//------------------------------// // Assessing the Damage // Story: Bloom Filter // by ferret //------------------------------// Apple Bloom wanted to pace back and forth as she waited for the vet to arrive at the Apple Acres, but turning on a dime for Apple Bloom was quite beyond her capabilities. Before the vet could come, Applejack had to lead the cows out to pasture first, yet another chore they’d delayed on account of Apple Bloom, and that left Apple Bloom by herself in the farm house. The house was so empty Apple Bloom thought, when you were the only one there. It seemed even more empty when you were half as tall as you used to be. Apple Bloom walked outside again, not feeling comfortable about the emptiness. Applejack had left the door ajar for her, so it wasn’t any trouble to go outside. The back door didn’t have stairs, instead leading straight to the lawn, so it continued to not be any trouble to go outside. Apple Bloom couldn’t believe how good the sun felt on her back. It felt like her skin was waking up. She wondered if it was the transformation that made her feel this way, or if it was just the continual embarassment of her bareassment. She’d never gone out into the sun without clothes on after all, not since she was too little to remember. It was easy to confirm, so she went back in and came out with an experimental dish towel draped over her flank. “Huh,” Apple Bloom said conclusively, then tossed the dish towel aside so she could enjoy the welcome waking feeling of the sun as any horse would: in the nude. Wasn’t anyone around here she had anything to hide from, after all! Normally with the three siblings and Granny Smith all at school, the cows were fine by themselves at pasture, but the horses had to be cooped up an awful lot. You couldn’t really risk putting them out to pasture because of the likelihood that they’d hurt themselves or jump a fence and run away. It was certainly not ideal to have the farm run itself on empty during the day. Just staying behind to watch Apple Bloom had shown Applejack a bunch of things that needed doing, things that she could get doing because she was off school for the day watching her little sister horse. Apple Bloom wanted to help but, well, at least she wasn’t a danger of being a fence jumper. But she couldn’t help much, no matter how easily her sister made herself busy, so Applejack kept herself busy while Apple Bloom kept herself ...occupied. That was all Apple Bloom could do. It left Apple Bloom with a lot of time to think about herself at least, and whether she was feeling any worse changes coming on. She felt fine actually. More than fine, she felt downright perky. Apple Bloom knew she shouldn’t be feeling good about having to skip school, but it was nice to just relax and run around, and even play. Or more accurately, relax and walk hesitantly around and play. But gosh was it fun just moving around in a way that she thought was too simple to enjoy. There was just something fun about playing hookey, even if you had to be a little horse to do so. Applejack walked up from the horse barn, where she’d let off Winona for her morning feeding, finding Apple Bloom attempting to master jumping forward. Apple Bloom had it down to where she was crouching down and wiggling her hindquarters to get an idea of what they felt like, then jerking her front side up and kicking her back legs forward at the same time. Apple Bloom ...didn’t really have it down at all. In fact, she was measurably unsuccessful at jumping, this particular time. Right in front of her sister too. “Hey Apple Bloom,” Applejack said blocking the sunlight and looming over a dizzy Apple Bloom fallen prone, “You okay?” “Justh trying thoo figure ou’ jumping,” Apple Bloom said up to her sister, rolling over on her belly and carefully standing up again. “Sthee,” she demonstrated, throwing her chest back and making her arms lift up, waving them in the air before they plummeted back down to the ground, “Ah figuredh outh how thoo rear up like a horth, so jumping sthould be eashy.” “Jumpin’ huh,” Applejack said thoughtfully, “Well it’s great you’re movin’ around okay. Ah’d hate to think you couldn’t. Maybe not as much luck speakin’ better though, huh?” Apple Bloom blushed and her tail lowered on its own despite herself. She sure had been working on moving so much, that she hadn’t really been working on talking at all. Apple Bloom wasn’t really sure how to work on the latter. Her mouth was the strangest part of her right now, with the huge gap between her incisors and molars, and with that weird tongue of hers, and that big long snout that should have dominated her vision when actually she could barely see it. Having elbows that locked up was pretty mundane in comparison to how sensitive her lips had gotten. Applejack knelt down to look at Apple Bloom more evenly, saying “The vet’ll be here soon. Anything ah can do for you in the meantime?” “Juth um,” Apple Bloom hesitated, then nodded decisively, “Ah coul’ use somethin’ ta eath maybe.” Applejack scratched the side of her nose. “Ah’d say to wait for the vet,” she offered cautiously, “But you been doin’ alright so far with eatin’ stuff, and not just horse food neither. You uh... ain’t gone an’ eaten any more of the lawn have ya?” Apple Bloom blushed even harder, saying, “Nho... ah sthould eath shome though, ah guethh.” She looked at the grass beneath her hand–hooves reluctantly. Darn it why was it looking kind of tasty now? It was just grass it tasted like grass and the satisfactionary feeling when chewing it was... probably an indicator that she thought it was tasty now. “How about you try some stuff more formulated for eatin’ than just some wild grass,” Applejack suggested. Apple Bloom frowned. “Hay?” she asked. “Hay,” Applejack nodded in agreement. “Ith tho shtupid to shee grathh on a plate,” Apple Bloom complained bitterly. Applejack looked down at her thoughtfully, then stood up and walked silently into the farm house. She came back with the hay bundled in her arms and not dumped on a plate. Applejack held out a handful of the dry strands at approximately her waist height, saying, “Alright, ah want you to rear up now and take a bite out of these.” Apple Bloom snorted a laugh. “Ah’m noth a dhog,” she said rolling her eyes. “Course you ain’t, that’s why ah’m tellin’ you,” Applejack said stubbornly. “It ain’t like a dog it’s just a lil’ game to make things interestin’. Ah ain’t just gonna spoon feed you even if you ain’t got no hands no more.” “Maybe ah’ll juth eat thish then,” Apple Bloom said snidely, ignoring the hay and sticking her nose into the teasy tangles of live grass underneath her. Her sneeze knocked her back a step. She looked up at Applejack in abject um... something. Alarm. But the ridiculousness of it was just too much, and Apple Bloom felt her mouth quirking upward in that way where the more you try to stop it, the harder it is not to laugh. Applejack couldn’t hold it in either and they were both laughing pretty soon. It was really humanizing in a way. Apple Bloom might be some kind of horse thing, but here she was sharing that common bond of laughter with her sister. Apple Bloom still sounded like herself, for the ...most part, and she still was herself so far. Being reminded of how similar the two of them still were made it seem more tolerable to be totally different on the outside. Apple Bloom reared up impishly and rested her front hooves on Applejack’s thigh, stretching her neck over to take a big bite out of the handful of grass extending from Applejack’s idle grip. She mumbled something unintelligible that was supposed to sound like “Got it!” and pushed away onto her four hooves. Then Apple Bloom realized that she had just gone and ate hay, and she kind of blanked for a moment. She was just messing around still, though! It was a joke! She wasn’t really eating... yet there she was standing there on all fours with a big bunch of dry grass sticking partway out of her mouth. Even Applejack seemed surprised that her encouragement had worked so well, and watched hopefully as Apple Bloom crossed her eyes, trying to chew the crunchy dry stuff. Her incisors were pretty useless after the first initial bite, but it settled into that weird between-tooth groove naturally, and she could roll the strands from there, bit by bit, onto her rear molars for chewing. Her mouth was watering a lot, turning the dry strands into a gooey chewed up ball. It was making her feel kind of thirsty. What surprised Apple Bloom the most though was the taste. Because it tasted measurably better than the grass she’d eaten off the ground. It wasn’t as strong or pungent, and it didn’t taste as much like... well... grass. It tasted more like bread. In fact, it had more of an overtone of bread to it than the bread had had! She wondered... she wondered what kind of hay Big Mac had grabbed when he brought it in yesterday evening. “Is thith wheath?” Apple Bloom asked uneasily, still having trouble saying it even though she made sure her mouth was clear. “Whea...t?” she repeated to clarify. “Uh... ah reckon?” Applejack looked blankly at the considerably stubbier grass in her hand. “You’d have to ask Big Mac which bale he got it from.” “Coul’ ah hav shome–ah mean... ah guesh ah could thry shome more...” Apple Bloom said, a little too excitedly. “Well alright,” said Applejack, pinching the end of the little handful and waving the strands up above Apple Bloom’s head again. “Then let’s see if you can get it!” That was what Dr. Cureall witnessed when she drove up, down the crumbly dirt road to that quaint farmhouse so far in the outskirts of town. Apple Bloom was rearing up and hopping into the air while Applejack teased her higher around the farm girl in circles, with the tantalizing wheat grass just barely out of reach. Apple Bloom was having way too much fun when the doctor spoke up behind her, “Well, at least she’s well behaved!” Apple Bloom startled then and overbalanced, falling nose first into the ground. It didn’t hurt as much as it should have, but it still hurt. “Ouw...” she muttered under her breath, pushing her arm-legs against the ground to lift herself up, rubbing her nose with one. She continued in her circle around behind Applejack, at her slow walk. It was the easiest way Apple Bloom could think of to turn around, so that she could face the doctor. When she came around from behind her sister, Apple Bloom felt really nervous for some reason, but it wasn’t like a stranger or anything. If she wasn’t so giant sized, Dr. Cureall would practically be familiar enough to call a friend by now. Dr. Cureall was wearing more functional khaki cargo pants now, and a white collared button up shirt with a pocket stuffed full of pens. Her blue white hair was still back in a ponytail, and she had a stethoscope hanging around her neck. She didn’t approach when she saw Apple Bloom’s hesitance, saying to Applejack in a kindly tone, “Is it alright if I get a look at her?” “C’mon, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said encouragingly. Not that she had to encourage her, because Apple Bloom was totally confident, cool and collected when she crept out from behind Applejack. She certainly wasn’t stifling a whimper looking up at the veterinarian. It wasn’t like this was the first non-family member who ever saw Apple Bloom as a little horse completely naked except for the giant bow in her hair. The vet knelt down to Apple Bloom with a look of wonder on her face. “Well I’ll be. I’ve never seen anything like this before! Is this as small as she gets?” she asked up at Applejack. Applejack, who glanced at Apple Bloom uncertainly, answered, “We don’t rightly know, as we caint weigh her on the bathroom scale, and she’s way too light for the livestock scale. Dr. Stable said if she was above 17 pounds, then she wasn’t gettin’ any smaller.” “That’s just about the lower limit any horse has ever weighed!” the veterinarian said, “I took the liberty into reading up some on miniature horses, but even newborn foals can be up to 25 pounds.” She gave Apple Bloom another critical eye and said, “This one doesn’t look newborn though. I’d say at least 2 years old. This is really ...her?” Apple Bloom nodded, but Dr. Cureall was looking up at Applejack, who was also nodding. Wait a sec... The vet approached Apple Bloom crouched-down, with a hand cautiously outstretched in an open palm. She didn’t look Apple Bloom directly in the eye, but was just making soothing chk-chk noises with her tongue. Apple Bloom was starting to feel real uncomfortable about exactly what was going on here. Unsure of what to do, Apple Bloom just stuck her arm out and rested the hoof at the end of it on the vet’s palm, in a vague attempt at a handshake. “My god that is just precious,” the vet said with a huge smile, closing her hand so very lightly and timidly around Apple Bloom’s little hoof. Apple Bloom looked up at her sister for any idea but Applejack was just looking back at her with an equally confounded expression. Apple Bloom looked back at the vet, kind of warily turning her nose sideways and greeted Dr. Cureall with, “Uh... hi.” “Oh jezus it still talks!” the vet exclaimed in utter bewilderment. She let go of Apple Bloom’s hoof as if it burned her, and lurched back violently, half standing up before falling harshly onto her butt. Apple Bloom stared open mouthed at the vet before exclaiming angrily up at her sister, “Applethack!” “Oh lordy, ah forgot to tell ya!” Applejack slapped her hand over her forehead. “You thought she was just a horse?!” The vet looked frantically between Applejack and Apple Bloom with a dumbfounded expression just saying, “But... how... but... what... how...” “Ah’m shtill me,” Apple Bloom explained to the vet as gently as she could what with Applejack telling the vet she was just a dumb horse. “Even nhow!” “How is that possible?” Dr. Cureall finally managed to spit out, “You don’t even have room for a brain!” Apple Bloom shrunk back fear swelling at the vet’s sudden harsh tone. “Ah don’ know!” she worried. “Ah jus’ am! Asthk me anything, ah can sthill do ith!” she added challengingly, reflexively squaring her hooves on the ground. The vet blinked slowly, then said in a wavering tone, “What’s... 10 minus 7?” “Hthree,” Apple Bloom said quickly. “19 plus... 23?” Apple Bloom had to pause there, tapping her hoof here and there on the ground to remember the places and carrying. “Fourthythoo!” she concluded triumphantly, puffing her chest out. “You remember everything?” the vet said skeptically. “Yeth,” Apple Bloom asserted, “Ah’m sthill me an’ ah wanna sthay that hway, sho can you figure a way outh thoo meashure how big ah am? Ah jus’ wanna shtop schanging an’ be g...done with itsh!” The doctor cast a pleading gaze to Applejack asking weakly, “...what did she say?” Apple Bloom hated not being able to talk right! She hmphed in frustration. It came out sounding like a horse. Now she felt like crying again. “We need to measure her weight,” Applejack said carefully, “An’ the people-doc said you might know how.” The vet blinked again, then she said, “Oh! Oh right!” Picking herself up dazedly, she straightened her disarrayed collar saying to Applejack, “If you can show me your bathroom scale there’s an old trick for measuring cats and dogs that I... think would work on her, if she’s not too heavy.” At the threshold of the bathroom, Apple Bloom caught herself looking at her reflection in the door mirror again. Nothing had changed that she could see. It was a lot less horrifying when you knew what you were going to see in there, even if you couldn’t see your own butt in it, because your body was so distorted that your butt extended out beyond the boundary of the mirror. A sudden thought occurred to Apple Bloom that maybe at a different angle she could see her butt, like, see see her butt in the mirror, to see how bad it looked... down there. Her tail went down at the very thought, and the vet was ready for her anyway so Apple Bloom didn’t have to worry about it. “I still got it,” the vet said smugly, as she stood alone on the scale weighing herself. Apple Bloom wasn’t sure at first how weighing yourself helped weigh someone else, but she found out quickly when the vet stepped off the scale and crouched down again in front of her. Dr. Cureall held out her arms around Apple Bloom then hesitated then said, “Uh... I am going to have to pick you up. Is that alright?” in a rather forced tone. Apple Bloom turned her head shyly, but nodded saying, “N-no problem.” So the vet braced one arm against Apple Bloom’s chest, wrapping it around the side of her, and that was the easy part. The other hand tucked underneath in front of her legs... her back legs, then wrapped around the underside of her lower torso, a part of Apple Bloom which was a lot more sensitive than her um... chest. The vet stood up then, grunting as she took on Apple Bloom’s weight with some, but very little difficulty. Dr. Cureall’s two arms became like a sling that lifted Apple Bloom along with them, Apple Bloom’s own four ...legs dangling down below her. “Y’alright?” the vet asked her. “Ith fahn,” Apple Bloom said shortly, a blush rushing to her face. It sure didn’t feel bad at least. She didn’t want to think about what was being felt though. So the vet walked over and stood on the scale, reading the number once it settled, then stepped off it and squatted down again, placing Apple Bloom’s hooves securely on the ground before releasing her torso. “Well, you appear to be about 21 pounds,” the vet said. “That’d put you on the small side as far as medium sized dogs are concerned. Uh, n-not that you’re a dog I mean, you know, you know what I mean.” “Thwenthyone poun’s?” Apple Bloom said thoughtfully, “But that’h way above.... thehventheen poun’s!” Wow, she never realized how much harder numbers were to say than any other words. So many freaking esses and tees. But that meant...! “So she’s done?!” Applejack asked the vet, who looked at her uncomprehendingly. “She’s done changing?” Applejack clarified. “I don’t... how much was she supposed to weigh again?” the vet asked vacillating. “17 pounds,” Applejack answered, “Or lower.” “She is definitely over 17 pounds,” Dr. Cureall said. “You mean about Doc Doc’s calculations? He could’ve been wro—I mean, yes it does mean she’s done changing. You should call him and check though!” “If ah’m dhone schangin’ hthen maybe ah won’th ge’ all dumb!” Apple Bloom exclaimed excitedly. “You caint imagine how grateful we are, doctor!” Applejack said setting her butt down next to where Apple Bloom was standing and laying an arm around her tiny horseness. “Ah was afraid ah’d lose my lil’ baby sister!” Apple Bloom started to smile but blushed horribly at that last part. “You alwayth hcall me htat!” she said upset at her sister’s dumb way she liked to refer to Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom was more upset with how much more accurate the jibe applied to her now. “Ah’m only hthree yearth younger hthan you!” she asserted to Applejack impotently. Applejack pulled her arm back and looked gobstopped, herself. “Ah didn’t even think about that Apple Bloom!” she declared in an apologetic tone. “That was right thoughtless of me! Ah only meant it like a joke as always; ah didn’t mean you were literally like that.” Applejack looked at the doctor and gave her a helpless look asking plainly, “Why’s Apple Bloom all like a baby now?” The doctor paused, and then said curtly to Applejack, “Listen, I know all there is to know about horses, and Apple Bloom is no ordinary horse. I can check her vitals and maybe even make a suggestion or two about how much she resembles a horse and should therefore act like one, but this is... this is something so beyond anything... I just don’t even know what to tell you. Maybe she’s supposed to look that way? Gypsy curse? I can’t say!” She leaned closer to Apple Bloom asking her in a whisper, “You didn’t offend any gypsies lately, did ya?” Apple Bloom tried to hold back a laugh. “All right, alright,” Applejack conceded. “Just check her over and ah’ll call the doc.” Applejack stood up, leaving Apple Bloom feeling vulnerable once again. It was a small comfort that her tail went down, but Apple Bloom didn’t feel comfortable just standing like this under the scrutiny of others. She couldn’t fiddle with her hands nervously, or scratch the back of her head or cross her arms or anything. Her arms were holding her weight as much as her feet, so she just had to stand there clumsily, not feeling confident that she was coordinated enough to move with them fluidly if the vet did anything unexpected or sudden. Didn’t help that the vet kept talking down to her, when she talked to her at all. “Alright, suppose I’ll take a listen to you,” the doctor started off, putting a hand against Apple Bloom’s shoulder to steady her and pressing the cold stethoscope against Apple Bloom’s belly... side... barrel. She put the stethoscope in two spots on either side of Apple Bloom, one at the top of Apple Bloom’s thigh, the other right down by her... things she didn’t want to think about. The metal disk of the stethoscope was so huge compared to Apple Bloom that there really wasn’t much difference in positioning it, but the doctor seemed to know what she was doing. “Mmmhmm,” Dr. Cureall said, seeming satisfied by whatever she heard, moving the stethoscope to entirely underneath Apple Bloom, making her wince again from the contact. “Mmmhmm, mmhmm,” the vet continued, lifting the chilly metal disk and placing firmly on the part of Apple Bloom’s chest that was right behind her elbow. Or, no it was underneath her armpit. Or, her... elbow... pit... thing. Apple Bloom didn’t know how her arms worked, or why her armpit was at her elbow. Dr. Cureall seemed to find all the most uncomfortable spots to put that thing! The vet’s fingers pressed alongside dimpling into Apple Bloom, holding the stethoscope against her. The vet looked at her other hand which had a watch on the wrist. There was a minute long pause. Then she took the stethoscope away, and picked up her little notepad, writing something in it without saying what it was. “Sho how’m ah dhooing?” Apple Bloom asked, blushing as she did. The vet just stopped, kind of looking at Apple Bloom blankly. “D-ooing?” Apple Bloom repeated, pronouncing it roughly correct, with difficulty. “Oh!” the vet said in realization, “That’s right you’re a... right, you want to know those things. You’re doin’ just fine, honey.” She didn’t clarify herself at all, and just started looking into Apple Bloom’s eyes and ears with a light, so Apple Bloom asked, “Were you hlishning... hlistening to mah belly?” “Mmm, trying to hear your digestion,” the vet said distractedly, “You probably should eat more forage, lots more at least until you have a bowel movement. No way to tell if there’s any irritation or obstruction if there ain’t anything in there being digested! “Sho like grassh an’ shtuff?” “Yes, and with few grains as possible,” said the doctor stroking Apple Bloom’s neck gently and sticking her finger into the side of Apple Bloom’s mouth, peeling back her lips without even asking. “Mlah?” Apple Bloom said a bit startled and the vet cooed at her, “It’s okay honey, you don’t need to bite. I’m not gonna hurtcha.” Apple Bloom’s brow knitted in frustration but she settled down and never even once came close to biting anyone. It wasn’t pleasant though. Apple Bloom’s lips were supple and sensitive, and too easily pulled out of the way to access her gums. That wasn’t pleasant because the vet kept depressing a fingertip into them along their length. She seemed satisfied with Apple Bloom’s gums, but tsked when she was tracing a finger down the almost ninety degree turn of Apple Bloom’s neck. It was more that Apple Bloom’s neck went forward as it curved around down to become her chest, but at the base of her nape it ended up looking like a ninety degree turn. The doc didn’t like it, at any rate. And she poked worryingly at the base of Apple Bloom’s tail, which treacherously sprang up into a merry arc in the air any time Apple Bloom relaxed and stopped trying to cover her privates. Thankfully the vet didn’t go poking around in her privates. Apple Bloom was a bit surprised when the vet started squeezing around her foot, which is to say the side of her rear leg that was straight up in the air. Apple Bloom looked back at her with confusion. The vet pushed her off balance then, and Apple Bloom had to lift her foot to catch herself, but before she could put it down the vet grabbed it and held her up by it. “Good girl!” Dr. Cureall said happily, setting down Apple bloom’s leg gently, then going and squeezing the foot again. “Wha’re you hdoing?” Apple Bloom asked her exasperatedly. “Oh! Um...” the doctor poked Apple Bloom’s foot again hesitantly, “Can ya lift your hooves for me?” Even after they got that little misunderstanding dealt with, Apple Bloom was puzzled by how fascinated the vet seemed to be with what were pretty much just Apple Bloom’s weirdly shaped fingertips. But the vet got tired of poking at Apple Bloom’s surprisingly responsive hooves eventually. She didn’t say what she found though, which frustated Apple Bloom to no end. When Applejack returned with a hopeful expression the doctor was busy pulling at Apple Bloom’s shoulder/side and Apple Bloom’s skin came away way too easy, hanging there a while before going back into place. “Whath’s tha’ for?” Apple Bloom prompted the overly uncommunicative doctor lady again. “Mmm, you’re one dehydrated little horse. Gotta get some water in you,” the vet mumbled. And now that Apple Bloom thought on it, she hadn’t drank hardly anything since waking up today. She swallowed dryly hoping the exam would be over soon so she could get to that. Applejack announced to Apple Bloom, “Doc says you should be down to 13 pounds by now, if you were still changin’. Ain’t no mistakin’ that! He said to weigh you after an hour to make sure. Ah hope whatever this is, is all done with ya though!” “Oh, glad you’re here!” the vet said standing up to address Applejack. “I don’t suppose you’ve been hydrating her?” At Applejack’s blank expression the vet added, “...providing her with water?” “Oh lordy you’re right!” Applejack said nervously, “Apple Bloom, why didn’t you say anything? You ain’t drank anything but part a glass of OJ, and after all that dry hay.” “Bit dithtractedh,” Apple Bloom said moodily, “Can ah have some, please?” “No juice!” the vet said earnestly getting in Applejack’s face. “Uh, okay then,” Applejack said uneasily, “Ah was just gonna get some water anyhow.” “It is very important she avoid sugary foods or food high in carbohydrates,” the vet pressed, “That includes juice! Too much could throw off her blood sugar and that leads to...” she looked at Apple Bloom with a nervous glance, “...bad things.” “What kindtha thingsh?” Apple Bloom asked worriedly. “Ah cain’th hdrink dey...dje...jeuce anymore?!” “I... I’m not saying you are going to get laminitis but it’s a very valid concern!” the vet said. Apple Bloom remembered reading about that word once before, but only vaguely. Applejack recognized it though because she paled immediately and said, “Right, no juice. Got it.” “Alright, that’s all set,” the vet said as Applejack jogged off. “Now just relax cutie and I’ll be right back.” She stroked Apple Bloom on the nose, then straightened up and strode off, heading towards her vehicle. Apple Bloom rubbed her nose with a hoof, feeling offended for some reason. Applejack came back first with the water and... well... it was understandable considering what a mess Apple Bloom made when she tried to use a cup but, well, Applejack came back with a nice clean fresh bowl of water. Apple Bloom’s ears went down when she saw it. “Too much?” Applejack said abashedly, “Ah can go get a—” “No no ith fine,” Apple Bloom said hastily. Applejack reluctantly set down the bowl, and Apple Bloom looked at it unhappily but... she was too thirsty to be proud. She couldn’t tilt it back to pour it down her throat certainly, so she stood in front of it and tried submerging her nose in the water and pursing her lips to just suck out some. That worked good actually, and Apple Bloom felt her ears turn up as her surprisingly parched tissues welcomed the sweet nourishment, gulping down mouthful after mouthful. “Terribly sorry, Apple Bloom,” Applejack said as Apple Bloom finished lifting her dripping muzzle out of the water. “Forgot you might have to drink a lot more with the whole horse thing and all.” “Sokay Happlhthath ah feerlh—feerlh...waithh...” Apple Bloom paused and smacked her lips again, and crossed her eyes at her muzzle, declaring angrily, “Oh no! Ah go’ arhl uuthed thoo thalthking wilth a dthry thoungue!” “Didn’t catch that,” Applejack replied delicately. Apple Bloom stared at the bowl in front of her then at her sister and said, “Thst...shs..shtill can’ thalgk... thalk gool... good. Thalk good. Can...tuh.” Applejack looked like she wanted to reply but her anxiety was warring with her diplomacy. There just wasn’t anything anyone could say that wouldn’t just make Apple Bloom feel worse about herself and her big dumb floppy tongue. Apple Bloom silently went down for another drink. Running back with a medical bag, Dr. Cureall said to Applejack, “Sorry about that, I just needed one thing to finish a basic vitals checkup.” She smiled practically and held up a digital thermometer, then turned to Apple Bloom. “Alright,” the doctor said looking down at Apple Bloom, but still talking to Applejack. “If you’ll keep her settled and calm, I should be able to take her temperature to at least get a baseline.” Apple Bloom sighed inwardly. This doctor just couldn’t accept that she was a person, not a wild animal who needed handling. Apple Bloom wondered how many people would react that way to her. “You thon’t needth thoo harndle me,” she said to the doctor, who was startled by Apple Bloom talking (again! jeez!). “Thee?” she said, and Apple Bloom opened her mouth obediently, lifting up her tongue for easy insertion. When no thermometer came, Apple Bloom cracked an eye open at the doc who was looking very uncomfortable with her right now. “Ehhh...” Dr. Cureall said with utmost caution and tact looking at the thermometer and Apple Bloom’s mouth with trepidation, “You really don’t want me to do that.” So it turns out that Apple Bloom did appreciate being kept settled and calm. Let’s not forget the fact that, while a horse might not even notice a digital thermometer, Apple Bloom was like a tenth of the size of a full grown horse. So yeah. Handling. She was never ever going to get a checkup from this lady again. “Well, now that that’s all said and done,” Dr. Cureall said nervously to an equally uncomfortable Applejack, “Let’s go over Apple Bloom’s vital signs. I measured her heart rate at 103 which I’ll assume is average for her, now. It’s probably average for an ...animal of her size, along with her respiratory rate of 27.” “Though, I bet they were higher during the temperature reading!” the vet said in exaggerated cheer with a sloppy grin. The vet then coughed in the silence, “Sorry, bad joke. But seriously, that might not be her resting rate, as exams can be stressful and get the heart rate and breathing up, but it’s the best I can do on short notice. Her temperature is 100 which is right on the nose as far as horses are concerned. Her ears are clean, and her eyes are clear. Her eyes are... well, I mean...” She gestured at Apple Bloom broadly, declaring, “This isn’t a horse!” They both blinked at the vet, and she tried to clarify herself. “Horses have horizontal pupils, first off. Apple Bloom here has round pupils, and they dilate radially. They’re probably the most humanlike part about her right now. In fact it might just be her small stature, I have no way to measure her before, but her eyes seem like they’re even bigger than a human’s! Which is the exact opposite from a horse’s eyes which should be smaller than a human’s.” “Take a look at this,” Dr. Cureall said grabbing Apple Bloom’s tail unannounced and pulling it around over to Applejack. “Her tail goes all the way to the end here, see the part near the tip that’s still fleshy?” “She definitely doesn’t have a horse’s tail,” Applejack said thoughtfully, “Otherwise it’d be all hair at the end.” “Yet she has a tail!” the doctor declared releasing Apple Bloom to yank her tail to herself and curl around it blushing fiercely. “She stands on four legs that end in hooves. Her ears are motile, her muzzle is equine if terribly short for a horse’s muzzle. But even her hooves don’t quite fit the bill! Look at–” Apple Bloom jerked her hoof out of the doctor’s seeking grasp, shooting her a nasty look, and then stretching out the hoof on her own for Applejack to see... whatever she’s supposed to see. “...right,” the doctor said meekly, “You can see the size of her frog it’s huge! Encompasses the entire hoof cavity. Also it’s strange, if you feel it... I mean, if that’s uh, okay with you that is...” “Go aheadth,” Apple Bloom muttered rolling her eyes at the doctor. Applejack hesitantly poked Apple Bloom’s fingertip, or... ‘frog’ it would be now. Apple Bloom was finding her perception of her hoof a lot weirder than she thought it would be. It should have felt like Applejack had normal fingers, poking and pulling against Apple Bloom’s one weird big finger, but instead it felt to Apple Bloom like tiny little hooves were kicking hers. She had to look to convince herself that there wasn’t a tiny little horse in place of Applejack’s hand. “Huh,” said Applejack. “It’s kinda sticky.” Well, now Apple Bloom’s interest was piqued. She looked at the underside of her hoof but it was just a smooth yellow lump it wasn’t slimy or crusty or anything. What was so sticky about it? She tried touching her own chest with it, but– “And that!” the vet exclaimed excitedly. “How are you doing that?” Apple Bloom looked up at Dr. Cureall surprisedly, setting her leg back down as the doctor said, “No wait don’t–” The doctor groaned then just stated tiredly, “Horses... cannot do what this– what Apple Bloom just did. They cannot look at the underside of their own hoof. It just doesn’t articulate that way. And they cannot make... arm... joints come out of nowhere. Seriously,” she looked up at Applejack gesturing at Apple Bloom, “Did you see that?” Applejack gave the doctor an exasperated sigh, and said “You could just ask you know.” She then knelt down and said gently to Apple Bloom, “Can ya look at your own hoof again?” Apple Bloom turned her hoof up obediently, but stayed looking at Applejack instead of looking down at it again. “Good, hold that pose!” Applejack cheered, then said to the doctor, “Now, you were sayin’ somethin’?” “Fascinating!” the vet declared, running her fingers up and down Apple Bloom’s arm. “Alright, now if you can stand on your hoof again...” she instructed hestitantly. Apple Bloom did so plant her hoof down, but made sure to ask, “Whath ith thith abou’?” “Well, it’s almost like your shoulders are...” the vet trailed off, poking Apple Bloom’s side, as if searching for a way to describe it in there. “Lohcking up?” Apple Bloom suggested. “zthey do thath when ah shtand on zthem.” “I was going to say unlocking, but yeah,” the vet agreed, “Horses have fixed shoulders for structural support, just like when Apple Bloom is standing, but she seems to be able to ...release that, giving her front legs a greater freedom of motion...” The doctor sat back on her rear on the floor, crossing her legs and cupping her chin, the gears in her head practically audible from across the room. “Okay,” Dr. Cureall announced eagerly, “I think I got it! The dream Apple Bloom had was actually astral projection, through which she came to us from a parallel universe to our own where horses evolved sentience instead of humans, and she’s merely returned to her original form, and that’s why she resembles a horse but has so many characteristics we identify as human, because they evolved the same characteristics in stead of us!” “That’s the most ridiculous thing I ever—” Applejack said conclusively and definitively, before Dr. Cureall interrupted her mid-sentence, by rushing up to Apple Bloom’s face and saying, “What is it like in your home dimension? Do you live in cities or are you nomadic? Can we visit there? Are you the only sentient beings? Do you come in peace?” “Apple Bloom is not from a parallel universe!” Applejack snapped at the doctor. “Ah don’t know why she’s this way, but this is mah very own flesh and blood, not some alien visitor from beyond! A parallel universe exists, full of smart horses? Where do you even get that idea? That’s just not” Applejack paused. “That’s not...” she said trying again, but couldn’t quite get it out. She turned her chin down fingers over her mouth thoughfully. “Ith makess shensh,” Apple Bloom said hesitantly, looking at her own hoof... the only thing Apple Bloom had left to call a hand anymore. “Bu’ all ah ever remehmbehr,” she continued, “Isz bein’ nohrmal, an’ humahn. Ah wasn’ a pony zthe dhay before yeshterday, or any dhay before zthat. I was jus’ a nohrmal ngirl!” Doctor looked at her blankly, saying “...didn’t catch that.” Apple Bloom’s tail swished irritably. She said as clearly and curtly as she could manage. “dh...don’... Don’t. Remembehr. Nnnot. Being. Human.” “Look. Ah got a friend,” Applejack said holding her hands up placatingly, “Who knows all sorts of stuff about magic and myths and golden apples an’ stuff. Ah’ll ask her again. But for now we caint worry about something we caint do nothin’ about. So enough of the speculation. Let’s just calm down, relax, and uh... anyone up for some grub?” Dr. Cureall didn’t want to get paid for this visit. She said that witnessing something as incredible as Apple Bloom was payment enough. But Applejack insisted, though the vet gave her a huge discount, possibly because of the lunch Applejack prepared for her. No, definitely because of the lunch Applejack prepared for the doctor. Two words: stroganoff sandwich. And as lunch progressed, Apple Bloom came to envy that cow. It was easy enough for Applejack to drag a hay bale of tasty alfalfa into the farm house, and alfalfa it turns out was quite tasty and nutritious for a growing little filly. And better yet, it didn’t have any of those scary grain carbohydrate things that could make your hooves fall off. Apple Bloom didn’t feel nearly as humiliated as when she had when it was grass on a plate, either. She was fine with just pulling pieces off the block of hay with her mouth to chew on. Something about it being a natural hay bale made it more ...bearable, and Applejack had sort of gotten Apple Bloom over her inhibitions about eating the stuff. And it wasn’t like Apple Bloom had to choke the stuff down dry. Not that it really was all that dry, but there was a nice big clean metal bucket they had. Apple Bloom even carried it into the house from the spigot all by herself, by holding the lip of the bucket firmly in her teeth. That she could do so, even with it full of water, made her feel a lot more confident about herself. So Apple Bloom sat there placidly chewing on the mild tasting hay, and she should have been feeling confident and triumphant. But instead, her stomach rumbled treacherously, as she gazed longingly at the sour cream dipped strips of meat sliding in the molten cheese of the sandwich as it entered Dr. Cureall’s mouth again and again. The meat smell was to die for, and all that buttery fatty goodness that made the onions sweet as caramel, and even the bread was fresh baked rolls. Bread that Apple Bloom could never eat again, or her hooves would fall off. Difficult to digest, impossible to chew, yet so tasty beef. It was sauteed in deliciously spicy mustard that made her nose twitch in delight, and was a deadly poison to her now. Onions that could give her anemia. And a nice side of fried potatoes that would give her colic, which would kill her faster than the laminitis. Apple Bloom was definitely envying the cow in that sandwich by the end of lunch. There was one more thing the vet had to do before leaving, which was weigh Apple Bloom. Apple Bloom was almost grateful when the lunch was over and the delicious smells were cleaned up, and evaporated back to the ambient smell of sturdy wood with a slight hint of the sweet clematis climbing the wall outside. At the bathroom door, she settled back on her haunches pretty easily this time, and the vet just wrapped her arms around behind Apple Bloom and lifted her up by her forelegs to weigh her. It was a lot less awkward for Apple Bloom than having an arm groping around down... there. “...21.5 pounds,” Dr. Cureall announced, having taken the differential between their weights. Apple Bloom’s sadness and stress evaporated at the sound of that. Because... she was still her! She wasn’t some dumb horse after all! Just some... weird alien dimension horse who wasn’t dumb at all. She even proved it, by doing some long division for Applejack and Dr. Cureall. Apple Bloom had to do it in her head of course, since she couldn’t write, and she got the wrong answer at first because she put the numbers in the wrong imagined columns, but her skill wasn’t any worse than it was before! Let’s see what Mr. Doodle thought about her math skills now! Right, as soon as she... figured out how to attend school again. Alright, so maybe not all her problems were over. The doctor headed out having pushed all her appointments to the afternoon, leaving Apple Bloom alone with Applejack again. Pretty soon after that, the home phone started to ring. Applejack went to pick it up, saying “Yello?” Apple Bloom was busy pushing around some scraps of paper with numbers written on them, and didn’t bother listening to who it was, but then Applejack shouted over to her, “Hey Apple Bloom, it’s your English teacher!” “Wha?” Apple Bloom said twisting her head around dumbfoundedly. Miss Harshvoice was calling her? “Wants to know why you’re absent today,” Applejack said with a roll of her eyes. “Um, uh...” Apple Bloom hesitated, wobbling on her hooves. Applejack snickered then, and got a sly look on her face. “Why sure she’s here!” she declared to the phone, “Hold on ah’ll go get her.” “Applethack!” Apple Bloom protested, but Applejack would have none of it, lifting the phone base off its place on the mantle, and lowering it to Apple Bloom’s level. Applejack squatted, holding out the receiver so Apple Bloom could speak, looking at her expectantly. “Hurro?” Apple Bloom said into it, looking worriedly up at Applejack, who had this crazed grin on her face. “Miss Apple Bloom!” came Ms. Harshvoice’s harsh...voice clearly out of the earpiece. “When that strange phenomenon occured, you never returned to class. I had assumed the worst had happened, when you did not arrive for class today! If you are so easily available, then why haven’t you come back to class? It was said your condition was not sickening or virulent, so you had better have a good excuse!” “Ah’m thorry Merz Harshvoithe,” Apple Bloom said frantically, “Buh ah’m uh, sortha tha earsh goth worthe an’ hthen ah wen’ an’ thurned into thom kintha tdiny horthe! You goh’uh unthersthan! Ah cain’ come tho shcool like thith!” There was an odd sort of interference in the phone signal then. It sort of sounded like one continued long agonisingly aggrivated scream. It was hard to hear though because the phone got knocked away when Applejack fell back on her butt laughing. Apple Bloom gaped at her, then frowned in realization exclaiming again, “Applejhack!” in outraged frustration. That just made Applejack laugh harder. Applejack regained her composure, saying mirthfully into the phone, “Terribly sorry Ms. Harshvoice, but Apple Bloom has a bit of a mouth and throat condition, so she might be a bit hard to unnerstand right now.” “You did that on purpose!” came Ms. Harshvoice’s disembodied accusatory shout. “Ah really am sorry though,” Applejack said to her turning away from Apple Bloom. “Apple Bloom really does have a ...condition, an’ she ain’t gonna be able to come to school, maybe not for a ...while.” There was a pause, and Ms. Harshvoice said in a strangely melancholy way, “I’m sorry to hear that. If she must miss a significant portion of the year it will set her back considerably.” There was another pause and her teacher said, “At least she has the farm.” Applejack said something else but Apple Bloom didn’t really hear what they were talking about anymore, because her ears turned away and down on their own. After hanging up the phone, Applejack got down to the ground and looked Apple Bloom in the eye, saying “Ah’m sorry you got a bit of rotten luck here, but I swear we will get through this. As long as you’re true to yourself, things’ll work out alright somehow.” Apple Bloom looked at Applejack hopefully, but the light of hope sputtered in her eyes as she did. “Ah’rll be in mah room,” she said dimly, turning away to head over there. “Ah’m ghonna gho prahctith shpeakin’” She was sure Applejack wanted to say something to comfort her, but Applejack let her go. Apple Bloom wasn’t in the mood to be comforted anyway, and she really really needed to figure out how to use this mouth of hers without sounding like she was chewing on a bunch of marbles. It was one step of many that she had to overcome, if she was ever going to get a semblance of a normal life again, but she was determined to try her best no matter what the odds. Her ears went up as she firmed her resolve. Apple Bloom then stopped at the stairs, looking up them with a blank expression. “Uhm... Appleshack?”