//------------------------------// // House Hunting, Pranking, and Griffons...oh my! // Story: Princess Rainbow Dash, or An Alternate Ending to How Rainbow Dash Got Her Cutie Mark // by LuluCalliope //------------------------------// Princess Rainbow Dash Rainbow Dash woke up and stretched her wings. She trudged down the wooden stairs to the main room of the library, where Twilight sat with a cup of coffee and an open book. "Morning, Twi," the cyan mare mumbled. "You do know that it's the middle of the afternoon, right?" Twilight replied, turning a page. Rainbow sighed. She loved Twilight to death, what with them being friends, enemies of Blueblood, and Elements of Harmony, but she was tired of crashing with Twilight in the Golden Oak Library. Twilight never wanted to do anything fun, and she always insisted on a certain level of noise. Anything higher than that level interfered with her concentrating on her studies. And Spike snored. "Got any plans for the day?" Twilight asked, glancing up from her book. "You betcha!" Rainbow said. "I'm going...pause for dramatic effect...HOUSE HUNTING!" "What's wrong with you staying in the library?" Twilight asked, somewhat hurt. "Twi, no offense, but it's boring here. I'm not an egghead like you, so I'm not immediately entertained when I'm in a room SURROUNDED by books." "...none taken..." Twilight said. "So I gotta find my own place where I won't be bored! The next time you see me, I'll have a place of my own!" She promised, zipping out the door. "Who knew that house-hunting would be so hard?" Rainbow lamented, slumping against a tree. She had been to EVERY house that was for sale, but none of them suited her. As she pondered her next move...she couldn't go back to Twilight and the library without a new home...an orange Pegasus filly with a purple mane zoomed by on a scooter. She braked when she noticed the despondent princess, and her eyes widened. Rainbow noticed that she was being stared at, so she raised her eyebrow at the filly. "Can I help you?" "Can I help you? You look down." "I don't know if you can. I'm trying to find a new home for Ponyville, but nothing stands out! I need a place that's as awesome as I am!" The filly smirked. "I think I have what you're looking for..." It was EXACTLY what Rainbow Dash was looking for! It was a Cloudimonium with old-fashioned columns, rainbow streams like the ones at Rainbow Falls, really spacious bedrooms, and a great view of the neighboring mountains! "I'll take it!" She said to the filly (who had dragged along a real-estate agent). "Wait until Twilight gets a load of this beauty! She's gonna be SO JEALOUS!" She was on her way to find Twilight when the annoying voice of Pinkie Pie distracted her. "But, but Rainbow Dash...!" "I said not now! I'm in the middle of something!" Then Rainbow Dash crashed into a mountain and fell to the ground, groaning. "I was gonna tell you to look out for that mountain," Pinkie said matter-of-factly. "My leg...also, my head..." Rainbow groaned. Some time later... "Princess and Pinkie Pranking Palooza: Day One!" Pinkie said, jotting notes down on a notepad that she pulled from her poofy mane. The day consisted of painting all of the apples in Sweet Apple Acres, delivering a bouquet of flowers with sneezing powder to Rarity, and replacing Twilight's regular ink with vanishing ink. Rainbow hadn't had this much fun in a long, long time. And she was pleasantly surprised when Pinkie managed to prank her a few times! Nopony had pranked her in YEARS. Pinkie wasn't nearly as annoying as Rainbow thought she was...but she did have a lot of energy, and the princess was happy to get to her new home for some much-needed rest and relaxation. But then... "Knock knock," a voice said, causing Rainbow to jump. When she turned, she saw that she had a visitor: a Griffon. "Is this the house of Princess Rainbow Dash?" "Ohmygosh, is that you, Gilda?" Rainbow tackled her old friend to the ground and hugged her. "I missed you so much!" "Hey, watch the feathers, RD," Gilda laughed, standing up and straightening her feathers. "I missed you, too! I was in the neighborhood and I thought I'd look you up! Somepony mentioned that there was a PRINCESS living here now!" She teased. "Whoa, drop the princess thing here, 'k? I'm not a princess with my friends, I'm a friend with my friends!" "Sure," Gilda said, admiring Rainbow's horn. "So, got any new spells with that thing?" Rainbow's ears drooped. "Not really," she admitted. "Just the basics like levitation, which I don't use, teleportation, which I don't need, and...yeah, that's about it." "It's still awesome!" "Right..." Rainbow said, uncomfortable. "How long are you staying in Ponyville?" She asked, eager for a subject change. "As long as you want me to!" Gilda replied. "Sweet! You can spend the night here!" Rainbow Dash's first night in her new home was completely and totally awesome. It ended when the sun rose in the sky, and the toots of a party horn could be heard approaching the cloud home. "Rise and shine, Rainbow Dash!" Pinkie Pie called up. Gilda poked her head out and her pupils shrank. "Morning, Pinks!" The Alicorn landed next to the Earth pony. "Hey, Gilda, this is my gal pal, Pinkie Pie!" Gilda landed a few feet away from Pinkie. "S'up?" The not-pony asked, looking away. "Pinkie, this is my Griffon pal, Gilda!" "What's a Griffon?" "She's part lion, party eagle!" Gilda spread her fantastic wings and flew closer to Rainbow. "And all awesome! RAWR!" The two friends hoof-bumped...or sort of hoof-bumped. Griffons don't have hooves. "Gilda's my best friend from Junior Speedsters Flight Camp," Rainbow continued. "Hey, remember the chant?" "Yea, they made us recite it every day. I'll never get that lame thing out of my head." "Sooo..." Rainbow gave Gilda a half-hopeful, half-devious smile. Gilda rolled her eyes and sighed. "Only for you, Princess Dash." They flew up for the air and began to recite their old words, Rainbow with excitement and enthusiasm, Gilda with boredom. "Junior Speedsters are our lives, sky-bound soars and daring dives, Junior Speedsters, it's our quest to someday be the very best!" Pinkie giggle-snorted at the end, which Rainbow smiled at, but Gilda seemed annoyed by. "That WAS awesome! And it gave me a great idea for a prank! Gilda, you game?" Pinkie asked. "Well, I groove on a good prank as much as the next Griffon, but Dash promised me that we'd get a flying session in this morning," Gilda shrugged, flying up. Did I? I don't remember... "Gilda just got here! We'll catch up with you later!" Later... "Wow, you guys almost got away from me that time!" Pinkie had followed Gilda and Rainbow Dash around Ponyville, trying to join in on their fun. Rainbow Dash was amused by Pinkie's antics, but Gilda kept trying to get rid of Pinkie. Now Pinkie was using a crazy flying contraption to fly in the air with her feathered friends. "Hey Dash, got any new flying tricks, or has the princess life made you one hundred percent old school?" Gilda smirked. "New moves?" Rainbow Dash beamed. Alicorn wings were bigger and stronger than regular Pegasus wings, which opened a new range of possibilities for the princess. "Sit back, G. This is gonna take a few!" She launched into an awesome routine, but when it ended, Pinkie was nowhere in sight. She missed my routine? Aw, man... "Where's Pinkie Pie and her crazy contraption?" "Meh, she left. She said something about being as 'busy as a bee'." Gilda and Rainbow Dash spent the whole afternoon catching up. It was just like old times! But as they flew into Ponyville, Rainbow Dash remembered something. "Ugh, I gotta take care of a few weather jobs. It shouldn't take too long, so just hang out here and I'll come find you!" "That's cool! I'm gonna go chow down!" The Griffon laughed, and Rainbow left to do her job. It turns out that one of these jobs was bursting a few dark clouds on the outskirts of Ponyville. No biggie. But...the Pegasus filly from before was watching her... "Hey, squirt! You wanna come give me a hoof with the weather?" Rainbow called down to her. The filly jumped and blushed a little. "I'd rather watch you!" The Pegasus filly called up. Rainbow smiled down and proceeded to clear the sky in...ten seconds flat. The filly applauded and cheered. Rainbow bowed. "Hey, I didn't catch your name. What was it again?" "Scootaloo!" "Cool name!" Rainbow grinned, tousling the filly's mane. "Maybe I'll see you around later. Later!" She zoomed away, leaving Scootaloo starstruck. One day I hope to be an Alicorn princess of awesomeness... "So who's this Gilda Ah've heard nothing about?" When Rainbow Dash returned to town, she saw fliers posted everywhere advertising a new party to be thrown in Gilda's honor. Pinkie Pie's work, of course. It was the day of the party, and Applejack and Rarity were exchanging bits of gossip about the guest. "I heard she's a friend of Rainbow Dash's! A Griffon! So rare!" Rarity claimed. "Actually, Rarity, Griffons are quite common in other parts of the world," Twilight corrected. "Well, I've never seen one!" "...that doesn't make them rare..." Twilight turned to Fluttershy. "You've met Gilda, right? What's she like?" "Oh, um, well...I'll tell you later, Twilight." The shy Pegasus approached Pinkie, who was greeting guests as they entered one by one. "Pinkie Pie, are you sure this is a good idea?" "Don't worry your pretty little head about mean ol' Gilda! Your Auntie Pinkie has everything under control!" Pinkie promised, patting Fluttershy's head. "I'm a year older than you..." Gilda and Rainbow Dash arrived at the party then. "C'mon, G, I'll introduce you to some of my other friends!" "Vanilla lemon drops," Gilda smiled. "Don't mind if I do!" Rainbow Dash bit her lip to stop herself from bursting into laughter. She had snuck into Sugarcube Corner hours before the party started and set up pranks. She had coated each lemon drop with a generous amount of pepper. She had expected Pinkie Pie to fall for this trick, but...now Gilda was looking for a drink to extinguish the burning sensation in her mouth. Which reminded her... "Quick, Gilda, the punch!" Rainbow giggled. She had replaced the regular cups with dribble glasses, so that the victim of the lemon drop prank would have to suffer a teensy bit longer... "And look, presents!" Everypony had brought a small gift for the princess's guest, but Rainbow had placed a gift of her own: THIS prank was meant just for Gilda. It was a container full of fake, spring up snakes! They all jumped into Gilda's face, messing up her feathers and making them poofy. For a while, the party was relatively calm. Then Pinkie Pie brought out the cake. "Can I blow out the candles?" Spike asked. Rainbow smirked. She had planned this prank for Spike! But... "Why don't we let Gilda blow out the candles? She is the guest of honor after all," Twilight reminded the dragon. But when the Griffon blew on the candles, the flames would just reappear. "Relighting blowing candles! I love that prank! What a classic!" Spike chuckled. The last straw for Gilda came when she slipped when playing Pin-the-Tail-on-the-Pony. She exploded and totally snapped. "THIS IS YOUR IDEA OF A GOOD TIME? I'VE NEVER MET A LAMER BUNCH OF DWEEBS! And Pinkie Pie, you are QUEEN LAME-O with your weak little party pranks! Did you really think that you could make me lose my cool? Princess Dash and I have TEN TIMES as much cool as the rest of you put together! C'mon Dash, we're bailing!" Rainbow didn't move an inch. "You know, Gilda, I was the one who set up all those 'weak party pranks'. I guess I'm 'Queen Lame-o'." Everypony gasped. "WHAT? C'mon Dash, you're joshing me!" Gilda gave an innocent smile. Sheesh, I thought Princess Luna was the one who was outdated. Who talks like this anymore? Rainbow raised an eyebrow. "They weren't all meant for you specifically," Rainbow continued. "It was just dumb luck that you set them all off!" "I should have known! That dribble cup had 'Rainbow Dash' written ALL over it!" Pinkie said to Spike. "NO WAY. It was Pinkie Pie! She set up this party to trip me up! To make a fool out of me!" Gilda claimed. "What? No! I threw this party to improve your attitude. I thought that it would turn that frown upside down!" Pinkie craned her neck back, looking up at Gilda. "And you sure didn't need any help making a fool of yourself! This is NOT how I thought my old friends would treat my new friends! If being cool is all you care about, then maybe you should go find some new, cool friends someplace else!" "Dash, are you kidding?" Gilda gave a forced grin. "There's nothing cooler than a princess!" Rainbow's eyes narrowed. "And if you're only friends with my BECAUSE I'm a princess, then you should really leave," The Alicorn finished. Gilda grit her teeth with rage. Wait, do Griffons have teeth? "You are such a...a flip-flop! Cool one minute, lame the next!" Everypony gasped again. "How can she talk to a princess that way?" Lyra wondered. "I don't think she can!" Carrot Top said. "Let's get her! CHARGE!" Derpy screamed, flying at Gilda. The Griffon panicked and soared from the bakery, but half a dozen ponies led by Derpy pursued. They returned two minutes later. "She got away..." "Eh, it's alright," Rainbow shrugged. "Everypony, I'm really sorry for bringing Gilda here. I had no idea how rude she was." The other ponies began muttering in agreement. "And Pinkie Pie, I'm really sorry that she ruined that awesome party you threw! Are we cool?" "No, I'm warm! There's a lot of ponies in here!" Pinkie giggled. Then she pulled the princess in for a hug. "But we are cool! There's still a whole lot of partying left to do!" And as Twilight enjoyed herself, she began to draft a letter to Princess Celestia... Back in Canterlot, Princess Celestia read the letter and began her reply. As soon as she finished her note, she headed to her secret cake chamber to partake in an afternoon snack. But as she approached the cake vault, she heard obnoxious lips smacking as they chewed cake...her cake...her eyes blazed with fury as she charged towards the intruder, her horn glowing with magical light. And the light revealed the intruder to be... "A-Auntie Celestia! This isn't what it looks like! The cake was too delicious! I couldn't resist it!" Prince Blueblood's royal lips were smeared with strawberry frosting. Celestia charged her horn with more magic, preparing to send the cake thief to the moon...but then she remembered that he was a mortal and wouldn't survive the lunar conditions. And she was a merciful, loving princess...no, she would not bring physical harm to her nephew... "Forget it," she shrugged. "Your massive gut will be your punishment in a few days. Good luck fitting into your suit for the Gala now," she smirked. ...but she could not say the same for his pride.