//------------------------------// // Phoenix // Story: Lead Hearts and Feathered Wings // by maddox078 //------------------------------// A scene of chaos drew in the views of passing individuals on Whistlegrass Lane. From both sides of the narrow street, ponies rubbernecked as they approached the large broken bay window, and the filth and devastation it served as a portal to. Upon seeing what lay beyond the window, those walking with small children quickly ushered them across the stone street; immediately inside the walls of the historic home lay an unconscious mare, with a family of empty brown bottles surrounding her. Her fitful snoring served as the only indication that her eyes would ever open again. It did not take long before one of the passing ponies sought out a peacekeeper to address the situation. As the early morning sun blinded its eastbound travelers, a heavily-built grey stallion clad in steel plating cautiously pushed his way through the gathering crowd. The earth-pony that had fetched him led the officer to the pile of shattered glass lying before the window. Upon seeing the unconscious, drunken mare inside, he delicately stepped through the jagged opening, careful not to make contact with the remaining razor shards of glass in the frame. The plates of his armor clinked together as he crouched down to examine the home's sole occupant. He firmly placed a hoof on the stiff, matted fur on her neck, checking her pulse. Faint undulations greeted his touch and informed him of the declining state the mare was in. Using his horn, the large unicorn hoisted the pegasus in his golden aura and onto his back. After confirming she was securely draped across his backplate, he conjured up a small slip of parchment and a long, black quill. The officer hastily scratched out a note to the police dispatch, informing them that somepony was going to need to investigate the home further to ensure there wasn't any foul-play involved, and to clean up the shocking scene. With a sharp fizzle, the message was sent and the pair made their way through the parting crowd and towards the small hospital a few miles away. "Hello, Doctor Melody told me to come by so I could see my friend, Rarity. Is she available right now?" The brown unicorn mare at the nurse's station looked up from the newspaper she'd been reading, lack of sleep evident in her eyes. She recognized the amethyst unicorn regarding her from the night before; she'd been a part of the convoluted case of violence and resentment between a few members of the Elements that had transpired the previous evening. Before the nurse could reply, Doctor Melody's rose-colored form emerged from a nearby room, seemingly responding to Twilight's inquiry. "Twilight, hello!" Her professionally pleasant voice called out in a slightly muted tone. "Rarity is doing just fine, follow me." Smiling in reply, Twilight followed her around the nurse's desk and down naturally-lit hallway towards her friend's room. "Yes, Rarity is doing well. So much so, in fact, that she gave a hearty swing at me when I re-set her nose. The girl about put me in one of those rooms." The doctor laughed good-naturedly. Twilight snapped her attention to the mare walking beside her, "Wait, she did what??" "Oh it's no big deal; having to give foals injections as often as I do makes you accustomed to hooves swinging at your face." The two shared an earnest laugh as Doctor Melody rapped on the door to room 113. "Yes, you may come in." A dulcet feminine voice called out from beyond it. "Hey 'Slugger,' heard you're feeling better." Twilight smirked as she walked over to give her unicorn friend a hug. "I beg your pardon?" Twilight and Melody shared a knowing look, both attempting to conceal their laughter. Rarity's puzzled expression melted away into embarrassment at the realization of their conspiring exchange. "Hey, it hurt!" Rarity crossed her forelegs and huffed indignantly. Ignoring her friend's pouting, Twilight walked over to her bed and gave her a disarming hug. "So is she all ready to leave, or do we-" Twilight's voice hung still in the air as she was abruptly cut off by the urgent voices of two male nurses bursting through a nearby entrance. "Hey Doctor Greenbriar, we need an emergency stomach pump! Patient is a pegasus mare, about 110 lbs." The larger of the two nurses shouted out with professional urgency, as he pushed the gurney along the previously docile hallways. The stallion in question emerged swiftly from the room across from 113 and began following the pair towards the emergency room. As he stepped in line with them, he began his interrogation. "Patient identification? Any known allergies on record?" He spoke in tandem to the furious scratches of his pen against the clipboard levitated in front of him. "Patient name is Rainbow Dash, uh, I believe it says here she is allergic to.....aspirin but nothing else as far as we have on record." The smaller of the nurses spoke absentmindedly while shuffling through a disheveled stack of paper records. "Alright, get an IV going on her once we get to the ER; I'm going to fetch Doctor Redwood." The stallions pushing the gurney confirmed his orders as Doctor Greenbriar turned down another hall in search of his co-worker. Twilight could still hear the continually fading voices of the two nurses as she bore a hole in the wall in front of her with a flabbergasted stare. She turned away from the open door hesitantly and met the equally shocked faces of the other mares in the room. Rarity expressed nothing discernible and Doctor Melody seemed apologetic. As abruptly as the entire scene of chaos had spawned, Twilight bolted for the door, ignoring the doctor's pleas to return. The smell of harsh bleach perturbed Twilight's mind as she rested her head on yet another stiff hospital bed housing one of her friends in its sterile embrace. Her swollen eyes gave no more of their tears as she let out a shaky sigh born of fear and sorrow. Despite a lack of tears, she shuddered sporadically from her sobbing. She wished she had someone, anyone, here to hold her, but Rarity was advised not to leave her room and violate hospital protocol such as Twilight had done. It was only in secrecy that she had been permitted by Doctor Melody to tend to Rainbow's bedside; she would not risk her job allowing another into Dash's room so quickly after her trip to the ER. Twilight's mind was besieged by an occlusive blanket of exhaustion and heartache. She couldn't count the minutes she sat with her head face down on the scratchy cotton quilt cloaking most of her friend's sedentary form. The unicorn lay there, as alive as the patient a mere leg's length away from herself. The hypnotic chorus of heart monitors and sluggishly ticking clocks threatened to pull her down into her own coma. As her eyelids sank, she felt the faintest rustling from under the covers. She immediately perked up and faced the stirring pegasus whose eyes stuttered open. The groggy mare surveyed her surroundings with a notable hint of distaste before settling her vision on the only other pony in the room. "Twi....." She faintly called. Twilight closed the gap between them and merely stared at her in reply. Her body was twitching from a cocktail of dreadful emotion, her face betraying her unrest. "Rainbow!...." She spoke in exclamation that made it seem as if she had more to say, but her search for words came up empty and left her mouth expectantly agape. The lavender mare leaned in and rested her head against her friend's, being content with physical expression of her frustration. Dash could feel the crusted purple fur scratch against her as Twilight made contact; she had clearly been crying. Neither broke away from the other for quite some time, staying silent and leaving a vacuum of sound to be filled by one another's labored breathing. It was not long before Rainbow finally heard the quiet sobs from the unicorn that her tear-stained fur had alluded to. She was in a drought of understanding, wholly incapable of discerning what her heart felt and what her mind thought. Seeing one of her closest friends collapsed upon her neck in sympathy and terror was far too real for the pegasus. Rainbow felt as if she had woken up in the hooves of a condemned prisoner, forced to listen in shock and disgust at the transgressions she'd allegedly committed in some immemorial past. It felt to her that she had no memory of the previous weeks and was thrust into the body of a stranger who was witnessing the selfish damage they had dealt to the ones they loved. Careful not to jostle the IV pumping the cool, life-saving saline into her veins, Rainbow shakily wrapped her hooves around Twilight's neck and offered her the best attempt at an embrace she could manage. Without looking up, the other mare pressed her cheek more firmly against Dash's and gently nuzzled her in a mutually comforting gesture. Once Twilight pulled away, Rainbow felt the very core of her soul effortlessly punctured by the gaze of the purple eyes assailing her. There was a piteously hopeful look to them that exacerbated the frigid guilt clawing its way through every nerve in her body. "What...what exactly happened?" Twilight partially opened her mouth to reply but soon paused to compose both herself and her answer. The potent anguish that had previously glazed her eyes with tears was now noticeably mutating into a burning wave of indignation and wrath. "What happened? You drank yourself into a coma again, that's what happened! I mean what were you thinking? I just...I don't......arghhh what the BUCK, Rainbow?! I don't even know if I should be mad at you right now, but I certainly am! You've been acting crazy ever since....well, you know." Rainbow stared diligently at the individual fibers woven together that made up the blanket on top of her that she so desperately wished to hide under. Twilight's vision was wholly centered on the mare before her, and never once faltered. "But that's not a reason to act like this! Dash, I can't begin to understand what exactly you're going through, I mean my greatest heartache was having to leave Canterlot and Princess Celestia behind so I could live my own life, but I know that there is nothing out there that could ever break a mare like you. There is no pain in all of Equestria that should be able to bring you down like this, to turn you into something you're not." She mulled those words over for a long period of silence. Her trust in others had been all but trashed and scattered, but once she finally looked up at Twilight she couldn't bring herself to call her a liar even if she wanted to. The sounds of various hospital staff approaching then fading away down the hallway threatened to disrupt the critical moment, but not one of the sets of hooves ever stopped to knock on the door; the mares were left in solitude. "Am I...weak?" Both the sudden presentation of the question, as well as the question itself, surprised Twilight. Yes, she had been seeing Rainbow break apart for quite a while now, but this seemed like a true admittance of defeat. Rainbow would never admit defeat. "I don't know Rainbow, are you?" Twilight countered. "Taking up the lovely hobby of alcoholism, hitting your friends, and nearly killing yourself in trying to drown your self-pity? Tell me, do those sound like a weak mare? Do those sound like Rainbow Dash, element of loyalty, future Wonderbolt, and once-good friend of mine?" Twilight's usage of the past-tense felt like another needle being driven into her body, one that sucked the warmth and comfort from her collapsing veins. "No." She replied, sounding far weaker than when she had first woken up. But the unicorn wasn't satisfied with the lack of conviction she was hearing. She let out a heavy, frustrated sigh and closed her eyes to compose herself. Perhaps she was being too hard on her. The mare before her clearly had lost all of her strength, and if it weren't for the strength of others having kept her alive earlier, Twilight wouldn't even be having this conversation. Perhaps she was asking her to move mountains with broken legs; she was in no condition to fight. Her face eased up at that thought, and she opened her eyes once more, this time showing only the concern her anger had been suppressing. She gingerly lifted her hoof up under Rainbow's chin. "Dash, look at me." Her friend obliged while giving her the most defeated of looks. "I'm sorry I'm being so hard on you when you clearly don't have the strength to put up with two ponies beating down on you. But you heard me say it before: this isn't who you are. Somewhere along the way, you lost sight of your true nature, but that's ok because just as you changed into this kind of mare, so too can you change back." Twilight's adamant speech of encouragement seemed to not penetrate its intended audience. Rainbow merely stared endlessly at the foot of her bed. Twilight's irritation began to resurface the longer she was not granted a reply, but right before she started to say something, the fragile voice finally spoke up. "She was everything, Twi'; she meant everything to me." For the first time in any memory of her friend, Twilight saw Dash begin cry. "Then how come she left due to you not paying enough attention or respect to her?" Twilight countered with noticeable frustration in her voice. "I-it's not that simple, ok?? I mean, I never didn't love her, because.....because she didn't ever change." Her temper flared and faded within a single breath. "I'm not so sure of that, Dash." "Huh, what do you mean?" "I mean, she seems to have lost something over the past year. There's no longer that mark of innocence in her eyes like there used to be; I guess she just looks....normal now." Rainbow considered her words intently before sighing in resignation. A guilty silence draped over the otherwise bright room, and both mares searched themselves for something to say. "What do I do?" "You fix what you've done, and move on; nothing more, nothing less." Twilight advised. "You start by going down that hallway once you're better and apologizing for giving Rarity a heart attack by making her think she'd have a deformed nose." Dash tried not to chuckle, but was met with stern eyes when she noticed Twilight heard her. "I will, Twi', I promise. Just....promise me you'll help? I know this is no one's fault but my own, but I only cracked like this 'cause I, well, I couldn't handle that feeling I got whenever I thought about what happened. I just felt so utterly...empty." Twilight nodded sagely in understanding, she had never personally experienced that feeling, but she was well-read enough to identify and sympathize with it, to a degree. "Rainbow," She replied with a drop of caution in her voice, "if you are truly ready and willing to move on, then I will be there every step of the way. But it won't just be me, because AJ, Pinkie, and even Rarity will guide you in helping yourself, we've always been here for that." Rainbow looked guilty and once again pawed at her bedding for a few moments before looking back into her friend's noticeably warmer eyes. She confirmed with herself that Twilight really must have meant everything she'd said. Whatever made her cast them off and not seek their help? Was it pride? Or, did she believe that they simply wouldn't help her after all she had done to Fluttershy? Seeing Twilight accept her now, after all of the far worse things she had done, showed her it had only been her damned pride. Perhaps fixing that would be the first step forward after making amends. Having a path now laid out in front of her, even one wrought with countless obstacles, relieved immense pressure from her heart and mind. She understood very well now why loyalty was a key element of harmony. Without a spoken word, she leaned forward and wrapped her friend in her forelegs, feeling loved for the first time in far too long. Rainbow never did walk down to Rarity's room, the unicorn was discharged shortly after Twilight had bolted out of there. When Rainbow was cleared to leave that evening, she and Twilight found that Rarity had left as soon as she could. Twilight couldn't blame her for wanting to escape, but also couldn't help but feel a bit of concern for her leaving without so much as checking on Rainbow after seeing her get wheeled in on a gurney. These thoughts appeared to afflict Rainbow as well, she was utterly silent as the pair made their way to the library. Twilight had insisted Rainbow stay with her for a while, believing that not having to go home to an empty house would serve her well. A fleeting surge of wind rolled in and out across the nocturnal landscape in unpredictable waves. The gust kicked up particulates of dirt and dust from the worn road beneath the two mares. A purple aura lit up the darkness around them as Twilight continually tried to fix her mane from the wind, but she eventually huffed in frustration as she gave up and let her hair blow into her eyes. Rainbow did her best to stifle a giggle. They soon arrived at Golden Oaks Library and Twilight flipped open her bags with a spark of magic, levitating out her house keys. With a click, the heavy door swung open and revealed the obscured interior lit up by nothing more than rays of moonlight shining on the spines of hundreds of books. Her first hoofsteps in, Rainbow took in the always welcome scent of Twilight's home. She may not be much of a reader herself, but she certainly enjoyed the smell of the aging pages of the countless tomes nestled on the shelves. "Well I'm sure you know the way to the guest room, but can I get you anything before we call it a night?" Twilight spoke up, her voice sounding distant against the tall wooden ceiling of her home. "No, I'm cool, thanks Twi'." Rainbow gave a reciprocated sleepy smile as they both walked up the creaking steps. The two said goodnight and turned their opposite ways upon climbing up to the landing. Rainbow pulled the tarnished brass door handle and pushed her way inside the sparsely decorated second bedroom. She stood still for a while, simply staring off into nothing as her mind worked over the day's events. The thoughts of what all she had done caused frigid pangs of guilt and embarrassment to course through her, but she couldn't be bothered by all of that right now. Rainbow Dash flopped down onto the small bed at the back of the room. The worn springs cried out when she landed on the mattress and wrapped herself in the heavy blue quilt atop it. With her wings unfurled, Dash laid on her back and covered her face with the pillow resting against the headboard. It's good to know Twilight is willing to forgive me, heck, even Rarity really may as well. But...will she ever give me a second chance? Do I even want one? I can't imagine things would ever be the same; some actions leave no option for going back. Rainbow removed the pillow smothering her face and looked pensively towards the slowly spinning ceiling fan above, lost in its hypnotic motions. She took this time to reflect on everything, every last little detail of how her relationship had really gone. The first instance she could recall was their first Hearth's Warming together. Rainbow and Fluttershy had separated from their friends early on in the night, leaving them to their party at Sugarcube Corner. Fluttershy loved to drop coy hints for Dash to show some physical intimacy, so as the faint winter winds blew across their coats she made an effort to shiver noticeably. Her marefriend had no delay in wrapping a wing around her and pulling her in as tight as she could. Fluttershy contently sighed as she lifted her head up to nuzzle the crook of Dash's neck. "So what are your plans for the morning? I was thinking maybe we could go for a walk in the snow that's supposed to fall tonight. I love finding all the little animal tracks, and the sound of all the little fillies and colts out playing and laughing." She spoke into her partner's ear as she continued leaning on her shoulder. Rainbow remained focused on the ground in front of her as they walked, the awkward expectant silence going unnoticed by her. After a few minutes, she finally took note of the unusual silence amidst a lull in her thoughts. Looking down, she saw Fluttershy staring up at her in anticipation. "Huh? O-oh right, well I was actually planning on just sleeping in and then practicing in the afternoon. I always love a good exercise in the cold, ya know?" "Uh um, yeah that's good." Fluttershy's gaze fell to the trail beneath her hooves, her ears flattening atop her head. "But that doesn't mean you can't spend the night at my house, right?" She said, perking right back up. "A-actually, I'd kinda rather sleep in my own bed. Don't get me wrong, I love spending the night with you, but I have a hard time sleeping at your place. All of the animals in there are kinda loud and honestly, well, smell a bit." Rainbow averted her eyes. "Oh, yeah, I understand. Well, how about we just go to your house tonight?" Her words coming off more as pleading than an honest question. "Listen 'Shy, I'm sorry but I just sleep better on my own, always have. I'm sorry." Rainbow scratched the back of her neck and became flushed in embarrassment. "No no, I'm sorry I pushed it, I shouldn't do that. Sorry." She gingerly pulled away from Dash's wing. "It's just, I haven't seen you much at all this week. I-I know you're busy and all, but I've really missed you." Rainbow pulled her swiftly back into her hold. "I know, and I'm sorry. It's just that I need to keep practicing my flying for a project I'm working on. Pair that with my work schedule, and there just aren't very many hours left in the day. You understand, right?" "Of course." Fluttershy replied near inaudibly. Rainbow perked back up once more. "Awesome! Well hey, I'm gonna go ahead and get home and into bed, I'll catch ya later, alright?" She separated from her marefriend and took off in a gallop before waiting for an answer. A short ways down the road, she spread out her wings and took flight, aiming towards her floating home nestled under the vibrant moon. Fluttershy stood alone on the deserted road, swallowing a dull pang of sadness as she walked herself home. "No......" Rainbow whispered to herself as she sat up on the bed. "Was I always that selfish?" She rubbed at her weary eyes and rested her head against a hoof as she thought back on their days together once more, determined to find something other than what she knew she would. On lonely nights, even while dating Rainbow, Fluttershy loved to go out on walks through the town center, just not as late as she used to. This particular evening, she was missing her partner terribly and decided to bathe in the ambient sounds of candle-light conversations and tavern tales as every other pony enjoyed their Friday night out. Most of the voices blended and faded away in her mind without a second thought, until she heard a familiar coarse laugh coming from the bar on the corner ahead. As she walked past, she gave a sidelong glance through the window. Fluttershy froze in place while her eyes went wide. Trying to draw as little attention to herself as possible, the yellow mare shouldered her way to a crowded round table near the front. "Rainbow? I thought you said you were going to visit your mom in Baltimare." Looking shocked but not stunned, Rainbow turned to face her distraught marefriend. "Uh ohhhhh, looks like the killjoy is here, amiright?" Her raspy voice rose against the raucous howls of the other tavern patrons. Fluttershy shrank back amidst the explosion of laughter around her as Rainbow came and laid a wing on her back. "W-what's going on? Did you miss your train? Or, is your mother alright, did she have to cancel your visit?" The small mare fought hard to make her inquisition heard, while being careful not to make it sound too accusatory. "Hahaha oh you weren't kidding, Dash! Pretty hard to believe you fly as well as you do with that ball and chain!" A teal pegasus stallion shouted before taking a long swig of his beer. He soon spit it out, however, as Rainbow jabbed his side with her hoof. "I never said anything like that! J-just that she doesn't appreciate a good time like we do, you know?" Fluttershy had become adept at reading Rainbow over the years, and she was clearly lying to her now. But, being a bit in shock at the whole situation, she replied with the first thing she could think of. "H-hey! I know how to have a good time!" She shot back, to the great amusement of the pegasi sitting expectantly at the table. "Um, remember that time we got ice cream on a Friday night instead of knitting like we'd originally planned? That was pretty, um, wild." She trailed off lamely. The whole establishment was now facing the table as it exploded into gleeful hysteria. Rainbow did her best to shrink below the table, having now become embarrassed at the presence of her marefriend. "Haha yeahhh, that was...pretty crazy 'Shy. Say, I needed to talk to you about something, so let's step outside for a minute." She pulled the mare off with her and out into the street before turning to face her. Before Rainbow could speak a word, Fluttershy leaned into her face and cried out. "What was that about?! Why are you still here, and why didn't you tell me you weren't going on your trip? I would've really wanted you to come with me to the Equestrian Audubon Society meeting earlier this evening, but you said you.....had a....trip to go on....." The pieces fell into place in her mind and her lips and eyes began quivering as she turned to run away. "Wait, Fluttershy!" No matter how far she dug back, the picture was always the same: Rainbow really did treat her lover and lifelong best friend as little more than a disposable accessory. Her mind was numb to the torrent of guilt and grief that tried in vain to coax out a new wave of pain; she'd spent all she had. Rising sluggishly to her hooves, Rainbow walked over to the little round window inset into the wood of the tree home. She flipped the aged brass latch and gave the portal a gentle push open. The air from outside carried into the room on a gentle breeze like washing tides, bringing a slight damp chill with it. Dash gazed longingly to the stars above, taking comfort in their innumerable count. With a sigh of resignation, she laid herself back down on her bed for the night. Rainbow took more than an hour to pass into sleep. The temporary episode of insomnia was characterized by empty yet heavy feelings of creeping guilt as she helplessly continued to reflect on her past actions. Yet, having faced these demons head on and having passed the emotional wall associated with them, she felt strangely better and almost solemnly optimistic. Whether I like it or not, life will continue to push me forward, away from both the good and bad things in life. It's kinda comforting to know I can't ever really be trapped that way. Rainbow nestled into the heavy quilts and settled into a tight fetal position as she continued to stare out the window, talking back in her mind to the whispering wind. I've made mistakes, but I have a lot of time left to fix them, I suppose. She sighed quietly. .....I'm really gonna miss the way things were with 'Shy. I-I just hope I can still have her as a friend. I mean, we had far more years together as friends than as marefriends, so that surely outweighs the past few, right? The gust from outside did not answer, it only brushed through the prismatic hairs atop her head with a gentle, caressing touch. Feeling more uncertain than she had before, Rainbow shut her eyes and took deep, controlled breaths that pushed her closer towards her dreams. The blue pegasus teetered on the edge of blissful unconsciousness and felt her constricting anxiety shed from her like snakeskin. Here, she was free to fly, and nothing in this realm could slow her heart and soul down as they danced in tandem under a perfect vibrant moon across ethereal skies. This was her vacation, this was her rest before the fight she had ahead of her, to rectify her mistakes and misaligned priorities. She would need it, there was much to be done.