Fluttershy stared cautiously at the scroll before her. It had materialized from thin air just moments ago, right in front of her face. She couldn't recognize the seal, but it looked like it was probably from some royal organization in Canterlot. She decided she should probably open it.
Eventually.
Any minute now.
It's not as though anypony in Canterlot had any reason to... wait... was it the flora of questionable legality? Equestria had... intricate importation laws, but surely those pretty flowers she had bought a few months ago wouldn't have attracted attention?
Oh no! She couldn't think of anything worse than being arrested by the secret royal police! She didn't care what Twilight said! Canterlot would be silly to not have secret police! The reason nopony has heard of them is because they are secret! It's right there in the name!
Trying not to hyperventilate, she decided to open the scroll and read it. She really hoped it wasn't as bad as she thought.
~~~
Fluttershy,
Upon recommendation by Princess Luna Revenio, Mage Twilight Sparkle, Neophyte Trixie, and Archmage Pinkie Pie, (this last entry was crossed out with a scribbled note saying "who wrote this?") You have been selected for assisting one of our patients via our new "Pen Pals" supplementary treatment method. Our patient will write letters to you, and you will be expected to respond. Failure to respond to a letter within two days will be interpreted as opting out of the program, and you will face no penalties.
This particular patient will be going by the pseudonym "Epona". The patient will only know their pen pals by the name of "Friend". It is recommended that you do not divulge your real name to them, but it is not prohibited. All letters will be screened by our staff. You will find the first correspondence from "Epona" attached to this scroll.
One more note: This pony is a rather unique psychological case. They may say things that sound strange, unbelievable, or impossible. It is recommended that you humor them. Do not attempt to dissuade them from anything that sounds like fantasy. We will be handling that with other psychological treatments. Your only goal is to provide friendship and an outlet for them.
Have a good day!
~~~
Nope. It was even worse. This must have been what Princess Luna was talking about the other night. She opened the second scroll and started reading.
~~~
Hello "Friend",
This charade is apparently meant to help me recover. No doubt they've told you what you need to hear in order to disbelieve anything odd I might say. I'm going to take this opportunity to rant at length about language. An "acquaintance" of mine hated wordplay, you know. He was pretty odd, in my opinion. My kind of people generally love wordplay. You know, we don't even have a lot of native words related to language. How paradoxical. I learned that it is possible to be what is called a linguist here. How I wish I could have been one of those.
It's getting rather difficult to continue this discussion without letting it slip that "oops, I'm actually not a pony and from an entirely different culture", so I'm just going to leave that there. (edit: you might as well humor the patient here. We won't reveal the actual details of the patient's species etc. for confidentiality reasons.) I might also let slip that I'm an alien. Oh, and I was involved in an attempt to (edit: this segment has been removed for one or more of the following reasons: security/irrelevance/impeding treatment/personal request). No doubt this will be a great opportunity to learn the limits of what I can reveal.
At any rate, I've quickly taken a shining to many of your people's idioms and conversational styles. Dry, direct sarcasm is refreshingly simple compared to some of what I've seen, and I've tried adopting it. I have a question for you, "Friend". If you've actually read along this far, through my meandering prose, this "relationship" might be worth pursuing. At the very least it will combat my boredom. My question is thus: what type of pony are you?
"Epona"
~~~
Fluttershy sighed. Why was she, of all ponies, getting so many requests for social interaction. She was about as far from an expert as one could be. Still, she couldn't turn down a pony in need. Even if they weren't actually a pony. Or likely insane. She didn't get a name from the organization, but she assumed by the language and by the writing of the "patient" that it was related to treating mental health issues.
"Epona" seemed indescribably bored. She also seemed very distrustful of her caretakers. And yet, she seemed to be offering Fluttershy some level of trust, in exchange for someone to talk to. Fluttershy figured that she couldn't say no to that, at least not yet. She could always stop if this became troublesome. She set to writing a reply right away.
Hello Epona,
To answer your question, I am a pegasus. I am curious why you wanted to know, if you don't mind telling me.
I am surprised to hear that you are an alien. If you would like to tell me more about that, I would be willing to listen.
I get the feeling that you aren't very happy with your caretakers at the moment. I am sorry if that is the case, but I am sure that they are only trying to help you. If you don't mind, I would like to hear more about why you are under their care.
Also, not to sound rude, since you pointed it out yourself, but I do hope that your future letters are less unfocused.
Your Friend
It felt odd to sign a letter without her name, but she decided she might as well follow the first letter's advice. It struck her that she didn't know how to send the letter back. She turned over the first letter and saw a scribbled note.
Who's the foal that drafted this letter? This is hardly proper formatting, and you left out tons of info! When you finalize this, include the instructions to relay the responses through Twilight Sparkle. They're friends, right? And for the love of Celestia, don't transcribe these notes like last time! They aren't supposed to be on the final draft.
Oh. She was supposed to give it to Twilight. Well, they were supposed to meet in an hour anyway, so she decided to wait until then. Hopefully Twilight would know more about this whole ordeal.