//------------------------------// // You Know It's a Must // Story: Are We Human? // by dramatic_spoon //------------------------------// Big Macintosh breathed a sigh of relief as he set the cart down behind him. “Alright boys, I want all of that in the store room, double time.” Berry Punch ordered her assistants. Two earth ponies quickly set upon the cart, unloading the barrels. “That’s all the cider?” Berry turned her attention back to the stallion. “Eeyup.” “I think I owed you a bit from last time, so…” Berry pulled out a small bag filled with bits, “This oughta cover it. Let Bloom know she still have to pay me back for what happened at her bachelorette party.” “Will do.” Big Macintosh tucked the bag into his saddlebags before continuing into town. --- “Excellent work today, Rome.” Lyra beamed as the filly began to put her instrument away. “Thank you Mrs. Lyra.” “Remember, no lessons next week, but keep practicing.” Lyra waved as the filly trotted off. The unicorn looked up at the clock and sighed. “Time to go get Rhapsody.” Lyra looked behind her, “Aulos, do you mind closing up today? I need to pick up my daughter.” An older pegasus mare stuck her head out of another room and nodded. “Go right ahead, dearie, I’m still with a student.” “Thanks.” Lyra quickly packed up her scattered belongings and shoved them into her saddle. With a final scan of the room, she locked her door and left. Lyra trotted down the street, passing the bakery, quill and sofa shop and paused in her tracks: Big Macintosh stared back at her, confused. “I thought you had delivers to make today.” She asked her husband. “Dropped’m off already. Thought you still had lessons.” “Twinkleshine called in saying Candy Crush has the feather flu, so she had to cancel today,” Lyra responded, “so I finished early and Aulos said she’d close up today.” “…You don’t think she’d be too embarrassed if both of us pick her up, would she?” Big Macintosh asked. “Only if we do something that would embarrass her.” --- Rhapsody was not having a good day. First, she forgot her math homework. Second, she had dropped her lunch in the mud, and ended up sharing lunch with Slide Rule. And Mrs. Cheerilee always packed weird, healthy things for her. Today was something she called Daylily cakes with nutroast and partially sprouted alfalfa. Mrs. Cheerilee called it healthy, and Slide Rule said it tasted good. Rhapsody just called it gross. Fortunately Flash and Gem were nice enough to give her some of their Princess Luna Brand Moon Pies and Cucumber sandwiches. After lunch, everyone grouped up by type so they could practice. That meant Gem and Flash went with Aunty Scootaloo for flight practice, Popper and Slide Rule went off to do whatever Earth ponies did, and she would get stuck with Tomahawk and Miss Pumpkin Cake for magic practice. Today they were suppose to practice levitating things, but Rhapsody had had a lot of experience doing that. When the trees in the orchard were ripe, dad went out to kick the apples down. Usually Aunty Applejack and Aunty Applebloom helped him, but sometimes Uncle Rumble, mom and herself had to go out and help. If mom went out, she used her magic to yank all the apples off the tree and put them in the buckets. Rhapsody couldn’t do that much yet, but she could manage one or two at a time. Rhapsody did learn a bit about teleportation, but Miss Pumpkin Cake said she was going to hold off on that until they were older and better at it. However, today’s practice was with mugs of hot water and pouring it into cups without losing focus. Unfortunately, Rhapsody had sneezed while levitating her mug, and accidently splashed it on Tomahawk and Sunbeam. Class had ended with water everywhere and the entire group put into time out. The filly glanced over at Tomahawk who had fallen asleep on his desk, drool running down the side of his face. Next to him, Sunbeam continued to fold paper into…something, she couldn’t see what. Rhapsody looked the other way, out the window and froze. Miss Pumpkin Cake outside talking to her parents, no doubt about what had happened today. Rhapsody groaned and thunked her head against the desk “…I don’t blame her for starting it. That was an accident But, I do blame her for going along with the others and making it bigger.” Pumpkin finished. “Why were you using hot water?” Lyra asked. “That’s how Princess Twilight and Rarity taught us,” Pumpkin Cake shrugged, “Anyway, she’s free to go.” Pumpkin Cake went back into the classroom and pushed open the door. Tomahawk woke up with a start and fell out of his chair. “Rhapsody, I’ve spoken to your parents about today’s…incident. I’m sure they’ll have something to say about it, so you may go home.” Rhapsody muttered her goodbyes as she got up and slung her schoolbag over her side. Trotting outside, the filly paused in front of her parents, not looking up from the ground. “Come on, Rhapsody. We can talk on the way home.” The three began the walk back to the farm. “Pumpkin Cake says you got into a bit of a tussle today,” Big Macintosh stated. Rhapsody muttered something unintelligible in response. “Gonna have to speak up, Rhapsody.” “It was an accident,” Rhapsody repeated, “I couldn’t stop from sneezing.” “Ain’t talkin’ about that,” Mac chuckled. “Wasn’t. Wasn’t talking about that,” Lyra corrected, “I don’t mind if you talk like that, but I want Rhapsody to-” “To talk like a proper mare, is that what you were going to say?” Big Macintosh interrupted. While his accent remained, all traces of the rough manner and improper grammar had vanished. The two mare stopped and stared at him as he continued on, “Mother and father also insisted that I learn how to speak like a proper stallion in the event that I would need to-” “Just stop.” Lyra interrupted, “don’t do that again, it’s creepy.” “Eeyup.” Rhapsody nodded. “Like I was sayin’ then,” Big Macintosh’s drawl returned, “I wasn’t talkin’ about spillin’ it, I was talkin’ about how you started tusslin’ with Tomahawk and Sunbeam.” “…He started it,” Rhapsody grumbled. “Don’t matter, it takes two t’ tango.” “What’s a tango?” Rhapsody looked at Lyra. “It’s an expression, sweetie. It means something like it take two people to fight and complicate something.” “Oh.” “Like I was sayin’ you shouldn’t have gotten involved. What did throwin’ water on them get you?” “…Held back after school.” “Exactly.” Big Macintosh nodded. “…Miss Pumpkin Cake said she’s gonna teach us ta teleport next week.” Big Macintosh and Lyra stopped dead in their tracks and looked down at her. “She’s teaching you to what?” “Teleport. She let me practice a little bit with small stuff.” Rhapsody responded. Mac turned to Lyra, “How dangerous is that?” “Lemme put it this way, There’s three ponies that I know of who can do it. All three of them are princesses.” Lyra frowned, “We weren’t taught at Canterlot because of how dangerous it was.” “What, like ponies getting’ stuck in walls and things?” “And worse,” Lyra shivered, “Never saw it myself, it was banned long before I was in Magic Kindergarten, but my teacher had stories…” “And they taught Twilight anyway.” Mac stated. “Careful practice and study, you know how Twilight is. That said, her mother was pissed when she found out.” Lyra chuckled, “I think that was the first time I ever saw the Princess admit she was wrong.” “See?” Rhapsody beamed, her horn glowing, “I can do it.” “NO!” Lyra and Big Macintosh lunged, grabbing Rhapsody. The filly’s magical aura quickly engulfed the three and in a blink they vanished. --- Energy crackled in the air as Rhapsody reappeared in the middle of an apple orchard. The excited filly bounced up and down at her success. “See? I can do it, I ca…” Rhapsody trailed off as she turned around to find no one there, “uh-oh.” --- Lyra landed in something soft. Opening her eyes the mare found her in the middle of a massive mud puddle. “…Wonderful.” The mare yanked herself up with a squelch, and dragged herself out of the puddle, onto solid ground. Above her the branches of a tree rustled. “Lyra?” Big Macintosh’s voice called out from above her, “You alright?” The mare looked up to see her husband clinging to the tree branch for dear life. “I’m fine,” Lyra sighed in relief, “hold on, I’ll get you down in a bit.” Lyra concentrated on her horn, only for nothing to happen. The mare glanced up at her horn, frowning. “Hold on…” She tried again, her face scrunched up from the concentration. After several moments she broke her concentration, shaking her head. “Mac, I don’t know what’s wrong, but my magic isn’t w-” The branch snapped under Mac’s weight. The stallion let out a terrified yell as he plummeted to the ground and thudded on the ground. Lyra rushed over to him. “Mac! You alright?” “I’m fine,” he grumbled as he got back onto his hooves, “Been through worse. What were you sayin’?” “My magic isn’t working. I don’t know why, it just is.” Lyra shook her head, “Where are we?” The two looked around at their surroundings: thick vegetation, mud, and the sound of animal life. “Looks like the Everfree.” Lyra noted. “You haven’t seen Rhapsody have you?” Mac asked. “…No. You don’t think she’s lost here do you?” “I’m hopin’ she is.” Big Macintosh paused, “I know you said you didn’t learn how, but did they talk ‘bout the basics of teleportation?” “Theory? Yes,” Lyra paused, “It’s limited to places you are familiar with, so it’s unlikely that she ended up in…I don’t know, the Griffon Empire or Las Pegasus.” “What about Canterlot or Appleloosa?” “…Not likely, she was pretty young when she went, so she wouldn’t remember.” Lyra paused, “So I think it’s limited to here, the farm, or somewhere in town. If she ended up on the farm it’s not a problem. She ends up at school, the library or anyone’s house, she’ll be fine. It’s here that’s the problem.” She grumbled, looking around. “…Well, this ain’t gonna be any fun.” Big Macintosh shook his head, “what was Pumpkin thinking?” “She learned from Twilight. Probably thought everypony did it.” “…You think Tomahawk knows how to teleport?” “I hope not,” Lyra shook her head. --- Rhapsody’s day had gotten worse. The filly continued down the well worn trails within the orchard, looking around as she walked. Everything seemed bigger: the trees, the apples, the fence, even the road. Looking at the road again she noticed that it was strange: two paths made from gravel and stones ran down the path, with grassy tuffs on the side and in the middle of the two paths. To make matters worse, her magic wasn’t working. Rhapsody remembered that Pumpkin Cake and Aunty Trixie had mentioned that if they used too much all at once, it meant they would end up temporarily unable to cast any spells. Rhapsody had figured that she had ended up teleporting herself, her mom and dad to the farm, and that ended up draining her magic reserves. Although she wasn’t sure where mom and dad had ended up. Rhapsody was not looking forward to finding them. No doubt it would involve lectures and some kind of punishment. Rhapsody had been so caught up in her thoughts that she walked into something. Stumbling back the filly looked up, expecting that she had walked into a tree, fence post or something else. She was wrong. The filly froze in terror at the monstrosity in front of her. The beast dwarfed her, it might have even dwarfed dad she thought. It stood on its hind legs, which were covered in some strange blue cloth, with something white and black over it’s hooves. It’s large, barrel like torso was covered in a strange white cloth with a strange pattern on it, and two strangely shaped limbs jutted out from the side of its body, much like a minotaur. Its head was bare, save a strange tuff of greenish fur on the top of it’s head. The beast’s eyes were beady looking compared to her own; a strange knob of flesh was located between the eyes and what Rhapsody thought was its mouth: a thin slit surrounded by pinkish flesh. Two strange and pointed pieces of flesh jutted out on each side of its head. Then, to Rhapsody’s horror, it’s mouth open and it spoke. “Oh my gosh, It’s a pony!”