//------------------------------//
// Chapter 1 - You Might Recognize Me From Such Fanfics as "The Dardanelles Are Missing" and "Calling All Shut-Ins!" 
// Story: And So? 
// by Rokas 
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	A profound stench wafted up his nose and fired enough neurons to jump start his unconscious brain. Vague thoughts and impressions fluttered through his mind as his consciousness begrudgingly reached for the other senses, and a grunt of irritation was uttered out of reflex. What the Hell is that smell? Rhyming, yay. It's too early for rhyming. What time is it? It's too early, whatever it is. So on his stream of thought moved, accelerating as slumber seeped away and he became more aware. Sunlight on my face? I didn't leave the curtains open. Wait, I'm not lying on my bed.
This sudden realization was soon followed by a flurry of sensory data that flooded his mind, telling him that something was inordinately wrong as his memories of the night before had no match to the information that his nerves now reported. His eyes snapped open immediately, though they closed again in an instant as the brilliant sunlight was nearly blinding to the sensitive orbs. Okay, slowly now, he told himself, cautiously working his eyelids so that they stretched out and let in more light so his pupils could adjust, before he finally peeled the fleshy lids apart.
The scene that met his rapidly adjusting sight was one that confused him. The first thing he recognized were trees, tall, gnarled, and strewn with vines that seemed to form a nearly solid wall of flora around the small clearing he lied in. Confused, he glanced around and saw that this was only true of half of the clearing's edge, as the other side of the crescent shaped gap in the forest was the shoreline of a swamp that stretched off to his left. The trees in that direction were more loosely packed, but nevertheless cut off his line of sight after only a few dozen yards, and so the figure had no idea just where he was, other than it was somewhere in the wilderness.
Well, that's great, there's only a few hundred thousand square miles of wilderness left in Florida, the figure thought, with a mix of sarcasm, exaggeration, confusion, and growing panic at the bizarre situation. Okay, I need to stay calm. Think man, think! Am I sure I wasn't out drinking or something last night? I know I actually haven't been out to a bar ever in my life – well, except that one hole in the wall. But no, not recently, I went to sleep in my bedroom last night. So why the frell am I here?
A few moments of thought brought no revelation to his mind, and so the figure turned to look over his body to see if he was at least dressed. Thus he received another shock as he saw that he was not only naked, but that his body had been altered, as well. The shape was entirely wrong, as were the four limbs that ended in blunt hooves instead of hands and feet. Instead of pale skin, he saw a green coat of something that would be described as hair or light fur.
You've got to be flippin' kidding me. No, no way, this isn't real. I'm not that insane yet, am I? By now he had noticed his breathing had accelerated, and he could feel his body filling with adrenalin as the confused panic rolled through his mind like a runaway freight train. Just as it started to reach a crescendo, however, he closed his eyes and took in a deep breath. Okay, calm down. Panic never helps, he thought, using his willpower and experience to counter the fear and bring his mind under control. Okay, you're going to open your eyes. And then you're going to pay very close attention to everything. Look for any indication that this isn't real. Because it isn't. Oh God please don't let me be stuck in my own mind, please!
The panic had started rising again as his train of thought drifted, but the figure quickly wrestled himself back under control again. He slowly opened his eyes and then took a long look around the clearing. Nothing had changed, though now that he was paying more attention he picked up on several details that his first pass had missed. Chiefly, he noted that a green blunt object had replaced his nose in his stereo vision, and that it seemed to be longer than the old facial feature. He was not particularly surprised at this as he noted his body still very much looked as it had before, and so it fit his mind's readjusting map of his body's form. His gaze took in this form more intently now, and he saw that in addition to the aforementioned changes he sported three new limbs he had never possessed before: a pair of wings and a brown tail.
So I'm a pegasus. Appropriate, I guess, for my madness. The figure had to force back the fear again, though it was easier this time as he started to mentally adjust to the situation. Adaptation is key to survival, he thought, picking up on the subtle changes occurring in his paradigm. Okay, so adapt. Adapt. Adapt. Sweet mother of pi in all of its blessed irrationality, what the Hell is going on?
And so on it went for some time with the forest green pegasus lying on his left side while his thoughts raced back and forth, vacillating between panic and attempts to calm himself down. He eventually began to get a handle on his emotions, and soon he drifted into pondering his predicament. So how did this happen? This isn't something that just occurs, it's more like something out of a bad fanfic-
His eyes widened, and then screwed shut as he moved a foreleg up to press the hoof against his elongated face. Oh mother of God, no. No. No no no no no. Please don't tell me that in the vast multiverse that another me has succumbed to writing this drivel. He opened his eyes at that, and then sighed as he noted that a pair of saddle bags were sitting near him. He had seen them before, of course, but the panic at his transformation and apparent insanity had kept him from being concerned with them. Now, however, he shifted his unfamiliar body up and tucked his four legs underneath it so he could lean his head over and grasp the bags' cloth back strap in his mouth. Oh yeah, this is gonna be fun, he sarcastically mused, as he pulled the bags around until they were in front of him and then left them sitting upright on the ground. So what has other-me left for my enrichment? A portal gun? Atomic batteries? Muffins? He thought, as he studied one of the latches holding the bags closed, and then pondered how he was supposed to open it without fingers.
Hm, I always did like the idea that the hooves involve a bit of magic, the figure thought, and he reached forward with his right foreleg to press the tip of the hoof against the cloth strap. He imagined it holding on, and much to his relief, it did. The grip was weak, certainly nothing compared to the strength even a geek's fingers could exert, but it was strong enough that the pegasus figured it would work well enough for most daily uses, so long as he was gentle and patient. Well, myth confirmed. Thanks for the idea, CardsLafter; I'm sorry the other me is ripping you off, but I'm grateful for it. 
Thus encouraged, the pegasus manipulated the latch on the bag open and then looked inside. He was mildly surprised to see that the container was mostly empty, holding only a smaller bag that looked suspiciously like a coin purse. He carefully dipped his head into the sack and grasped the top of the smaller bag with his teeth and then pulled it up. Its hefty weight and the glint of coinage when he opened it confirmed the theory, and the figure pulled the small bag open a bit more so he could poke the edge of his hoof in and nudge the coins around in order to get a count. Ten coins, but some with larger denominations, he thought as he counted the totals up. About twenty, it looks like. Is that a lot? I wonder what the inflation rate is here? Wait, isn't that about how much I had in my wallet when I went to bed? Is that Celestia's cutie mark? He bent his neck down further upon noticing the embellishment on the coins, and a closer examination showed that indeed, the mark he recognized from a certain show was upon one facing, and an equally familiar and royal mark sat on the other. Wasn't that in another fanfic I read? Great, other-me is just ripping off left and right now.
He sighed as he returned the coins to the purse and then closed and placed it back into the right side of the saddlebag set. The pegasus then turned his attention to the left hand – or would it be left hoof? And which left hoof? He mused – side and opened it up.
Inside sat two objects, both of which he was rather surprised to see. One was his hat, a large floppy design the inner label proclaimed a “HAT, SUN HOT WEATHER”, but he personally thought of as a “swamp hat”. He had purchased in an army surplus store during a trip to visit friends, and it held strong sentimental value because of that. Thus the primarily green digital camouflage was a familiar sight, and it steadied his nerves to have the favored headgear available. The pegasus quickly removed the hat from the bag and then spent a few moments wrestling it onto his head. His inarticulate fore hooves, mane, and the upthrust ears atop his head provided barriers, but soon enough the hat was perched carefully and steadily atop his head, his pony ears folding down until they were horizontal, underneath the brim. He then cinched the cloth strap hanging beneath his chin so that the hat would remain secure in even a strong wind, and then turned his attention to the other item in the saddlebag.
He found himself mildly confused at its appearance; it looked similar to an MP3 player, but it matched no design he could remember having seen. It also lacked earphones or buds that would allow a body to listen to it, and this perplexed the pensive pegasus even more. He looked around the inside of the saddlebag for a moment to see if it sported any pockets that could contain such an accoutrement, but detected nothing. A mystery for later, I think, he thought with a shrug, and then closed up the bags and secured their latches. Time to see what I can do.
On that thought, the pegasus focused his attention back to his own body. He took careful note of his limbs and position, and then slowly started to gather his hooves underneath him to push up. Gradually he started to rise, his muscles protesting at the drawn-out movement, but the male ignored the minor pain as he worked on keeping his balance. It proved rather easy to accomplish on all fours, and soon he was all the way up, providing a slightly better view of the area. Not that it helps much, the figure thought before he carefully started to move around. Much to his surprise, the alien feeling of his new body fell away rather quickly, almost as if the muscles and nerve endings were already conditioned to work in a quadrupedal body. A sudden thought entered his mind, and the pony shuddered at what it implied. Oh God, please don't let me have displaced some other soul from his body, he thought, shifting worriedly on his hooves. After a moment the fear died down, and his reason once again prevailed, reminding him of the items he'd found. The hat is yours, and you have about as much real money as you did last night. And I doubt an MP3 player would be on a pegasus. So just calm down, relax, and try not to freak out.
With that thought, the new pony took a few deep breaths to calm his nerves before he resumed moving around to get the feel of his new body. Over the next fifteen minutes he walked, cantered, galloped, and ran while turning around to stay in the small clearing and clear of the marsh off to one side. Well, that was easy enough, the pegasus thought, as he stopped near his bags to catch his breath. I'm hardly even winded. At least if I have to go through with any of this I won't have to be wheezing like a fatty. He felt buoyed by this idea, and he smiled a bit as he bent his head down to grab the bags. Now let's see how well I can get these things on by myself without hands.
His first thought was to simply turn and try to place the bags on his back, and he started to do precisely this when he caught sight of a break in his green coat. Oh, hey, I even got one of those, he thought as he moved his rear leg out a bit to get a better look at the cutie mark adorning his side. It was a bit more complex than most he remembered from the show, consisting of an open book, while the book itself was superimposed over an upturned sword so that only the hilt and the top of the blade were visible from behind the rest of the mark.
What the Hell does that mean? The stallion thought, furrowing his brows. I guess the book means writing, but the sword? My obsession with military stuff? Is that even a talent? He snorted at the thought and mentally shrugged off the mark's meaning for the moment. Ah, it can wait. Right now I need to get these things on and then head for the closest town. Which is almost certainly Ponyville, given the trope I'm in. He stifled a sigh at the thought, and instead went back to working with the saddlebags he still held in his mouth.
It took several more minutes of work to finally seat the bags properly, the difficulty of lacking hands compounded by the unfamiliarity of his body's form and the lack of correct methodology. He nevertheless persevered, and soon enough had the bags secured along his back, nestled just abaft his wings. There, I hope those stay in place, he thought. The last thing I need is to have to do this again, or having them bump into the wings.
At that thought the stallion realized he had forgotten about the extra set of appendages, and seeing nothing else pressing at the moment, he focused his kinesthetic sense towards the limbs. Not having had any in his previous body, the new pony found it hard to get a mental hold on the muscles that laid within. 
A memory hit him just then, and the pegasus smiled a bit as he started to fill in the missing sensory information with his own overactive imagination. He was only half surprised when the limbs attached to his sides twitched, and his smile spread into a full grin as the movement was enough for his brain to get a hold of the nerves. He started to send conscious commands back along the same pathways to make the wings twitch more, allowing him more familiarity with the sensations and feedback from the alien appendages. Soon he felt confident enough to spread them, and he did so slowly in order to avoid spraining something should he do it wrong.
It took nearly a minute, but the stallion was looking back at his wings with a curious feeling he couldn't quite pin down. These things are a bit big, ain't they? He wondered, noting that the wings seemed larger than the renditions he'd seen on the show. Meh, maybe it's just the difference between watching the animation and actually being here? Maybe all of their wings are larger here? He shrugged his shoulders, noting that his wings shifted with the motion. Ah well, another trivial tidbit, he thought as he folded the wings back up, again moving slowly to make sure there were no problems.
His thoughts shifted back to his situation as the novelty of the new limbs was put aside. I should be on my way before daylight fades, the stallion reasoned, taking a look up at the daylit sky to see where the sun was, and soon found it to be rather high in its arc. So it's around noon then, which means that I have about half a day left. Now... which way to go? A glance around the edge of the clearing revealed some more details, including several openings that looked to be game trails. He briefly wondered if he should try flying up to get his bearings, but decided against it since he had no idea how to fly even a mechanical aircraft, let alone with actual flesh and blood wings. Out in the wilderness is no place to try out new and possibly dangerous travel techniques.
A sound of something snapping reached his ears just then, and the figure froze briefly before whipping his head around to look about the clearing. He saw nothing out of the ordinary, but something in his gut started to scream that he was being watched. Crap. It figures I'd be in the Everfree Forest; the trees are a dead giveaway. Why didn't I notice that sooner? What the frell is out there? His thoughts raced on multiple tracks as his eyes made another scan of the area, and the pegasus finally decided that discretion was the better part of valor as he slowly turned and trotted towards a trail that he thought led west.
Another noise, this one of a large body moving through the brush followed by a ground-shaking thump, caught his attention. The stallion paused briefly to glance back and saw that a manticore had leaped into the clearing from a hiding spot in the trees. Had he not moved off when he did, the beast would have surely taken him in its pounce, though the grace was minimal as the huge leonine creature was only a few meters away.
Not that the stallion stayed to measure the distance. The sight of the manticore was enough to trigger his survival response, and he turned and ran off at full speed along the path he'd chosen while the burly predator roared and then gave chase.
His choice proved to be fortuitous, as the narrow trail was barely wide enough for the pegasus, which left the wide-framed beast hunting him to bulldoze its way through the underbrush lining the path, slowing it down. The pony didn't pause to think on this, though, as he was keenly focused on making sure he didn't stumble or run into anything. On this went for a period of time that he would later swore lasted an eternity and a half, but soon enough the trail lead to another, larger path that was almost wide enough to be called a road.
The pegasus paused in his headlong dash, knowing he had gained ground on the manticore. He took a look around and then cursed softly to himself as he saw that there were no other small game trails nearby, and the wide path he stood on would easily accommodate the ravening beast hot on his tail. Maybe I can outrun him on a straightaway, the figure thought as he arbitrarily took a left along the main path and then bolted off, pushing himself to a not inconsiderable ground speed.
He was hundred yards away when the manticore burst through the last of the underbrush and stopped to gain its bearings. The stallion glanced back and felt a bit of relief at seeing the distance, hoping that it would prove too much for the beast to overcome. This hope was dashed in an instant, however, when the manticore spotted him and then set off in a gait that belied its size. The pony's lead slowly eroded, and soon he was feeling panic rise as he could hear the beast only a few yards behind him.
Okay, I'm screwed, the pegasus thought, as he took a turn in the path as hard as he could, his hooves digging into the loamy soil. The manticore barely slowed as it used its cat-like agility to easily handle the corner, and it roared as it finally got close enough to take another leap at its prey.
The pony had glanced back at the noise, and upon seeing the manticore flying through the air at him, his instincts kicked on full throttle. He jumped into the air and unfurled his wings in a heartbeat and then slammed the limbs down hard, propelling him forward and upward just a hair's breadth ahead of the manticore's claws, leaving the beast to yelp in surprise and pain as it missed its target and instead slammed into the soft dirt of the trail.
Several moments passed before the pegasus realized what had happened, and he glanced to his back in shock to see that his wings were working almost on their own. As he became aware of them, though, whatever automatic instinct that had been working in his head shut down, and he yelped as suddenly the limbs went limp and he started to drop. Okay, flap! Flap flap flap flap flap! He mentally screamed at himself, and soon enough his wings were obeying the urgent commands. After a few moments, the figure calmed down and then laughed a bit as he extended his wings wide and just glided a bit to keep from tiring the muscles. Jumpin' jackrabbit on a bicycle, I'm doing it, I'm flying! He thought, feeling giddy as the adrenalin started to wear off. I guess the drivers were pre-installed on the hardware, all I needed to do was find them, he mused with a chuckle.
The mirth died as he heard a now-familiar roar behind him, and the pegasus glanced back again to see that the fearsome manticore had taken to the air as well. It rode on large, bat-like wings that extended from its forelegs and sides on long boney spars. Even as the green pony looked on, the beast pumped its wings and started to gain speed.
“Oh, come on!” The pony shouted, and then turned his head back forward so he could see where he was going. The ground was a bit undefined to his eyes due to his unfamiliarity with flight and observing landmarks from above, but he could see the clouds in the air well enough. He spied one gray-bottomed cumulus that seemed especially close, if at a higher altitude.  Maybe I can lose him if I fly through that, the pegasus thought, and he pumped his wings harder as he angled upwards. However, turning to head for the cloud proved to be an issue, namely because he wasn't sure how he was supposed to do it. Come on, isn't there a tutorial or something? He flippantly thought in brief annoyance. How do pegasi turn? He admitted he didn't quite know, but after a second of thought he remembered that he did know how aircraft turned. Rudders and ailerons, he remembered, and then glanced backwards again. He ignored the gaining manticore and instead looked at his wings and brown tail to see if they could be of any help. None of the three limbs looked like they could do the things he wanted, however, but he resolved himself to try it anyway as he returned his head back to its forward and upright position. Right, let's see if imagination can help again. Okay, imagine just the tips of the wings, twisting ever so slightly...
His luck seemed to hold out as he felt the wings adjust to the mental commands, and the pegasus spared a quick grin as he turned and aligned with the cloud. The snarl coming from behind wiped the grin off of his muzzle and he quickly began to pump his wings again, pressing himself hard to keep ahead of the beast. His effort paid off and within moments he reached the cloud.
Unfortunately, he had forgotten that clouds and pegasi reacted differently to one another in this world, and instead of soaring through an insubstantial patch of condensate he found himself impacting on the bottom of the cumulus. The cloud acted like a soft pillow and arrested his momentum before it rebounded and tossed him down towards the ground. Even worse, the cloud had an electric charge that promptly zapped straight into his body as soon as he touched it, and the pegasus screamed in pain as the jolt knocked him senseless for a moment. Helpless, he fell downward, his outwardly splayed wings the only thing slowing his descent.
Clarity came back to the green pony soon enough as he felt a huge paw wrap around his rear legs, jerking him to a stop upside down in mid-air. His eyes snapped open and saw that the manticore had caught him, and was even now slathering its lips with a large tongue while it pumped its wings to remain hovering. Mindful of the chase its prey had given it, the beast simply decided to devour the pony then and there, and it swung its mouth wide open as it worked to raise its foreleg – difficult given that it had part of the wing attached but it managed – and then prepared to drop the pegasus into its maw.
The green stallion trembled as he felt fear start to overwhelm him. Yet just as he was about to surrender to the terror, a different emotion arose in defiant challenge; rage. No, he angrily thought, as adrenalin surged through him once again, bringing new strength. The terror evaporated before the heat of the anger he felt towards the beast that held him, that dared to want his life, and the pony's eyes narrowed as he was brought closer to the manticore's maw. No I am not going to go down that easily! With this thought, he twisted his torso in a human-like manner and cocked back his right foreleg as he brought the hoof up and aimed it.
The manticore paused in raising its prey up as it felt the prey in its paw start to shift, and it turned its attention to the green pony briefly before the pegasus let loose with his punch. A war scream erupted from the stallion's throat as he slammed the hoof forward and into the tip of the manticore's nose, his mind recording it in the slow motion of an adrenalin rush, and he felt grim satisfaction upon hearing and feeling cartilage snap from the blow.
A scream of pain and shock from the beast nearly deafened the pegasus, though he found that the least of his problems as he was suddenly falling again after being reflexively released. Time still seemed sluggish to him, however, and so the green pony found it easy enough to twist his body and spread his wings wide. He felt them bite into the air and then quickly turned them up, changing his angle of attack so that he pulled out of his dive. Part of him wanted to resume running, but the rage in his heart demanded something more, and he continued his maneuver until he was climbing again, heading almost straight up towards the manticore as it hovered, oblivious to its prey's movements. The pegasus grimaced in feral glee at this as he pumped his wings to gain speed, and he held both forelegs up and in front of him as he aimed his body towards his target.
Hooves impacted on soft, tender, sensitive flesh a split second later. The pegasus felt tissue rupture and tear even through his thick hooves, and he felt a bout of sympathy for the manticore while he rebounded from the impact zone. The sympathy died quickly enough as the beast's reflexes made it kick out its rear legs to defend itself, and a massive claw on one of the paws caught the green pony across his chest. He screamed in pain at this, though the sound was lost amid the horrible screeching coming from the manticore itself as it fell from the sky, completely out of control.
The pegasus spread his wings out and brought himself into a hover, though this time the effort of flapping them caused a throbbing, searing pain in his chest. He glanced down and saw a ragged cut across his front and realized that the claw must have grazed or even torn some of his flight muscles. That will make it harder to fly, he thought, and the idea of something so wonderful tarnished by the injury only stoked his rage and anger back to where it had been a few moments prior.
A groan of pain came from below, and the stallion's eyes narrowed again as his gaze was drawn to the wounded manticore lying a hundred feet below in the small clearing it had crashed in. “Oh, I'm not done with you motherfucker!” The pegasus bellowed just before he pushed himself into a dive and aimed for the leonine creature. Just before he hit, the stallion folded his wings in tight and then shifted his body so that all four of his hooves would impact at the same time, and bone crunched loudly as the pegasus landed on the manticore's rib cage.
The beast roared in pain, though it was relatively quiet as most of the air had been forced out of its lungs, leaving it unable to move much. The shock of the impact also shook up the attacking pony as well, however, and he rolled off of the beast and flopped to the ground for a moment, too stunned to move. He came back to his senses a split second later, however, when one of the manticore's flailing limbs managed to connect, and the pegasus felt new pain erupt on his face and neck as the clawed paw slapped him away, sending the pony on a short ballistic flight.
The stallion yelped and groaned in pain as he landed, and he took a moment to collect himself before he struggled back to his hooves. He could feel the hot, wet stickiness of blood pouring from his  multiple wounds, but he ignore the sensation as he turned to look at the writhing manticore only a few feet away. The beast continued to cry out and moan in pain, and again the pegasus felt a strain of sympathy rise up within him. All the damage I did, and the fall... He ain't getting up again. The thought went through his mind like a ringing bell, and for a moment he wondered what he should do about it. His intellect, having been shoved aside for most of the battle, finally came to the fore and reminded him what he had to do. Mercy and need wrapped up in one, the pegasus thought, as he spied a particularly large rock nearby, before he limped over to it while favoring his right rear leg. Must've landed harder than I thought, the pony darkly mused as he forced himself to stand on his hind legs despite the pain. At a thought his wings snapped out and back to act as a counterbalance, and he quickly knelt down briefly to hoist the stone into the air using only his forelegs.
The stallion grunted and nearly screamed in pain at the stress the heavy stone put on his injured body, but he ignored it as he walked on his rear legs to the manticore's head. The beast had started to go into shock and so was not wildly flailing at the moment, but it snarled and snapped at the pony as he came close.
“You made a big mistake, buddy,” the pegasus grunted, as he lifted the rock above his head. “You never, ever fuck with a human!” And with that, he brought the stone down atop the manticore's head.
A loud crunch and the sudden stilling of the predator's body told the pegasus that the deed was done, and he quickly dropped back to all fours. Okay, now I... need to... His thoughts started to run ragged as the adrenalin left his system, and the pain in his body, especially his chest and face, returned to the fore of his consciousness. “Oh God, that hurts,” he mumbled before he fell to the ground and everything went black.