//------------------------------// // Chapter Six: A Broken Yellow // Story: An Unnamed Love Story // by OCisbestpony //------------------------------// Chapter 6: Part 2 I had heard the news the day after it had happened. Fluttershy and Applejack had gotten into a really bad car crash. Apparently, what had happened was that a large blue van had run a stop sign and crashed full speed into Applejack's truck, which was also going at full speed (on account that her road didn't have a stop sign). I didn't get many details, but Rob had told me that he was getting a group together to visit them in the hospital. He had asked if I had wanted to come, and I had said yes. After I hung up, I was in a daze of sorts. The whole day after the event in the pound parking lot, I had to re-convince myself that I was not a source of misery. It had been a long and terrible night. I'll admit, I almost cried. So when the news came that both of them were in the hospital, I was unsure how to feel. First, I was concerned, but a dark part of me was happy. I tried to squash such thoughts, but the memory of the day's events the day before still burned like an unhealed wound. During the day my mind had warped itself into thinking that not only was Applejack mad at me (and I thought that she was right to be so) but that Fluttershy was also mad at me. This lead to guilt. If I had not arranged for us to meet up, and if I had not been late, then this would not have happened. This was, as I had concluded, my fault. As quickly as I could, I had discarded that thought. I knew that it was not my fault, for I looked at fault as being intentional. This was an accident. Still, it was hard for me to see it that way. Though I wanted to I couldn't shake those feelings. I felt like an awful person. Did the harsh feelings towards Applejack that had passed through my mind cause this? Had I wished for this? My heart wanted to believe this, even though I knew that such things were beyond my control. I was torn. However, I felt that I needed to go. I wanted, needed to see them. I don't know how I would react when I saw them, and I was afraid of them, but with a drive that was beyond my character, I chose to go. That was my thoughts at the end of church. I was unsure what I was going to do about work. I was scheduled to work that evening, which conflicted with the visit. Needless to say, I found myself very distracted. How was I going to get to the hospital? Why on earth did I make the commitment to go when I knew full well that I had to work? There was no way I would have done that! But yet, I had. What drove me to go?!? I let out a roar of frustration. I was mad at myself, not only for putting work and this at the same time, but also because I couldn't figure out what on earth was happening to me. Something was affecting me, something that was making me do and say things I never would have said! But yet, something was driving me on, driving me to … I didn't know. Or perhaps, I did, but I was afraid to find out. As I hung up my phone, I turned on my car and sat there for a moment listening to the music I was listing to on my way home from yesterday. I knew what I had to do, but I was afraid to do it. Still, it had to be done. I pulled up my phone again, took a breath to gather my courage, and dialed the number. “Welcome to your Norris Foods at Grant Hill!” chirped the automated voice. I blinked and pulled my phone away from my face. I didn't dial the right number! I was suppose to be calling Rob and telling him that I couldn't make it, not calling my job! My thumb went to the end call button, but froze. I was doing something wrong. Very, very wrong. Ending this call now was the wrong thing. I was confused. “...press 0 for more options.” finished the happy voice. I pushed 3, the number for customer service. My hand started shaking. I was scared. “Hello, this is customer service. How may I help you?” asked a semi-familiar voice on the other end. “Yes, is Tanner in?” I asked, my words almost catching. I was in good graces with my bosses, but telling them that I couldn't come to work only 2 hours prior to my shift starting was not going to end well. “Let me check, who's calling?” she asked. “This is Taylor from produce.” I answered. “Alright, just one moment Taylor.” she responded as the line went to the hold line. It was going on about some sale they were having at the moment, not that I could understand the garbled automated voice anyway. My heart started pounding in my chest. I already knew that I wouldn't be able to get off. I already knew that it wouldn't work. “This is Tanner.” came the familiar voice of the store co-manager (well, one of two anyway). My mind froze for a moment. This was it. I didn't even know what I was going to say. “Hey Tanner, it's Taylor from produce.” “Oh hey Taylor. What's up?” he responded in a friendly yet professional way. “Hey,” my voice caught, “I just found out that a friend of mine was in a car crash and is in the hospital. I'm sorry, but I need to go see them, is there someone I could call to cover me? If you gave me a number or two I could call them.” I said. My face felt so hot. “Oh, I'm really sorry to hear that. Hey, listen, I can't really give you anyone's number myself, but if you call Edwin, who's still here I think, he could.” he said with a note of surprise, and perhaps some sympathy. “Thanks, I'll do that, and again, I'm really sorry about this, this just came up.” I apologized. “Hey, I understand, this sort of thing happens. Just call me back and let me know who is coming in.” “Thanks Tanner, I will.” I said as I hung up. Did I really just do that? Did I really just say that? Did I lie to him? Was that an honest thing to say? I didn't know. I hardly knew her-those two, yet, I had called them friends. Hand still trembling, I redialed the number for work... *** The drive had been longer than needed really. The weather had been mildly bad. Still, the mix of rain clouds and setting sun was something I had never seen before. I could see the golden sun between lines of clouds, with even more gold filling the spaces between them. The whole sky was a strange blend of tranquility with the threat of rain. It was surreal, yet so alluring. In truth, it was the most beautiful sky I had ever seen. It was hard not to simply stop and stare at it for a while. But, that said, it made the drive feel like a terrible journey. As I pulled into the parking lot of the school, I noted who was there. I was surprised. I had not expected such a large crowd. I counted about 10 or 15 people there. As I got out of my car, I noticed the general buzz of activity. The ones who were friends with Applejack and Fluttershy were tired (save the pink one) and had worried looks on their faces (this however, included the pink one). They were talking to everyone, and everyone was in a heavy mood. Understandable, considering that two people were in the hospital. I made my way to Rob to let him know I was here, but he caught sight of me first. After waving to call me over he called out for everyone to gather. Slowly everyone formed a circle, allowing Rob to speak to everyone with ease. “Hey everyone. Thanks for comin' out” he said with a heavy gravely voice. “So, what we're gonna do, is we're gonna head over to the hospital and we're all gonna park in the same area. Then we're gonna head up to their room, which was,” he looked over at Twilight, “A-234?” Twilight silently nodded her head. “Then I was thinkin' we could sing them a couple of songs and maybe give them a blessing if they wanted it.” Rob was a rather pious man, so it would make sense that would be his game plan. He looked around to see if there were any objections, but the slow nodding of heads told him that there were none. “Alright, so I can take 3 in my car, who can take any more?” I found myself in the same car as Rob and two other guys who I vaguely knew. The ride there I was quiet for the most part. Rob and the other two guys struck up a lively chat, but for the most part, I wasn't part of it. I wanted to be left alone and they complied with my wish, outside of the typical pleasantries that is. *** I cried. I stood there, looking at her. I couldn't understand it. Why? Why was I crying? Not only that, my face was soaked. It felt like someone I really cared about had died. Yet, I knew that was not the case. I hardly knew either of them, and as far as I had figured, both of them were mad at me. Yet, I was only moments away from wracking sobs. Why? Why was I falling to pieces over someone I didn't even know? Try as I might, I couldn't hold myself together. She was still sleeping, as was Applejack. Both of them had been unconscious since the accident. We all were shocked at what we saw, and their friends were beside themselves, save Rainbow, who had walked out. They were wrapped in bandages and I counted 7 limbs in casts. Both of Fluttershy's legs were in casts, as well as her left arm. Applejack's left arm and left leg were both in casts. Both of their necks were also in casts. We were not allowed to get too close, let alone touch them. Still, everyone began gathering into that room as best as they all could, save me. I stood there in the door, still unable to move. However, as the group filed into the room, I began to lose sight of Fluttershy. Almost without thinking, I pushed my way over to her bedside, but still staying far enough away. Had I been aware, I would have noticed the looks people had given me as I had shoved my way to her, but my mind was elsewhere. I felt helpless. I wanted to help so bad. I wanted to take those bandages off and hold her until they healed. I wanted her to be better. I wanted it to end. I wanted it all to to end; her pain, her misery, I wanted to do something, anything, to help. But I knew I could do nothing. Suddenly, memories flashed though my mind. I remembered the time when that girl I had a crush on sliced open her finger. I remembered her bloody finger and her scream of pain. I had remembered how I had felt, how I had wanted to help, but I had no idea how to. I remembered how I wanted to comfort her, but I was unable to for fear of her finding out about my crush. I remembered how it felt to stand on the side and watch someone I loved suffer, and have no power to help her. I ran out of the room. I couldn't take it anymore. Yet, when I had, I turned about, wanting to run back in. Yet, I was unable to. There I stood, unable to leave, yet unable to enter. What was I going to do? I knew that I should be by her side, yet, I didn't know why. D-Did I have … feelings for her? Oh no. No, that couldn't be it! I didn't want that to be it! I took a small half-step towards the room. By this time, I noticed Rob had walked out, looking at me the whole time. It was clear he wanted to talk... *** Rob nodded his head quietly as I talked. I had spent the better part of an hour just talking to him about the whole thing, just sitting in his car in the parking lot. I had no idea how to feel, nor did I have any idea how to talk about it. Yet, he simply sat there, patiently taking it all in. I think he may have been just as confused as I was about it by the time I had finished my ramblings. I had told him that I was devastated because of what had happened. I told him that I was fearing that I was having feelings for her, and that I was in someway to blame for all of this. I mentioned I knew that was stupid, but I still felt like a guilty criminal. But most of all, I was unsure as to why I was crying so hard. After several moments of silence, Rob spoke up, “Well dang man. I totally know how you feel.” he said with a small smile. “Really?” I asked with mild disbelief and swollen eyes. “Yeah, I really do.” He said with confidence. “How?” I said with a bit more desperation than I had wanted to let on. “Well...” he began. He told me a story from his life. He told me of a girl who he totally could have had it going with. She was smart, hot, and a musician. She had interest in him, but at first, he just kinda blew her off. He couldn't remember why off the top of his head, but that didn't change the fact he kinda blew her off at first. Well, as time went on, he started to like her, but she was starting to move on. When he finally realized that he did like her, it was too late. She had picked some other dude. He had paused for a moment to fight back tears, then continued his story. Apparently, not long after he told her that he liked her, and she told him that she had liked him, once, she had moved south of the border and Rob never heard from her again. “You see,” he said at the end, “if I had realized that I had liked her from the beginning, then we could of hooked up. But because I didn't, I lost her forever.” That did not help. The idea of suddenly losing Fluttershy was … No, I couldn't think of it. I couldn't handle the thought. “Is she going to make it?” I choked out. I had no idea where those words came from, they just happened. “Well, they said that they’re both in really bad shape, but at least they're stable. I guess all we can do at this point is hope and pray.” He said with hope in his voice. Hope. Hope was something I would need. Her dreams were troubled. On the one hand, she dreamt that she was in a car, and that car hit the face of another. And yet, on the other hand, she dreamt that she would fly, and while doing so would care for the animals of the farm. They would glide alongside of her, and even speak to her. It made caring for them very easy, especially since she would find herself in an office from time to time. There was one problem however, her office would become the car. Needless to say, it made no sense. She could hear the noises of the wreck. She could hear the screams of Applejack suddenly ending, and feeling that moment of terror. She had lost sight of her, and when she couldn't hear her anymore, she feared the worse. Her heart stopped, skipped, and then raced. She tossed, turned, and even let out a scream. The Nurse in the room had turned to look at her. Letting out a sigh, she readjusted the straps and replaced the sheets. The poor girl did that from time to time. Her other friend was not much better. She was quieter, but was more restless. She reviewed the doctor's notes. The poor girls had several broken bones, as well as other injuries. Hence the need to strap them down. They had to keep them from moving too much. There was however, very little they could do about whatever it was they would dream about. Still, everything seemed fine here, so she grabbed her things and left the room. *** It would take almost 2 weeks for them to wake up. Applejack was the first to awaken. She was understandably disoriented. Her head hurt. She tried to look around, but found herself unable to move. She slowly came to realize that she was immobile. And when her vision came into focus, she realized that she was in a room of some kind. It was dark, and the room was lit by dim blue lights. One of her eyes were covered. She tried to move her mouth, and even though it hurt, she found that she could do so. Taking a moment to brace for the coming pain, she opened her mouth to speak. “Hello?” she managed. It was quiet, but she managed to say it none-the-less. For what seemed like hours, she waited for a response. She was terrified that she was alone. She could hear heavy breathings, but she had no idea who they could belong to. “Hello?” she said once more, fighting through the pain to make it louder. Finally, she heard a soft, but familiar moan off to her right. She let out a breath. Fluttershy was near her, and that thought brought her comfort. “Fluttershy? That you? You okay sugarcube?” she asked. “I'm … ok...” came the very soft and painful response. “I … it hurts though...” That's when it hit Applejack. Everything came to her. The crash, yelling at Fluttershy, making her cry, being angry at her, yelling at that Taylor fellow … all of it hit her, hit her like a truck. She was devastated. She was a wreck. In someways, her mind had suddenly become worse than her actual truck. Guilt shot through her. It consumed her emotions, and permeated into her every thought. All of it was her fault. Everything. It was her fault, she had yelled at her, she had hurt her friend when she needed her. And worst of all, she had stabbed her in the back. And now, she was hurt, perhaps even injured, perhaps even handicapped because of her! She had ruined her life! What had she done?! “Fluttershy!” she choked, “I … I...” she tried to speak, but she couldn't. Her tears were soaking her face and her throat was closing as she was trying to speak. There was a pause for a moment. “I'm so sorry! I ...I ...I'm so sorry! It's all my fault! I … I don't know why I did that! I … I can't. I'm so sorry! I didn't see it comin' and I didn't mean ta' shout at ya, and I...” she tried to keep talking, but the pain had finally caught up with her. Not only the pain of talking, but the pain of her guilt. There was silence for several moments. Or rather, there was only the sounds of Applejack's weeping and the sounds of heavy breathing. “Oh Applejack...” Fluttershy said softly. It was hard to hear her, everything Fluttershy said was so quiet. It was clear that it was difficult for her to speak as well. “It's not your fault...” “Yes it is! If I hadn't yelled at ya! If I hadn't been so mad … you wouldn't be like this!” She had tried to fight it, the despair, but like her tears which had burst like a dam, this too came unbidden and without ceasing. She felt that she deserved her fate. She had no right to be happy. She had no right to heal. In fact, she had no right to be alive... And she believed it. “Oh Applejack...” Fluttershy whispered. “You're not a terrible person.” “Yes I am...” whimpered Applejack. “Applejack...I forgive you.” There was another long pause. This time, Applejack was not alone in her crying. “Applejack, please, don't feel bad. I know you feel like all of this is your fault, but it's not! You're not a mean person, and I know you meant well, but we all make mistakes sometimes.” “Fluttershy, this an't some small thing! You may never walk again 'cause of me!” “I know. But at least we're alive right? And it means more to me that you're okay than anything else in the world.” Fluttershy was unsure how sincere that seemed, but she hoped that Applejack would realize that she meant it. To her, the fact that they were both alive was joyous in itself. She was overjoyed to hear the voice of her friend, for the thought that perhaps that she alone had survived had passed through her mind. “You … you really mean that?” she said softly, for the pain of talking was still there. “Of course I mean that. You five are the most important people in the world to me. Ever since I left home, you guys have been my family. And you know that I'm a shy person, but the fact that you all love me and care about me anyway … even when I'm being shy … well, that means...” she trailed off. She was unable to finish her sentence, for her heart caught in her throat. She had never done this sort of thing before. She had never needed to be a pillar of strength for someone else. Rather, it was always Applejack who had been so strong. But, in this dark room, she was finding the strength to be that pillar. Her love and concern for her friend was slowly overriding the pain. Her care for her welfare was strong enough to burn away the clouds of doubt. Applejack needed her, and she was going to be there! Applejack had always been there for her, and now it was her turn! She smiled. “...it means the world to me! You guys have always been there for me, even when I've been feeling down, or sad, or hurt. You guys were always there to help me up and lift me out of the dumps! I'm not a strong person, but when I'm around you guys, I feel so much stronger! Applejack,” Fluttershy tried to turn her head to look at her, but was unable to do so, but was able to catch a glimpse of her figure out of the corner of her eye. “It's ok. Everything is going to be ok...” she said. It was about this time when she finally became aware that there were others in the room. She could hear the muffled tears of several others. She was suddenly afraid. Had someone overheard her say all of that? Would they think she was being insincere? Would they think she was being too much? Her first reaction was to shrink and hide, but a very sharp pain stopped her involuntary reaction. Then, after a moment, she recognized one of those tears. “Pinkie?” she ventured. The cry was muffled no more as she burst full-on into open weeping. This caused the others who hid in the darkness to begin crying in earnest as well. She recognized the voices of Rartiy, Twilight, and Pinkie. She was surprised. She had no idea they were there. “Oh Fluttershy!” cried Twilight. “That was such a great thing to say! I knew you were kind, but I had no idea you were that kind!” “Fluttershy,” cried Rartiy, “that was so … touching!” she wailed. “I love you guys too!” shouted Pinkie. “I'm just glad you guys are alright...” said Rainbow with great difficulty. This surprised Fluttershy even more. She had not heard Rainbow crying. Then again, she had never seen her cry, even when she had broken her leg for the first time. There, in that moment, in that darkness, stood a moment in time. For a moment, Fluttershy forgot that she was injured. For a moment, she forgot that she was lying in a hospital bed. For a moment, everything was right. She was with her friends, no, her family, and that alone was enough. She knew, that whatever may come, she had them, and that they would have her. She knew, that whatever may come, they would never stop caring for her. Her tears, now of joy, stained her bandages. If they could, her friends would have given her a hug, but they could not. She knew that, and though she really wanted them to, she knew that it was ultimately a bad idea. “Girls, can ya forgive me for what I've done?” Applejack asked. “Can you forgive yourself?” asked Twilight. Applejack was silent for a moment. She knew what Twi was sayin'. She knew that they already had, and that they really only wanted for her to be happy. And she knew that she would need to forgive herself before she could really be happy. Twi was no idiot, that was for sure. “Applejack?” Fluttershy ventured. “Yeah?” Applejack tried to turn her head towards her. “I forgive you.” Fluttershy said softly as she drifted off to sleep. “Thank you...” responded Applejack as fatigue overtook her as well...