//------------------------------// // Chapter Two: Part Sixteen // Story: The Misadventure Of: A Bunch Of Silly Ponies That Just So Happen To Not Be Applejack // by OCisbestpony //------------------------------// Chapter Two: Part Sixteen Time Turner stretched as the morning sun warmed his face. He turned to look at one of his many, many, many clocks. He had awoken exactly 13 minutes and 27 seconds prior to the set alarm time. Perfect. 5.3 seconds to get out of bed. 30.46 seconds to arrive to the rest room. 17.34 minutes to shower. 7.43 minutes to brush the teeth (half the time Colgate often recommended, but the idea of spending 14.86 minutes on that task seemed simply like a deplorable expenditure of time). Rise. Spit. 5.32 minutes to arrive to the kitchen to prepare breakfast. What to eat? He allowed himself no more then 3.00 minutes to ponder and decide. Bananas. Some thought it an odd choice, but then again, some thought his avid detestment of pears to be odd. Horrid things, pears. 5.72 minutes to eat. 1.56 minutes to wash hooves. 2.29 minutes to enter shop. Time Turner was, first and foremost, a scientist, an academic, and a scholar. Secondarily, he was a merchant. He rather detested being one, but a pony needs bits to fund their studies, and due to the rather hoity nature of the Canterlot Society of Magical and Scientific Studies, he had to work for them. Despite his many attempts to persuade them to the contrary, they had felt that his field of research did not merit funding. So, denied his much needed grants, he had to sell clocks and hourglasses for a living. He let out a small sigh as he dusted off the various good that ticked away merrily in his store. All those years of study, the letters of introduction, being given the most noble honor of being able to appear before the Princess's personal panel of Magical and Scientific Innovations and Endeavors, and here he was selling clocks. It is worth nothing however, that the board did not contain Princess Celestia herself. Rather, the board decided if what was brought before it was worth bringing before the Princess. It is also worth noting that he had gotten that far not once, but thrice. Once for each Princess (and, if given the chance, he had planned on trying a forth time). But still, they felt that it wasn't yet a valid field of research. He glanced longingly over at his PhD. It hung on the wall behind his counter. The letters still shined like the day he was awarded it. Canterlot University of Sciences and Magical Studies We hereby decree that Mr. Hooves Having with honor and excellence fulfilled all requirements set heretofore by the officers and professors of this institution as well as her most noble and honorable majesty herself, Princess Celestia has been found worthy of, and from henceforth, to be a recipient of the degree of Doctorate of Temporal Sciences Major: Scientific, Magical, and Theoretical Application and Study and bestow upon him all due honors, rights, and privileges pertaining to this most noble of degrees. He'd never forgotten how that mistake with his name had come about. Due to unforeseen events, his award ceremony had been horribly delayed, and even when it had all come together, it had been a very last minute affair. So much so that they had to ask what his name was as he approached the stage. When he had whispered “Time Turner”, the old pony who had asked had answered, “Mr. Whos?” (she had a bit of an accent you see). As a result, the equally old pony giving him the award had misheard her and had announced him as “Mr. Hooves”, and since the diploma was blank, a third pony had scribbled that name onto the paper just before handing it to him. And before he could correct him, he had been ushered out of the room and the diploma had been framed and shipped to his home. Luckily for him, this rather notable clerical error had never proven to cause him any problems. And while he could get it fixed, he had decided to keep it that way as a painful reminder of just how important it is to be punctual. Granted, he was always that way. Always had been. But the one time he allowed himself to slip, this had happened (though, to this day, he still had to admit that the pre-award party was really quite fun). Well, it was too late now. It's not like he could go back in time and fix it. Well … that wasn't completely correct. In theory it was possible. According to his research, Star Swirl the Bearded had proven that it was possible, and, if you gave the rumors credit, he had attempted to do so himself. He had also heard rumors of Princess Twilight having played with time travel, but that too was unfounded. At least, in his attempts to approach her with the matter, her answers were always inconclusive, though that may have had to do with the fact that every time he tried to discuss it with her, his ability to form coherent sentences crumbled. So, as far as he knew, no pony has ever successfully traversed time. If only he had been born a unicorn! If he had, then perhaps he could have the ability to prove his theories! But, sadly, it was not so. He was an earth pony. An earth pony with a talent for time. Then again, he mused, if he had been born a unicorn, then odds were that he would have caused all sorts of mischief. Why, he wagered, that he would eventually get so lost in the wibbley wobbliness that is time that he would have ended up forgetting when he was from! But, as it was, his talents and skills were limited by his birth. He did have one thing going for him however: He had been born with with his cutie mark. Granted, he had no idea what this meant, but surely, it meant something, right? But we digress, for there are more important things on hoof then the petty lamentations of a clock maker. Things like, how Berry, Bon-Bon, and Lyra got their flanks thoroughly, and quite liberally, kicked... As they sped towards the stone outcropping that marked their destination, all three ponies (well, two ponies and a flying foot) could feel a growing sense of dread. Would the sixth monster be there? And if it was, what would it be like? And more importantly, would they have to somehow battle it? If they were lucky, then perhaps they could avoid a fight, and head straight to the teleporter. Bon-Bon was unsure what they were going to face, but she hoped that whatever it was, they would be able to handle it. It would only be a matter of moments now before they hit the outcropping. Only a matter of moments until impact... They landed safely in the center of the camp, and as Lyra touched down, Bon-Bon hopped off and Berry gingerly slid off the massive flying … thing. There was nothing. Well, nothing aside from the various rocks that jutted up out of the earth and the little cave that was their destination. It was, quiet … too quiet. Quiet enough for even silence to be weary of terrible one-liners... Bon-Bon shook the silly thought from her head. Now was not the time for such things. “Alright,” she paused, looking around once more, “Let's head to the cave, slowly...” she practically whispered. Owing to the rather unnaturally unnoisy nature of their location, it was easy for the other two to hear her, and to begin creeping their way there alongside her. Bon-Bon knew there was trouble. Nothing was ever this silent without a good reason. Still, there was nothing thus far to bar their way. She paused for a moment. There was nothing at all. No debris, no boxes, nothing. It was as though nopony had ever been here. Not even hoof-prints. This suddenly troubled Bon-Bon greatly. There was a fair bit of rubble when they had left yesterday, where was it all now? “Lyra,” Bon-Bon said rather quietly, “can you hear anything? Anything at all?” Bon-Bon glanced over at her, and winced as she saw two oversized ears pop, rather suddenly, out of her flying friend. They turned this way and that, craning for anything that might make a peep. “Nothin' Bon-Bon.” Lyra said. “If that sixth one is here, he or she must be either too scared to come out, or is really, really good at hiding.” It was about then they began to hear a soft, and unbelievably beautiful melody. Bon-Bon, wise to such oddities, opened her mouth, “RUN! RUN FOR THE CAVE!” She wasn't about to let herself be fooled, or lulled into some sort of trap. So, she booked it. Upon reflection, it would have been wiser to simply land right in front of the cave, rather then a notable amount of paces away from it. As it was however, they had chosen unwisely. For, as she made her way with great haste, all of the debris that Bon-Bon had been wondering about suddenly, and quite unexpectedly, shot from behind a large stone and plugged the entrance to said cave. “ABORT! GET ON LYRA!” Bon-Bon shouted, and pivoted rather sharply to leap upon the flying one. Pity it was that her flying friend was nowhere near her. In alarm, she looked back at her two companions. They were conscious, clear-eyed, and in seemingly good condition. They were also dancing. Even Bon-Bon had to pause for a moment. She didn't know how a pony and a … um … whatever Lyra was, could perform with such grace, beauty, and unparalleled majesty. But by Celestia, they were doing it! She watched as their forms blended together, then melted apart. Berry's moments were perfect, and Lyra's constantly shifting shape only served to highlight, if not enhance, their grace. With spins, twists, and leaps, they flew about the rocks, their movements unhindered by such petty concerns as gravity or the laws of physics. If Bon-Bon thought she knew the meaning of art and beauty, she had just been proven wrong. Very, very wrong. Poor Bon-Bon. She had tried so hard to avoid a trap. She really had. But, one pony can not predict all things. As it was, there she was, completely defenseless, transfixed on her friends' endless dance. She didn't notice a figure pass her, nor did she notice when it approached her two friends. She barely noticed it when it stepped between the two, joining in their dance. She saw little more then a third figure when it had taken the lead, and it had slid further into her notice when the dance was no longer about the beauty of grace, but the beauty of her. Indeed, no longer was this dance the very pinnacle of all beauty in Equestria. The mare in the center now stood upon, nay, conquered that pillar. Words cannot describe what Bon-Bon saw. The dance no longer even seemed worthy of notice. There, in between the two, stood a mare who's beauty had surpassed anything Bon-Bon could have ever dreamed to see. Her mane, tail, and coat all shimmered with a light that stole her breath. Her poise, her movements, it mattered not how she moved or what she did, for Bon-Bon's words failed her and her mind was lost. All thoughts of anything less then she were unworthy, and thus purged with fire! Bon-Bon knew mind control. She knew magical compulsion. This … was neither. There was nothing forcing her to stand still. There was nothing forcing her to lower her guard. No, she was helpless not because some force was making her. She was helpless because she was simply in awe. How could she turn away from this? How could she bring an end this? To do so would be to deprive herself of something that she would never again see. Indeed, to do anything would be to defy and defile logic and reason itself. In short: she was simply unwilling to do anything, so in awe was she. Which made the fist blow a complete, and total surprise. In truth, Bon-Bon didn't even know anything hit her until her eyes had blurred and her vision had filled with dirt. The pain didn't even kick in until the second blow as well, which blow had sent her flying back several paces. It was right about then she suddenly got the idea that something wasn't quite right. She rolled, stood, and turned around to face the mare once more. There she was, still in the middle of her two friends as they danced. A malevolent grin spread across her face as stood upon her hind legs. Bon-Bon watched, transfixed once more, as she lifted her forelegs high into the air, threw her head back, and let forth a note that could only be described as: transcendent. The pain was gone, and Bon-Bon stood, helpless, as the mare spread her forelegs to the side, and with a sudden forward lunge, sent two pieces of wood flying out of the debris and directly at Bon-Bon. It was that act that finally broke her revere. Not so much the sudden nature of it, nor the hostility. No, it was something much more simple. The mare had used magic to throw that wood at her, and that mare, did not have a horn. She let out a surprised yelp as she ducked under the wood, and with speed that surprised her, she lunged forward. Roll, dodge, weave, jump. She flew through the air directly at the mare, hoof reared back and ready for the strike! It met with a satisfying impact, directly on Lyra. Luckily, for that moment, Lyra had taken the form of a light green metal pole, and so the impact to her was minimal. To Bon-Bon however, it hurt like like hay. She was blown back by the deflection, for the mare had used Lyra unto that end, and landed on a plank of wood. She felt the ground beneath her suddenly lift up, knocking her off balance. She looked, just in time to get more wood smacked into her face. She let out a grunt and she rolled back, into a pouncing position. She let out a slow breath. She was no warrior. She had never received any proper combat training, and she most certainly had no ability to fight a battle like this. That is, if she thought about it. She closed her eyes. Let go. Let it all go. Don't fight it, just let it flow. She slowly opened her eyes. She was in the air, mid-leap from one flying board to another. Let it flow. Don't question, just let it flow. She bounded off it, and onto the face of a nearby rock, and like a cat, bounced off of that directly towards the mare. Turning its head slightly, it smiled as Berry suddenly jumped directly into Bon-Bon's path. Bon-Bon watched as her foreleg easily, and effortlessly slipped under Berry's armpit, used her own weight to move her aside, and watched as her other leg made contact with the mare's own face. The mare, rightly surprised, was knocked off her hooves from the blow, and crashed hard into the ground. The song died, and Berry tripped mid-step and fell to the ground. Lyra, still a pole, simply fell and stuck into the ground. Bon-Bon, still an observer, watched as she ran over, grabbed Lyra with her teeth, and lunged once more for the mare. The mare's eyes were panicked, and she scrambled out of the way as the pole smashed into the dirt where she had lay. Bon-Bon, being one to not waste momentum, swung forward on the pole and gave the mare a solid kick with her rear hooves. Pity it was that she was ready for that. She spun with the impact, and grabbed Bon-Bon's rear legs. She continued her spin, lifting Bon-Bon off the ground, and threw her into a nearby stone. Bon-Bon's body prepped itself for the impact, thus reducing the pain and allowed her to dodge the follow-up attack. The mare's hooves barely missed Bon-Bon as she rolled. Though she doubted that the wooden box that was suddenly flying at her would miss. Once more without thought or resistance, she allowed herself to throw Lyra directly into the box, causing it to shatter on impact. BAM Something hard hit the back of her head, causing her to roll once more. Another slam hit right next to her as continued the roll. She popped out of it, landing on her hooves. She opened her mouth, and as if she had summoned it herself, the Lyra-pole was in it once more. The two stood there for a moment. Both were breathing hard, though Bon-Bon had clearly gotten the worse of it. They looked at each other, appraising the other. “W-who are you?” Bon-Bon asked. The mare opened her mouth, but only music came out. Music without lyrics. “W-what? C-can't you talk?” she stumbled out. It was hard to talk without wind and with a pole in one's mouth. Once more the mare opened its mouth, and Bon-Bon saw its lips move as though it were speaking, but once more, nothing but beautiful music came forth. Bon-Bon thought for a moment. If all of the bandits had taken a drink of that brew … then that would mean that this mare could only be... She blinked. “It's you! The stallion from Smokey Mountain! The ugly one!” The mare's eyes flashed with fire, but it gave a slow nod. Once more it opened its mouth to speak, and once more only music it spake. She stamped a hoof in frustration, and tried to speak again. More music. She would have let out an angry roar and stomped the ground with her front hooves out of rage and frustration, but she could only really do the latter (the attempt at the former yielded a very lovely aria). The mare pointed an angry hoof at Bon-Bon, and began singing a rather energetic melody; one that did not match the face full of pounding blood vessels of fury that begun to crisscross her spotless face. Even then, rather then detract from her beauty, they changed it from one kind, to another. Finally, her patience broke, and she charged. Bon-Bon had rather hoped that would happen. One series of bold, loud, and rather large BIFFS, POWs, BLAAAAMs, and even one THWACK later, Bon-Bon stood over her battered and beaten foe. Breathing heavy, and covered in various and sundry scuffs and scratches, she had to admit, it had been one mighty brawl (and how!). She spit Lyra out and she landed with a solid **clang** on the ground. “T-th … that's ho-how it's done!” Bon-Bon gasped. “U-urk...” was all the mare could manage. Her limbs twitched and her eyes spiraled about. “R-Right...” Bon-Bon panted, “Let's … get going...” She stood there, breathing heavily for a moment, then slowly, ever so slowly, began walking to the cave. “B-Bon-Bon?” Berry's voice felt far away, “Wh-What was that?!” Bon-Bon turned to Berry, her head hanging low. That fight took quite a bit out of her, and even holding her head up was proving to be difficult. “L-Lyra … would you m-mind explaining?” she said. “Got it!” piped up the light green pole. Berry's head turned to Lyra as she once more changed her shape to the flying thing. “So, Bon-Bon's never had any real combat training, right?” “You can't tell me that after what I just saw! What about Cherry's army? And-and THAT!” she pointed a hoof at the mare on the ground. “She even said herself that everypony who's worked in Cherry's orchards gets some kind of training!” “Well, that's just it Berry,” Lyra explained, “She's never worked in Ms. Jubilee's orchards.” “B-But...” Berry's mouth hung open, “What about when they got all lined up and stuff? I saw Bon-Bon head into it, like she knew what she was doing!” “Oh, that? She was heading to the center, the safest spot. That's what Cherry teaches the ponies who don't have any formal training to do.” “Oh...” Berry said, obviously a little disappointed. “But even so! What about what just happened?!” she said, a little frustrated. “B-Berry,” Bon-Bon began, her wind catching back up with her, “I can't really control it.” “Huh? What do you mean?” Berry blinked. “R-Right … for the sake of time, let's just put it this way: What I did, I can only do if I just kinda let my body move on its own. I don't really understand why I can do that, nor do I,” she paused, taking a few breaths, “know how I can. All I know is that I've been able to do it for a very long time.” “How long?” Berry asked. “As long as I've known her.” Lyra piped up. “And how long is that?” “I-” Lyra and Bon-Bon shared an uncomfortable glance. “A long time.” Bon-Bon said finally. Berry let out a snort, but said nothing more. Bon-Bon was rather glad for it, for the last thing she wanted to deal with was Berry flying off the handle again. While she would have liked to tell her, there are just somethings that she couldn't. “Y-yeah,” Lyra said, breaking the awkward silence, “so, this teleporter?” “Right! Lyra, can you go back to being … normal?” Bon-Bon asked. “Uh … not sure how. I'm not really sure how to even control my shape when I'm like this.” Lyra admitted. This did not please Bon-Bon, but she was more annoyed then angry. “I know how!” Berry said rather cheerfully. “Take another swig! It changed me back when I did, so I'm sure it'll do the same to you!” Bon-Bon and Lyra looked to each other. If they could have, they would have both shrugged. “Worth a shot I suppose.” Bon-Bon ventured. “Alright, I'll try. Where is it?” Lyra asked. Berry's face scrunched with concentration as she held a hoof out. Bon-Bon watched, and was rather surprised when a bottle quite suddenly, and magically, appeared in Berry's waiting hoof. “Woah. How did you do that Berry?” Lyra asked, clearly amazed. “I-I'm not sure. I just kinda … wanted it to pop into my hoof, and it did.” she shrugged. “Are you sure about this? You said it was cursed and told her to not drink it.” Bon-Bon pointed out. “No, not at all. But until I can figure out how to get rid of this evil thing, I guess we might as well use it. I mean, I hate to admit it, but it has saved our flanks like, three or four times now.” Berry said, clearly not liking the words coming out of her mouth. “It's also caused all of our problems thus far, well, most of them anyway.” Lyra countered. “Y-yeah …,” Berry sighed, “but it's too late to do anything about that now, right?” “I suppose we could...” Bon-Bon paused, then looked down as the mangled mare. “Give him some, let's see what happens.” “I-I don't know about this. What if it only makes him-her-it stronger?” Lyra said. There was a pause as they all considered this. “Lyra, can you use your magic like that? If you can, I don't think you'll need to change back.” Bon-Bon hoped th- Nope. Not at all.” Lyra said flatly. “Well, I can make myself levitate, but that's about it, and even then only when I'm small.” Well horseapples. “Look, just let me take a swig. If it works, then there's no problem. And if it doesn't, then I guess I'll be the best feather-duster anypony could ever hope to be!” This time, both Berry and Bon-Bon exchanged glances. Then, hesitantly, and a little fearfully, Berry gave the bottle to Lyra. Or rather, to be more accurate, laid it on top of her, since she could see no hooves or mouth to put the bottle into. “Um … how are you going to drink it?” Berry asked. “You just had to ask, didn't you?” Bon-Bon said. Before Berry could open her mouth to respond, Lyra suddenly, and quite alarmingly, changed into a giant pair of lips. Said lips then opened, and simply swallowed the bottle wholesale. Both mares stared in both horror and fascination at this rather … unexpected turn of events. After several tense moments, Lyra began to glow, twist, bend and then finally become enveloped in a blinding glow of golden light. Both mares shielded their eyes from it, and when it died down a few moments later, there stood one very normal looking Lyra. “It worked!” Lyra cried. It took Bon-Bon a few moments to recover from what had just happened, after which she said, “You're alright? Nothing off or strange?” “Nope! I feel perfect! Even my magic feels normal again!” Lyra grinned from ear to ear. “That's good. Hopefully then we can get that teleporter working.” Bon-Bon replied. “Ohhh! That's why you asked about her magic!” Berry said. “Yes, I assume that we'll need it to activate the teleporter, and I had assumed, rightly so it would seem, that she was unable to use it while she was like that.” Bon-Bon explained, casting a glance back at the cave. “That makes sense...” Berry said, putting a thoughtful hoof to her chin. “But what about her-him?” she asked, pointing a hoof at the mare on the ground. “Shouldn't we change him back? I mean, we can't just leave him like this!” Bon-Bon let out an internal sigh. Berry really was too kind for her own good. “I'm not gonna stop you.” Bon-Bon said, turning around and heading to the cave, “Come on Lyra, let's see if we can get this thing working.” The last thing she heard before the roar of magic filled the air was the POP of a bottle cap, and sounds of a very, very thirsty pony taking a very, very deep drink.