The sun rose above Ponyville, and nearly everypony began to wake up to start their day. One of these homes, right near Sweet Apple Acres, was a carrot farm with, as you can guess, a carrot shaped things on it. Inside, another pony laid in her sleep. The pony was an earth pony mare, who had a pale & light grayish olive coat with a Pinkie Pie-Sweetie Belle looking brilliant gamboge mane. She had a pleasant dream on how she and her coltfriend will, one day, get married, and the two will be able to have kids of their own. *CRASH!!!* She woke up, grunting to herself.
"Derpy..." She scowled. She got up from her bed and traveled downstairs, hoping to stop Derpy from raiding her refrigerator... again!!! She looked around a corner, only to not see a familiar yellow tail, but, nothing. She walked around more, but 'Eeped' at the sight on who was actually raiding her fridge: Deadpool! Deadpool had an armful of junk food, and, underneath his mask, he seemed to be eating some of her crunchy chocolate chip cookies. He turned and froze as the sight of the mare, being perfectly still as if he were a raccoon spotted by someone, slowly chewing, but awkwardly. The two stared at each other for a moment.
"...Don't tell Derpy." Deadpool simply spoke. At that moment, one of the tiles of the floor shook a bit, and Derpy came right up, nearly just inches away from the fridge! She stopped and turned both ways, seeing her friend and Deadpool standing there, awkwardly. She sunk back into her hole, leaving the tiles as if she was never there to begin with.
"So that's how she get in!" The mare exclaimed. She looked back up at Deadpool.
"...I'm sorry for that," Deadpool returned "Name's Deadpool: Merc with the Mouth and Killer of Tirek!"
"Name's Golden Harvest, but most ponies call me Carrot Top."
JUST LIKE THAT COMEDIAN!!!
Anything BUT that 'Comedian'.
"Why did you raid my fridge?" She asked
"Oh! Well... you could say I was... hungry." He responded, blushing under his mask
"Really? Well... put that stuff back in the fridge and I'll make you some breakfast, okay?"
"Can I join!?!?!?" Derpy asked, having her head pop out of the hole with the tiles balancing on her head.
"Uh... sure. Just don't raid my fridge!!!"
"Yes Ma'am!" Derpy flew and took her, still having the tiles balancing on her head, while Deadpool, very lazily, placed all the stuff he raided back into the fridge. He teleported next to Derpy, and the two sat together.
"So..." Deadpool spoke "Fought any of them Daleks?"
"Daleks?"
"Oh... you know... EXTERMINATE!!!"
"What!?!?!? No!"
"Oh don't lie to me! I heard why you and your husband spoke about right after I left: 'Get the T.A.R.D.I.S.'."
"YOU'RE LYING!!!"
"I'm not lying! You've got secrets! Tell me, did you both travel in time to meet me, perhaps go into MY world?"
"I- Uh... I... You have secrets!"
"I won't lie on that."
"Secrets?" Golden Harvest asked, turning down the stove and letting the eggs inside cook. She walked and sat in front of him "What are those secrets?"
"I don't think you'd like them." Derpy spoke
"AH-HA!!!" Deadpool yelled "You do know 'em!!!"
"What are they!?!?!?" Golden asked
"I'll tell you them!!!" Music began to play right behind them.
"...Where is that coming from?"
"Oh no!" Derpy spoke "Another song!!!" In a flash, two Cybermen appeared next to Deadpool, but seemed to follow his dancing.
"♫Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Mata ah-oo hima de!♫" The cybermen sang "♫Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, Himitsu wo shiri tai♫"
"♫You're wondering who I am!♫" Deadpool sang
"♫Secret, Secret, he's got a secret!♫"
"♫Machine or mannequin!?!?!?♫"
"♫Secret, Secret, he's got a secret!♫"
"♫With parts made in Japan, I am the modren man!!!♫" Deadpool started to do a simple shake with his arms, looking as if he were in a lost beach commercial, with the cybermen following and, though not really sure why, Derpy and Golden Harvest danced along with him, standing on their hind legs. "♫I've got a secret, I've been hiding, under my skin! My heart is human, my blood is boiling, my brain C.A.F!!! So if you see me, acting strangely, don't be surprised. I'm just a man who, needed someone, and somewhere to hide To keep me alive! Just keep me alive! Somewhere to hide, to keep me alive!!! I'm not a Psycho without emotions. I'm not what you see! I've come to help you with your problems, so we can be free! I'm not a hero, I'm not a saviour, forget what you know!!! I'm just a man whose circumstances went beyond his control. Beyond my control!!! we all need control!!! I need control!!! We all need control!!! ... I am the modren man!!!♫"
"♫Secret, Secret, he's got a secret!♫" The Cybermen, along with Deroy and Golden Harvest sang together.
"♫Who hides behind a mask!♫"
"♫Secret, Secret, he's got a secret!♫"
"♫So no one else can see-♫"
"♫Secret, Secret, he's got a secret!♫"
"♫My true identity!!!♫" The cybermen and ponies started to do the Robot Dance while Deadpool simply Broke dance.
"♫Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo! Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto, domo...domo!!!♫" They continued doing the 'Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto' alone for 11 seconds, and continued while Deadpool sang his part.
"♫Thank you very much, Mr. Roboto, For doing the jobs that nobody wants to, and thank you very much, Mr. Roboto, For helping me escape just when I needed to! Thank you-thank you, thank you!!! I want to thank you, please, thank you!!!" They all stopped. Both Derpy and Golden shook hero heads, regaining control on what just happened. They looked up to see Deadpool with his he'd hung low. "♫The problem's plain to see: too much technology! Machines to save our lives. Machines dehumanize. The time has come at last!!!♫"
"♫Secret, Secret, he's got a secret!♫" The Cybermen sang again! Deadpool tore off his mask, only for another of his mask to be underneath it!.
"♫To throw away this mask!!!♫"
"♫Secret, Secret, he's got a secret!♫"
"♫So everyone can see!!!♫"
"♫Secret, Secret, he's got a secret!♫"
"♫My true identity... I'm Wilson! Wilson! Wilson! Wilson!!!♫"
The cybermen fell into multiple pieces, one of which, landed onto the eggs that caused them to fly into the air, flip in mid air, and another landed on the counter, causing some three plates to fly & fall in the air. The pan the eggs were in flew into the air, but landed in the sink with a loud *CLANK*. Deadpool caught the plates in the air and, in a few moments, the eggs landed on the plates, perfectly cooked and with no mess. The two stared with their mouths wide open.
"...I guess breakfast is ready." Derpy awkwardly chuckled.
"That... was... AMAZING!!!" Golden yelled, hugging Deadpool as he balanced the plates on his arms.
"Uh... a little help?" Deadpool asked
"Oh! Sorry!" Golden and Derpy took their own plate off, and Deadpool sat down with the others. All three enjoyed their eggs.
"Surprised I got some Cybermen to follow me, Derpy?"
"Oh, them?" Derpy asked "Uh... kinda. How did you do it?"
"Well..." he leaned in and whispered Derpy the secret of getting Cybermen to follow you. Derpy gasped
"JUST LIKE THAT!?!?!?"
"Just like that."
"I GOTTA GO!!! MY HUSBAND NEEDS TO KNOW THIS!!!" Derpy ran out of the door, finally dropping the tiles off her head.
"I... won't ask on that." Golden replied, a bit freaked out at Derpy's reaction. "I must say, you made this morning really great! Stopping Derpy from raiding my fridge, that dance-song we did, AND saving breakfast... you are really talented."
"Stop it!!!" Deadpool replied, blushing while waving his hand as if he were a girl.
"We must remember this!"
"Already got it... A selfie!!!"
"Selfie?"
"Picture."
"Oh. Bring it in then!" The two got together and took a selfie together! "Say, were you here last night?"
"Uh... kinda."
"Where?"
"Right... next to you?"
"WHAT!?!?!"
"BYE!!!" Deadpool ran outside the house!!!
MUCH earlier:
Deadpool laid down next to Carrot Top. She purred a bit when Deadpool scratched behind her ear.
"Chek that off the bucket list," Deadpool spoke softly, checking off a list with, on it, 'Make a pony purr in their sleep'. "Now, to sleep with one as if it were a dog." Deadpool tuned and placed his chest on her back. She grumbled a bit, but Deadpool placed an arm over her. Soon, he fell asleep, and the two, though looking a bit innocent, would've looked creepy if anyone of you readers stood there and watched. Wait a minute... why would you be there? Ah screw it... End Chapter!!!