//------------------------------// // the double // Story: Mail Order Changeling // by odeeyou //------------------------------// Number 2481 sat in the empty caboose of the Canterlot Express Railway as it went to (obviously) Canterlot! Though they were currently based out of Ponyville, it wasn’t entirely unexpected that they might get clients from out of town. Perfectly acceptable so long as said client was willing to pay the expense of travel. Changelings were not known for their large change purses. *Change purses! Get it?* Even though he was about 3 hours out of Ponyville, he could still hear the collective groan at the horrible pun. His siblings didn’t know a good joke when they heard one. *Collective!* Groan! *Pfft!* He was the youngest of the changeling infiltrators in Ponyville. His first infiltration had been to subsume the life of a retired comedian in Canterlot, which unfortunately he’d never gotten the chance to do. He’d gotten lots of practice though! And learned lots of pony culture from it! Oh look! The train was pulling into the station! Time to get to work. Stepping out of the caboose, the rest of the high class ponies getting off the train all gave him a wide berth, but were otherwise content to ignore him. Just as well. A disguise would only make him look guilty of replacing a pony, even if he didn’t. Few changelings were known for their creativity, hence why they didn’t create their own original pony disguise. An old white male unicorn stallion wearing a black suit and dour expression stood at the end of the platform holding a sign saying ‘Mr. Buggy’ Good thing too, given he hadn’t been paying a lot of attention when he’d been given orders for his current job. The collective didn’t do him much good anymore since a lot of changelings had a tendency of blocking him out. And wasn’t that awesome? He had a name now! He strolled up to the stallion with his best dour buggy impression. “I am Mr. Buggy.” The stallion nodded and put away the sign. “Excellent. I am Silver Platter. Come with me please.” The newly named Mr. Buggy walked alongside his new employer into the city of Canterlot silently for a few minutes before he gave up waiting for details into his new job. “Look Silvey- I can call you Silvey right? Look Silvey…” He hooked a leg around Silver’s neck and pulled him close. “I don’t know if you know how this works but if you want this relationship to go anywhere you’re going to have to give a little and I’m just not feeling the love here, know what I mean?” Silver Platter winced and tried to pull away- “Is it my appearance? I can change that you know.” One flash of green fire and Mr. Buggy took the form of a fashion model he’d seen once in a magazine that most ponies agreed was very attractive. Ms. Fleur de Lis. “Song queue!” Unfortunately the shapeshift carried his original voice since he didn’t know what she sounded like. “I want to kiss you all over! And over and again! I want to kiss you all over” He then proceeded to dance provocatively around him. Silver Platter bit back a curse when several flashes from a camera went off across the street by a well-known reporter. He’d be hearing from his wife later for this. “Come on! I’ve seen heart songs before! Where are my backup singers?” “Please stop!” Silver Platter bit out and glared at the glamoured changeling. “My job is to bring you to my Lady! She is to be your employer!” Flash of green fire and Mr. Buggy was standing next to him again with a very surprised expression on his face. “Your lady, huh?” He rubbed his fang ponderously and gave Silver a once over. “I guess you ARE at that age where the wife needs a strong manly changeling to help around with house with certain things.” He shrugged, missing the purpling face of the pony in front of him. “It seems kind of unnecessary though. I’m told they make pills for that now.” “YOU STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE!” Silver Platter now stood in front of him with a large glare and a larger pulsating vein in his forehead. “That doesn’t look healthy Silvey…” “My Lady is how I address her Royal Highness! I am her butler! She is to be your employer!” He shouted at the Changeling before backing off with a huff. “Her Royal Highness?” Mr. Buggy looked around and realized just now that they were standing at the front gates of the palace. “Uh oh…” He backed up a couple steps… right into the spears of a couple of guards behind him. “Come along Mr. Buggy.” One of the guards prodded him. “You wouldn’t want you to be late for your appointment with the Princess.” “…oh honeycomb!” - - - - - - - - - - - - Mr. Buggy looked around furiously as he was ‘escorted’ into the palace by the guards. Mostly he was looking for convenient bolt holes should things turn any more pear shaped than they already were. He thought he was to be taken straight to the throne room… only to be walking past it to what looked like a smaller door next to it. With a shove, he was pushed inside and the door closed behind him. There, in the center of the small room stood Princess Celestia in all her splendor and practically radiating her own light. A quick glance about the room showed no light fixtures. She really WAS radiating her own light. She also looked rather anxious about something and seemed rather relieved at his arrival. “Finally.” She exclaimed with an exhale and a smile. “Hello my little Po- er… Changeling.” “My student told me of her study into Changeling physiology and I am told you are capable of illusionary larger than your natural self.” Celestia declared in a manner that left no doubt or question. Mr. Buggy opened his mouth “Bu-“ “Your job-“ Celestia interrupted. “Is to take my form and sit on my throne for the next couple of hours. In return you may absorb the love directed to you from the love my ponies hold for me while on the throne. You will proceed through the…” She lifted a clip board to her face. “Fifteen petitions to the crown scheduled for this morning. You will decide on the outcomes as follows: Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. No. No. No. Tartarus No. Yes. Yes. No. Any questions?” Mr. Buggy opened his mouth “Ye-“ “Look my little Changeling.” Celestia lowered her head to give him the eye. “I have been smelling cheesecake cooking in the kitchen since I woke up this morning. It’s driving me crazy! Now take my form!” A flash of green fire and a duplicate of Celestia stood in the room. “You’ll do fine!” Celestia told him and then teleported out of the room. Temporary Replacement Celestia was left standing in what he now recognized as a disused antechamber to the throne room. There followed a long moment of confusion as he tried to piece together the past few minutes. “What?” Rather unsuccessfully at that. An adjourning door opened opposite of him and a guard stuck his head around the door. “Are you ready Princess?” With an audible gulp, he nodded and followed the guard into the throne room. The throne itself was… surprisingly comfy! For something that appeared to be made of slab marble this was nice. He bounced up and down on the throne a bit. Cushioning spell perhaps? Continuing to bounce a bit, he looked to the guard standing by the main door, which was apparently a queue as he then opened one of the large doors and allowing a beige and white mane earth pony mare into the hall. “Your highness…” The mare began with a bow. “Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. Yes. No. Yes. No. No. No. Tartarus No. Yes. Yes. No.” Answered Temporary Replacement Celestia. The mare stood looking confused at her ruler. She wasn’t emitting very much love either. Temporary Replacement Celestia looked down at the clip board at her hooves with worry. “Maybe I didn’t do that right…?” A guard shuffled up beside the throne to look at the clip board. “Um… Princess? I believe the answers are all in order to each individual petition.” “Oh.” Temporary Replacement Celestia intelligently replied. “That makes more sense than every petition getting the exact same response…” He looked at the increasingly confused mare standing in the center of the hall, “Yes.” and smiled pleasantly at the pony. The mare continued to stare confusedly. “Was it the presentation?” Temporary Replacement Celestia began to fret. “If only I had more time to practice!” He stomped her hoof irritated. “How’s this? YyyyyeeeeeEEEEEEESSSS!” The mare opened her mouth- “Perhaps it needs a song and dance number? Those make everything better!” Temporary Replacement Celestia stood from her throne and began to shuffle back and forth across the dais. “Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah… The moon… beautiful The sun… even more beautiful Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah… Oh yeah… Beautiful Oh Yeah… Oh Yeah… Good Time.” The two guards standing next to the entry doors shared a glance. “It looks like Princess Celestia is in one of her moods again.” He moved to the door. “Hold down the fort while I go warn the kitchen staff.”