//------------------------------// // Dark Battle Royale // Story: The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (A Death Battle Parody) // by TundraStanza //------------------------------// A/N: Well, it's official. I'm going insane. Prepare for some details that will make no sense without at least some imagination. Properties belong to Hasbro, Screw Attack, and Square Enix. ... I'm taking a shot at the dark here. --- The Moment No Pony was Waiting For (17) ---Death Battle--- Have we got a show for you today. Let the games begin. Various armies of enemies take the screen. W says, "Heartless, Nobodies, Unversed, and changelings. They plague the nightmares of Keyblade wielders and pony kind." B adds, "And today we're pitting hoards of all four of these spawning enemies in a giant no-holds battle royale. He's W and I'm B." "And it's our job to analyze their weapons, armor, and skills to find out who would win a Death Battle. ---Death Battle--- Dark creatures with blank yellow eyes and various shapes fill the screen. "The Heartless are creatures that take residence in the realm of Darkness," introduces W, "Their primal instinct sends them to attack those that have hearts and consume the hearts for energy." As a fact screen appears, B continues, "The Heartless come in two broader categories: the Purebloods and the Emblems. The main difference is that when Emblem Heartless are defeated, they release their captive hearts. Purebloods don't." "The sub-categories of Heartless cover a wide variety of forms and abilities. The most basic of the Pureblood Heartless are the Shadows which, as their name implies, are made of pure shadows. Other Purebloods include Possessors, Darkballs, and Neoshadows." "The most basic Emblem Heartless are these tiny, wizard, bird things that take the names of various musical terms and use spells depending on their color." "Red Nocturnes and Scarlet Tangos cast fire spells, Blue Rhapsodies cast blizzard, Yellow Operas cast lightning, Emerald Blues cast wind, and Green Requiems heal themselves and their allies." "Other Emblem Heartless include Soldiers, Large Bodies, Bandits, Wyverns, Wizards, Plants, Bombs, and Crescendos." "The Heartless in general stay in the realm of Darkness unless summoned to the realm of Light by people with Darkness in their hearts." "So if you ever face these things, bring a flashlight... or a Keyblade." A scene from the game Kingdom Hearts II reveals Saix saying, "The Heartless ally with whomever is the strongest." ---Death Battle--- A creature that resembles a living husk of metallic pajamas is shown on screen. "While Heartless are beings that reside in the Darkness," says W, "the Nobodies are the body and souls that remain after their hearts are lost to darkness." "There's a saying that Nobodies don't exist," comments B, "but that doesn't explain how they can beat the crap out of you." A stat screen appears as W continues. "The most basic type of Nobodies are the Dusks. They are swift, agile, and more dextrous than the Shadows." "Other Nobodies include Creepers, Sorcerers, Snipers, Berserkers, Assassins, Dragoons, Dancers, Gamblers, and Samurai." "These lesser Nobodies often take orders from the greater Nobodies of Organization XIII. However, for the sake of this battle, the Organization will be sitting this one out." "All of these abominations of nature will be free to roam the battle field at their leisure." A scene reveals an image of a Dusk while Yen Sid says, "Nobodies do not truly exist at all." ---Death Battle--- A creature resembling a blue, shell-less cockroach with red eyes appears on screen. "Those who were not well-versed in their own existence," reads W, "the Unversed are fledgling emotions that feed on negativity. Originally born when the dark-being Vanitas was separated from Ventus's heart, these monsters are physical extensions of Vanitas." Stats appear as B takes the floor. "The most common form of Unversed are the Floods, which act and attack pretty much the same way as the Shadow Heartless, only faster." "Other forms of Unversed include Scrappers, Bruisers, Monotruckers, Thornbites, Shoegazers, Spiderchests, Archravens, Jellyshades, Tank Topplers, Sonic Blasters, Mandrakes, Chrono Twisters, and Axe Flappers." "Each has their own shape and attacks. The Unversed were kind of the first monsters to attack the realm of Light, even though the Heartless supposedly existed first." "Either way, they unbalance light and darkness when they reveal themselves." "And they die in one of my favorite ways: exploding in blue fire!" A cut scene reveals Keyblade Master Eraqus telling his students about, "Fledging emotions that have taken monster form--Yen Sid calls them the 'Unversed'." ---Death Battle--- Black creatures that resemble insectoid alicorns are pictured on screen after the title card parts. W introduces, "The changelings are a monstrous hive that serve their Queen Chrysalis." B adds, "Who is now dead thanks to Shang Tsung in a previous Death Battle." He then coughs and then adds, "So they're on their own now." As a stat screen appears, W continues talking. "Changelings are 'emotion parasites' that feed off the true love of their victims. They can alter their appearance to match whatever loved form they see." "Also, they seem to have some wacky ability to imitate green meteor fire, which can blow craters into the earth and break magical shields simply by tackling them." "They seem to possess an ability to form green chrysalis goo that can trap their enemies in place making them immobile." "Except it doesn't hold too well against blasts from magic." "Like any swarm of insects, their strength lies in their numbers." The last cut scene shows Queen Chrysalis ordering a swarm of changelings to, "Go! Feed!" ---Death Battle--- W gives his declaration, "All right, the combatants are set. Let's end this debate once and for all." B shouts, "It's time for a full house monster Death Battle!" ---Death Battle--- A blue, rocky valley marks the setting for this Death Battle. The valley resembles the Great Maw area in the world Radiant Garden (Hollow Bastion). Monsters of all four teams start pouring into the valley via flight, foot, wheels, and everything else that makes their travel possible. The only team with any singularity is Team changeling. Let the genocide commence. "FIGHT!" A piano melody resembling a sinister shadow begins to play. Heartless Shadows and Unversed Floods immediately start tackling and scratching at each other. Some of the Heartless spellcasters start shooting fire, ice, lightning, and wind into the fray. Several Floods explode into blue flames as Unversed Scrappers make quick work of the rest of the weaker Shadows. Unversed Bruisers try to jump in only to be bounced off by the slightly larger Heartless Large Bodies. Meanwhile, the Nobody Dusks and Creepers have taken an interest in slicing and dicing the minion changelings. The alicorn bugs try to transform, but their green auras end with duds. They still hold their birth forms. The stunned shock leaves them open to Nobody Sniper fire. Huh, so that's what color changeling blood is. Some of the back row changelings take to the skies and aim for the Heartless/Unversed quarrel. Their meteor-like smashes destroy several Heartless Armored Knights and Unversed Spiderchests. Unfortunately, this also leaves those particular changelings vulnerable to being crushed by Unversed Shoegazers and swings from Heartless Bandits. Strangely enough, the majority of the Nobodies are holding back while the lesser Dusks handle the gist of the other three monster types that come close. Unversed Tank Topplers roll around and explode, causing casualties to every team. Heartless Bombs try to perform the same tactic, but only end up blowing up their own allies of darkness. Unversed Archravens and Heartless Wyverns take to the sky and hack at each other. The Nobody Gamblers make quick work of the Unversed Chrono Triggers by turning them all into cards before the timers run out. These cards are demolished by various hacks and slashes from all four teams. The remaining changelings make quick work of the frontal defense enemies by flying swiftly behind them for multiple kicks and bites. Released hearts and blue flames fill the evening sky. Another sect of the changeling swarm gets shot down by Nobody Snipers. The Unversed Jellyshades and Mandrakes are quickly depleted by Nobody Samurai and Heartless Living Bones. Almost all of the changeling faction has been killed, severely hacked apart, or crushed unconscious. A few Plants that grew in off screen are all that's left of the Heartless. The Unversed have only two Triple Wreckers standing up for them. The Nobodies make their move. The Berserkers start crushing. The Dancers move gracefully and kill quickly. The Assassins make little noise decapitating Plants. Four Dragoons quickly crumble the Triple Wreckers. The Dusks show no mercy to the unconscious changelings. All of the captive hearts are released. All the negative emotions are gone. All of the love suckers are finished. All that remains are the hollow empty shells. "M-m-m-m-monster K.O! k.o. k.o..." ---Death Battle--- "What is this? I don't even," exclaims B. "The Nobodies had a huge advantage right off the bat," reflects W, "Unlike the other monsters that fight only on instinct, Nobodies can think and plan and they didn't waste their big fighters right away. The changelings were at the largest disadvantage because there was no positive emotion on the field to feed on. Because of this, they had no way to access their trademark power of shape-shifting. The Heartless and Unversed were focused mostly on each other and didn't think about the long-term consequences of sending in their better team members right off the bat. This left an opening for the more powerful Nobodies to clean up the battlefield." "I guess mind, body, and soul beat hatred and rage." "The winner is Team Nobodies." A picture of one of the Dusks enters the screen with the bold word "Nobody" underneath it. ---Death Battle--- Credits roll and thanks are given for watching the show. --- A/N: Epic, right? And again I find myself at writer's block for a couple other stories I was working on. Oh well. Maybe that'll be more of a summer project to tackle. Properties belong to their respective owners. I gain no profit from this. I love Kingdom Hearts. P.S. Who's ready to watch Raiden vs. Thor on the real Death Battle show? I'm so excited! Edit: Dang! That was epic. I guess I should have expected that Thunder god to win.