//------------------------------//
// Steepleplanechase 
// Story: Elementals of Harmony 
// by FanOfMostEverything 
//------------------------------//

Over the course of the morning, there had been shouts, booming laughter, thunderous footfalls, thunderous thunder, and the blood-chilling battlecry of a supercharged fanfilly. While Ponyville emitted odd sounds at semi-regular intervals, very few of them had this level of persistence, and none of them had this specific blend of noises. As such, it should come as no surprise that an increasing number of ponies were being awakened by this unprecedented manner of cacophony, nor that many of them were milling about outside trying to figure out what in Celestia's name was causing all of it.

Obviously, the more ponies that did this and the longer they spent doing so, the greater the odds that somepony was going to get hurt. Luna, being a mare of reason and intellect, had deduced this long before it had become an issue. As such, she surveyed the village from the roof of the town hall until the number of bystanders had reached a satisfactory level.

Once that was the case, the night princess took flight above the centrally located administrative building, then cast a brief magical shadow over the area to bring everypony's attention to the sky. Just in case some residents hadn't gotten the hint, she cleared her throat while using the Official Royal Canterlot Voice. Satisfied that every eye was on her, she began a proclamation in the same. "ATTENTION, CITIZENS OF PONYVILLE! THIS IS THINE PRINCESS, LUNA DIANA HECATE REGINA NOX ALICOR! REST ASSURED THAT THE STRANGE AND PECULIAR ENTITIES WITHIN THINE VILLAGE ARE BEING BROUGHT TO HEEL BY THINE OWN DITZY DOO! FEAR NOT, GOOD PONIES, FOR SHE HAS EVERYTHING UNDER CONTROL! REMAIN WITHIN THINE HOMES AND ALL SHALL BE WELL SHORTLY! THAT IS ALL!"

As is often the case with the Royal Canterlot Voice nowadays, the listeners retained more about the volume of the message than its contents. However, one datum did manage to stick.

"Our lives depend on Derpy Hooves?"

"We're doomed!"

"Scream and run in circles! It's our only chance!"

Ditzy managed a double facehoof. She swore to never buy flowers again.

Luna, meanwhile, contemplated an experiment: When exposed to repeated blunt trauma, what would break first: her skull or the roof of the building?

Zannoria Karatine Golden-Harvest the Fifth, or Carrot Top, as she preferred to be called, was many things. Cordial business rival of Sweet Apple Acres. Long-suffering refrigerator refiller. Potential heiress to a multimillion bit corporate empire. And, in all matters involving Ditzy Doo, generous provider of benefit of the doubt. Thus, after Luna's decree, Carrot Top did not panic at the news that her fate apparently rested in her friend's hooves. Instead, she decided to track down said friend and get the details straight from the pony's mouth.

"Um, excuse me? Carrot Top?"

...Eventually. "Good morning, Fluttershhhhh..." The earth pony trailed off as she gawked at the soft spoken pegasus's steed.

"Oh dear, I'm terribly sorry. I didn't mean to startle you, and I'm sure Eric didn't mean to either." The massive larva, evidently named Eric, nodded enthusiastically.

The orange-maned mare collected herself. "It's okay. Just took me by surprise." She moved the subject to one less hostile to her sanity. "I was actually hoping I'd see you, Fluttershy."

"Bunny problems again?"

"Not lately. Have you seen Ditzy Doo at all today?"

The pink-maned pony shook her head. "Sorry. We only just got into town. I'll be sure to tell her you're looking for her if I see her."

Carrot Top smiled gratefully. "Thanks. I'll look on my own, too. I want to get to the bottom of this 'strange and peculiar ...entity' ...business." Once again, she stared at the giant worm.

The kindness elemental stared back. A beat later, it licked her face and made a delighted sound.

"Aww, he likes you!"

The earth pony could feel the massive cowlick (wormlick?) marring her manestyle. Patience honed from years of friendship with Ditzy Doo came to the fore. "I'm so glad."

Fluttershy gave a nervous grin. "I suppose we should be going. Good luck with finding Ditzy!"

Carrot Top gave a mild grin. "Thanks, but I've got a date with a brush first. Have a nice day, Fluttershy! And, um, Eric."

Trixie peeked through a shrub opposite the Carousel Boutique. Her eyes narrowed as she considered her target. After the fiasco that was her last visit to Ponyville, whoever ran this place would would undoubtedly exercise the right to refuse service. At least, if it was Trixie at the door. That was where one of the unicorn's newest spells came in.

Trixie closed her eyes and lit her horn as she began to invoke the magic. Mystic vapor billowed about her, condensing into an illusion. She'd be disguised as one pony selected at random from the population of the entire town. Surely local businesses would think nothing was amiss.

So went the theory, at least. When the smoke cleared and the showmare examined her new mint green coat, a darkly whispered "You" made itself known.

Swallowing nervously, Trixie pulled her muzzle out of the bush. Turning to face the speaker, the disguised unicorn beheld the unicorn who was her disguise. "Well," said Trixie, "this is awkward."

Lyra snarled and reared up, entering a pose that implied both imminent pain and uncanny balance. "I don't want any trouble," she growled in a tone that expressed just the opposite.

"What a coincidence," answered the nervous showmare, "neither do I." She could feel the edge of panic in her voice, the shot of adrenaline turning her attempt at a smile into a barring of teeth.

The poised anthropophile gave a derisive snort. "Tell it to Queen Doppelpopolous."

Before she could even ask "Who?", Trixie dived to one side to dodge a hoof that would've likely caved in her skull. Idly, she noticed a golden glow about the appendage, with a matching luminance playing over the other pony's horn. On a more relevant note, she found that she'd dived closer to the Boutique's door. She scrambled towards it, only to be...

She really didn't have a good sense of what was going on. For a moment, she thought the other mare was lifting her telekinetically, but there was no visible aura, and the force was concentrated at two points along her spine.

Lyra, meanwhile, had a firm grasp on the situation in a number of senses. She'd successfully cast the "hooves to hands" spell, she was holding and lifting something with said hands, and her worries about dopplegangers had been validated. "You wanna knock?" she quipped, "Let's knock!" With that, she used her duplicate's face as a battering ram. She got in two good swings before the door opened, sending both sprawling inside.

"Yes, yes, yes, what is it?" demanded Rarity. "The door was unlocked, you ruffian, and... Lyra? Is that you?" The fashionista looked from unicorn to the other. "Or is that you?"

The handed mare sprang to her feet, effortlessly bipedal. She pointed an accusing finger at her double. "I told you! I told you all! They walk among us, stealing our forms!"

"Yes, I suppose that is you, dear." The designer knelt next to the improvised siege weapon. "Are you alright? It seems that those fingers have gone to her head."

"Th' Great an' Powerful Audience'd like t' thank ya all. Y've been a wonnerful Trixie."

Rarity blinked in surprise, then focused her magic for a moment. The illusion sublimated, leaving a puff of smoke and a dazed blue mare. "Trixie! Why, I never thought she'd show her face in Ponyville again!" She considered this for a moment. "Hmm. Then again, I suppose she hadn't up to now."

Something about this filtered through the manual euphoria flooding Lyra's brain. "Since when could you do that?"

"What, dispel illusions?"

"Yeah!"

Rarity demurred. "Oh, it's just a little trick I picked up today. In fact, so did you."

Before Lyra could ask the obvious question, the crystal made contact with her horn.

As with any foal, Dinky's obedience of a given parental order was largely unpredictable. However, this was a special case. After all, this was her part in saving Ponyville from monsters that made even the Princesses worried! The filly certainly didn't want the destruction of her hometown on her conscience.

Unfortunately, her horn seemed to have not gotten the memo. While the young unicorn was still a few minutes' trot from Carrot Top's home, she felt what she could describe only as a full-body belch, followed by a persistent tingle in the troublesome appendage. The tingle quickly intensified to a strong tug in a direction almost totally opposite to her adopted aunt's house on the edge of town.

For a time, Dinky pressed on, struggling against the mysterious force, the streets of Ponyville like unto a perilous mountain slope. Eventually, the tug grew stronger than her little legs could resist, and the filly found herself getting dragged headfirst towards the heart of Ponyville. She made sure to remember which ponies were already out, about, and staring at her. After all, her mom would never believe this if she couldn't provide witnesses.

The two planeswalker ponies sped towards the gargantuapple. "Do we have a plan for that thing?" asked Ditzy.

"I've never really been one for plans," Pinkie replied lightly. "It's always more fun to just see what happens!"

"Even if what happens is us getting stepped on?"

The earth pony considered this for a moment. "Oh yeah. That'd be bad."

The pegasus gave a sigh. "What's your story, Pinkie? How'd you even find the time to do everything you said you did?"

"I never told you?"

This prompted an asynchronous eye roll. "Pinkie, you've never told anypony in town that you're a planeswalker."

"Not like I was hiding it!"

Ditzy conceded the point. "So, your origin?"

"Oh, right. Well, it started a few weeks after I got my cutie mark..."

Pinkamena's special talent was unconventional for the daughter of rock farmers, nopony could doubt that. Still, reasoned Clyde Pie, a little mirth and levity now and again never hurt anypony. Once some guidelines on a reasonable number of parties were established (along with plenty of reassurance that yes, he loved her parties, it was just that there was work to do,) Pinkamena's festivities quickly became the family's favorite thing about Saddleday.

A few weeks after the first party, Blinkastasia gave some disturbing news: sinkholes were appearing on the furthest edges of the north field with no apparent cause. "Diamond dogs, do you think?" Sue asked that night.

The Pie patriarch pondered his wife's proposition, then shook his head. "I looked for myself after Blinkastasia told us about the holes. They were still there."

Sue nodded, the conclusion obvious. "Dogs would've filled them in by then." Her expression turned grim. "Only one thing that'd be doing it then."

The bearded pony's only response was a nod.

"I suppose you'll take Pinkamena along with you? Show her what to do?"

He nodded again. "'Party pony' or no, she's growing up, and she'll going to have to learn how to properly tend the crop."

"Papa, what's a xorn?" Pinkie was so excited! A super special lesson, just Papa and her, 'cause she was a big pony and was gonna learn big pony responsimabilities!

"For most ponies, 'tisn't more than a curiosity. For us, it is a pest of the worst sort."

"Why?"

"It eats rocks."

The horrified gasp told Clyde that his daughter understood the threat this posed. "But... but those are our rocks!"

"That they are. Which is why today, I'll teach you what to do when a xorn starts nibbling on the crop."

Pinkie considered the other passengers in the Papa-pulled wagon: A small bag of gravel, an old plowblade, and a number six pickaxe. "It's not gonna be nice," she said quietly, "is it?"

"What we'll be doing? Neigh, it won't. But neither will the xorn. Feel not pity for the beast, Pinkamena. Like a great headless toad it is, naught like your sister's rabbits.

The filly gave a smaller, scandalized gasp. "You know about Inkie's bunnies?"

Clyde's face found itself smiling ahead of schedule. "Tis nary a foal that does not hide some secret from her parents, darling daughter, and nary one such secret the parents do not eventually discover." He came to a stop, expression again serious. "We've arrived. Look well upon the signs of the xorn."

"Okie dokie." As the filly hopped out of the wagon, her father had to hold back another early grin. So much of his mother in her. Her sisters were Sue's through and through, but PInkamena was in so many ways a little surprise.

Clyde ceased his woolgathering once he registered his child's actions. "Not too close now! The ground is weak where it has been chewed through."

"Oh!" Pinkie backed away from the anthill-like mounds, little hillocks topped with oddly neat cylindrical craters. She turned to her father. "Now what?"

"Now we must lure the beast out. A bit of gravel on the lip of the hole will do that." He'd begun to unhitch himself to fetch the bag when a slight sound hit his practiced ears. "Pinkie! To me!"

The filly made all haste. Papa only shortened her name when she was in danger. Unfortunately, this very rush was her undoing. Not five feet in front of her father, Pinkie stepped through a thin crust of dirt, tumbling into the chasm it hid. Clyde's anguished cry of "Pinkie!" echoed after her as she fell.

After a surprisingly long time spent falling, the filly concluded that a xorn was probably not responsible for the sinkhole. What was, she didn't know, but it had made a tunnel crackling with something like lightning, dropping from striking red to soothing blue for what seemed to be forever and a mile. Eventually, she hit the ground.

Pinkie's eyes had been shut, anticipating the pain of impact, but it never came. Eventually, she stood and opened her eyes curious to see if she could even see so deep underground. To her surprise, she could. To her even greater surprise, she was in a library.

There weren't a great deal of books on the rock farm. Almanacs, scripture, and geology textbooks, mostly. Here, there were shelves as far as the eye could see, bindings of every color of the rainbow, and no discernible holes in the ceiling. Actually, there was no discernible ceiling in which holes might form. Just bookshelves and scroll racks stretching up to infinity.

Confused, alone, and increasingly worried, Pinkie did the first thing that came to mind. "Hello?"

A boisterous male voice answered her. "Hmm? My word, is it that time already?" The filly looked around, but the sound seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere. "Ah, so it is, so it is. Best greet my guest." With that, the speaker appeared before her as if by magic (which was exactly how he did it.)

Pinkie gawked at the being before her. She'd never heard of humans, so she didn't know what to call him. She'd never heard of pygmy marmosets, so she described his hair and beard as simply "poofy." She had, however, heard of manners. "Hello," she squeaked.

The strange figure knelt down and adjusted his monocle to get a better look at the young pony. "Well, well," he bubbled, "how delightful. How simply delightful." He gave a smile and ruffled her mane, eliciting a giggle. "Hello, my little pony. My name is Commodore Guff."

"I'm Pinkie Pie!" answered Pinkie Pie, her energy returning as she determined that this stranger was nice. "You've got a lot of books!"

Guff sat on the floor and puffed up with no small amount of pride. "Thank you."

"How'd you get them all under the farm?"

This prompted a bit of confusion-induced deflation. "I'm sorry?"

Pinkie gave another giggle. "Why? You didn't do anything."

She's a child, Guff thought to himself. I need to be direct. "Why do you think we're under your farm?"

"Well, I was in the north field, then I fell and fell for a really, really long time, and then I was here."

"Ah." Oh dear, ruminated the bearded fellow, how do I explain this to one so young? "Sadly, we are not under your farm, Pinkie."

"Don't be silly, silly! If we aren't under the farm, then where are we?"

May as well bite the bullet, Guff old boy. "You have travelled thousands of years into the past, my little pony, and even further in space. Equestria hasn't even been made yet."

Ditzy narrowly avoided flying into the side of a house. "What!?"

"Yeah, it took me a while to come to terms with it. A regular doozy among doozies."

"But... but..." The pegasus bit back an incoherent scream. "This just raises further questions!"

Pinkie shrugged. "Hey, we gotta keep the readers interested somehow."

Carrot Top looked over her reflection critically, then nodded in satisfaction. It had taken another shower and considerable brush work, but her orange curls were back in position. She was now a bit behind schedule, but she could easily make up for the lost time, especially if Twilight Sparkle wasn't ready to get back to her on the feasibility of a retina scanner lock for the refrigerator door.

The tuber specialist was headed for the front door precisely when a knock came from it. For the second time that day, she opened it and was struck dumb by astonishment. "Ah... You... How... When..."

To his credit, Angel Bunny waited until she could get out a coherent string of phonemes. Once the earth pony had managed to name her new guest, he gave a wave. He couldn't do much more. The language of Lagomathematic consists mostly of coded thought impulses and the occasional emphatic gesture and is not pony-brain-compatible.

Carrot Top, however, had almost as much experience with the hare as Fluttershy. After all, when one tended a carrot crop, altercations with rabbits were inevitable. However, when faced with a specimen of Angel's intellect, pest control became a battle of wits on par with that of Aristrotle and Mashy Spike-Plate, infamous philosopher-khan of the Mongoat hordes. As such, Carrot could guess why her nemesis had come to her front door. "Fluttershy came by less a bit than an hour ago, heading further into town. You know about the giant worm... thing?"

Angel nodded.

"Well, she's riding it." After a moment of internal debate, the farmer said, "Good luck."

The rabbit smirked and snapped off a salute, then set off in pursuit of his quarry.

As the earth pony watched the rodent vanish into the distance, her brain actually processed what had just happened. She decided to add a stop by Berry Punch's place to today's errands.

Years in the past

In a world in perfect balance between flesh and spirit, there is a river. At the source of that river is a shallow cave. Inside the cave is a place of the utmost peace and tranquility. The susurration of a distant waterfall mixes with the lesser rivulets that stream from floor to ceiling to drown out pointless thoughts. Paper lanterns hung by previous visitors sway in a gentle, continuous breeze that soothes the body and stimulates the mind. Carved into one wall of the cave is a large, somewhat abstract bas-relief. The depicted figure clearly has three arms and a nice hat, but beyond that what is real and what is symbolic is difficult to say.

The serenity of the cave and the use of present tense were both interrupted by a sudden violent burst of light and sound, buffeting the lanterns and briefly soaking the walls. As the display petered out, the formerly unattended shrine now had two beings before it, a man and his pony. Or possibly vice versa.

"Good, we've arrived on target," observed Tezzeret. "You're a fairly quick study."

"Yeah..." Ditzy was occupied by her own thoughts. According to the human, the bubbles on her flank had been there when he'd brought her to Ravnica.That meant that her cutie mark had appeared either just before or during her first planeswalk. The second one supported this supposition. The Blind Eternities, for all of their chaotic roiling of time, space, energy, and possibility, made sense to her in ways that the sky didn't. Navigating through twelve dimensions (on average) had proven as instinctual as flying through three was supposed to be. Sure, it was a thin, threadbare silver lining on a gigantic black cloud, but at least it was something.

A tap on the head brought the pegasus back to reality. "Sorry. Were you saying something?"

Tezzeret took a moment before shaking his head. "Nothing important."

Ditzy finally registered their surroundings. "Wow! What is this place?"

"The plane is called Kamigawa. More specifically, we stand before—"

He was interrupted by the ambient breeze suddenly intensifying into a gale. Ditzy, remembering her flight school training, folded herself into a seated position, keeping as little surface area exposed as possible. Tezzeret simply put his flesh arm in front of his face and muttered, "Drama queen."

The winds impossibly shifted direction, becoming an ever-tightening vortex centered on the description-defying sculpture. With an explosive burst of air that sent the lanterns bouncing off the cave ceiling, the wall was rendered blank.

In front of that now smooth expanse of stone, however, hovered the very being it represented. It was very approximately humanoid, its face largely hidden beneath a wide straw hat. A jagged slit in the headwear allowed a single piercing eye to peer through. Three arms were evenly arranged around the base of its neck, each holding a katana.  The rest of its form was draped in garments that weren't robes so much as they were bolts of fabrics waving in a continuous unfelt breeze as they receded into infinity. That there was a small, decidedly finite space behind the being did not seem to matter.

In a fluttering, howling voice like a library caught in a hurricane, it spoke. You stand before the honden of the Myojin of Seeing Winds.

Tezzeret, having seen all of this before, was less than impressed. He nudged the still huddled pony with a boot. "You can get up, Ditzy."

Hesitantly, she did so. As she opened her eyes, she gave a brief shout before screwing them shut again.

Both of the shrine's other occupants looked at her quizzically. "What's wrong?" asked the artificer.

"It's too bright..." The pegasus had her forehooves draped over her eyes. She didn't know what she was looking at, but her vision saw it as a blue sun. One that was about five feet away from her face.

A horse that speaks? The bombast of the Myojin's earlier monologue was replaced by curiosity. It sheathed its blades and drifted closer to Ditzy, prompting further whimpering.

"Indeed." For his part, Tezzeret at least looked concerned about the effect the godlike being was having on the pony. Or maybe it was just gas. It's hard to tell with him. "I believe I've fulfilled my part of our agreement, wouldn't you?"

Quite, the spirit said absently. As promised, knowledge for knowledge. One of the fluttering lengths of cloth rolled itself into a cylinder, becoming a scroll case in the process. The Myojin tossed it to the human. Written there are the acts performed by the Most Venerable and Insightful Crucius in Kamigawa.

Tezzeret essayed a deep, if brief bow. "You have my thanks, ancient one."

The kami gave a vague nod as it considered the shuddering pegasus before it. It mused aloud in a voice of ocean surf and scratching quills. She perceives Our glory in a way that few mortals ever have.

"I'm sure it's quite flattering."

Intriguing, certainly. But one's being unable to withstand the presence of another does not readily lead to a fruitful exchange of ideas. We shall rectify this situation. The embodiment of an entire plane's blue mana laid his hand on the pony's brow.

Ditzy looked around, but there wasn't anything to see. It was like being inside a cloud. Nothing but colorless opacity as far as the eye could see. Strangely, though, she could still see herself, which hadn't been the case in her numerous other experiences with being stuck in a cloud. "What's going on?"

"We stand within a thought."

The pegasus turned and beheld a king.

There have been many guesses as to why Celestia has never taken the title of Queen. Humility. Image. Respect for her mother, wherever She may be. The alicorn standing before Ditzy clearly had no such qualms. A proud stallion, he stood at least two and half times as tall as the adolescent pony. His wings and horn were impeccable. His coat was a deep lustrous blue, bordering on indigo. His mane seemed to treat gravity as a quaint suggestion, billowing behind him like a cloud, shimmering in shades from the near white of a desert sky to the almost-black of the ocean's depths. Its colors swirled lazily, like a personal cyclone. But the most striking aspect of the strange stallion was his near total lack of adornment. His sole accessory was, of all things, a straw hat of a style Ditzy had never seen before.

The pegasus boggled vacantly at this stranger for some time before coming to her senses and prostrating herself.

This prompted a bit of soft laughter from the diety. "Rise, rise, dear child. I receive enough worship for my tastes. You need not add yours."

Ditzy hesitantly went to her hooves. "S-sorry, Your Highness. I've just n-never met royalty before."

The alleged royal blinked, nonplussed. "Royalty?" He pondered this for a moment. "A monarch of sorts, I suppose, though 'pentarch' would be a more accurate term. In any case, though I may be near to them, I am by no means among the highest of the high."

"Then why... how...?"

"Ah! I see." He shook his head. "As I said, young one, we are within a thought, a dream. What you see is what your mind chooses to make from the reality. You see me as a king because a king is the closest your mind can come to what I am."

Ditzy scratched at the not-ground with a hoof, digesting this tidbit. "Then how do I look to you?"

The alicorn raised his eyebrows. "I do not believe I have ever been asked that question. I am not certain if any kami has been asked that by any mortal." He smiled. "Do you know what you have done, child?"

The pegasus thought for a moment. That seemed to be a genuine, happy smile. "...Something good?"

"Oh yes. Yes, indeed." It may have just been her brain struggling to make sense of impossible input, but to Ditzy, the alicorn began to trot animatedly around her. "You see, there is one thing that I value above all else. Above worship, above virtue, above even foiling the plots of certain honored siblings of mine." He stopped in his procession and looked to her. "Do you know what that is?"

"...Your hat?"

The blue god paused for a moment at this, but his conversational momentum spurred him back into action. "Close, but not quite. No, what I value above all other things is the new. That which I have not already experienced, which I do not already know." His gaze suddenly became arresting in its intensity. "Sea and sky are my eyes. Wind and wave are my ears. There is not a single thing done in air or water in this world that I do not witness." He blinked. Ditzy realized that she had been holding her breath. "So, you can imagine how excited I am when something novel presents itself to me."

"Um, yeah." When did her heart start beating at jackhammer frequencies?

"I do not encounter the new without gratitude. You may ask of me a boon, as your comrade did."

"Tezzeret?" The other horseshoe finally dropped. "You're that blue thing?"

The alicorn made a great show of spreading his blue wings and moving his blue head from side to side, taking in his blue flanks. "Why yes. I suppose I am."

Ditzy felt a blush rising and bit her lips, unknowingly causing a scrunchy face.

The Ponyojin of Seeing Winds smiled to himself. "I believe I know what boon will be of greatest help to you."

The pegasus shook herself out of the oncoming fugue. "What?"

Energy danced along the kami's horn, glowed in his eyes, danced in his mane. From his chest emerged a disturbingly human hand, making an arcane gesture. Insight.

Tezzeret sighed. The problem with dealing with the spirits of Kamigawa was, to put it in a familiar context, that they had no middle gears. A kami of rage was always angry, all the time. A kami of deception couldn't be trusted, not even to be untrustworthy, as it might mix in the truth now and then just to keep you on your toes.

And, when working with the ultimate embodiment of knowledge on the plane, one had to expect truly, literally, terribly ultimate knowledge. Every minute detail, catalogued and cross-referenced, with absolutely nothing left out. That meant that after going through several yards of scroll, Tezzeret had covered a stretch of time encompassing all of seven seconds.

Analysis of the scroll case indicated that it bore some manner of space-distorting enchantment that made it significantly larger on the inside, so the manuscript very well might literally go on for miles. But that wasn't the worst part. The worst part was obvious to someone familiar with the mind of Crucius the Mad, inventor of etherium, sphinx of questionable sanity, and planeswalker of unknown position in space and time. 

Like any sphinx, Crucius loved riddles. However, his riddles were often designed on a planar scale. Or larger. If his actions on Kamigawa did hold some clue to his current whereabouts, they would no doubt require a careful reading of the entire transcript to understand. Literally nothing could be dismissed as inconsequential.

"No one said it'd be easy," noted Doc Jest.

"I don't want it to be easy," answered Tezzeret. "If it were easy then it wouldn't be worth doing. I just want one or two steps to not entail insane leaps of logic and a complete redefinition of who I am as a person."

"Oh, that. I hear you there, buddy. And I just have to put up with the noise from next door. I can't imagine what that's like for you."

The artificer was about to inquire more deeply into this when a pulse of air burst from the still forms of Ditzy Doo and the Myojin of Seeing Winds. Both had been motionless since the spirit had touched the pony's forehead, a good ten minutes by the human's estimate. Now, both stirred, the pseudogod repositioning itself in front of its shrine, the pegasus trying to get her eyes to at least approach alignment.

Tezzeret began rewinding the scroll. In a sarcastically bright tone, he asked, "Well, how did everything go?"

"It was..." Ditzy groped for a word that could sufficiently encompass everything that had just happened. She settled on "enlightening." She bowed to the Myojin. "Thank you."

It has been Our sincerest pleasure to be of service to you, Desiderata Planeswalker.

The man with the metal arm chose now to ruin the mood. "Are we quite through here? I don't mean to be rude, it's just that I'm on a tight schedule with a strict enforcer."

Ah. Yes. A noticeable chill entered the spirit's voice. The one who expressed his wrath on Our Most Honored Sister. There was a sound like a man slicing a river in half, or possibly vice versa, as the Myojin drew his swords. We have conferred with Our other August Siblings on the matter. We Four have, in a momentous occasion, come to a consensus, not only amongst Ourselves, but with none other than the Most Gracious and Vigilant Sisters of Flesh and Spirit. When the presumptuous lump of rotting yak semen that refers to itself as Nicol Bolas next attempts to mar Our world with his noisome presence, he shall meet the full fury of a universe scorned.

Tezzeret, who in spite of himself had a decent instinct for the dramatic, waited a beat before replying, "Well, I suppose we'd best being getting on our way, then. Coming, Ditzy?"

The pegasus shook herself out of the astonishment caused by the kami's grim declaration. "Oh, um, sure. Where are we going?"

"Back to Ravnica. I'm calling in a favor."

Rarity critically examined the appendages coming out of her forelimbs. She just couldn't see what Lyra saw in the things. Yes, the gifts of Generosity could make the reasons behind the green unicorn's predilections clear as day, but frankly Rarity didn't want to know. As far as she was concerned, any practical benefits these... "hands" might provide were far outweighed by the aesthetic havoc they wreaked.

A single knock on the door, more of a "thud" really, brought the designer out of her contemplation. With a thought, she dismissed the graspers and rendered the crystal encasing her horn perfectly transparent. No sense in frightening off customers, after all. Having made herself presentable, she answered the summons. "Welcome to the Carousel Bou— Dinky Doo?"

Indeed, it was Ditzy's foal, looking rather peeved at something. "Hello, Miss Rarity."

"What brings you here, darling?" Rarity guessed it was some event calling for formal attire, judging by the filly's demeanor.

"This," answered Dinky, pointing to her horn.

A look of surprise flashed across the fashionista's face before a knowing smile settled there. "Dragged you all the way here, didn't it?"

"Yeah, how'd you know?"

Rarity held back a titter at the child's look of amazement. "Something similar happened to me around your age, though I wasn't brought to anywhere nearly as fabulous." She cleared the doorway. "Come in, come in, unicorn magic never happens without a reason. We'll find your special talent before you can say 'haute couture'!"

Dinky seemed unsure. "Mommy told me to go to Auntie Carrot and keep myself safe from the monsters."

"I assure you, Dinky, I will keep you safe as safe can be and bring you back to your mother sporting a brand-new, breathtaking cutie mark."

"Well, okay, I guess..." As the filly entered the shop, a thought came to her. "Hey, is Sweetie Belle home? Can she try fashiony stuff with me?"

Rarity betrayed no visible reaction to this question, a testament to both her self-control and the generosity elemental's stabilizing influence. "Dear, Sweetie has tried everything one can do here several times. She may insist otherwise, but her talents clearly lie elsewhere."

"Hey!" The pony in question indignantly stomped downstairs. "That's not what you told me!" Rarity facehoofed. Dinky stared. Sweetie Belle looked from one to the other, confused. "What?"

With tact typical for her age, the blonde filly broached a pressing subject. "Wh-what happened to your horn?"

"Huh?" Sweetie looked up. "Oh. Oops." In her rush to call out her sister, the curly-maned foal had forgotten to hide the blue crystal encasing her horn.

Her sister sighed and shook her head. "So much for my good deed of the day. Jean, I believe that this is your cue."

The sisters heard a reply of Of course. Dinky simply saw the largest gemstone she'd ever seen pop out of a walk-in closet, followed by four of the second largest gemstones she'd ever seen. A monster! And it had taken over Sweetie Belle and Miss Rarity! The filly's pupils contracted to pinpricks, her legs paralyzed by fear.

One of the smaller crystals drifted towards her. In all previous cases, once the elemental made contact with a unicorn's horn, the unicorn briefly lapsed into a calm passivity as her mind was integrated into the growing gestalt.

Dinky did not follow this trend.

Once the jewel slipped over the tip of her horn, Dinky began screaming. The octohedron stopped moving and began to glow from within with vivid multicolored light. The filly began whipping her head back and forth, trying to dislodge the source of a terrible, ever-intensifying pain.

The sisters stared in horror for a moment before Rarity demanded, "What are you doing to her!?"

The elemental did not generally experience emotions. Being a creature of crystallized magic, it lacked the requisite glands. As such, the edge of nervousness creeping into its otherwise calm reply might have just been Rarity projecting. There has been an anomaly.

"I can see that! How do we fix it?"

Sedate her.

The purple-maned pony sorted through every spell known to three unicorns and came up short. "How?"

Sweetie Belle, meanwhile, was trying to keep Dinky calm, or at least from hurting herself in her thrashing. She had registered the hot-and-cold running dialogue, but paid no conscious attention to it. However, in her subconscious, necessity knew desperation and begat invention. "Hush now, quiet now, it's time to go to bed..."

The crystalline entity paused in its explanation of how Rarity's aspersions on its parentage were ultimately insulting herself. There has been a shift in Dinky Doo's state of consciousness. Just in time to avoid permanent damage, no less. Well done, Sweetie Belle.

"Sweetie Belle?" Rarity turned to the two fillies, panic forgotten in the wake of the crisis's resolution. "Why, dearest, whatever did you— Oh."

Both foals were fast asleep, Sweetie draped across Dinky. As the designer smiled at the heartwarming sight, the crystal on the blonde filly's horn resumed its progress into her skull.

Ditzy had to admit, for a hot pink, hyperactive party animal with volume control issues, Pinkie Pie was quite good at stealth when she wanted to be. She had managed to hop off of Screwball and sneak behind Applejack wholly unnoticed. Well, up until she said, "Hi, Applejack!"

"Mornin', Pinkie. Pinkie!?" The farmer's surprised leap would've probably been quite impressive. However, a harness grown from the honesty elemental's crown was keeping her from falling, and a jump is just falling up. Thus, the orange mare did a fair imitation of an inelastic paddleball instead. As she got herself back on her hooves, she asked, "How in Celestia's name didja git up here?"

"Oh," Pinkie said smugly, "I have my ways. I have my ways."

"Uh huh." A quick look up found a probable cause. "Ah'm sure ya didn't get 'n airlift from Ditzy Doo."

"Mayyybe."

Ditzy shuddered for a moment. Whoa. Deja vu. Shaking it off, she landed on the mobile fruit butte. "Applejack, we need to talk."

The freckled pony raised an eyebrow. "Ah reckon so. Ya ready t' answer honestly without no fancy truth magic?" She smirked. "If'n y'll pardon th' double negative."

The pegasus sighed. "That's really not important right now. What is is—"

It was at this point in time that her daughter began to scream. Once amplified through the generosity elemental, Dinky's uncontrolled magic made that cry resonate in the ætheric fundament of the plane itself. What that sentence magical technobabble actually means is that a mother heard her child screaming in pain. The reaction should come as no surprise. "Dinky."

The earth ponies blinked. "Did you hear thunder just now?" asked Pinkie.

Applejack shook her head. "Nah, that there was the sound o' air fillin' in space where a pegasus in a big ol' hurry was standin'. Dash causes 'em all th' time." She looked towards Ponyville, the direction in which a grey blur had briefly been visible. "Never knew Ditzy Doo o' all ponies could do it."

"A parent will go to incredible lengths for a child."

The farmhoof looked at her friend in wonder. That tone had been downright sedate compared to Pinkie's usual exclamations. It even seemed... sad? Was such a thing even possible? "Pinkie..."

The party pony turned, voice bright and bouncy as she was. "Yeah?"

Applejack shook her head. Then she realized she needed to say something. "Y'know, yer ride done went an' left ya here. How exactly are ya plannin' on gettin' down?"

Pinkie Pie shrugged. "How are you?"

The orange mare opened her mouth to reply, only to realize she had no answer for that particular question. "Ah'm bein' a silly pony, ain't Ah?"

Her friend nodded and put a foreleg over her shoulders. "Best leave it to us professionals, dear."

Applejack sighed. "Ah s'pose Ah was bein' a might excessive with Ditzy, too. Pony's got a right t' her own business, after all."

Pinkie nodded enthusiastically. However, whatever she was going to say was overwritten by the sudden appearance of a sheepish looking purple pony. "Screwball! What's up?"

"Ehehe..." The avatar gave a nervous grin and brought her forehooves together a few times.

"Uh, Pinkie, who's—"

The party pony delivered a decidedly unfestive glare at her summoning. "Screwball. What did you do?"

The avatar hesitated for a moment, then spilled her (thankfully proverbial) guts. "Amorphous beluga chimney doctrine, elephant frangible gregarious." She hastily added, "Halogen iota jejune!"

"Oh, wonderful." Pinkie gave a sigh that told of long-suffering endurance of incompetent minions. "Well, go find Fluttershy."

Screwball hung her head. "Zanzibar..." She flew off as guiltily as a spiral-eyed, beanie-propelled manifestation of chaos can.

Applejack looked at her friend with a new wariness. "Uh, Pinkie? Care t' explain what in the name o' pie crust just happened?"

"Later. Right now, we have bigger concerns."

"Like what?"

As if in response, the world seemed to tilt back, accompanied by a sound like a mountain threatening to fall over. As the view returned to its normal orientation, Pinkie replied, "Like a one-apple stampede."

Blessing of Seeing Winds 3UUU
Sorcery - Arcane
Blessing of Seeing Winds can't be countered if you cast it from your hand.
Choose a card type. Draw a card for each permanent you control of that type. If you cast Blessing of Seeing Winds from your hand, you have no maximum hand size for the rest of the game.
With the Kami War over, the Myojin himself spread secrets of healing and restoration among mortal minds.