//------------------------------// // 4) Loyally Raising the Bar(n) // Story: Dear Diary: Sunset Shimmer's Best Friend // by Piquo Pie //------------------------------// Day 9 of being a better person Dear Diary, Today was, quite honestly, the best day of my life. Don’t get me wrong, a lot of mundane things happened, but I think I made a big leap forward in being a better person. I’m a real friend now. I think I felt mutual love for the first time. Not kissy or familiar love. This is something I didn’t know about. It all started out pretty normally, though trying not to use my injured hand was a bit annoying. I woke up in the morning, made myself some tea and decided to read over the past few days. As I read you, I realized something. I’d gone from labeling my days from ‘of being a better pony’ to ‘of being a better person.’ It might not mean a lot to you, but I’ve been trying to think of myself as more of a person rather than a unicorn, or even a pony, for about a week now. Being stuck here, on Earth, it’s different, but it’s where I belong now. I’m finally thinking of myself as the same as everyone else here. It’s a big step. It makes it easier, and looking back on it it’s probably helped me connect with my friends. After I read you, Diary, I opened yesterday’s paper to search for some potential jobs. I figured that I’m good at selling things, and at organizing, so I should focus on jobs that would need those skills. There were a few ads looking for people to canvas for charity donations and one place that sold cell phones was looking for a sales associate. I figured that those were probably going to be my best bets, but I also prepared a resume for a smoothie shop and a pet groomer because, well, when one wants a job that’s what one needs to do. It’s the weekend and I hadn’t planned on seeing the girls, so I was surprised to see Fluttershy and Rarity coming down the street as I walked out. Apparently they wanted to see if I was interested in helping the Apple family raise a new barn. Of course I felt absolutely terrible that AJ had been hurt, but with a bad hand I wasn’t sure that I would be much help. It was Rarity who assured me that I would be able to help even if it was just with preparing and serving refreshments. They also needed a spotter, something Rarity wasn’t familiar with, but AJ had apparently assured her that I could do it without using one of my hands. It sounded like a great idea. I was eager to help the Apple family, after all AJ had gone through, and felt honored that she’d trust me with something so important. It also sounded like fun. Something new for me to experience with my new friends. I agreed, with a big grin on my face, and planned to meet at AJ’s a few hours later. It also sounded interesting. I’d heard of barn raising before, but the idea of getting a building built in a single day sounded challenging. Regrettably, I had to let Rarity and Fluttershy know that I might be a bit late late because I needed to apply to a few jobs around town. They understood, and Rarity texted Applejack while Fluttershy began asking what kind of jobs I was looking for. I went over the short list and she offered to put in a good word with the pet groomer. Apparently, while she didn’t work there all the time, they would call her if an employee wasn’t able to make it in or they were having an exceptionally busy day. Pet grooming wasn’t my first choice, and I said as much, but I was honored that she’d be willing to vouch for me. I let her know that too. It also occurred to me that if I got to work with Fluttershy some, then maybe it would be a bit more fun. And let’s face it, if I can find a job that’s sometimes fun it’ll be a huge bonus. By the time we were done, Rarity was done texting. She realized that she didn’t have my number and I explained that my phone had been broken when I’d gotten attacked the other day. I said I’d get her number when I got a new phone. To my surprise, Rarity offered to give me one of her old ones. Apparently, and somewhat unsurprising in retrospect, she had been keeping up on the most fashionable phones and had two old ones that she kept in case hers broke. It was very kind of her and I couldn’t say no. While I hated thinking of myself as a charity case I think I’ve grown more accustomed to receiving help from others over the past week. Plus, it does help me stay in contact with the girls. I even got a text message from Pinkie who wished me the happiest, most awesomest dreams before I started writing, Diary. Corny? Yes. But it’s nice smiling before writing and going to bed. I don’t think I’ve done that in a long time. Friends really are special. Back to my day, Fluttershy and Rarity didn’t have anything to do until the barn raising, and Rarity had to stop by her house to get me her old phone, so they joined me for my errands. We talked about school and classes, something I’ve been neglecting, and we ended up talking about some of the work that we were having trouble with. It was… normal. I think normal is the right word. Whatever it was, it felt good being able to help friends who were a bit lost on a subject and hearing different points of view on history, even if I didn’t care about human history that much. We stopped by the charity jobs first. I figured if I could, I’d rather do some good to make up for my past impact on the world (two worlds?). Two of the charities said they didn’t accept minors, and the third had already filled the position. It was a bit of a letdown, but the one that turned me away said I should try again in a few weeks when they had more openings. We stopped by Rarity’s to get the phone before going to the phone store, Verdant Horizons. They put my application in a drawer with a dozen others. No questions, no interest, but the manager did ask if Rarity was applying as well. He had the creepiest grin. To her credit Rarity managed to tastefully turn the manager’s less-than-pure interest into a quick and speedy number change for her old phone, which then also got transferred over to my plan. After we left, we both decided that that job would be at the bottom of the list. Rarity had to go to the barn raising, but Fluttershy offered to stay with me and give the dog groomer her recommendation. I insisted that she go help with the barn raising, but she said she wasn’t all that comfortable moving heavy things around. I think she also wanted to make sure I got at least one job offer. We stopped by the smoothie place because it was close by and on the way. I also felt like having some extra energy might be good for a barn raising. Unfortunately, it was packed when we got there. Still, the manager, a nice older lady, said she liked me and would call me back for an interview. She even gave me a free smoothie, apples and oranges, before I left. I split the smoothie with Fluttershy. We agreed it would probably be a nice, if busy, place to work. It might also earn me a little extra in tips, though it also occurred to us that I might not get any from the schoolkids. Now, in regards to the groomers, I’ve never been the biggest fan of pets. I mean, I like them, they’ve just always been more work than reward in my opinion. But when I opened that door, I saw the cutest little chinchilla. Seriously, I actually felt the need to squee. It was totally unexpected. I don’t think I’ve felt like that since I was a filly. I must have had the biggest blush. Then Fluttershy came over and began talking to it in the dumbest baby voices. The best part was how the chinchilla ate it up. Ooooooh, if working there means I get to see cute little pets like that, I think things would work out just fine. Fluttershy and I managed to pull ourselves together and find the manager, a large black-skinned man in his thirties named Darien. Apparently he and Fluttershy were on pet name basis (pun entirely intended), Darien calling out to ‘Shy’ before she could call out to ‘Dari.’ It was cute, especially how Fluttershy hid her blush behind her bangs. Fluttershy explained that I was there for the the job and he looked over my resume. I didn't have anything specific about animals, but he did like my joke about how they don’t run away from me in terror. After a quick interview, he offered to see how I handled a labrador that would be coming in in a half an hour. He understood that I wouldn’t be able to actually groom pets for a week or two because of my hand, but he just wanted to see how I handled the dog since he was a bit energetic and unruly. I couldn’t miss this opportunity; if I could get a dog to behave, then it looked like I had a guaranteed job. I told Fluttershy to go on ahead to the barn raising and that I’d catch up. She wished me luck and popped out before sticking her head back in to remind me that if anything happened like the other day, with the attack, then I should use the phone. It caught me off guard, and I felt a bit betrayed. I fully realize I had no reason to feel that way. I just, I don’t know. I felt like her recommendation was given out of a sense of friendship and wanting me to be happy. It’s probably true. It’s just. Ehhhhh I guess when her kindness got paired with the attack, and Applejack getting hurt, I felt weird. I was suddenly bothered by being weak and unable to defend myself. I tried not to let it show, but I think she realized she’d said something wrong. She hadn’t, but I’d reacted weird. She looked at me like I had confused her and then placed an arm on my shoulder like she was apologizing or something. I said I would be safe and that I’d use my new phone it if I needed it, which is partially true. But then I turned around, running from the weird mix of helplessness, thankfulness, and anger that I felt. While we waited, Darien showed me around and explained what the job would entail. I would still need some hands-on training for the best ways to wash and handle animals but everything seemed simple enough. The lab ended up being a half-hour late and no other pet owners came in; apparently it was a slow day. I was just getting ready to ask if I could come in another time so I could help AJ with the barn raising when the dog arrived. It was a pure black lab, one of the ones that was so happy and energetic it could hit its own head with its tail. As soon as he entered the shop, he booked it to me and began jumping up onto my chest to kiss my face. I was so startled that I yelled at it to ‘stop’ before it knocked me over. To my great surprise it did, in fact, stop jumping on me. But when I looked down, the poor thing didn’t know what to do; it was looking at me with a sad and confused face and its tail was still wagging excessively. It was just so happy to see a new person and at the same time scared that it had done something wrong. I held my good hand down for it to sniff and lick as I told it how good he was for stopping. Oh, he loved that, and he proceeded to lick me until I was sure he was taking skin off. I faintly reminded of when I had made Snips and Snails pledge their loyalty to me, back when I was feeding my darker impulses. They’d bowed before me and kissed my outstretched hand, the same hand the dog was now licking. They kissed it and pledged their loyalty to me for all of time. Boys can be so dramatic. Dogs just don’t know any better. Still, it was a memory that I would have rather forgotten in my new life. Somehow, I think the dog realized I was feeling weird and whined at me. I patted him on the head and gave him a kiss before telling him ‘good boy’ again and telling him to sit in a commanding voice. He did, and I got the job, eight hours every weekend during the day and four hours Mondays and Thursdays after school. I’d even get to switch with other employees if we could agree on a time. I sound a little bland there, don’t I? I won’t lie, I don’t really know how to think about it. On one hand, it’s a job, a decent job, and the people seem nice and there will be lots of cute, innocent pets to work with. On the other, it felt a little too natural commanding that dog. I felt, well, a little bit like my old self. Not the me before I went all crazy evil, I mean a bit like I was when I took my first few steps down that dark, spiraling staircase. Maybe, maybe I should talk to Fluttershy about it. She’s worked with a lot of animals and would know what it might mean about me and what I can do. Though, maybe I’m overreacting. I gave myself some time to think on it and I still don’t know if I should ask Fluttershy for help. If I haven’t made a decision by the time I get to school tomorrow I guess I’ll have to ask her. Better safe than sorry. The manager gave me some paperwork to fill out and I left for the barn raising. I hadn’t been out to Applejack’s before, and I took the bus to save some time. Even with the bus, it was a fifteen-minute walk up the property. I wonder how early the Apples have to get up to make the bus. Don’t they also do a bunch of farm chores in the morning, too? I’m sure I heard Applejack mentioning something about it. On the way up, I heard some pretty decent country singing, though I couldn’t make out the words until I came around the last bend. When I did, dozens of people were just finishing their song about being friends and family of the Apples as they put on the last bits of paint. It… looked good. Everyone seemed to be having a good time too. I was, am, kind of sad I missed it. I mean, building a barn doesn’t exactly sound like my go-to weekend activity, but working together with everyone, my new friends, singing new songs, it sounded interesting, fun. It sounded like I should have been there, but I wasn’t and that really seemed to bother me. I’d even broken a promise to be there. Oh, everyone was happy to see me, of course, and excited to know if I got the job. AJ even offered to make a celebratory apple pie. Didn’t that just make me feel great. She’d gotten hurt because of me, I’d shown up late to help her out, then she offers to make me a pie. I’d pretty much convinced myself that I was a pretty lousy friend, so I politely declined the pie and offered to help with some chores and the cleanup. Apparently, I can’t do that right either because they wouldn’t hear of it. That’s when I did something that I really didn’t want to do. While everyone was enjoying some food and drink, I asked to talk to Applejack on the side. She didn’t mind, but I could tell that I was making her uncomfortable. It took me a moment but, away from the others, I was able to tell her how sorry I was that I hadn’t made it to the barn raising. Applejack didn’t get it. She tried to say that she understood, that I had important things to do, that the barn was raised just fine without me. That last point, though, that was part of what bothered me. I broke down there, behind one of the thousands of apple trees that I couldn’t tell apart. I just fell to my knees and cried in front of her. She was probably confused, hell, I know I was, but she got down on her knees with me and put an arm around my shoulder. It didn’t take me long to get myself under control, but it was still embarrassing. I took a big breath and let her know that I really, truly, from the bottom of my heart, valued her friendship and the kindness she had shown me. She just listened intently as I explained how bad I felt that she had been hurt. I’d tried to tell her before but I hadn’t let my heart show that I meant it, substituting honesty with politeness. Unable to hold back, I continued to tell her about how I occasionally glimpse the dark path that I traveled before and how I feared turning back into a monster. I think she got it this time. She pulled me in close. That’s when I told her how much I had wanted to make the barn raising when I found out about it. I didn’t even realize it at the time, but it was a way for me to make amends for more than just her getting hurt. It was a way for me to show just how much I wanted friends and was willing to work for them. It was the only way I could see to help ensure her friendship. It might have been narrow-sighted, and there were probably more ways, but I had failed to help in the one way I really knew how when presented with the opportunity. You know what she did then? She ruffled my hair. It was sisterly, I think? It felt, well, I don’t really know how it felt, accepted maybe. The thing that hair-ruffling did though was completely throw me off. I didn’t know how to react. I just ended up sitting there, listening to her as she held me and explained things to me that I doubt I could have ever figured out. Applejack explained that being hurt once, missing a barn raising, or being unable to help with a single favor didn’t matter. Apparently she had learned that the hard way in the past; she’d driven herself way too hard trying to help others while she neglected herself, even refusing help. I had tried to make it to the barn raising, honestly tried, and she could see that and that’s what mattered. She was happier that I had a job, that I wouldn’t end up homeless, than if I had shown up to help her. Applejack explained that that’s the thing about being friends. You aren’t always able to be there for each other, and sometimes you might even hurt each other. But honestly working together, trying to be there for each other, doing nice things, and even just having fun. That’s what friendship is about. It’s the journey as much as the destination. If it was really that big of a deal to me that I help her, that I show my appreciation through my actions, then AJ said that I should arrange to come by sometime. They’d love to have some help on the farm and, in return, I’d stay for some farm-fresh Apple Family home cooking, complete with pie and hanging out when she would otherwise be doing chores. I think that was the first time I really felt something between us. A close, personal bond. I cared for AJ, not just because she could help me, not just because we were trying to be friends. I cared for her because I cared about her happiness, just like she cared about mine. And maybe we would fight sometime in the future, maybe we wouldn’t always be together. But if we ever have problems between us, or are separated, I feel like I could always come back to her and talk to her honestly as a friend. I could let it all out without fearing like I’d be driving her away. It didn’t sink in at the time but, I love Applejack. I mean I love her like a friend. In fact, she’s probably the most important person to me. Being able to admit that to myself, allowing me to feel that way, I don’t think I’ve ever felt so good. And now that I think about it, I have four other girls, each so very different from each other but so kind, so honest, so funny, and so loyal, each offering me the same kind of friendship. Each offered its own unique twists and turns and surprises. I can’t even grasp the possibilities and, in a way, I’ve been thinking about it for days. I feel like the world is open to me now, it’s not just me, Sunset Shimmer. I’m a part of something now. I’m crying a little bit as I write this, but my smile is bigger and happier than ever before. I was crying with Applejack as well. She seemed happy and we both began to laugh for absolutely no reason. At some point we couldn’t laugh any more. She helped me up and we walked back to our friends, arms around each other's shoulders, laughing and crying like the biggest idiots you could imagine. I can’t imagine being happier. And I know, that no matter what happens, as long as I’m with friends, everything is going to be okay. And do you know what, Diary? I think I might share you. I want to be honest with my friends, and sharing you could help us become closer. You mean so much to me, but now, so do my friends. Would that be okay with you? Do you want to share some friends with me? Maybe I’ll wait for a while. Yeah, I think I want to get to the point where I feel about the rest of the girls like I do about AJ. I love you, Diary. I couldn’t have made it this far without you. -Good night.