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// 22 - Idle Questions 
// Story: Clueless in Equestria 
// by David Silver 
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As David moved on to the next stand, he asked of his furry companions, "So, I tried to ask before but never got much of an answer. What's the deal with pony marriage? You obviously have more mares than stallions, do a lot of mares just not marry?"

Rough Draft looked uncomfortable, but Lyra was entirely willing to speak, "Sure, lots don't, but a lot of stallions take more than one mare." She reached for Bon Bon, drawing her close, "I have Bonnie here."

Bon Bon blushed softly, but didn't argue the notion as Lyra continued explaining, "But if I did find a stallion I wanted and chased him down, and he said yes, he'd have to take Bonnie too, or no deal." Lyra shrugged, "I'm not giving up Sweetie Drops for any stallion."

Bon Bon leaned in and softly kissed Lyra on the cheek, whispering something in her ear before moving away with a smile. Lyra looked satisfied as she asked, "That answer that?"

David shrugged softly, "Ponies must be a lot better about jealousy than humans." He looked to the next stand and saw it was full of pins. They were bright, shiny, and had pictures of all manner of bipedal curiosities on them, many entirely made up. "How... does a pony wear a pin half the time?"

The unicorn mare behind the stand smiled, "Easy! They have a little spell on them that lets them stick to fur." She grabbed a button of a goblin looking creature holding a birthday cake in her yellow magic. It was soon thrown against David's head, sticking to his beard easily. David reached up and gave it a soft poke before trying to move it. When he actively tried to move it, it came free like it wasn't stuck at all, then resumed sticking when he stopped trying to move it. Gently pulling it free, he hung it back where it came from.

"That's pretty cool," agreed David, to the pride of the mare.

"Did you want one?" asked Rough, pointing at the display.

"How much are they?" asked David. A glowing '2 bits' began to hover over the unicorn as her horn shone with the same yellow magic. "One couldn't hurt I guess." He picked one that looked like his new self, a satyr playing a pan pipe, and soon had it fixed to his shirt.

"Hey!" came a high pitched accusing tone. Turning, David saw a younger mare pointing at him with a hoof and flared wings, "They said you were a human. You're not a human!"

"Prove it," said David in an even tone.

Her wings began to fold back up as she pointed downwards, where his hooves were visible under his pants, "Humans don't have hooves. Everypony knows that."

David crossed his arms, "How many humans have you seen to confirm that?"

She shrunk a little, "Uh... one?"

David reached out a hand then, "So, nice to meet you. I'm David."

She approached cautiously, glancing at the other ponies gathered around David. Her hoof soon rested in David's hand and was lightly shaken, "So are you a human?"

"Born and raised," replied David, "Are you a pegasus?"

"Sure am!" she said, flapping her wings with pride, "Nice to meet you." She suddenly took off, easily getting over the crowd on her wings.

Rough chuckled softly, "You're gaining fans quickly."

David shrugged at this, "Hard not to. I can't imagine a pony at a pony convention would get them any slower." He turned in place and discovered his hooves were not exactly as his feet once were, and balance failed him. He began to fall gracelessly when Lyra's gold magic wrapped around him and nudged him back upright, "Thanks." She held out a hoof, which he met with a fist bump.

Bon Bon pointed at the schedule, "We could watch that movie about the grown mare that never got her cutie mark. I heard that's a real tear jerker."

David shook his head, "I saw that one already, and, you know, I kind of fall into that camp now."

Rough bumped into him from the side, almost threatening his balance again, "We'll find your talent for you, uh, can you get a cutie mark? I mean... you're only half a pony."

David lifted his shoulders, "The important half, right? I have a blank flank. I don't know."

Lyra stuck out her tongue, "You're cool with or without a cutie mark." Then she clopped her hooves, "I know how we can check!" She pulled the book she borrowed from the library from Bon Bon's saddlebags and quickly had it open, "There's a spell in here for markings and it says not to try to make a cutie mark with it. Here we go." She cleared her throat, "Do not attempt to mar the flank of a pony. The magic of the land will reject your sorceries and undo the magic quickly, for such is the inherent magic of ponies and their destiny. See? If I can put a mark on your flank, then bam, and if not, bang! Either way we know."

Rough gestured with a hoof around the room, "Not something to try in the middle of the vendor hall."

Agreeing, Lyra began to lead the group out of the busy room and cast her eager eyes around the bustling convention, "I'm missing most of the panels and I just don't care," she remarked in a chipper tone. "Best BipedCon ever!" She looked over her shoulder at the rest, then pointed a hoof upwards, "The pool. We can have fun in the water and try it out without being too obvious." She eagerly led the way to the stairs and trotted up to the next floor with her companions close behind.

As they approached the pool, David asked, "What about, you know, swimming clothes? These pants are not made for swimming at all."

Rough shook his head, "You'll get a kick out of this, I bet. Just keep going forward."

They entered the swimming area, the sound of happy ponies playing in the water, splashing and cavorting got louder. They stepped over the tiled surface as David noticed there was no mare or stallion side, just a singular entry way to the swimming area. Magic washed over them. It was a dull grey in color and in an instant it was gone, leaving all worn clothing changed into swimming variety. David wore swimming shorts and tight waterproof shirt while Bon Bon's saddlebags became quite waterproof and sealed, looking more like flotation devices now.

"See?" asked Rough, "These hotels don't spare expenses to keep their guests happy." He wasn't wearing clothes to start, and trotted on unchanged with Lyra as they headed to the edge of the water. Soon Rough was in the pool, doggy, or is that pony, paddling around. Bon Bon went in shortly after him. As they appeared, her saddle bags turned floaties made her going easy. Lyra waved into the pool with a hoof and David moved to the edge. Water slickened tiles were more than his new sense of balance could tolerate and it was only the supportive grip of Lyra's magic that got him into the water without incident.

She settled by the edge, "Stay there, and I'll try," she said, closing her eyes and taking a slow breath. David took a moment to watch the many colors of ponies playing in the water. Most were gabbing animatedly with one or more other ponies, though not all were engrossed in social activities. A few loners were comfortably perched on pool side chairs that looked more like sofas. They watched the others much like he was doing, or had their snouts buried in reading material.

A tingling sensation brought his attention quickly to his hips, where a gold glow could be faintly seen through the water. "Did it work?" asked Lyra as she leaned over the edge, "I can't see, get out of there."

David smirked and began pulling himself out, flopping onto the side. This was far enough to get a peek and lyra clapped her hooves, "Gone, it's gone!" she cried a bit loudly, drawing the curious gazes of other ponies. "Uh, your fear of water, totally gone!" Though she sounded to David like she was obviously lying, the other ponies seemed to accept this as fact, and began clapping their hooves in agreeable celebration. 

David slipped back into the water, "Why did they accept you having your hoof on my shorts as a cure for water phobia?"

Lyra shrugged, "Beats me. Congratulations." She leaned in, "You're a blank flank officially now."

David huffed a soft sigh, "Not sure how happy I should be about that. I don't need more ways to be a minority."

Lyra reached and put a hoof on David's wet hair, "There there, you still have us."

"About that," said David with a cocked brow, "Don't you have to get back to Ponyville?"

"How'd you know where I live?" asked Lyra, pulling her hoof back, "You really are a magic human."

David pointed a finger at her, which seemed to capture her attention solidly, "That doesn't answer the question. Rough and I are going to probably head back after the convention to his place, and it's nowhere near Ponyville, or much anywhere."

Lyra sank to her belly and pouted, "You could come to Ponyville..."

"I could," agreed David, "But forcing Rough to move is pretty rude, and I don't want to interfere with the Mane Six while the story's still going on. I could mess something up real bad."

"Main Six?" asked Lyra, "It's just like the stories. You're all full of riddles and strange warnings. I can't let you go."

Suddenly Bon Bon was there, appearing with the situational timing that all ponies seemed to be born to. She grabbed Lyra by the ear with her teeth, "You are letting him go, because he is his own pony."

Lyra squeaked, "Ow ow ow! I didn't mean I'd foalnap him! Lemme go Sweetie!"

Bon Bon flopped down beside Lyra, letting her ear go. "I'm going to make this as blunt as possible, since I'd think you two would dance around it forever without either side just coming out and asking." She thrust a hoof at David, "Do you like Lyra?"

"Uh, sure, she's cool," said David, wading at the pool's edge.

Rough appeared at his side, conjured by the unseen tugs of narrative requirement, "Like like?"

"Oh," said David. Lyra was looking at him with an expression of hope and fragility and he was put on the spot. Would he pull off what he read so many protagonists do in so many stories? Nah... "Yea, I'd be willing to give her a try, assuming she cuts out the life threatening magic without warning thing."

Lyra began to clop her hooves together giddily, but then stopped abruptly. She conjured a pointing finger over Bon Bon's head, pointing at her, "I meant it! Do you like her too?"

David shrugged softly, "Look, you're kind of my first. I said I'd give it a shot, which means all of it. But I have a counter question."

Lyra raised a brow, "Which is? And I am? How have you not had a mare before?"

A soft snort came from David then before he chuckled, "Long story, but female humans are women, not mares." He pointed at Rough, who recoiled in surprise. "You have to give him a chance too. I'm not leaving him high and dry without anything."

Bon Bon frowned, "That's really weird. Do you... you know, like him that way?"

"This whole situation is weird," countered David, "but no. Rough is my brother, not that."

Lyra leaned forward, big eyes dominating much of David's vision, "Brother enough to share your mares with? That's so romantic!"

Bon Bon rolled her eyes, "Romantic enough to only appear in the cheapest romance books, the kind with a stallion with their mane blowing in an unseen wind with mares fawning at his hooves."

"They have those here?" asked David, "God." He pulled himself out of the water and shook out a little, "So? What'll it be?"

Bon Bon pointed at Rough, "First, what do you think of this, Rough Draft. Your 'brother' is dragging you into something."

Rough was a deep red under his fur, but nodded quickly, "I mean, you're both... very pretty mares... If you want to try that?"

Bon Bon looked towards David, a smile across her snout, "We'll just have to be the voices of reason in this messed up herd."

David reached for her, softly petting her curly mane, "I can't think of a better pony for the job. We're agreed. We'll give it a chance. If it works out, great, if not, hopefully we can still be friends."

Lyra looked ready to say something when she got a mouth full of Bon Bon's hoof, "Before you say anything at all, my little harp, no 'fun times' until we decide if we are compatible." Lyra nodded with a bit of petulance, but it was agreed.