he mentioned somepony named Richard? What kind of name is Richard?

As they went up the path and made their way into the trees, Rarity explained her connection with the Apple family through Applejack. Fancy Pants was intrigued and admitted he clearly missed that fact when back in Canterlot. He explained how the Apple family is everywhere, easily the largest family in Equestria. Not a single apple sold does not have their name on the crates they arrive in. But Sweet Apple Acres specifically was known for a special reason. Before Rarity could learn it, they ran into Rainbow Dash, who was impressively pulling two full apple carts.

“Huh? Oh hey Rarity, and wait I remember you… Fancy…Shirt?” Rainbow guessed as she stopped for a breather.

“Pants.” He corrected politely with a bow.

“Yeah I knew it was something like that.” Rainbow chuckled as Rarity pulled her hat over her face.

“And if I remember you’re Rainbow Dash,” he leaned towards Rarity with a smirk, “the Wonderbolt’s ‘trainer’ eh?” He whispered. Rarity held her breath in embarrassment, but Fancy smiled humorously.

“Well, I can’t stop too long, I have to get these into town.” She readied to trot off.

“May I ask briefly, I’ve never seen a pegasus do farm work before. Is there a particular reason?” He stopped her. Dash’s eyes lit up at the chance to describe her training.

“Well, my dream is to be a Wonderbolt, and there’s this cool move one of them does that requires a bit of power. I want to impress them by mimicking some of their signature techniques, so I’m doing some heavy lifting to build up the guns.” She strutted her legs back and forth twice. Fancy shifted his monocle and looked her over.

“I thought you looked a little more built, your training definitely shows results.” His words admittedly made Dash a little giddy.

“Well when Soarin showed it to me, I knew it wasn’t going to—” Fancy flinched and his monocle fell off.

“Pardon, but you personally KNOW Soarin the Power Flier?” He was visibly intrigued. Rarity looked back and forth between them and could not BELIEVE what was happening. 

“Oh, I actually am on a first name basis with the lead squad.” She said proudly, somewhat hesitating to continue, “And… Soarin and I are sorta, well, a thing.” She said with a blush.

“Well now!” Fancy replaced his Monocle, “Quite a connection you have set for yourself, I must say I’m quite impressed! Now don’t let me keep you, we must be on our way as well.” He nodded to Dash.

“Sure, oh if you’re looking for Applejack, she and Mac are up by the house. Something about a stubborn tree near the north orchard entrance. Later!” She waved a wing as she pulled the carts down the path.

As Rarity and Fancy continued to the house, Rarity felt like stabbing herself with her own horn. Here she was, trying her absolute hardest to come up with a way to impress Fancy Pants, and then Rainbow Dash comes along and does it by accident. Now frustration was setting in amongst the anxiety.

The two approached the house and spotted all three Apple siblings crowded around one tree at the north field gate. As they moved in Rarity caught eye of a new building past the barn. It wasn’t completely finished. Rarity remembered Applejack mentioning some sort of new addition to the farm, but she couldn’t quite remember what.

“No Mac, if ya buck it any harder you’ll knock the whole tree down.” Applejack’s voice brought her attention back to focus. Applebloom walked a circle around the tree as Mac just stared straight up and Applejack glared at the trunk.

“Maybe it’s just stuck, it’s just one apple.” Applebloom complained. Applejack stomped her hoof.

“Just one apple? We’ve never left a single apple behind, and we ain’t gonna start now. Right Mac?” She nudged her brother.

“Eeyup.” He answered, grinding his teeth against his string of wheat and glaring up at the single apple left in the tree. He turned around and planted his feet, but Applejack grabbed his yoke and yanked his neck down.

“I SAID NO, MAC.” She yelled into his ear, making him squint.

“Pardon us Applejack, what seems to be the problem?” Rarity asked as she and Fancy approached. Applejack looked up and quickly turned her glare into a welcoming smile. She pulled down further on Mac’s yoke as she composed herself and made him fall over onto his side.

“Well howdy Rarity, and Fancy Pants right?” She received a nod. “I wish I could offer more hospitality, but we’ve got a strange case goin’ here.” She pointed at the tree. “Never thought I’d say this, but there’s an apple in this tree that just ain’t cooperatin’” They followed her hoof towards the lone apple left in the tree. Its stem held firmly to the branch and showed no signs of wear and tear.

“How strange.” Rarity acted interested. Applejack trotted over and bucked the tree again. The apple still remained.

“No matter how much we buck it, it just stays put. Even Mac can’t knock it out.”

“Mind if I take a look?” Fancy offered. All the Apple siblings glanced at him briefly. Rarity sighed quietly. Just as she thought, he was about to solve yet another problem.

“I don’t see why not, ya don’t mind Mac?” Applejack asked.

“Nnnope.” Mac moved aside and allowed Fancy to move under the tree. He looked the trunk up and down, and followed a line from the base up to the branches that held the apple. 

“Hm?” He looked closely at the apple. “Ah ha! No wonder it isn’t working.” He walked beside Mac and pointed up. “Look closely chap, you’ve got a rare anomaly in this tree!”

“An animal what-now?” Applejack removed her hat and scratched her head. Mac followed Fancy’s hoof and saw that two branches crossed and rubbed against each other. He looked at Fancy and nodded. Fancy approached the tree again. 

“This Apple tree grew two branches that are intertwined. That is very uncommon. Because of this, any force applied to the trunk is practically nullified because the configuration absorbs most of the shock. In other words, even if you kick the tree as hard as you can, the ends of those branches will barely shake at all.” He explained as Applejack just stared blankly.

“That’s an awful fancy way t’say it ain’t coming down.” She sighed, frustrated.

“Oh, but there is a way,” he looked the trunk up and down, taking mental measurements, “in a case like this, it’s not how hard you kick it, but where you kick it and how much controlled force you do so with.” His eyes landed on a spot slightly higher than where the apple family was kicking it, and slightly to the right. He etched an X in the wood with his hoof. He glanced up at Mac. “Right, now you look like you have an analytical eye my large friend, the force must be no more or less than this right on this point, and any apples on those branches will come right down.” Fancy planted his feet, eyed the target over his shoulder and gave the X a solid, controlled kick. The branch above shook and the apple ripped right off. Applebloom dove and caught the apple before it hit the ground.

“Well I’ll be—” Applejack looked in wonder. Fancy smiled and turned to Mac. 

“Did you get a good look?” He asked. Mac shifted the string of wheat in his mouth and nodded.

“Eeyup.” He lumbered up to the tree, and gave it a kick, perfectly copying the force and position.

“Perfect!” Fancy patted him on the side, “I took you for quick learner.” Fancy turned back towards Rarity. That was it. She was done. She forgot all about trying to impress him. It’s not like her manner the whole day had helped. She had been completely tense, not very talkative, and most of all a spec on the grand scale of things compared to him.

“Say, I ain’t complainin’ or nuthin’, but why didn’t ya just, ya know, magic it out?” Applejack asked, curious. Fancy shook his head.

“Oh dear me, I wouldn’t think of it. I have a lot of respect for the earth ponies and their agricultural prowess. Their work is based around historical pride and tradition. I wouldn’t dare tarnish that with magic.” He got blank stares from all the apple siblings. They looked between each other then back to Fancy. Applejack tipped her hat with a grin.

“Well shoot! I guess not all fancy city folk are so bad after all eh Mac?”

“Nnnope!” They both acknowledged him. 





They said their farewells, and continued up the nearby road. Rarity was visibly upset. Fancy had noticed more than once by now. He suddenly stopped in front of her and looked her in the eye. 

“Rarity, whatever is the matter?” His observance was inconspicuous, she had no idea she was dropping so many clues. She fumbled for an answer.

“Well, I,” her eyes darted back and forth, “it’s nothing!” She smiled overly brightly. He didn’t buy it at all and just raised an eyebrow. Who was she kidding, after all she witnessed today did she really think she’d fool him? She sighed and let her head droop. She didn’t want to tell the whole truth, but he needed an answer. “I’m honestly still a tad flustered. You made preparations to visit, but my work got in the way of knowing. When such a high end, respected pony just shows up at your door, it’s bound to be nerve racking.” He seemed to accept this, his smile returning.

“I apologize for things turning out that way, if I had known you were working so hard I wouldn’t have bothered you.”

“OH! It isn’t a bother at all. Really!” Rarity quickly made that clear. Fancy turned with a smirk.

“Well I’m sure things will be all better very soon.” He continued, leaving Rarity still for a moment wondering exactly what he meant by that. She didn’t dwell long, trotting after him down the path to their next destination.


---To Be Continued---