//------------------------------// // Forced Tuition // Story: Sideboard of Harmony // by FanOfMostEverything //------------------------------// Rainbow Dash galloped through Ponyville, eyes wide and full of atavistic panic. This was not a person enjoying the feeling of the wind in her mane. This was a prey animal fleeing from a terrible fate. She paid no mind to the ponies who scattered in front of her. She spared no thought for those who panicked in her wake, wondering what could have so reduced one of Ponyville's great heroines. She poured all she was into escape, hooves throwing divots of hard-packed dirt out of the road as she reached her goal. Dash managed enough presence of mind to lead her impact into the door with a shoulder. She still slammed into it, but at least she didn't concuss herself. She scratched at the unyielding portal like a desperate cat. The door opened outwards, and she slipped through the gap before the pony on the other side could get a word out. Dash trotted through the building, pace slowing as the adrenaline drained out of her system. She was safe. She was clear. By the time she reached the door she was looking for, she even knocked. "Come in." Dash did, closing the door behind her, leaning against it, and panting for breath. Ditzy Doo sighed. "I should've seen this coming." Dash blinked. "You..." she panted, "you knew... this... would happen?" "Well, yeah. Here I am, thinking about how a desk job is kind of dull compared to being the town's whole post office, and in comes something interesting." Ditzy moved out from behind her desk and approached Dash. "I might as well have thought 'I am invincible! Nothing can stop me now!'" She sat beside the other pegasus. "Now, why you came in here all a-flutter, that I don't know. What seems to be the problem?" Dash looked away, her chest not heaving as much. "You know how a few weeks ago, I realized how reading wasn't entirely lame?" Ditzy smirked. "The whole town knows, Rainbow." "Well... yeah." Dash was still for a moment. "So anyway, after that, the other girls started giving books they thought I'd like. And one..." She gulped. "She's being really pushy." Ditzy considered this. After a moment, she asked, "Pinkie Pie?" Dash shook her head. "Nah, Pinkie's been cool. Though Twilight went a little nuts when she said she had books that hadn't been published yet. Something about paradoxes. Pinkie says she doesn't have any Daring Do books, so I don't see what the big deal is." "Rarity, then? I can't imagine her taste lines up much with yours." Dash nodded. "You're right there. It's all harness-rippers and junk. Totally not cool. Or hot. They're, like, lukewarm. But she hasn't been forcing them on me." "Okay, who then?" Dash slumped until her head was on the carpet. "Fluttershy?" Ditzy blinked a few times, then shook her head. "Seriously?" "Seriously." "Not only is she being at all pushy, she's terrifying you?" Dash bolted to her hooves, wings flared. "Hey, I am not terrified!" Ditzy quirked an eyebrow. "Dash, I heard you coming from a mile away. I think a little dust fell from the rafters." "Well, I couldn't fly. My contrail is awesome, but it's not exactly stealthy, and if I go slow enough that I don't leave rainbows, that's slower than galloping." Dash nodded at this flawless reasoning. Ditzy stood as well. "You're running from Fluttershy. Even if you do leave a contrail, you'll be several times faster than she is." Dash snorted. "Yeah, and where would I go? I can't just hide in a cloud. Shy's known me most of my life; she knows where I'd go, and she'd catch up. She may not be fast, but she's persistent; she could fly cross-country." "Which is why you came here." "Exactly." Dash patted Ditzy on the withers. "I needed somepony I could count on, but who I usually don't." "Gee, thanks." "No problem," Dash said with a grin. Ditzy rolled her eyes for some reason. "So, what horrors is Fluttershy inflicting upon you?" Dash heaved a sigh. "Okay, so you know that time she was helping me find a pet?" Dash tilted her head. "And, uh, you were in her henhouse for some reason?" Ditzy tilted her head towards a closet door. "I'm working on a shortcut between here and my attic. There have been some hiccups along the way." "Um..." Dash shrugged her wings. "Cool, I guess? Anyway, you know how at first, she was recommending all these cutesy, lame animals." "So her reading recommendations are going the same way?" "No." Dash shuddered. "Too far the other way." Ditzy tilted her head. "What, too awesome?" "Too horrifying!" Dash leaned in close. "Nature is terrifying, Ditzy Doo." "For example?" "Spiders that catch birds. Heck, spiders in general. I could've had a long, happy life without knowing how those things eat. And then there's the bugs that eat fish tongues and the wasps that lay their eggs in caterpillars and the dolphins! Sweet Celestia, the dolphins. I thought dolphins were like the Pinkie Pies of the ocean or something, but..." Dash shook her head. "If Pinkie ever ends up like that, we're all in big trouble." Ditzy quriked an eyebrow. "Didn't you fight a manticore once?" "That was before I found out what their venom did!" Ditzy gave her a flat look. "Dash, I was bitten by a spawnwrithe once. A cow-sized leech with six snakes for heads would've burst out of my abdomen if I hadn't been able to neutralize the magical poison, and at least that would've been faster than giving birth to Dinky. You're going to have to pardon me if I'm a bit less than sympathetic. Just tell Fluttershy you want her to tone it down." Dash shook her head. "It's not that easy. This... If you saw how Shy looks when she's reading these things, she's just so happy." A grin crept over her muzzle. "She's not worried, she's not afraid, she's not cringing on the inside. Everything she shows me, she thinks it's the coolest thing since the Immelmare turn." She drooped. "Telling her I don't like the books would be like kicking the world's saddest puppy." Ditzy sighed. "Look, you never seeing Fluttershy again isn't a viable solution here. You two are kind of essential to national security." "I know. That's why I came to you." "Uh..." Ditzy tilted her head. "I'm not following you." "Don't know if you noticed, but there aren't exactly a lot of Cloudsdalers in Ponyville. Out of everypony in town, you're the one who's known Shy the longest. Plus, you're..." Dash trailed off. "Well, yrbtrnmthhtcth." Ditzy leaned closer. "Say again?" "You're..." Dash gritted her teeth and groaned. "You're better than me at the whole 'tact' thing! There!" Ditzy patted her on the withers. "I know that took a lot, Dash." Dash looked away. "Shouldn't have. You're better than me at a lot of stuff." "And vice versa. I know I'd never be able to bear Loyalty." "Ah, come on." Dash nudged Ditzy with a wing. "You're super-loyal." Ditzy turned her gaze to the floor and muttered, "Yeah, nothing says loyalty like abandoning your grieving mother and waiting years after you return to reestablish contact with her." "Okay, this is officially becoming a pity party, and trust me, the last thing we want is a depressed Pinkie Pie." "How would Pinkie even..." Ditzy trailed off and shook her head. "I can't believe I'm even asking that question." "So, are you gonna help me with Fluttershy?" "Sure." Dash beamed. "Awesome." "So, when are we going to talk to her?" "Oh. Right. That." Dash coughed into a fetlock. "So, what's a spawnwrithe look like, anyway?" Ditzy paused before saying, "Well, hypothetically speaking, if I did show you, you would be quite repulsed by it. Especially when I mentioned that it embodies the concept of reproduction, at which point you would declare sex ruined for you now and forever. Then you would ask me to wipe your memory of the image." Dash gave her own flat stare. "None of that was hypothetical, was it?" Ditzy looked down and ruffled her wings. "No, no it wasn't. Sorry." "Well, I guess as long as you only do it with my permission..." Dash narrowed her eyes. "You have only ever done it with my permission, right?" "Of course! Unlike some mages I could name, I don't see memory erasure as the solution to all life's problems." Ditzy brought a hoof to her chin. "Though I do have an idea that may work for your current situation." Dash took a step back. "Yeah?" "It's..." Ditzy sucked a breath through her teeth. "Well, morally dubious. At best. I'll only do it if you say it's okay." Dash thought about it for all of two seconds. "Will it hurt Fluttershy's feelings?" Ditzy shook her head. "Not if we do it right." "Then it's okay." Dash knocked on the cottage door. Not too hard, but not so soft that Fluttershy couldn't hear it. There was an art to this, and Dash liked to think she was a master. A few moments later, Fluttershy emerged and smiled. "Oh. Hello, Rainbow Dash. I was looking for you earlier." "Oh, really?" Dash gave a completely natural and easygoing laugh. "How about that?" Fluttershy shied back a step. "Are you... feeling alright? I'd hate to bother you if you were feeling sick." "Well..." Fluttershy zipped next to Dash and felt her forehead. "Do you feel well enough to fly home? Oh, I know just the book to read that will make you feel all better. It's all about the most fascinating internal parasites and—" Dash backed up a bit and held up her forehooves. "Shy, I'm fine. I appreciate it, but really, A-OK." "Oh." Fluttershy beamed. "Wonderful. Though I think you'd really like that book anyway. Why don't you come in and we can read it together?" Dash opened her mouth, an explanation right on the tip of her tongue. Really. Seriously. It just happened come out as "That sounds ni—" Then she was cut off midword. Fluttershy blinked, staring at Dash, whose jaw was locked open. "Rainbow?" And a voice in Dash's mind said, Yeah, this is too painful to watch. Taking control now. Dash cleared her throat. "'Sorry, Shy. I'm sure you really love that book, but... well, I'm not quite as into parasites as you are." "Oh." Fluttershy folded into herself. "I see." "I'd still love to read something with you! And it's really cool that you love everything about nature equally. Just remember that some ponies..." Dash bit her lip. "Well, they don't." "Well..." Fluttershy thought for a moment "I did just get this fascinating book on the evolutionary history of griffins. I haven't looked through it much myself, but—" "Sounds perfect." Can you take it from here? Totally. Thanks, Ditzy. Dash felt the slight sense of pressure on the back of her head lift. Ditzy said that's how she'd know when the control spell was removed. With a smile, she said, "So, let's go read." Fluttershy returned the grin. "You know, I also have a book on tortoises I think you'd really enjoy." "Pfft. Please. Like there's anything I don't already know about tortoises." Primal Terror 3(bg)(bg)(bg) Enchantment As long as it's your turn, creatures you control have intimidate. As long as it's not your turn, creatures you control have deathtouch. Fluttershy, like nature itself, has hidden, horrifying depths.