“Do tell me, just how big of a fool did I make myself out to be?”
Fancy Pants pressed the end of his muzzle up against a mug filled with coffee, the steamy liquid warming his nose. He tried to keep his eyes shut as often as he could, his mind still pounding and hammering. He set his head on the table, the rest of his body seated on a cushion.
He stared at the blue tiled floor beneath his hooves, the color blurring into his vision until the patterns were unrecognizable.
“Well you clung to your dearly beloved’s arm for most of the trip home and kissed it quite a few times.” Hoity Toity took a sip of his own coffee, the high-class pony looking much more put together at such an early time than Fancy Pants did. When Fancy opened his eyes, he watched the earth pony run the bottom of a pan over the burner of the stove. The scent of eggs and hay strips hit his nose. “Honestly I was afraid you were about to start dry humping him after you told him you liked his outfit for the tenth time.”
Fancy Pants groaned, sitting up with a great amount of effort from his two-ton body before instantly burying his face into his hooves. He tried his best to think about the previous night. Little more than his memory of seeing Blueblood was a full piece, and the rest of his thoughts were snippits and flashes of the rest of the night.
“When did Blueblood leave again?” Fancy Pants asked, managing to pry his hooves away from his eyes. He had to admit, the thought of him clinging to the prince like that sent his heart pounding more than he thought it would. He wasn’t sure if he felt annoyed or content with that fact.
“A little after we got here, deary.” Fleur sat across from him as she browsed the morning paper. She set it down before she reached out her hoof to run it through Fancy Pants’ mane. “He was very concerned about you and wanted to be positive that you would be alright before he did so.”
Hoity chuckled. “I bet that’s the first time a boyfriend of yours has ran away before they even got into bed with yo-OW!”
Hoity Toity seemed to be hit right on his backside by the rolled up newspaper, courtesy of Fleur’s magic. Her horn glowed a light pink when she gave him a brief glare. She put a hoof over her mouth in a shushing motion.
“Honestly Fleur you hit harder than you look like you can,” Hoity complained as he rubbed a hoof on his backside. He began circling around the reddened area. “I’m very fragile for an earth pony, you know.”
“Sweetheart,” Fleur began, ignoring the whining of the earth pony. She scooted her cushion over next to the stallion, grasping his hoof in her own before she lifted it up to her lips. “Stop beating yourself up about this. He honestly cared about you if he made sure you got home safely.”
“I should really go and apologize,” Fancy Pants put a hoof over his pounding skull to try and contain whatever wanted to break loose. The smell of the food Hoity Toity was cooking seemed to only upset his stomach when he got a whiff of it. “He did look rather dashing from what I remember.”
“It’s probably best to stay put if you’re feeling so ill.” Fleur told the stallion, her voice a touch commanding. It reminded Fancy Pants of a mother and couldn’t help but smile at her stern look, though it quickly turned into a frown at a turn of his own stomach.
“Oh, Luna,” he whined, ripping off his monocle before clamping his hooves over his eyes. “I never want to drink again. I forgot all my cigarettes at the shop, too.”
“I’m sure you’ll say that when Blueblood invites you to drink with him.” Hoity Toity turned off the stove with a flick of his hoof, piling the food up onto his own plate before he approached the table. Fancy Pants didn’t want to admit it, but that thought honestly did make the prospect of feeling like this for another second a bit more bearable.
“My Celestia you have nothing to eat in this household, Fancy Pants.” Hoity complained as he stabbed a fork at his eggs. “I know you can’t cook to save your life, but I would have thought you had something a little more to eat. Unicorns really don’t have any idea what to do in the kitchen, do they?”
Fancy Pants smiled at that. Every time Hoity complained, it was easy for the unicorn to remind himself that the pony was still here in the first place. Hoity took a bite of his food, having the decency to at the very least swallow before he opened his mouth again, though it was interrupted by the sound of a loud ring.
Fancy Pants flinched at the sound of a doorbell. He whimpered gently as he squeezed his hoof over his mane. Hoity Toity sighed before getting to his hooves, trotting quickly to the hallway before the stranger had begun to bang their hoof on the door.
He had expected Hoity Toity to give an overly excited and mildly inappropriate welcome to whoever was at the door like he normally did. However there was nothing but silence and mumbling for a good ten seconds before a loud audible sigh was heard. Hoity walked back in with an annoyed expression.
“Honestly, why do the princes all flock to your home and not mine?”
“Blueblood’s here?” Fancy Pants knew his voice was a touch overly excited at the prospect. H had even jumped to his hooves.
“No, not your boyfriend.” Hoity Toity rolled his eyes, waving his hoof at the direction of the door as he stepped back into the kitchen to take a seat back at his food. Fancy’s eyes followed his friend for but a moment, but he was soon distracted as a white stallion with a blue mane walked into the home. He looked the opposite of princely, for his eyes had bags under them along with his ruffled mane.
“Fancy Pants?” Shining Armor asked the stallion. He took a step forward, eyes wandering away from the three for a brief moment as he took in a deep breath of air. The prince looked as though he were collecting his thoughts. “I hope I’m not intruding, but it really is important. It’s uh… well it’s about…”
“What happened to Blueblood?”
Fancy Pants hadn’t really thought about the question before he asked it, for it had just slipped out without thinking. He took a step towards Shining Armor, thinking to himself that there was no reason the prince would show up at his door otherwise, especially looking as ragged as he did. Fancy Pants let his eyes gaze down to Shining Armor’s side, noticing a rather large bruise near his cutie mark.
“Blueblood…” Shining Armor seemed as though he wanted to continue, though his eyes gazed hesitantly towards Hoity Toity and Fleur. “He uh… Blue…”
“Hoity?” Fleur spoke up, the earth pony looking away from the two stallions and to Fleur. “We were just about to take a little walk, don’t you remember?”
“I don’t recall…” Hoity acted as though for a brief moment that he was going to argue against Fleur’s attempt to butt the two out of the conversation. However he bit into his lip, nodding his head as he put his fork down neatly. Both he and Fleur stood up together, giving the prince a brief bow before squeezing past him.
“Have fun, boys!” Hoity called from the hallway, Shining beginning to rub the back of his neck with his hoof.
“Did… Hoity Toity just call you Blueblood’s boyfriend?” It seemed to be the first question on Shining Armor’s mind. He chuckled a dry laugh, just something to fill the air. “I didn’t know that Blueblood… well that he…”
Fancy Pants noticed Shining Armor was pressing his hoof over his lips as he spoke. The prince’s words were growing quieter and more muffled as that small seed planted itself in his mind.
“Hoity Toity just liked to tease me.” Fancy Pants’ laughed when those words left his lips, though the way Shining Armor acted it soon occurred to the stallion that it might be best to tiptoe around that particular topic for the time being. “Why are you here again? I don’t mean to be rude, but you’ve caught me at a bit of a rough time. I have a hangover that could kill right about now.”
“I’m sorry for coming so suddenly, then.” Shining Armor took another deep breath, the words seemingly hard to rip from his throat. “But you’re the only pony I can come to right now, okay?”
“Did something happen to Blueblood?” Fancy Pants took a step forward, his own upset stomach somehow finding a way to turn itself yet again. “He isn’t hurt, is he?”
“No… he’s…” Shining Armor looked to his hooves, biting his tongue. “He isn’t hurt.”
“Would you like some coffee?” Though Fancy Pants could feel the burning curiosity and worry brimming in his chest, he tried his best to be calm and patient. He knew that if he stood up any longer, he would start tapping his hoof with his own impatience.
“I would love some.” Shining sighed, walking slowly into the kitchen before he hesitantly sat down where Hoity Toity had been seated. He pushed the plate away before burying both hooves into his face. He pulled them down until his eyes were revealed, looking tired and aged.
“I hope you enjoy black. I’m afraid I’m all out of cream and sugar.” Fancy Pants walked to the stove, grabbing the pot of coffee in his hoof before he poured a fresh mug.
“I need something strong,” Shining spoke, the exhaustion creeping into his voice. “Black is fine.”
Fancy Pants handed the captain the mug, watching as he took the first sip without much hesitation. The older unicorn sat himself down gently, readjusting his monocle before he focused on the other. He watched Shining take a sip, and then another, and in fact he watched him for so long without a word that by the time Shining Armor spoke, half of his mug was empty.
Maybe it was the fact that Fancy Pants began tapping his hoof on the table that got Shining Armor’s attention.
“I didn’t want to come here,” Shining Armor admitted. He stared into his own mug, perhaps at his own reflection. “I have nothing against you, I hardly know you but…” Shining Armor shook his head slowly. “Do you care about Blue?”
“Of course I ca-”
“I mean really care.” Shining Armor leaned forward, hitting his hoof gently onto the surface of the table. “That comment about him being your boyfriend, what did it mean?”
“I highly doubt that is any of your concern.” Fancy Pants began to frown, his face losing a bit of his friendly demeanor that he usually put on. “And even if the comment meant something, I honestly doubt you have any reason to know about it.”
“I promise that it’s important.” Shining Armor pleaded to the older unicorn. “I just… I need to know that you care about him. I don’t want to make a mistake by coming here. I’m supposed to be his best friend, me and Cadence both are and… and I can’t even give him what he wants.”
Fancy Pants studied the look on Shining Armor’s face briefly. He watched the prince’s hooves tighten around his mug to the point where his hooves must have hurt. He seemed to have been holding his breath, for he let it out in one gasp relatively shortly.
“I care about Blueblood more than I’ve cared about a stallion in quite a long time.” Fancy Pants made sure to look into Shining Armor’s eyes while he spoke.
Shining Armor seemed to study his eyes briefly, looking for any hint of falsehood. He must have been satisfied, for when he looked away he began to explain. “I went to Blueblood’s room this morning.” Shining Armor breathed slowly. “I was just… I was upset that he wouldn’t talk to us. He avoided me and Cadence like the plague for over a month and I couldn’t take it anymore.” The prince gripped at his own foreleg and stared at it hard. He didn’t want to look the unicorn in the eye. “I… yelled and I backed him into a corner. I thought that maybe if I pushed hard enough I could just get him to say something instead of avoiding every question, but he just… kissed me.”
Fancy Pants could feel ice hit his heart, nearly freezing it in his place. He tried his best to sit still, though he knew the muscles in his forelegs tightened at those words. He watched Shining touch his own lips, and suddenly felt a pang of jealousy rip at his heart. He found himself wondering if Blueblood’s lips were as soft as they looked, if they would make Fancy giggle through a kiss just like he thought that would. It was a strange time to be thinking things like that, but it filled his head nonetheless.
“Blueblood uh… he uh…” Fancy Pants couldn’t find any words that would make either of the two feel better. “Why… you…”
Fancy Pants lowered his head. He reached up his hoof and began pulling at his mane, shielding his vision from Shining Armor. His chest clenched inside of him, and only one thought ran through his mind.
Why would he want an old man like me? It’s not like I even told him how I feel.
“I never thought about how he didn’t like looking at mares the same way I did.” Shining Armor shook his head. There was a sense of regret in his tone. “I thought maybe it was because he was shy, and when I found out he was engaged, I figured he might not have wanted to have his heart broken… I just… never even considered.”
Fancy Pants was barely listening. He tried to tell himself it was a bad habit to ignore ponies talking to him, but the thought of Blueblood’s lips pressing up to the stallion before him did nothing but rip at his insides.
“He said your name.”
“Pardon me?” Fancy Pants looked up from his lap. Shining Armor nodded his head in response.
“When Blueblood pulled away, he just said your name and turned away.” Shining laughed yet another empty laugh. “I honestly didn’t really think about it until after he got… upset…”
“Upset?” Fancy seemed to find his voice again, even if it was barely above a mumble. While the jealously still lingered in his chest, he found the ice thawing just a bit at the mention of his name.
“He yelled at me right after he did it. He couldn’t even look at me…” Shining squeezed his foreleg again. “I knew that look, I knew he was about to start crying and trying his hardest not to.”
Shining grew silent, taking another nervous sip of his coffee. “He won’t let me be there for him. I can’t give him what he wants, and he won’t talk to me. I don’t even know if he’s okay… no… I know he’s not okay.”
Shining Armor clapped his hooves together. He squeezed both of them as he set them neatly on the table. He closed his eyes for just a moment, and Fancy could see he was biting his tongue yet again.
“He wants to see you more than he wants to see me,” Shining Armor admitted. He pulled on the end of his blue mane as he cast his eyes away from Fancy Pants. “I’ve seen a lot of ponies try to get with Blueblood just because of his status, and I’m trying to think what you can gain by this. Like I said, I really don’t want to regret coming here. I’ve seen ponies lie and cheat trying to get to Blueblood, and normally he just ignores it. I’ve never seen him talk about a pony who likes him quite like he talks about you.”
“You mean he…?”
“I don’t know anything about love.” Shining Armor laughed. “I know I love Cadence more than anything, but I was never good at reading ponies. My wife was replaced by a giant bug once and I didn’t really take note. Twilight said a lot of mares hit on me in school, but I never noticed many of them.... But Blueblood was my best friend. I didn’t even think about any of this. But I know he cares about you… if I can’t be there for him, I think you can at least be. Cadence and I talked about it, and we want to see if you can… help us fix this. I have no reason to distrust you and know you’re not like that kind of pony just from the media, just…please, I have to ask you not to hurt him.”
The ice in his chest had nearly melted by the time Fancy Pants had gotten to his hooves. Shining Armor looked to him as the older unicorn took in a deep breath.
“I highly doubt that Blueblood would want to see me if I look like I’m having a horrible hangover.” Fancy Pants chuckled, looking out his window to see the morning sun was about to hit it’s peak at noon. “We can be out the door in ten minutes.”
“Thank you.” Shining Armor put on a smile. Fancy Pants recognized it instantly as being merely polite. He decided not to bring up that fact, but he did in fact bow his head briefly. “I don’t want to hold us up any longer. I’ll wait while you get yourself ready. There’s a royal carriage out front.”
“I honestly do care about Blueblood.” Fancy Pants stated. He noticed the mildly worried look on Shining Armor’s face, yet the prince turned to him with that same polite smile that didn’t reach his eyes.
Shining Armor’s eyes were firm, a little piece of that royal guard captain in him breaking through. “I don’t want to hurt Blueblood any further. I hope I’m right to trust you.”
“You are.” Fancy Pants reassured.
Shining Armor didn’t respond, and by the tapping of his hoof on the floor Fancy Pants realized he wished them to be off soon. He bowed his head, leaving the kitchen with a straight path to his bedroom.
Despite Shining Armor being so cautious about him, Fancy Pants couldn’t help but feel his heart beat in his chest, the ice melted by the new prince’s words. Even if this visit hurt him, he wanted to be there for Blueblood. He wanted to be at Blueblood’s side if he was nearly as upset as Shining said he was. All he wanted right now was to make Blueblood smile… it was a smile that filled his own chest with pride and joy.
When he entered his room and went to his closet, he took a brief glance at the ponnequin, it’s bare body surrounded by torn fabrics of various shapes and colors. He took a step towards it, reaching out his hoof to press against the plastic figure’s side. He thought about Blueblood smile, his blush, his lips…
Fancy Pants reached down to pick up a strip of fabric. It was crimson like that of a blossoming rose as he brought it to his face. He imagined Blueblood in the color as he let it slip from his hoof and fall to the ground. He shook his head with a groan of frustration, the thought suddenly dawning on him that he was in a bit of a rush.
He took a single step away, but found his gaze drifting back to the plastic statue. He stared at it for a brief moment, trying to envision his imagination coming to life and tangling itself around the ponnequin. A brief smile flickered on his lips, and he once again thought of Blueblood.
And just for a moment, his heart felt warmth.
“Red.”
The words slipped from his mouth when he turned away.
He didn’t have time to ponder his brief thought, for he quickly grabbed a coat and dress shirt. Fancy Pants decided he himself couldn’t even wait, deciding it would save time if he simply changed in the carriage ride.
For better or for worse, he was already on his way out the door.