//------------------------------// // I meet Bella from Twilight // Story: Hair // by SwordOfWieldThe3rd //------------------------------// Having a dream, that you are stuck inside space with a rainbow and sky colored horse is weird. The pain in my anus was only making this dream all the weirder... and worried me to what possibly was happening to my corporeal self. Having two dreams in one night? Uncommon. Now, how does this tie in with my story? Because all of these rarities were happening to me. Now, the first symptom wasn't so bad, it was the second one that got me. For all I know I'd been captured by bandits and they're doing some 'Not so friendly stuff' to me. As for the third, two dreams in one night has never happened to me. At least I was assuming it was a dream happening. Thats why I am fine saying I was scared shitless throughout this whole experience. Thanks Obama Care. But seriously, this wasn't an every day occurrence, thus I was just trying not to ask too many questions about the dream at all. So much to that point that I didn't even question why I had been able to feel everything perfectly, or why everything had been in so much detail. I'm an idiot. A scared, cowardly, bad attention spanned idiot. "Um... help?" I called out into whatever unforeseen darkness my mind had made for me. Shit... that sounds really emo. Emo stuff aside, I think that for you to get a better view of where in the pits of Hell I was. It was a small room, probably about the size of a kids bedroom. Then, imagine there's a bed somewhere in that room, pushed off to the side against a wall. There was nothing else around except for a lightbulb and a bunch of gray, boring as crap walls. Now, here's the kicker, I was half naked, chained up to the bed, the bed had no mattress, and the light bulb seemed to be flickering. Is this some kind of new weird fetish? No, no way. I am not that weird. "Hm... subject A seems to be male, possibly hermaphrodite. This theory is assumed because of possible nipples. Subject seems to be able to eat both meat, and vegetables, courtesy of Colgate. Lyra concludes it to be human, if slightly off. May be a pony using a spell gone wrong. That could explain the reason why subject has possible nipples and testicles at once. Subject seems to have originally had a piece clothing on the top. Could suggest subject was either advanced enough to make clothes or was given them by his/her mate/friend/acquaintance/master. Subject seems prone to sharp objects and needles" ... was that voice talking about me? Because if so, that bitch is going to die!!! No-one. And I mean it! No. One! Is calling me a hermaphrodite, especially someone's servant! Why are you making my dream so horrible mind! "Subject check 23. It has been 11 hours, 22 minutes. Rainbow Dash still will not wake, along with subject. Subjects tail still appears to be genuine and will be considered that until proven wrong" 11 hours and 22 minutes? Rainbow Dash? Wasn't that what Skittles, the rainbow winged horse was named, before I eloquently bestowed a new title upon her? And did she say Tail? I don't feel any... thing... back there... shit. I did indeed feel something in my pants. Well, two something's but one of them was new and protruding from the top of my buttock. Definitely feels furry. Damn it mind. Creak I looked over at the source of the noise to see the door slowly opening inward to reveal yet another horse, making it so that I had two horses in just one nights dream. She was... hard to explain. The most prominent thing was a large horn protruding from its forehead. Its fur was a lavender purple, hair was a... magenta, purple I think? There was also a pinkish stripe through her hair followed with the same color pattern as her tail. She had what looked to be... an ass tattoo? It was a star-like shape with, you guessed it! Purple coloring! "Subject seems to be awake and aware and is observing its surroundings." She noted writing it down on... how is she writing that down? I looked at the feather she was using to write very carefully. Subject appears to be too lazy to write using physical means and has resorted to either invisible wires, or the more likely reason, necromancy. Yeah, necromancy is it. "Test one... reactions to stimuli" She announced, using her invisible wire/necromancy and writing it down on her note page with a final swish. Did she say... stimuli? Oh Hell!! Naw!!! Using my quick wits I thought of the most prominent quote that fit my situation I could think of. "I used to be an adventure like you... then I took an arrow to the knee" She looked at me like a... a pony that had a face... I don't know any face expressions that horses make, sorry. Anyway, as she looked at me with that... face... thing... I started trying to break the restraints. Come on dream hero powers! Don't fail me now! Crack Success! I jumped out of the seat, and ran into the door. Snap Now this dream is getting somewhere! "Spike lock the doors!" The horse yelled out, trying to contact a friend. Probably another necromancer friend of hers. Click "You've forced me to resort to my biggest power... Lucid dreaming!" I yelled at her. It was official, what started out as a short, weird, maybe fetish dream, had turned into what I assumed would become an all out lucid dreaming battle dreaming. Good job brain. I'm not as bored now. "Anyway I- what quote did I use? Hm... did I really just use a Skyrim quote? That one nonetheless? You know what, who car-" "I got you!" The purple pony exclaimed as she picked me up with the wires. Wait... Where are the wires? Does that mean she really is a necromancer?! I, obviously, couldn't move, and looked like I was in an invisible air coffin. "Does that mean this is a Harry Potter dream?" I voiced aloud to myself as I saw the purple horse whip out her notepad "Amazing... subject seems aware of its surrounding and is making claims of dreaming. Could be dilluisoned. That could also explain violent behavior" At this point she seemed to be smiling from ear to ear, quite literally. "Subject may be... A new... Intelligent!! Species!!! Oh I can't hold it in anymore! This is amazing! Spike! Get down here!" She yelled out, calling down her other evil necromancer friend. "What is it Twilight?" A child like, but boyish sounding voice said. I heard footsteps coming down the stairs and saw... a giant lizard. A GIANT freakin lizard. A giant, walking, LIZARD. He was purple and green with a, lizard thingy... you know, the weird things that look like a Mohawk? Whatever, he had one of those going down his back along with claws and a long tail. "So, why did you ask me to lock the doors?" The lizard thing asked Twilight, who has now been dubbed Bella from the Twilight series for lack of better nickname. "No time for that Spike! I need to send a letter to princess Celestia!" Bella said back. "Okay what do you want me to write?" Responded Spike from... um... I got nothing. Sorry world, no nickname this time. Dear Princess Celestia, I have recently found a creature outside of my friend Rainbow Dash's house. The peculiar thing about the creature is that it bears Rainbow Dash's tail and it appeared to wear clothing on all parts of its body. When it woke up it made a peculiar comment about knees and arrows and adventures then broke out of the chains I had it in in case it was dangerous. It broke down my door then ran out and started talking to itself. I don't know whether it was copying things out of other ponies mouths or if it is actually sentient though. I have dubbed it Subject A until it is given a name. I also still don't know whether it is a new species or an old one but I have never come across it in one of my books. Please respond when you have time. From your faithful student,                                                                                                                                                 Twilight Sparkle As the dragon wrote down the words Bella said without question Slave much? He then proceeded to bring it up to his mouth and blew it... on... fire... what? The weird thing was instead of the letter crumbling to the ground into ash it sort of, disappeared. "Necromancer..." I muttered under my breath. "So, can it really speak?" Spike the non nicknamed lizard said. "Well, it can at least copy phrases that it hears. When it broke out it said some phrase about arrows to the knees and adventuring then broke out. It's much stronger than I thought." Bella responded, answering NNL (Non-nicknamed Lizard). "So how are we going to keep it contained?" He asked her, not realizing nothing could keep me contained. "Well, first we need to see if it can talk. Can-you-under-stand-me?" Bella said, drawing out every word. "No. I can't understand a word you're saying." I retorted back at her. She pulled back out her note page with her evil necromancy and started writing again. "Subject also appears to have a side of sarcasm. Could show subject was not a pet. I still cannot get a straight answer that shows subject is sentient."  She wrote down, feeling the need to dialogue everything. "Current place, locked in a basement. Current situation, locked in dream state. Current subject, named subject A, appears to be calling me subject A. It appears to be horse like and can wield different types of necromancy. Its accomplice is almost as incompetent as it is. Accomplice shall be dubbed, subject B. Subject B appears to be a lizard like, lizard thing. May also be able to wield necromancy" I said, conjuring my invisible fake notebook with necromancy. "I hope I'll wake up soon" I muttered under my breath. "Twilight, did that thing just talk?" NNL asked Bella. "I think it did. Did it just call us... 'Subjects?'" Bella said, answering NNL's question. "I think it did. Is that bad? That sounds bad... oh no.... what if it's secretly an... an, ALIEN!!! Twilight! Get princess Celestia! AHHHHH!" NNL screamed as he ran upstairs "Of course it's an not an alien Spike, it may just be an accidental summon. I'm interested about the necromancy thing though. Necromancy is a forbidden art ever since we learned that instead of weakening a person it took out their soul and sent it to the Soul Cairn," Bella said. Soul Cairn? Is this like, Skyrim with horses? That would be cool. Weird, but cool. And if that not necromancy then it has to be... what was that school of magic called that had a telekinesis spell? I think it was alteration. "-And that how foals and fillies are made," Bella said at the tail end of her sentence. "What?" I asked, perplexed as to why she was explaining sex to me. Good thing I wasn't listening to that. I'd rather not know horse mating habits unless it will save my life. "I was explaining why you can't possibly be here, unless you were a new species that is undiscovered. So, am I right?" The purple (And also pink) horse asked me. "Three things. One, 'Why U Do Dis MIND!' two, how does explaining how I can't be real lead into the sex talk? Three... Silence!!!" I roared at her, making her literally back up in fear. Her sudden moment of shock caused her to drop the spell, allowing me to get out of her magic spell. "Freedom!" I yelled, running out of the small, dank basement up into a... Library? Seriously? Who has a testing facility in a library? "TWILIGHT!" The large, lizard thing yelled. Calling down to her. Oh crap, the lizard thing will give away my position after I leave! Ill have to take him with me. Damnit.  Well, at least after that I just need to find another one of the holds and I'm home free! "Hey! NNL!" Look at that conveyant distraction for at least 5 seconds!" I said pointing towards a window. He actually looked at it. He looked over at the window, with his hand to his chin as if thinking what was going to be over there. "I don't see a convenient distraction that will take my attention for at least 5 seconds, where-" Before he could finish talking about how he couldn't find any convenient distractions (Seriously? Dumb much?) "Don't worry kid, where I'm taking you well make lots of money, and, if my suspicions are correct, we can smoke some marijuana after we gain a reputation as good thiefs," I said, oblivious to the look on the dragons face. Which, if I had looked, was the kind of face that said, plain and simple 'Im. Screwed.' I did, after about five minutes of running finally look behind me. In the far distance I saw a shitload of pitchforks and torches running. Just another reason why the Twilight series is the worse thing ever (The movies and books, not the horse. Although the horse at this moment sucks too). "Forest! No ones finding me in there! Come on NNL! We have some running to do!" I said, clutching the lizard tightly while running into the dense looking place. "HEEEELLLPPPPP MMMMMEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!" He screamed, trying to yell at the villagers. Maybe if I had left him it would have been a better idea. Maybe he wouldn't have noticed where I was going and I wouldn't have to deal with this. "Shut up lizard! Because of you and Bella, I don't even know whether or not I want to have dreams anymore. My dreams are aly always kinda stupidly designed but this, this takes the cake!" I screamed at the top of my lungs. Giving my mind a mental middle finger. "Oh! Did you say cake! I love cake! But triple decker double fudge chocolates my favorite. Oh, hi Spike! Anyway, do you like cupcakes? Those are my favorite! Hey, are you okay? You look sad. Do you need help?" A voice said, at a nearly incompetent babble, but slow enough so that it didn't sound like someone was just stringing words together. I looked over at the source of the voice to find a pink, fluffy, adorable horse, with, what looked to be actual sympathy in her eyes. And, I picked her up, turned around, and threw her at the incoming mob of horses. Quick Authors Intevention: I can only assume it looked something like this, for you visual thinkers Why this is a thing, I don't know. But thanks anyway google. Authors Intervention ends here: I turned back around and made a break for it into the forest. It was at that moment I started to feel dizzy. I heard the mob right behind me but I kept on stumbling, until I fell over, flat onto NNL. "Sorry buddy," I said to the lizard. "TWILIGHT! ANYPONY! HELP!" He screamed in my ear. "Spike I'm here! Don't worry!" The malicious ball of purple fuzz and terribleness said as it came walked into my line of sight. "Twilight! Wait what's happening?" He exclaimed, alarmed at the sudden intrusion of light. Im waking up! "Twilight?" He questioned alarmingly at her. "I... I can't grab a hold of you with my spell!" She screamed, with a single tear going down her face... thing... whatever it was. Really brain? What kind of cliche attempt at sad shit was that? I then closed my eyes. Intent on waking up, away from further emo dreams. "Ugh! My head!" I muttered, as I slowly regained consciousness. "Oliver? What happened?" I heard Jim ask, sounding slightly frightened. I opened my eyes and saw my whole room was messed up. And to make things worse, there was a green and purple colored lizard next to me. "What the fu-"