//------------------------------// // 21 - Let's go Shopping! // Story: Clueless in Equestria // by David Silver //------------------------------// David emerged from the bathroom, pantsed. "It's trickier than you'd think getting pants on past hooves." He wobbled one of said hooves before setting it back on the ground, "And I'm pretty sure I felt them getting bigger while Twilight was working. Rough trotted over and gave David a looking over, pausing at his soft purple pendant, before pointing at the rest of his clothes. David moved past him and selected a shirt, soon presentable again, at least for the human's satisfaction. "I guess shoes are out. How do you deal with sharp things?" Rough perked an ear, "Well there are shoes for hooves out there, for ponies who work in dangerous places." "Really?" asked David, "We'll have to go shopping again. So, how do I look?" Rough trotted around David, then reached up, swatting his tail with a hoof, "The tail and the hooves are new, but the rest hides in those baggy pants mostly. You smell different." "I do?" David set a hand on his fuzzy hip, "What do I smell like?" Rough shrugged gently, sniffing at the air, "Like a stallion a bit more. I bet that's why Lyra was ready to chase you." David held up his hands, "Wasn't she already ready to do that? What's the change?" Rough smirked, "From you as a pony? Very little, but versus you as a human? Now you have the smell and the fingers. I was a little surprised she was lured away before she could propose." David hiked a brow as he headed for the door, pulling it open, "You're going to have to explain that to me, how it all works. I'm stuck here for the long haul, even if I do find some crazy portal back to Earth. They wouldn't take too kindly to a crazy half-pony showing up." Rough trotted along after David, "Their loss. I get to keep you. The stand's done for the weekend, what did you want to do?" "Do you have a schedule?" asked David, "Let's go get one." They quickly rode the elevator back to the convention level and began to navigate the eager, smiling, crowd. A small filly stopped them, standing in front of them and gaping up at David. "Well you're too adorable to be anything but cute," said David, crouching on his new legs to be closer to the filly's level, "What's your name?" "Cloud Buster," reported the little pegasus, flapping her wee tiny wings in a buzz. "What's your name?" She thrust a hoof at David in turn. Rough Draft answered quickly, "This, is David, the, uh, mostly human." Cloud Buster pointed down at David's hooves, then up at his face, "I think your suit's not on right?" David shook his head, "It's not a suit. I'm a satyr, a pony satyr. Half human, half pony." Cloud didn't look entirely convinced. She advanced on him and reached out, poking his hooves, then his legs through his pants, giving his tail a swat much like Rough did before she was reared up, poking him in the belly, chest, and then his face. David stayed still patiently until she settled back down, "See, no costume." Cloud clopped her forehooves together, "That's pretty cool! I haveta go, mom's calling for me." Soon she vanished into the crowd. As David rose to his hooves, Rough nudged into him, "You're good with foals." "Nah," countered David, "Just patient with them. They're too cute to get angry at for long, like Lyra." Rough rolled his eyes and began forward, "She does remind me of a foal in a lot of ways. A cute, horribly dangerous, foal." They reached the registration table, where schedules were stacked in a pile. David snatched one and flipped open the little brochure. After glancing up at the clock, he found the current time, "They're just starting a 'Writing your OC' panel, want to mess with them?" Rough burst into a loud fit of giggles, "That's almost too mean, to walk into there with my OC." "Even if I don't look like your OC anymore?" asked David. Rough waved a hoof dismissively, "You're still David. I'll just have to ask her to draw you as your new self. Oh look," He pointed at the brochure, "They're doing bipeds through the history of Equestria. You could learn something." David did not look entirely convinced, but started for the named room, "Do you know who's running it?" "Me?" asked Rough, "Nah. I never keep track of the panels. I'm usually too busy running my stall to enjoy panels." "Same here," echoed David, reaching to pet Rough and getting a different set of ears. He looked down to see Lyra had somehow arrived and placed herself to get pettings. "Uh, hey Lyra." Rough bumped against her, getting back into his spot to receive ear scritches. Lyra just grinned, "You're looking a lot better now, David. Where are you two headed to?" "We," began Rough, "Are headed to the bipeds through history panel." David nodded in agreement, "If I'm going to be here forever, learning a little background seems like a good idea." "Of pfft," said Lyra, "I can tell you all about that. Let's do something you can only do at the con." Rough turned to face Lyra, "Like what?" Bon Bon emerged from the crowd, asking, "Yes, Lyra, like what?" With Bon Bon giving her a severe look, her first idea died a miserable death. She lifted the schedule from David's fingers with a glow of her horn and looked it over, "They're doing a trot trot revolution tournament in the game room, celebrity signings are still going on..." she glanced up at David, not seeing any huge interest, she went on, "I heard some ponies saying they were going to have a party by the pool. We could have a little fun. You can read whenever." Rough shook himself out before turning to face the general direction of the pool, "It's a floor up from here." He pointed up where the balcony could be seen, "She's not wrong. I have plenty of books you can read at home." David suddenly snapped his fingers, a sound that drew the attention of quite a few surprised ponies. "Oh, sorry." he murmured, red with embarrassment. Once the crowd resumed its activities, he looked to his allies, "Why not shopping?" "Shopping?" asked Bon Bon, "I thought we were looking for something to do at the convention." "I am. I meant here, with the vendors. Conventions have the craziest stuff, and I was definitely never at a pony vendor's hall before. I want to see what they sell here, on the other side of the mirror," explained David, looking eager. Rough smiled, "If that's what you want to do, OK. I don't usually find much, but I'm not a crazy creature from another world." He bumped David gently, "Let's get some souvenirs." Soon all four were in the vendor hall. There were many booths set up to create a circle around the room, with booths on the inside and outside of the circle for attendees to wander past from left to right curve. The first stand was offering big foam fingers, like the #1 fingers David knew from his home world, but they didn't have #1 written on them. Lyra giggled at them as Bon Bon rolled her eyes, "Lyra already has three of those." David picked one up and turned it over. The inside was big enough for a hoof to stick into, or a hand. He slipped a hand into it and waved it at Lyra, making her fall over in her giggles. David set the hand back where it came from and leaned in, looking over the little keychains of various bipeds, most done up to be cute. "Nice spell," said the mare behind the booth, "That must have cost a lot." "Huh?" asked David, looking up at her. She was a unicorn. Her horn glowed soft purple as she straightened things on her stand, "Turning into a half biped like that." She raised a hoof to point at the purple sphere on David's neck, "And that heart crystal. I never saw one so perfect before. Are you rich?" Rough pushed ahead, "I covered him. You can't even tell he's a pony, can you?" She smiled brightly, "It's amazing. You're one lucky pony." She flicked a small keychain with a picture of a human doing a big grinning double thumbs up at David, "Here." Rough Draft paid her despite her not asking for any while David looked over the little charm, "Did you draw this?" "I did," she said proudly, "I made everything here. Enjoy the con!" When they had stepped away from her, David looked to Rough, "Why did you say that?" Rough shrugged, "Felt right. Think about it. Ponies are willing to accept you as one of their own." David considered that as he hooked the little charm onto a belt hoop, "Yea... That is nice. But am I a pony?" "Close enough?" ventured Lyra, "Except the good parts." She reached up and batted at one of David's hands with a hoof. "You plan to do it officially, don't you?" asked Rough, "Luna said you had to file for citizenship. That makes you a pony, at least on paper." Bon Bon snorted softly, "You talked to the Luna, and Twilight Sparkle? You two are blessed, or cursed. I'm still trying to figure out which one it is." "Blessed, definitely," said David with a smile, "Or I wouldn't have run into you." Bon Bon was silenced with the compliment, blushing and looking away as Lyra giggled with delight at the exchange. Rough Draft poked David on the hip, "Before we kill Bon Bon with kindness, let's look at the next booth." The next seemed to be overwhelmed with pillows and cushions of various sorts. They had dragons and minotaurs and even some more exotic bipeds like elfin looking humans on them. David looked at them with amusement, but wandered past them without too much interest. The booth after that was manned by a stallion covered in various colored ink splatters much in the same way Rough was typically covered in black. The earth pony smiled at them brightly, but looked at Rough in particular, "Rough! How's business?" "Sold out!" said Rough excitedly, "You?" "What, really? That's fantastic! Things are good," He gestured with his nose at the drawings on his table, "I got a few commissions I'll work on after the hall closes, and the prints are popular. Who're your friends?" He leaned a bit, "Is that Lyra? You're here every year." Lyra waved a hoof, "Oh, you know, they can't keep me away." They shared a soft laugh before his eyes moved to David, then back at Rough, then back at David. "So..." said the artist. "Yea," agreed Rough with a grin. The artist crossed his arm, "So how do I get my own?" Rough shook his head, "No idea, but I'll share." Soon David and the artist were shaking hands and hooves. "You have to let me draw you," begged the artist, "And I want to see you without all the clothes. Where does the human stop and the pony start? Can I see?" David snorted softly, "Uh, no. I'm a bit shy about, you know, being naked?" The vendor shrugged, "I'm naked." This was mostly true, if his multicolored hat wasn't counted. "I am also naked," sang Lyra like it was a lewd joke. Bon Bon softly bonked her, "Most ponies are naked, Lyra. Don't make it sound weird." "It's ok," said the artist, "Just come by my room after the hall closes. I'm in room 1215." "You don't mind if I bring Rough do you?" asked David. He shrugged, "Sure, make it a stallion party! Oh! My name's Ink Splot."